Hell 2, The Sequel - No more room in Hell

[DisneyJill]

I just want everybody to know that this morning, when the Mickey alarm went off, Linda said (and I quote): "I'm going to kill Mickey . . . no, wait, I have a better idea, I'm going to go to Disney World, kill myself and make it look like Mickey did it."

I just want this on the record in case anything happens.:lookaroun



On the unrelated Hell front, Ryan always has tons of kids over drinking my Vanilla Coke by the gallon, and eating frozen pizzas like they were Tic-Tacs. I've told Ryan that I want to see some return on my investment, so I'm going to begin roasting up his friends and eating them . . . problem is, most of them are skinny and scrawny. I've asked him to start choosing chubbier, more tender friends who are well marbled with fat.

I'm with TAC on this one...I've often thought that Gary's posts should include a *You may spit your morning coffee/Pepsi/slobber at your monitor after viewing this post* disclaimer. :lol:

 

[TAC]

Darn! Roast children are low-carb aren't they? Does someone have a chart we can check?

But, do they taste like Chicken Parm ?

 

[garyhoov]

But, do they taste like Chicken Parm ?

:lol: Hmmmmm, maybe Chuck knew something we didn't . . .

 

[MouseMadness]

*warms self in the hell fires* Ahhh

Anything is better than -20!!

 

[JBSLJames]

Gary, Gary, Gary, everyone knows (or so I thought) that you can't roast a scrawny teen. Do to the lean mass, they tend to have a bit of a "Gamey" flavor to them. Slightly Less Than Good Housekeeping has a lovely recipe that requires the use of a 5 quart Crock Pot. The nice thing about this recipe is it also has some suggestions for the scraps. One is geared at a "Mother In-Law" Sausage Stew. It will keep her coming back for more. The other is a simple gruel for pets and small animals alike.

Bon appetit

 

[garyhoov]

One is geared at a "Mother In-Law" Sausage Stew.

Mmmmmm:slurp: That's some good eatin'

 

[Irrawaddy Erik]

You know it's bad when I have to mentally prepare myself to read Gary's posts.
:lol:

 

[Legacy]

I don't know what's worse...

The fact that you put an old ladies picture on a manatee... or the fact that you are implying eating a manatee.

 

[garyhoov]

I don't know what's worse...

The fact that you put an old ladies picture on a manatee... or the fact that you are implying eating a manatee.

Hey! That's no old lady! It's my mother in law.

For the reason she's a manatee . . . (who am I kidding, I never have any reason for the crap I do) . . . see this page:

http://home.comcast.net/~ghoover/day_2.htm

 

[DisneyJill]

Mmmmmm:slurp: That's some good eatin'

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Gary...there aren't words...I have tears...laughing so hard...must...stop...

 

[figmentmom]

*warms self in the hell fires* Ahhh

Anything is better than -20!!

You said it! And the company's fun, too...roasting teenagers, discussing clasic movie idols like Chucky, frolicking in the surf with Gary's mother-in-law...it doesn't get any better than this! :lol:

 

[WDWScottieBoy]

Why did it take 12 pages until I finally come to this thread?!? :lol:

Gary, I knew you were funny but after just these past two pages, HOLY COW!

Thanks for making me REALLY laugh today, those photos and "stories" are hilarious. :lol:

 

[garyhoov]

THE GNOME FROM HELL

I don't think I've told this story yet, but for Christmas, Linda's evil sister (shown here photoshopped to look like a drag-queen from Mardi-Gras:

Sent me a soap sculpted into the shape of an evil gnome. While we all know that all gnomes are evil (with the possible exception of the "Roving Gnome", this one is particularly evil because, not only does he have a lecherous grin, but he has his hands in his pockets playing pocket pool.

I put it aside, and just tried to forget about it, but a few days after christmas, I was taking a shower and saw this:

That night, Linda woke to find him standing on her night-stand, watching her sleep, and since then, I've lost count of all the places he has shown up.



He was in Linda's box of Diet Coke for a few days:

And she grabbed at least a few cans before noticing he was there.

I think my favorite was when he showed up being naughty in Linda's underwear drawer:

 

[garyhoov]

Here he is having his filthy way with the now infamous alarm clock:

Enjoying a little quiet time:

Getting ready for the game:

Scanning his butt:

And having a little talk with Mickey:

 

[Irrawaddy Erik]

Gary I would love to see a documentary made about you and your family............... :lookaroun

 

[MouseMadness]

Oh my. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[figmentmom]

We have a pink plastic lawn flamingo in our neightborhood that shows up in some pretty strange places, but I fear your naughty gnome takes the prize... :lol:

 

[DisneyJill]

The picture of the gnome on the toilet confirms it. My bags are packed and I'm headed to New Jersey to be a Hoov. I'm missing out on WAY too much good, clean Hoov fun. :lookaroun

 

[WDWScottieBoy]

That's almost as bad as taking those white reindeer from winter-time that people put in their lawns and put one on top of the other. :lookaroun

Gary, I'm going to be checking this thread more often to hear of your stories...and shame on you for showing your wife's underwear! I don't know what's worse in that picture, the fact that he is in her underwear or that she only has one pair. :lol:

 

[Irrawaddy Erik]

We have a pink plastic lawn flamingo in our neightborhood that shows up in some pretty strange places, but I fear your naughty gnome takes the prize... :lol:

I wonder what whould happen if the flamingo and the gnome joined forces?