Family Issues

[gleason406]

I need to vent....my DH and I are taking our DS 3 1/2 & DS 2 on a 10 day trip in September and we have also included grandma in our plans and we are paying her way. We were able to take advantage of the free dining so that saved us some money but we are still paying the room/tickets & airfare. The problem is we have family that lives in the Tampa area and while we are going on a much needed family vacation they see it as we have to see them while we are there. We fly so we don't have to rent a car and deal with car seats and then we are not obligated to drive all over the state of Florida visiting family. We have always invited them to spend the day with us hanging by the pool or whatever. Well this year my aunt would like my mom to spend a few days with her at her new house. I have already made all of of ADR's and now my mom wants to spend 3 days with my aunt & uncle and I kind of feel that is unfair to us since we are paying for the vacay. They are also driving up to spend an entire day with us at the resort so we are giving up a day in the parks. My mom also doesn't understand the whole ADR thing and the difficulty of getting into certain places and changing them.

So my question is should I be mad at my mom? have a converstaion with my aunt? I'm a little annoyed that my mom's room will be empty for 2-3 nights especially since the money is coming out of my pocket....

I just feel we can never venture to Disney for a vacation without drama.....

Help!

 

[sueuk]

I know you just want us to read this and sympathise ... so here I am in the UK, feeling annoyed on your behalf! :wave:

 

[heartodisney]

We do not have relatives there...but many friends there...going to take wifes mom next trip..and drive down to visit relatives ON the way..so ...kinda know what ya are going thru...talk to your aunt..privately..andhave her talk to your mom...gotta get that out...or it could ruin a GREAT vacation! Good luck!

 

[WDW_Jon]

If they want to see her tell them to pay to change the flights and add a couple of days on for her after you leave for home!

 

[Beccone]

I can sympathize with you situation. We are bringing my mil along with us for the second year in a row but thankfully she is paying her way. My dh has family in Florida which we have seen every trip we have taken to WDW but we have never driven the 2 hours to them, they have always come to us. Is it possible to have her vacation package shortened by a few days? That way you would not be spending the money on her when she won't be there, maybe she can visit with your aunt towards the end of your trip and have your aunt drive her to the airport when you all depart. So many people do not understand the ADR thing, I have friends recently that went and couldn't understand why they couldn't book any character meals when they got to the resort. I don't think you'll have any problem with changing your ADR's from 5 to 4.

 

[WDW_Emily]

We have somewhat of the same thing going on.

We have relitives that live in Orlando and want us to sleep at their house and not on property and eat with them and just spend time with them and not do the whole disney thing. Our next trip is for April and we already know where we want to make ADR's and we want to go to a water park this time too. But they want us to go to a lake with them for a long weekend. leaving us only 3 nights on disney property my mom basically left it as its a long time away we don't know yet. but my dad is all excited about it. Our Relitives Work for disney so they see it everyday and we only Visit Florida once every year or so. Talk about being torn. Not to mention we are taking two first timers with us.... UGH i know just how you feel

 

[durangojim]

I need to vent....my DH and I are taking our DS 3 1/2 & DS 2 on a 10 day trip in September and we have also included grandma in our plans and we are paying her way. We were able to take advantage of the free dining so that saved us some money but we are still paying the room/tickets & airfare. The problem is we have family that lives in the Tampa area and while we are going on a much needed family vacation they see it as we have to see them while we are there. We fly so we don't have to rent a car and deal with car seats and then we are not obligated to drive all over the state of Florida visiting family. We have always invited them to spend the day with us hanging by the pool or whatever. Well this year my aunt would like my mom to spend a few days with her at her new house. I have already made all of of ADR's and now my mom wants to spend 3 days with my aunt & uncle and I kind of feel that is unfair to us since we are paying for the vacay. They are also driving up to spend an entire day with us at the resort so we are giving up a day in the parks. My mom also doesn't understand the whole ADR thing and the difficulty of getting into certain places and changing them.

So my question is should I be mad at my mom? have a converstaion with my aunt? I'm a little annoyed that my mom's room will be empty for 2-3 nights especially since the money is coming out of my pocket....

I just feel we can never venture to Disney for a vacation without drama.....

Help!

Not quite sure if she wants to spend 3 additional days with your aunt and uncle or 3 days with them instead of you. If it causes issues financially with regards to the flights, then just tell her that's fine, but she or your aunt should pay for the changes. If it is days with the aunt instead of you, I don't see what the big deal is as long as your mom or aunt makes transporation arrangements to get her to Tampa. I don't see how ADRs have anything to do with the situation, your mom just won't make it to those ressies. No big deal, relax, you're still going to have a great time and let your mom do what she wants.

 

[Monty]

Since your mother will be in a room of her own, perhaps put the visit at one end or the other of the vacation and she can either check in late or out early and save you the money for the room at least. If you're all on the same booking, you can get tickets for what you need for her portion of the stay [less the one day you'll have visitors and not going to a park] and then upgrade the tickets of those staying while she visits for the extra days needed, she checks out early it shouldn't affect the dining for the rest of you.

ADRs don't need to be changed [actually changing from 5 to 4 might not even be possible], reducing your party could easily be explained away by a membre of the group just not being hungry... :shrug:

 

[wdwmomof3]

The only problem that I would have with that would be that I have paid for a room that will be empty for three nights, but if they are connecting, it could come in handy. :ROFLOL: In fact, it might not be such a bad thing after all, if you really think about it. :lol:

Sorry, my mind is in the gutter.

 

[gleason406]

Thanks everyone! We had originally planned my aunt to come up so I made ADR's to include her and my cousin now the whole family is coming up that Saturday and that is an additional 3 people and since it is a Saturday night I'm finding it impossible to change them to include everyone. As for trying to arrange my mom spending time with the family at the end of the trip my aunt can only take certain days off of work so it's smack dab in the middle of our vacation so I would have to book two seperate reservations. My mom feels conflicted I think she hasn't really said much.......I'm going to try and work it out and see what happens.......

 

[kstella]

The only advice I have is to handle the situation with care and tact or it could all blow up in your face and become ugly.

 

[I_heart_Tigger]

As someone who has lived away from home I can tell you that if I had any chance to see my sister, when I was away I would take it. Don't be mad at your Mom because she really just wants to spend time with family that she doesn't get to see often and she probably doesn't know when she will get to spend time with them again.

Family is more important than ADR's, or room reservations so don't let this cause a big fight. If the money issue is really going to upset you then talk to your Aunt and see if she can cover any costs associated with your Mom traveling to see her.

When I was living in Scotland I gave up seeing a music festival in England because I would get to spend that day with my sister. I was out of pocket the concert tickets and some of my traveling expenses since i had to cancel on short notice. It ended up being around $600 gone but it was worth it to spend time with my sister.

Start getting postive about the day spent at the resort instead of thinking of it as your aunt ruining a day you could have spent at the parks. Also, if your Mom is away for three days you get to have some family time with the hubby and kids without worrying about what she wants to do.

If you are not out any extra money at all and your mom is happy because she got to visit her family than consider it a successful trip...don't think of it as your Mom causing your to "lose" money that you would have spent anyway.

After all would you rather spend "x" amount of $$$ and have your Mom happy even though she misses some reservations and isn't in the room or spend the exact same amount and have everyone happy with you?


ps...as for the ADR's you may just have to explain that you can't get everyone in, not your fault if the restaurant is booked, so then you have to decide whether to eat somewhere else with everyone or split the family up, you can always leave it on their shoulders and ask them what they want to do

 

[danpam1024]

The only problem that I would have with that would be that I have paid for a room that will be empty for three nights, but if they are connecting, it could come in handy. :ROFLOL: In fact, it might not be such a bad thing after all, if you really think about it. :lol:

Sorry, my mind is in the gutter.

I was thinking the same thing...10 days is a long time:lookaroun

 

[DisneyChristian]

(From the wife of this user) At first I was like OH smack, no she didn't. Because the thought of having to do any or all of those things on a vacation, would literally enrage me. But then I started reading the advice of the other obviously more sensible people on the board. And I have to tell you, they are some smart people. First of all, your mom being able to spend time with her sister is important, and I see that. We don't have any gaurantee of future times to see our friends or family. Secondly I like the idea of having and empty room for a few nights... wow did that bring up a good point. Since we are going in December and will be sharing a tiny room with our two daughters, wish we had that luxury!! lol. Anyways, I think calm down and smell the roses. I mean its life its supposed to be fun, and spontaneous and not so planned out every detail. I think sometimes the events we have planned on a moments notice seemed so much more fun than those detailed to the max. I for one, hope my hubby can take it easy this time around, since we were just there last year and he nearly killed us with his detailed plans and extensive park touring. I honestly had to take 2 extra weeks off work when I came home due to sickeness/exhuastion. Not kidding. Have fun!

 

[danpam1024]

(From the wife of this user) At first I was like OH smack, no she didn't. Because the thought of having to do any or all of those things on a vacation, would literally enrage me. But then I started reading the advice of the other obviously more sensible people on the board. And I have to tell you, they are some smart people. First of all, your mom being able to spend time with her sister is important, and I see that. We don't have any gaurantee of future times to see our friends or family. Secondly I like the idea of having and empty room for a few nights... wow did that bring up a good point. Since we are going in December and will be sharing a tiny room with our two daughters, wish we had that luxury!! lol. Anyways, I think calm down and smell the roses. I mean its life its supposed to be fun, and spontaneous and not so planned out every detail. I think sometimes the events we have planned on a moments notice seemed so much more fun than those detailed to the max. I for one, hope my hubby can take it easy this time around, since we were just there last year and he nearly killed us with his detailed plans and extensive park touring. I honestly had to take 2 extra weeks off work when I came home due to sickeness/exhuastion. Not kidding. Have fun!

You poor thing..but I understand your hubby, I'm a DETAILED planner.

 

[corey154]

next time you plan to come to florida, i would sneak down with your kids and hubby and not tell anyone so no ones feelings can be hurt!

I know it doesn't help you this trip, but if it makes you feel better I'd be aggravated too. Disney is expensive and you've put a lot of thought and money into your kids having a vacation with their grandma.

 

[OneLuckyMom]

Just a few years ago, things like this with my parents irritated me to no end too. They came with my daughter and me to WDW just 3 years ago, and having to work around what they wanted to do and the pace they wanted to go at (slooooow) was just a pain in the you know what.

Then they both became ill, going from very active to being in pretty bad shape in a relatively short time.

This year we are shortening our annual WDW vacation to go spend a few days with them at their house in LA. Frankly, I'm not convinced my father will be alive for our regular trip at Christmas and I want the time with them for both me and my daughter.

I'd absolutely kill for my parents to be well enough to travel with us again this year, and for me to have to deal with all of your issues.

'Nuf said.

 

[kbmum]

Even though the days away are in the middle of the vacation, I would still cancel the extra room for those days. No matter where you're staying, that's just too much money to waste if no one is in the room.

 

[justdru]

I'd absolutely kill for my parents to be well enough to travel with us again this year, and for me to have to deal with all of your issues.

'Nuf said.

Very valid point. It's frustrating but do try to make the best of it.

 

[FloridaJosh]

Just a few years ago, things like this with my parents irritated me to no end too. They came with my daughter and me to WDW just 3 years ago, and having to work around what they wanted to do and the pace they wanted to go at (slooooow) was just a pain in the you know what.

Then they both became ill, going from very active to being in pretty bad shape in a relatively short time.

This year we are shortening our annual WDW vacation to go spend a few days with them at their house in LA. Frankly, I'm not convinced my father will be alive for our regular trip at Christmas and I want the time with them for both me and my daughter.

I'd absolutely kill for my parents to be well enough to travel with us again this year, and for me to have to deal with all of your issues.

'Nuf said.

Well said. So many people forget what is important. You aren't here to see Disney. You are here to spend time with the people you love. Years from now, Disney will still be here. You won't regret the time you spent with family.