Dark PerGron’s Manor of Mysteries [Game Thread] {Finished}

JokersWild

Well-Known Member
First I’d like to thank you all for taking our criticisms to heart. While both teams still experienced some growing pains this round (I’m sure partially due to the team swap) you all really pulled it together and made the effort to address many of the problems we had with your first projects. Second, thanks for sticking with us, especially to those of you who have never played before. It’s only round two and it’s already been a wild game so thanks so much for rolling with the punches and producing a pair of pretty great projects. Last bit of housekeeping, please make sure you’re including proper credits in your presentation. I know both teams had some issues getting their projects presentable in time, but credit is a pretty important thing to include in team projects, even if it’s just a brief list at the end. ANYWAY on to the projects!

Team Lore - Avengers World Expo at DCA
First things first I love that name. I get why Disney went with calling the land a “campus,” but it feels so cold and manufactured. Just like the rest of the land amirite! Right off the bat I would have really appreciated some descriptions of your land. Is it the same aesthetic as Avengers Campus, or did you switch it up? Is there a story to the Expo or are we just calling it that? Those are literally the first questions I had upon opening your site and they seem to be left unanswered. You’ve also committed the cardinal sin of including a picture of DC’s Egghead (eggcelently portrayed by Vincent Price) rather than Marvel’s. 0/10.

In line with you guys taking our critiques to heart, I was glad to see that both teams included entertainment. You guys had an interesting choice with Marvel vs. Capcom. I’m honestly very conflicted about it. You obviously have a lot of passion for the property, but at the end of the day I’m not sure how well it fits with the rest of your land. Furthermore, when creating an attraction centered around a niche IP, I think it’s important to make sure it’s accessible to everyone. There’s a lot of name-dropping going on in your description and while I have a tertiary knowledge of Capcom games and their characters, I still find myself constantly looking up characters. That being said, when removing it from the rest of the land I think you have a great stunt show. They’re kind of a lost art that I’d love to see make a comeback and the Marvel roster makes perfect sense to do that. The action is great, as are the interactions and setpieces. Just, like, maybe this could have featured just Marvel characters? Like a Battleworld Secret Wars show or something. I dunno. Despite my (admittedly nitpicky) hangups, I had a lot of fun reading this.

Time Racers is a really fascinating and unique E-Ticket. The TVA is one of the best things to come out of post-Endgame MCU so I’m really happy to see it given center stage here. I love the commitment to the aesthetic and vibe from the show. I also really appreciate the brief explanation of what the TVA is. Deadpool is a great, very timely, pull for an antagonist. I also really love the worlds you chose to visit. This is a great way to give some different settings and storylines that would probably never show up in the MCU otherwise some love. Maybe, with your attraction being similar to Cosmic Rewind, the scenes could be randomized? I’m not sure how you intended on building the sets, but if they’re primarily screen-based, as I think they are in Cosmic Rewind, it’d be really easy to randomize them and integrate a whole slew of settings/ Deadpool chaos. Other than that I really love this ride. Amazing job!

Wakanda Outreach Center is an interesting concept that I think is missing something. Right off the bat, I think you should have found a different name for it. I love having the queue set in a Wakandan outreach center, but your attraction is so much more than that. I really like your ride system. Searider has such a unique simulator and it’s a shame that it’s not used anywhere else. That being said, it’s also a pretty tame simulator which is definitely something to look into when you’re designing an exciting superhero ride. I also think that you should have looked a little more into the lore of the characters. I’m not entirely sure when exactly your land is set in the MCU timeline, but Klaw was killed in Black Panther. And, of course, we need to address Chadwick Boseman’s death. Both of those points kind of take away from the project’s realism for me. As for the story, it was a lot of fun, but I would have liked a little more setup in regards to the cosmic cubes and Kobik. Kobik seems like a really fun character, but they don’t really do much in the attraction. Cutting Klaw to focus on Kobik would have helped your attraction a lot, I think. Despite my issues, I think the building blocks are here for something really cool. What you have here, while I generally enjoyed it, left me wanting a bit more.

Getting to Xandar I’m starting to realize why there was no land overview. In a team of six, five of you worked on attractions. This is kind of the problem we had with Team Legend (I think? You guys swap teams too often) last round with the land being left to the wayside and the focus shifting almost exclusively to the attractions. That being said, I really like all of these attractions so you’ve got me there, but my point still stands. Have at least one person who can focus solely on the land description and layout then really pare down your attraction roster and round it out with shopping and dining. Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk, and back to the project’s actual content.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Xandar Rescue is a lot of fun. I really enjoyed the queue, though I think it walks a weird line of both improving on Cosmic Rewind’s and being too similar to it. I also just want to mention the portal story beat as it’s weirdly the most realistic thing in this attraction. Simplifying the wow-moment of Cosmic Rewind’s teleportation scene into a simple portal is both genius and woefully on-brand for our current era of Disney. Past that, I really enjoyed this. It’s a great modern darkride. The pacing is great and I especially like how close we get to the Guardians of the Galaxy. Both Mission Breakout and Cosmic Rewind seem to keep them at a distance so I appreciate the more tangible feel a darkride brings to the action. Great job!

Getting into Spiderman: Swing and Sway, I again have questions about your setting. How are guests getting into the Sanctum Sanctorum? Are we in New York now? You can totally explain it away with magic and it’s a totally valid way to explain that, but I’m just a little confused without that explanation. I love the setup for this. I really like how the MCU paired Doctor Strange and Spider-Man together, so this is a really natural setup and I love how you’ve integrated the other theatrical Spider-Men. This is a great way to give us a bit more time with these characters. I’m a little less sold on your ride system. It’s interesting, but how exactly does it work for a darkride if they can only swing from side to side? Unless the sets can rotate? I love the idea - I’m just not sure how practical it is, though your map does help a lot in visualizing it. The actual attraction is pretty great. However, I think you could have cut the variation with all three Peters and instead folded it into the end of the other three variations. Guests want that payoff of seeing all three together again and I think it’s a little anticlimactic to give most guests only one Spider-Man. This is absolutely the most out of the box concept and I really appreciate you swinging for the fences. Great job!

Your restaurants all seem delightful and varied. I don’t have much to say, honestly. Great job! Shopping is weirdly absent. I know there’s at least one gift shop mentioned at the end of one of the attraction descriptions, but I would have liked to have seen a central, more fleshed out shopping location. Not a huge deal, but worth mentioning.

All in all this is an incredibly solid project. While you fell into a few of the same traps one of the teams did last round, the overall quality of your work and out of the box ideas really saved it. Just make sure not to neglect other equally important aspects of your land. Really, really fantastic job!



Team Legend - Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
Really great job putting this together. As far as I followed, your teamwork this round seemed almost night and day compared to Round 1. Despite a few hiccups and disagreements, you all pulled together to put out a really cool project.

Some general thoughts: I’m very glad that you ended up going with a forested planet rather than Tatooine as you discussed in initial brainstorming. As much as I love Tatooine it’s become really oversaturated in more recent media, or, at least, there’s an oversaturation of arid, desert planets. In any event, Verdantara is a real breath of fresh air and a cool sort of juxtaposition to Pandora to the point that I wish this project could have been set at Disneyland. Totally not your fault - it’s just too perfect of a comparison.

I’d also like to mention your art briefly. AI art is a weird gray area, and still very new in the armchair imagineering scene, but I think you hit a great balance by not fully relying on it or making it too much of a focus. I think there are critiques to be made in the future if it becomes a crutch for someone, but this was the perfect ratio of AI art to “analogue” brick and mortar back-breaking handcrafted art.

I love the feeling of your land. It feels really hidden, and almost like this forgotten corner of the galaxy in a way that Batuu never has. That being said, I do wish that you took a bit more care to separate your backstory from Batuu’s. It just feels really similar where you could have focused less on the smuggling and mafia, and more on the mystical aspects of your land. The mystical aspects of this land are great. I love how you use the World Between Worlds to justify character appearances from all eras of Star Wars, though I’m not sure that’s how the World Between Worlds works? Hopefully @Dark PerGron can answer that for me because boy am I not going to google it. Getting further into the project, this aspect of your backstory does lead me to question when this is supposed to take place. Or is this fully removed from the canon? There’s just a lot of characters from a lot of different eras coexisting in a way more built in that seems more built into the land than it should be. Like, how are Sabine, Din Djarin, and what I presume to be Sith Troopers coexisting?

With that diatribe out of the way, let’s move on to Star Wars: Speed Bike Runners. This seems like a really fun concept. I love the queue and the character you chose to focus on (though she probably could have used a buddy like Chopper maybe?) The coaster, however, while good I got a little confused. Use your themed vehicle and ride system together. Hagrid and Tron are great examples of this with both using terrain and coaster elements to sell that you’re driving a motorcycle. Coasters are really difficult to write, but I never really felt like I was riding a Speederbike. Furthermore, I would have liked to have seen a reason for the addition of the Drop Swing Propulsion element. Though very cool, it really feels like it was used to justify the attraction being the E-Ticket. Maybe there could be a story beat or something to explain why it’s happening - the floor beneath the speederbike collapses or maybe a log it’s crossing gets knocked loose by a blaster and rolls down a hill. Use big elements like that to tell a story. I like the idea of the simulator at the end as well, but it again just feels like an addition to justify its ticket. I don’t mean to be so negative again. I REALLY like the core concept of this attraction. There were just a few small tweaks that could have been made to really set this over the edge for me and make it your premiere attraction.

Star Wars: A Mandalorian Adventure is another fantastic concept that left me wanting a little more. Again, Mando is an amazing pull for an attraction. I love the idea of there being a proper Bounty Hunter’s Guild in your land and I really love the Hutt animatronic (though he should probably have a translator with him. Actually, an Interpreter Droid accompanying him to translate all of his dialogue would be really funny.) I think this just needed more detail. Some of the ideas were a little odd, like having a costumed Mando bring guests out of the preshow and the life-size Rancor for some reason not being featured in the actual attraction, but at the end of the day I just needed more detail. Fully fleshed out, this absolutely could have been your headlining attraction. The ideas are there, just not the execution.

Same thing with Star Wars: Black Squadron. The idea is there, just not the execution. This is a great idea that could be a really fun supporting attraction. It honestly fixes a lot of the issues that Smugglers Run has by stripping the story and, unfortunately, capacity. It just needs more detail and thought into the specifics. I really like it otherwise, though.

Legends of the Past, I think, could have benefitted from a change in setting. A show which features some of the most famous Jedi fighting each other SCREAMS to be set in the World Between Worlds. Or, at least, a place that is highly force sensitive, with a similar setup to that cave on Dagobah. It’s a crime to end this show on a cliffhanger as well. Like, I can’t see that going over well with anyone, though I understand the intention. This is a really fun idea and the show description was really good. It just needs to be better integrated into the rest of the land.

Secrets of the Past is a fantastic way to flesh out some half-baked ideas from the original Galaxy’s Edge. The games all look really fun and I love how it encourages you to explore. I honestly really wish the complex was more central in the land and made more important to the land’s backstory. I could see this doing really well if you really committed, made it a bit larger and varied, and replaced Black Squadron’s footprint with it.

The Marketplace and dining are fine, though I wish you took it a bit further to REALLY differentiate it from Batuu. You have such a unique setting and I would have loved to see the Verdantaran take on a local bazaar or what a Verdantaran restaurant would have looked like outside of the frankly tired Cantina.

Finally we come to the Galactic Starport. A unique addition to Galaxy’s Edge. This was definitely a bit of a challenge, given the limited time and the need to juggle this with Galaxy’s Edge proper, but I think you were wildly successful with it. Already I see the care taken to work this seamlessly into the Star Wars mythos. Naboo is a fantastic setting, and a port of Alderaanian immigrants is a super unique way to explain away the lack of aliens. I love how expanded this is from Galactic Starcruiser. You’ve really given guests a reason to stay here and come back, while taking honestly more care than Disney did to explain many of out-of-world necessities.

That being said, again I would have liked to have seen more detail. Of course, I can only ask for so much with this being more of a supplementary piece than the main focus, but I would have loved even just a basic description of some of the amenities and if any of the roleplaying survived. The room descriptions all sound great. Sector D is a super unique idea, though I’m not sure how it would fly in the US. Really amazing job. You really knocked this curveball out of the park.

This team oddly had the opposite problem that Team Lore had. While you gave quite a bit of thought to your land, most of your attractions kind of got left to the wayside. That being said, I love all of the ideas present here. With some polish this could make for a really amazing, probably superior, version of Galaxy’s Edge. Really great job, guys.
 

Lord Fozzinator

Well-Known Member
In the Parks
No
May I add a bit of context for the rancor animatronic. The reason why the rancor didn’t appear in the ride is because the ride itself took place on a different planet and also I just really wanted a rancor animatronic(I though it would be very cool)
 

PerGron

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Dark PerGron’s Reviews

First off, I would like to congratulate both teams on their successful completion of round two. This project was put in place to do the opposite of round one which was narrow your creativity down to a specific IP rather than let you all run free with it, and I’d say you both did so successfully.

The teamwork here on both teams was much better than round one, though I will say, there are some critiques I’ll be levying at some certain players. No names but I hope you’ll know I’m talking to you when it’s time.

With that said, I’m excited to get into these projects!

Team Lore

So Team Lore has a slight advantage this round over Team Legend being that they could select which land they wanted to work on. This wasn’t an advantage that Team Legend got (more on that later) so letting you all pick which land you wanted to focus on, I’m glad you could settle rather quickly, and I’m also very glad the two lands chosen were different. No Disney Adventures going on over here!

I’m very glad that you all decided to settle on just a few of the ideas you were throwing around. As much as I love a good Asgard land idea, I think cutting a few of the smaller pieces greatly benefitted your project as you already have so much here. Including two more sub lands or mini lands within this would’ve just been too much, so good job on restraint here. I won’t lie though, I would’ve appreciated more of a description of what the land would look like. Are these sub lands distinct? Is it more homogenous? A general overview would’ve benefited you all.

To continue on that train of thought, Stark Boulevard contains three attractions yet no description of what it is visually. I think even just a paragraph or two here would have sufficed, but c’est la vie.

So with that, we jump into Marvel vs. Capcom Epic Stunt-tacular. First and foremost, a very very minor critique and I’m sure it was just an oversight from whoever edited the site, but the title reads Capcom v. Marvel while the body of the text reads Marvel v. Capcom. I know it’s really really minute, but when things like this get overlooked, it just feels a little bit sloppy. One of those just take a moment to double check sort of things. It won’t lose you the round or anything, but just something to keep your eyes out for.

As for the body of the show, I’m no video game fan. Famously, I’ve played like ten games ever and half of those are zoo building simulators, so I’m not the target audience for this and I’m going to respect that going in. Not everything is made for me and that’s alright. That being said, this was a lot to get through and with a very minimal knowledge of what any of this is, I was struggling getting through it.

Now I wrote a Smash Bros stunt show a few games ago so I totally get how hard it is to write a stunt show, but this felt like a lot of “and then…” storytelling with words and characters I have minimal context for. Some visual aids would have been phenomenal because this had me googling every third word to try to gain some image in my head of what is going on. If you’re going to include such a large cast of characters, I would include a roster image of who we’re talking about for better context.

There other critique I’ll give you is to simplify and focus off show and not tell. Now writing down a (presumably) long show is tricky and I don’t fault you all for it, but going forward, one thing I’d say is we don’t need every individual action or line of dialogue. If you want to include a script and have the time for it, go for it, it can only help you, but if you’re just providing what the show is, I feel like focusing it up and tightening the writing really would have benefited this write up. Focus less on what each individual character is doing in every moment of the show and more on broad strokes events and important key moments. Including a sentence to something of the effect of “X characters are fighting so and so as pyrotechnics go off around them…” to keep the story moving rather than the extreme detail of what you’ve written would just make for an easier read.

One final note about this show before I move on (I really don’t mean to dogpile here, just offering advice) but this show definitely felt the most disconnected from the land. Now, it definitely fit into the land far better than the anime alien encounter from the previous project, but including the Capcom characters here was sort of a strange addition when I don’t think most people visiting the land would be all that familiar with the characters or game itself. This felt like another passion project that someone wanted in the prompt more than an idea that really gelled with the land as a whole. I get the TVA stuff, but not enough was done with it to really make sense. Why do Ryu and Cap know each other immediately? There's no real connection to why these characters are interacting in this space so it just leaves the viewer a bit confused, especially where the rest of the land is dedicated solely to the MCU and no other tie-ins. I’d maybe have stuck to the MCU of it all, seeing as though it’s maybe the most successful franchise of the modern day, but that’s alright.

That said, the detail here was phenomenal when it was describing the scenery. The theater descriptions and decorations were great, so very good job on all that!

Moving on to the TVA TimeRacer, I was intrigued by the concept of a TVA coaster and I have to say: you knocked this one out of the park thematically. I’m absolutely not a coaster person, I think they’re fine generally and Disney doesn’t have any outrageously rough ones, but they’re not the rides I really look forward to on a trip. That being said, a good themed coaster is something I’m a big sucker for. My personal favorite is Manta at SeaWorld, not because I enjoy the ride, but because I love how it mimics the movements of real life manta rays, I think that’s fascinating. Here, you’ve done a similar thing in taking a standard idea of coasters going through tunnels and turning it into a thematic element with the charges and transitioning scenes. I thought that was really creative!

As for the story itself, I think it’s a great way to do a time travel multiverse-hopping romp. The TVA makes sense for the land you’ve established, and if there were to be a multiverse-hopping menace, it would be Wade Wilson, so very inspired choice here. I also liked the show scenes featured here and liked how you didn’t just select the most obvious picks for this. To me, you utilized the theme of the TVA, the character of Deadpool, and the ride system of a coaster very well. My one critique here would be the show scenes had me a little confused what we were seeing. Are they physical sets? Projections on a screen? I know there was some addressing of that and maybe I just missed it, but a little more clarification would be nice going forward!

The Wakanda Outreach Center was an interesting experience that started with the attraction’s name. Is the name Wakanda Outreach Center? That feels like the name of the in-universe show building, but maybe not an attraction? I know if I saw that name on a map I’d probably be expecting some sort of walkthrough experience over a simulator. That being said, I think the theater system is unique and inspired as a choice for this ride as it really isn’t used outside of the one Nemo attraction, so well played on that!

For the material here, I’ve got a few nitpicks, mainly in that the story feels somewhat lacking, like we’ve got act one and act two but act three just isn’t present. You had an interesting idea with Kobik as the ride’s villain or obstacle but shifting to Klaue (a character who was killed in 2018) felt strange and unnecessary. I would’ve preferred a focus on the one character over the little baton switch going on. On a similar note to Klaue, we all know of the unfortunate passing of Chadwick Boseman and I just kept wondering how Black Panther was done here. Was he recast? Was it archival voiceover with a body double? Is the Black Panther actually Shuri’s Black Panther? It’s minor nitpicky stuff, but it definitely builds up.

My final critique is less a critique on this attraction and more on Team communication. This is the second attraction (the other being the stunt show) to have a major focus on Captain America. I know it’s probably not that big of a deal, and we do have a Spidey attraction as well, but with such a major property full of amazing characters, I would’ve liked to see maybe a different lead for one of these attractions.

Heading over to Xandar, I once again have to question what the area looks like since there isn’t any land design elements. I also think that while you all obviously had a story in mind, as referenced by the upcoming attraction, but that wasn’t super well communicated either. I think having one person dedicated to the presentation and the story/land design would’ve really benefited your project.

However, with all that being said, Guardians of the Galaxy: Xandar Rescue really was the rescue of this project for me. While I enjoyed the other attractions, I had my critiques of them, but here, I thought this ride was as flawless an idea as could’ve been done. It captures the story of your land effectively and efficiently, it explains why you’re on the journey you’re on, it captures the humor that is present throughout the GotG franchise, and it lovingly celebrates Disney through tongue-and-cheek references. I’ve still not gotten the opportunity to ride either of the Guardians attractions on either coast, but from what I’ve seen of ride throughs, this ride captures the same energy as the others and I would absolutely love to get on it. My single and only critique here is super minor but, I would’ve loved a playlist for what songs are available here ala Cosmic Rewind and Mission Breakout. Music is so integral to GotG and seeing a playlist would’ve solidified this.

Heading to Vibranium Valley, I’ve got to wonder why this is home to Spider-Man and not Black Panther? But that’s whatever. At risk of sounding like a broken record, I would’ve loved some land description here.

Jumping in to Spider-Man: Swing and Sway I share @JokersWild ’s question of how and why the Sanctum Sanctorum is here in California or if we were transported to NYC. Either way, this ride was a really unique idea and a great way to include Spider-Man in an attraction that isn’t as lackluster looking as the Web-Slingers ride. Using that tech and game for the queue was absolutely brilliant as well!

The four different storylines was also a pretty cool following the three different Spider-Men, though I’ve got to wonder, with it being (presumably) randomized, how long until people demand only the story with all three Spideys? I feel like all the Disney Facebook groups would do would complain “I’ve been on this ride 100 times and only got the Andrew Garfield one” sort of how they do with the music in Cosmic Rewind. Not necessarily a huge issue, but maybe including all 3 spideys in each version with a different villain would’ve been an improvement on this. That’s really my only critique though, the ride system and ride through (though maybe a little bit undercooked) were all done well and I would love to get on this ride!

Food here is good, I appreciate the menu for sure and think all the offerings would be great to fill out the land. Unfortunately I don’t have a whole lot to say on restaurants as per usual, but good job. Shopping seems to have been handled in ridethroughs and we never comment on shopping, but I do think compiling it all alongside dining would’ve made your project a little more finished.

Overall, a very respectable effort from Team Lore. A few tips going forward would be try to make sure land descriptions are present even if it’s just a few sentences for placemaking. Also, work together to make sure everything flows cohesively. This team had the leg up of being a lot of seasoned veterans, but still fell into the same traps as last round to some extent. Passion projects are great, but make sure everything flows together. Great job Team Lore!


Team Legend

Ah Team Legend, you guys are an interesting squad of people to follow during brainstorming. Some very stubborn and headstrong players here who really like to bulldoze their way through projects and I can definitely appreciate that being one of those players myself. I’m known for getting an idea and bulldozing it through solely on my own passion and love for it, so know this criticism isn’t without its ironies. You guys are full of strong personalities and passionate individuals and I think that’s great.

On the adverse of that, as I said in the brainstorming thread a few days ago, don’t be afraid to breathe. Rushing around at Mach 7 is great for last minute crunching, but when you have time ahead of you, take time to develop your ideas more thoroughly. This project had people designing rides before a location or timeline was even selected. Take a deep breath and enjoy the brainstorming process instead of ramming ideas through. If you’re really passionate about an idea, offer up why it would be good instead of saying “let’s do this” and pushing through. It’ll cause teamwork to be stronger and will foster better projects.

Now, jumping into the land, you all were offered a unique challenge due to external forces beyond our control. We here at the Manor of Mysteries are still working to figure out why, but your team was not able to select a land but rather forced to do Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge. You were also forced to include the Galactic Starcruiser, an extra challenge that even I would hate to take on. With all that, did you guys succeed? Did you fail? Because as we all know, Do, or do not, there is no try.

First off, I wanted to comment on the land. Team Lore made the (in my opinion) correct decision to change their land from Avengers Campus but you guys took the opposite, equally correct option of keeping the land Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge. I don’t know if I’m in the minority with this, but I love that name and think it could easily fit any theme you all went with.

The theme you went with, by the way, was a unique choice that I’m not 100% sure I’m sold on. A jungle-style planet with lots of elements from Batuu but equal elements from Pandora while simultaneously taking up the same niche as the already canon planet Felucia, it was just maybe not as original as pitched initially. If this were in Disneyland serving as a counter to Pandora: the World of Avatar, I think it would’ve fit better, but I still have myself scratching my head wondering how all this doesn’t overlap with that land. Plus the mere existence of Felucia as a bioluminescent jungle planet that has a strong connection to the force renders this land a bit redundant. But I won’t let that bit of Star Wars geekiness on my end hurt you all too much, just something worth pointing out. That said, with the elements you threw in story wise, I did like the setting a lot.

I’m gonna echo @JokersWild ‘s sentiments about AI art (I was writing this when they put up their review, I promise I’m not just copying haha). AI art is a tricky because I absolutely see its value for projects like this where having a free efficient way to convey your ideas in seconds makes sense. But on the same side, I love the good ol classic art and don’t want to see AI art become a crutch or overused in place of that if that makes sense. Still, using it for grand concepts I have no major qualms with, just be careful.

Jumping into the attractions, we start with Star Wars Speed Bike Runners. The idea of a speeder bike themed coaster is definitely not an original idea, I think 99% of Star Wars land designs include one, but I can’t say it’s a common idea without merit. Speeder bikes are iconic in the Star Wars universe, especially with that Endor chase in Return of the Jedi and I know I want to ride one. Including speeder bikes in a Jedi-themed attraction, however, is an idea I definitely thought was pretty unique.

I think my favorite two elements of Star Wars are the mystical side of the force, and the boots on the ground rebellion featured in Andor and less so in Rogue One and Rebels. I love these elements and I think both could easily translate into compelling attractions. I’ve done my fair share of Jedi-Force themed attractions for competitions that I’m very partial to, and I think this idea starts really well. Traveling through an ancient Jedi temple and observing artifacts makes a ton of sense. My issue here is, I suppose, a timeline issue. Now if your land is set outside of canon, absolutely no problem, but where it wasn’t specified in the project, it left me with a few questions.
  1. What sith are after you? With the destruction of the second Death Star and death of Palpatine and Vader, the Sith are destroyed (until Exogol, but we can all pretend that didn’t happen). If Sabine is a Jedi traveling with Ahsoka, that sets us well after those events, so who are the Sith in the attraction? Are they Sith followers like on exogol? Are they like Baylan and Shin from the show? Are they new? I wish there was a little bit of elaboration here.​
  2. I’m gonna say this with all the love I can muster as I adored the actress and her portrayal in the show but, why Sabine? Her and Ahsoka are in the new galaxy (spoilers?) and she’s not necessarily the most familiar face. I could see Ahsoka leading the ride, but all I could think the entire time I was reading was: why not Luke? If you’re going to set your land somewhat post RotJ and include a Jedi temple exploration ride, I have to wonder why Luke Skywalker wasn’t in it. I feel like Luke absolutely belongs in this ride and it would give the ride so much more of a drive to visit it over Sabine and Ahsoka. The lack of Luke is one thing that is famously hurting the current land, so including him here would’ve been a goldmine.​

Regardless though, those are more worldbuilding critiques than ride critiques. I think the ride system, while maybe a bit unnecessary, would be fun and I absolutely think this ride would be a huge hit. Great job!

Moving on to Star Wars: Black Squadron, I think you guys absolutely almost had it. You were so close. One could even say

IMG_6922.gif


An X-wing simulator would absolutely fill the niche left behind by the Millennium Falcon ride and I do think a battle where you get to pilot an X-wing would be super popular, I know I’d be wanting it. What I miss from this is detail. I’m not sure who did this attraction, but we got a detailed dogfight simulator last round. I think this would be a much better use of that detail. Tell us what we see while in the x-wing. What does the battle look like? How engaging is it? Are we actually in control or is it programmed more like a traditional ride? Stuff like this was really missing. I also think you all missed an opportunity to solve a big issue with Smuggler’s Run being that there is only one mission that gets tedious upon reriding the attraction. I think this ride should’ve included multiple randomized missions to other planets or whatnot to add variety. Otherwise, this is just a 1:1 recreation of an existing attraction except you’re piloting a less interesting vehicle.

Moving on to Star Wars: A Mandalorian Adventure, my first critique comes out right away and that’s the name of the attraction. To me, this doesn’t feel fantastical or whimsical, it kind of feels like the title to one of those learn-to-read children’s books. Titles and names of things can be difficult, but I think something important is getting that vibe correct with those attraction names. Rise of the Resistance is a great name where maybe The Resistance Attacks isn’t. The two are both saying the same thing, but with a more fantastical tone to the better one. Just some food for thought.

Experience-wise, this is easily my favorite attraction concept through either of the projects. A bounty hunter ride would be huge for Galaxy’s Edge and implementing Hutts and other familiar species are great additions to the land as well. My issue here once again has to do with detail. While it definitely has more than black squadron did, the detail here is still finite for what could easily be your main E-ticket for the land. Some advice going forward is to take your time, you don’t have to have a finished ride the day you claimed it. Take some time to stew on it and fine-tune your concept and you could’ve had the winning piece of the project.

My other critique here is that you kill the X-wings. I know bounty hunters are neutral at best and potentially evil at worst, especially with the likes of IG-88, Bossk, Cad Bane, etc. but even still, this is a Disney park and the rebels are the heroes. I think having the riders take out imperials to claim their bounty makes sense, but shooting down the good guys just rubs me the long way. Maybe use the X-wing arrival as an escape point to avoid them, but not shoot them down?

I would absolutely love to see an animatronic hutt and rancor and that part of this makes a ton of sense, though I agree that a protocol droid to translate would’ve added some realism. Unless you’re going with a basic speaking Hutt like Ziro *shudders*. The Mando costume is also unnecessary, just have him on a screen or something. But I won’t really knock you for that part.

Heading on to your entertainment, I have to applaud both teams for taking @mickeyfan5534 advice and adding entertainment as a major fixture. I think Secrets of the Past Stage Show would be a really interesting way to tie in characters who otherwise wouldn’t be present in the land. Seeing Dooku and Obi-Wan on stage would be really exciting as would all the major battles. I just have to critique though, once again, just a little more detail would have been awesome here. Some sort of framing device for why we are seeing this. I could see a Yoda force ghost bringing in “padawans” to learn from the past, showcasing the duels and explaining what it means to be a Jedi? Some form of framing device would go a long way because for right now, I have the same criticism as I did Marvel v Capcom with the “and then” storytelling approach. Something like that would’ve really added a lot here, but still a show I would make a conscious effort to go see.

Legends of the Force. I’m going to just be blunt here with you all. If this project wins over the other, this is why for me. This is everything I wanted from a Star Wars land when it came to interactivity. The thoughtfulness behind this game system was clearly a passion project gone right, one that fit in perfectly with the land and enhances it rather than dragging it down. Bringing about the Evermore Park style to Galaxy’s Edge would be amazing and it’s all I really ever wanted from this land. I want to commend you for doing this as I found it exhilarating!

As for shopping and dining, I think it’s all effective, but the reason I think that is I know it’s all effective. Because it all exists at Galaxy’s Edge. Yeeeah, I get what you guys were going for here, but the idea of a cantina is a little tired and some of the stuff from real life GE just doesn’t fit the idea you all went with. I would’ve loved to see new and original takes on dining and shopping. I know we don’t often mention it in the reviews, but if you give us something worth mentioning rather than leaving it as an afterthought, it’s going to be worthwhile, I promise.

Finally, we reach The Galactic Starport, a very original take on the late Galactic Starcruiser. Tossing this in was one of those malevolent force’s challenges as I can’t imagine either team would’ve done the starcruiser by their own volition, but I can’t lie, I’m glad those forces chose this. I think y’all were able to effectively change up the way this doomed hotel worked and make it something a little bit more efficient and reasonable. Doesn’t seem to have any nightly minimums, it’s not about the LARPing as that got moved to the land proper, and it’s seemingly just a normal luxury hotel with extra benefits. Great job here!

In the end, you guys fell into some of the same pitfalls as the teams did last round, but that’s okay. I saw a very quick improvement from all players and I’m excited to see how you guys go forward into the next couple rounds. I don’t know which team will win, but you should all be very proud of what you accomplished.

The next round is one I’m really excited for, so once all reviews are in and a winner is selected, we will premiere the next prompt! Stay tuned​
 

Lord Fozzinator

Well-Known Member
In the Parks
No
Dark PerGron’s Reviews

First off, I would like to congratulate both teams on their successful completion of round two. This project was put in place to do the opposite of round one which was narrow your creativity down to a specific IP rather than let you all run free with it, and I’d say you both did so successfully.

The teamwork here on both teams was much better than round one, though I will say, there are some critiques I’ll be levying at some certain players. No names but I hope you’ll know I’m talking to you when it’s time.

With that said, I’m excited to get into these projects!

Team Lore

So Team Lore has a slight advantage this round over Team Legend being that they could select which land they wanted to work on. This wasn’t an advantage that Team Legend got (more on that later) so letting you all pick which land you wanted to focus on, I’m glad you could settle rather quickly, and I’m also very glad the two lands chosen were different. No Disney Adventures going on over here!

I’m very glad that you all decided to settle on just a few of the ideas you were throwing around. As much as I love a good Asgard land idea, I think cutting a few of the smaller pieces greatly benefitted your project as you already have so much here. Including two more sub lands or mini lands within this would’ve just been too much, so good job on restraint here. I won’t lie though, I would’ve appreciated more of a description of what the land would look like. Are these sub lands distinct? Is it more homogenous? A general overview would’ve benefited you all.

To continue on that train of thought, Stark Boulevard contains three attractions yet no description of what it is visually. I think even just a paragraph or two here would have sufficed, but c’est la vie.

So with that, we jump into Marvel vs. Capcom Epic Stunt-tacular. First and foremost, a very very minor critique and I’m sure it was just an oversight from whoever edited the site, but the title reads Capcom v. Marvel while the body of the text reads Marvel v. Capcom. I know it’s really really minute, but when things like this get overlooked, it just feels a little bit sloppy. One of those just take a moment to double check sort of things. It won’t lose you the round or anything, but just something to keep your eyes out for.

As for the body of the show, I’m no video game fan. Famously, I’ve played like ten games ever and half of those are zoo building simulators, so I’m not the target audience for this and I’m going to respect that going in. Not everything is made for me and that’s alright. That being said, this was a lot to get through and with a very minimal knowledge of what any of this is, I was struggling getting through it.

Now I wrote a Smash Bros stunt show a few games ago so I totally get how hard it is to write a stunt show, but this felt like a lot of “and then…” storytelling with words and characters I have minimal context for. Some visual aids would have been phenomenal because this had me googling every third word to try to gain some image in my head of what is going on. If you’re going to include such a large cast of characters, I would include a roster image of who we’re talking about for better context.

There other critique I’ll give you is to simplify and focus off show and not tell. Now writing down a (presumably) long show is tricky and I don’t fault you all for it, but going forward, one thing I’d say is we don’t need every individual action or line of dialogue. If you want to include a script and have the time for it, go for it, it can only help you, but if you’re just providing what the show is, I feel like focusing it up and tightening the writing really would have benefited this write up. Focus less on what each individual character is doing in every moment of the show and more on broad strokes events and important key moments. Including a sentence to something of the effect of “X characters are fighting so and so as pyrotechnics go off around them…” to keep the story moving rather than the extreme detail of what you’ve written would just make for an easier read.

One final note about this show before I move on (I really don’t mean to dogpile here, just offering advice) but this show definitely felt the most disconnected from the land. Now, it definitely fit into the land far better than the anime alien encounter from the previous project, but including the Capcom characters here was sort of a strange addition when I don’t think most people visiting the land would be all that familiar with the characters or game itself. This felt like another passion project that someone wanted in the prompt more than an idea that really gelled with the land as a whole. I get the TVA stuff, but not enough was done with it to really make sense. Why do Ryu and Cap know each other immediately? There's no real connection to why these characters are interacting in this space so it just leaves the viewer a bit confused, especially where the rest of the land is dedicated solely to the MCU and no other tie-ins. I’d maybe have stuck to the MCU of it all, seeing as though it’s maybe the most successful franchise of the modern day, but that’s alright.

That said, the detail here was phenomenal when it was describing the scenery. The theater descriptions and decorations were great, so very good job on all that!

Moving on to the TVA TimeRacer, I was intrigued by the concept of a TVA coaster and I have to say: you knocked this one out of the park thematically. I’m absolutely not a coaster person, I think they’re fine generally and Disney doesn’t have any outrageously rough ones, but they’re not the rides I really look forward to on a trip. That being said, a good themed coaster is something I’m a big sucker for. My personal favorite is Manta at SeaWorld, not because I enjoy the ride, but because I love how it mimics the movements of real life manta rays, I think that’s fascinating. Here, you’ve done a similar thing in taking a standard idea of coasters going through tunnels and turning it into a thematic element with the charges and transitioning scenes. I thought that was really creative!

As for the story itself, I think it’s a great way to do a time travel multiverse-hopping romp. The TVA makes sense for the land you’ve established, and if there were to be a multiverse-hopping menace, it would be Wade Wilson, so very inspired choice here. I also liked the show scenes featured here and liked how you didn’t just select the most obvious picks for this. To me, you utilized the theme of the TVA, the character of Deadpool, and the ride system of a coaster very well. My one critique here would be the show scenes had me a little confused what we were seeing. Are they physical sets? Projections on a screen? I know there was some addressing of that and maybe I just missed it, but a little more clarification would be nice going forward!

The Wakanda Outreach Center was an interesting experience that started with the attraction’s name. Is the name Wakanda Outreach Center? That feels like the name of the in-universe show building, but maybe not an attraction? I know if I saw that name on a map I’d probably be expecting some sort of walkthrough experience over a simulator. That being said, I think the theater system is unique and inspired as a choice for this ride as it really isn’t used outside of the one Nemo attraction, so well played on that!

For the material here, I’ve got a few nitpicks, mainly in that the story feels somewhat lacking, like we’ve got act one and act two but act three just isn’t present. You had an interesting idea with Kobik as the ride’s villain or obstacle but shifting to Klaue (a character who was killed in 2018) felt strange and unnecessary. I would’ve preferred a focus on the one character over the little baton switch going on. On a similar note to Klaue, we all know of the unfortunate passing of Chadwick Boseman and I just kept wondering how Black Panther was done here. Was he recast? Was it archival voiceover with a body double? Is the Black Panther actually Shuri’s Black Panther? It’s minor nitpicky stuff, but it definitely builds up.

My final critique is less a critique on this attraction and more on Team communication. This is the second attraction (the other being the stunt show) to have a major focus on Captain America. I know it’s probably not that big of a deal, and we do have a Spidey attraction as well, but with such a major property full of amazing characters, I would’ve liked to see maybe a different lead for one of these attractions.

Heading over to Xandar, I once again have to question what the area looks like since there isn’t any land design elements. I also think that while you all obviously had a story in mind, as referenced by the upcoming attraction, but that wasn’t super well communicated either. I think having one person dedicated to the presentation and the story/land design would’ve really benefited your project.

However, with all that being said, Guardians of the Galaxy: Xandar Rescue really was the rescue of this project for me. While I enjoyed the other attractions, I had my critiques of them, but here, I thought this ride was as flawless an idea as could’ve been done. It captures the story of your land effectively and efficiently, it explains why you’re on the journey you’re on, it captures the humor that is present throughout the GotG franchise, and it lovingly celebrates Disney through tongue-and-cheek references. I’ve still not gotten the opportunity to ride either of the Guardians attractions on either coast, but from what I’ve seen of ride throughs, this ride captures the same energy as the others and I would absolutely love to get on it. My single and only critique here is super minor but, I would’ve loved a playlist for what songs are available here ala Cosmic Rewind and Mission Breakout. Music is so integral to GotG and seeing a playlist would’ve solidified this.

Heading to Vibranium Valley, I’ve got to wonder why this is home to Spider-Man and not Black Panther? But that’s whatever. At risk of sounding like a broken record, I would’ve loved some land description here.

Jumping in to Spider-Man: Swing and Sway I share @JokersWild ’s question of how and why the Sanctum Sanctorum is here in California or if we were transported to NYC. Either way, this ride was a really unique idea and a great way to include Spider-Man in an attraction that isn’t as lackluster looking as the Web-Slingers ride. Using that tech and game for the queue was absolutely brilliant as well!

The four different storylines was also a pretty cool following the three different Spider-Men, though I’ve got to wonder, with it being (presumably) randomized, how long until people demand only the story with all three Spideys? I feel like all the Disney Facebook groups would do would complain “I’ve been on this ride 100 times and only got the Andrew Garfield one” sort of how they do with the music in Cosmic Rewind. Not necessarily a huge issue, but maybe including all 3 spideys in each version with a different villain would’ve been an improvement on this. That’s really my only critique though, the ride system and ride through (though maybe a little bit undercooked) were all done well and I would love to get on this ride!

Food here is good, I appreciate the menu for sure and think all the offerings would be great to fill out the land. Unfortunately I don’t have a whole lot to say on restaurants as per usual, but good job. Shopping seems to have been handled in ridethroughs and we never comment on shopping, but I do think compiling it all alongside dining would’ve made your project a little more finished.

Overall, a very respectable effort from Team Lore. A few tips going forward would be try to make sure land descriptions are present even if it’s just a few sentences for placemaking. Also, work together to make sure everything flows cohesively. This team had the leg up of being a lot of seasoned veterans, but still fell into the same traps as last round to some extent. Passion projects are great, but make sure everything flows together. Great job Team Lore!


Team Legend

Ah Team Legend, you guys are an interesting squad of people to follow during brainstorming. Some very stubborn and headstrong players here who really like to bulldoze their way through projects and I can definitely appreciate that being one of those players myself. I’m known for getting an idea and bulldozing it through solely on my own passion and love for it, so know this criticism isn’t without its ironies. You guys are full of strong personalities and passionate individuals and I think that’s great.

On the adverse of that, as I said in the brainstorming thread a few days ago, don’t be afraid to breathe. Rushing around at Mach 7 is great for last minute crunching, but when you have time ahead of you, take time to develop your ideas more thoroughly. This project had people designing rides before a location or timeline was even selected. Take a deep breath and enjoy the brainstorming process instead of ramming ideas through. If you’re really passionate about an idea, offer up why it would be good instead of saying “let’s do this” and pushing through. It’ll cause teamwork to be stronger and will foster better projects.

Now, jumping into the land, you all were offered a unique challenge due to external forces beyond our control. We here at the Manor of Mysteries are still working to figure out why, but your team was not able to select a land but rather forced to do Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge. You were also forced to include the Galactic Starcruiser, an extra challenge that even I would hate to take on. With all that, did you guys succeed? Did you fail? Because as we all know, Do, or do not, there is no try.

First off, I wanted to comment on the land. Team Lore made the (in my opinion) correct decision to change their land from Avengers Campus but you guys took the opposite, equally correct option of keeping the land Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge. I don’t know if I’m in the minority with this, but I love that name and think it could easily fit any theme you all went with.

The theme you went with, by the way, was a unique choice that I’m not 100% sure I’m sold on. A jungle-style planet with lots of elements from Batuu but equal elements from Pandora while simultaneously taking up the same niche as the already canon planet Felucia, it was just maybe not as original as pitched initially. If this were in Disneyland serving as a counter to Pandora: the World of Avatar, I think it would’ve fit better, but I still have myself scratching my head wondering how all this doesn’t overlap with that land. Plus the mere existence of Felucia as a bioluminescent jungle planet that has a strong connection to the force renders this land a bit redundant. But I won’t let that bit of Star Wars geekiness on my end hurt you all too much, just something worth pointing out. That said, with the elements you threw in story wise, I did like the setting a lot.

I’m gonna echo @JokersWild ‘s sentiments about AI art (I was writing this when they put up their review, I promise I’m not just copying haha). AI art is a tricky because I absolutely see its value for projects like this where having a free efficient way to convey your ideas in seconds makes sense. But on the same side, I love the good ol classic art and don’t want to see AI art become a crutch or overused in place of that if that makes sense. Still, using it for grand concepts I have no major qualms with, just be careful.

Jumping into the attractions, we start with Star Wars Speed Bike Runners. The idea of a speeder bike themed coaster is definitely not an original idea, I think 99% of Star Wars land designs include one, but I can’t say it’s a common idea without merit. Speeder bikes are iconic in the Star Wars universe, especially with that Endor chase in Return of the Jedi and I know I want to ride one. Including speeder bikes in a Jedi-themed attraction, however, is an idea I definitely thought was pretty unique.

I think my favorite two elements of Star Wars are the mystical side of the force, and the boots on the ground rebellion featured in Andor and less so in Rogue One and Rebels. I love these elements and I think both could easily translate into compelling attractions. I’ve done my fair share of Jedi-Force themed attractions for competitions that I’m very partial to, and I think this idea starts really well. Traveling through an ancient Jedi temple and observing artifacts makes a ton of sense. My issue here is, I suppose, a timeline issue. Now if your land is set outside of canon, absolutely no problem, but where it wasn’t specified in the project, it left me with a few questions.
  1. What sith are after you? With the destruction of the second Death Star and death of Palpatine and Vader, the Sith are destroyed (until Exogol, but we can all pretend that didn’t happen). If Sabine is a Jedi traveling with Ahsoka, that sets us well after those events, so who are the Sith in the attraction? Are they Sith followers like on exogol? Are they like Baylan and Shin from the show? Are they new? I wish there was a little bit of elaboration here.​
  2. I’m gonna say this with all the love I can muster as I adored the actress and her portrayal in the show but, why Sabine? Her and Ahsoka are in the new galaxy (spoilers?) and she’s not necessarily the most familiar face. I could see Ahsoka leading the ride, but all I could think the entire time I was reading was: why not Luke? If you’re going to set your land somewhat post RotJ and include a Jedi temple exploration ride, I have to wonder why Luke Skywalker wasn’t in it. I feel like Luke absolutely belongs in this ride and it would give the ride so much more of a drive to visit it over Sabine and Ahsoka. The lack of Luke is one thing that is famously hurting the current land, so including him here would’ve been a goldmine.​

Regardless though, those are more worldbuilding critiques than ride critiques. I think the ride system, while maybe a bit unnecessary, would be fun and I absolutely think this ride would be a huge hit. Great job!

Moving on to Star Wars: Black Squadron, I think you guys absolutely almost had it. You were so close. One could even say

View attachment 751036

An X-wing simulator would absolutely fill the niche left behind by the Millennium Falcon ride and I do think a battle where you get to pilot an X-wing would be super popular, I know I’d be wanting it. What I miss from this is detail. I’m not sure who did this attraction, but we got a detailed dogfight simulator last round. I think this would be a much better use of that detail. Tell us what we see while in the x-wing. What does the battle look like? How engaging is it? Are we actually in control or is it programmed more like a traditional ride? Stuff like this was really missing. I also think you all missed an opportunity to solve a big issue with Smuggler’s Run being that there is only one mission that gets tedious upon reriding the attraction. I think this ride should’ve included multiple randomized missions to other planets or whatnot to add variety. Otherwise, this is just a 1:1 recreation of an existing attraction except you’re piloting a less interesting vehicle.

Moving on to Star Wars: A Mandalorian Adventure, my first critique comes out right away and that’s the name of the attraction. To me, this doesn’t feel fantastical or whimsical, it kind of feels like the title to one of those learn-to-read children’s books. Titles and names of things can be difficult, but I think something important is getting that vibe correct with those attraction names. Rise of the Resistance is a great name where maybe The Resistance Attacks isn’t. The two are both saying the same thing, but with a more fantastical tone to the better one. Just some food for thought.

Experience-wise, this is easily my favorite attraction concept through either of the projects. A bounty hunter ride would be huge for Galaxy’s Edge and implementing Hutts and other familiar species are great additions to the land as well. My issue here once again has to do with detail. While it definitely has more than black squadron did, the detail here is still finite for what could easily be your main E-ticket for the land. Some advice going forward is to take your time, you don’t have to have a finished ride the day you claimed it. Take some time to stew on it and fine-tune your concept and you could’ve had the winning piece of the project.

My other critique here is that you kill the X-wings. I know bounty hunters are neutral at best and potentially evil at worst, especially with the likes of IG-88, Bossk, Cad Bane, etc. but even still, this is a Disney park and the rebels are the heroes. I think having the riders take out imperials to claim their bounty makes sense, but shooting down the good guys just rubs me the long way. Maybe use the X-wing arrival as an escape point to avoid them, but not shoot them down?

I would absolutely love to see an animatronic hutt and rancor and that part of this makes a ton of sense, though I agree that a protocol droid to translate would’ve added some realism. Unless you’re going with a basic speaking Hutt like Ziro *shudders*. The Mando costume is also unnecessary, just have him on a screen or something. But I won’t really knock you for that part.

Heading on to your entertainment, I have to applaud both teams for taking @mickeyfan5534 advice and adding entertainment as a major fixture. I think Secrets of the Past Stage Show would be a really interesting way to tie in characters who otherwise wouldn’t be present in the land. Seeing Dooku and Obi-Wan on stage would be really exciting as would all the major battles. I just have to critique though, once again, just a little more detail would have been awesome here. Some sort of framing device for why we are seeing this. I could see a Yoda force ghost bringing in “padawans” to learn from the past, showcasing the duels and explaining what it means to be a Jedi? Some form of framing device would go a long way because for right now, I have the same criticism as I did Marvel v Capcom with the “and then” storytelling approach. Something like that would’ve really added a lot here, but still a show I would make a conscious effort to go see.

Legends of the Force. I’m going to just be blunt here with you all. If this project wins over the other, this is why for me. This is everything I wanted from a Star Wars land when it came to interactivity. The thoughtfulness behind this game system was clearly a passion project gone right, one that fit in perfectly with the land and enhances it rather than dragging it down. Bringing about the Evermore Park style to Galaxy’s Edge would be amazing and it’s all I really ever wanted from this land. I want to commend you for doing this as I found it exhilarating!

As for shopping and dining, I think it’s all effective, but the reason I think that is I know it’s all effective. Because it all exists at Galaxy’s Edge. Yeeeah, I get what you guys were going for here, but the idea of a cantina is a little tired and some of the stuff from real life GE just doesn’t fit the idea you all went with. I would’ve loved to see new and original takes on dining and shopping. I know we don’t often mention it in the reviews, but if you give us something worth mentioning rather than leaving it as an afterthought, it’s going to be worthwhile, I promise.

Finally, we reach The Galactic Starport, a very original take on the late Galactic Starcruiser. Tossing this in was one of those malevolent force’s challenges as I can’t imagine either team would’ve done the starcruiser by their own volition, but I can’t lie, I’m glad those forces chose this. I think y’all were able to effectively change up the way this doomed hotel worked and make it something a little bit more efficient and reasonable. Doesn’t seem to have any nightly minimums, it’s not about the LARPing as that got moved to the land proper, and it’s seemingly just a normal luxury hotel with extra benefits. Great job here!

In the end, you guys fell into some of the same pitfalls as the teams did last round, but that’s okay. I saw a very quick improvement from all players and I’m excited to see how you guys go forward into the next couple rounds. I don’t know which team will win, but you should all be very proud of what you accomplished.

The next round is one I’m really excited for, so once all reviews are in and a winner is selected, we will premiere the next prompt! Stay tuned​
Ha my attraction turned out to be the favorite(not that I am bragging). I do admit I’m not very original with names and I should probably spend some more time with putting the actual attraction together. Also I saw that reference to Fly Inside. Either way take that team lore. Also WHAT, team lore picked avengers campus.
 
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Disney Warrior

Well-Known Member
I’m not going to write a full review because I’m exhausted and I’m not a Star Wars fan but Team Legend, you guys did a great job. I like the art and the concepts and the new planet, though more original non-attractions would be nice (I don’t want to repeat what the others said)
 

mickeyfan5534

Well-Known Member
Ok teams, here's the tea. I've been a busy boy and do not have much time to write full reviews so I am not going into anywhere near as much detail as I did last week.

I'm very pleased both teams decided to take my advice from last week about entertainment and atmosphere in the land. Both lands do genuinely feel alive because of this fact and it might be the bow that neatly ties up both lands.

Team Lore: You did the thing here, didn't you? It genuinely makes me wonder why Disney didn't go with this route. Marvel vs Capcom is an odd choice but... as odd as it is, it genuinely works. I love the fact that y'all are leaning into the multiverse of it all here. Just going wild and crazy and letting it feel like a comic book come to life. Good job

Team Legend: Y'all had the sabotage. And you took lemons and made lemonade out of it. What really shines here is not only the lack of a solid timeline but the explanation for WHY the lack of timeline. Everything here works and I LOVE the idea of really embracing the LARP of it all but not having to stick to it for guests that just want to come in, ride the rides, and leave.
I do briefly want to discuss the Starcruiser element. This was also something that I wanted to see and was kind of disappointed. That being said, I'm not going to hold what you made against you because there's a lot of confusion regarding what Starcruiser was vs the impression of what it was (alongside some very intimate knowledge of why the thing failed overall). Starcruiser was not a hotel. It was a piece of genuine immersive theatre. You spent two days doing the plot, interacting with characters, advancing stories, all of that. To see it reduced to a plain hotel, while understandable, is kind of upsetting but it's not a mark I can place against you because you did the thing and the thing is good.
 

Mr. Tux

Active Member
Regarding the use of AI art: I’m the one who commissioned the AI to produce it. I only use it when there is no suitable way for me to illustrate a concept without using the highly detailed work of an AI engine. Thank you all very much!
 

Mr. Tux

Active Member
Regarding the use of AI art: I’m the one who commissioned the AI to produce it. I only use it when there is no suitable way for me to illustrate a concept without using the highly detailed work of an AI engine. Thank you all very much!
And please, no ludditism please.
 

mickeyfan5534

Well-Known Member
I'm not one to call out the use of AI Art in this environment. However, I want to acknowledge the plagiarism inherent in AI training unless every piece used to train it is one that belongs to you. It's one that in these environments I don't have an issue with if the acknowledgment that it is made with Artificial Intelligence is made within the project. That is my peace.
 

Mr. Tux

Active Member
I'm not one to call out the use of AI Art in this environment. However, I want to acknowledge the plagiarism inherent in AI training unless every piece used to train it is one that belongs to you. It's one that in these environments I don't have an issue with if the acknowledgment that it is made with Artificial Intelligence is made within the project. That is my peace.
Ok, all in favor of using disclaimers when using AI, say I!
 

PerGron

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
A bell chimes across the campus of the Major of Mysteries, summoning the players from their day of recreation back to the parlor where the game began.

“I was enjoying some time at the pool. I’ve never seen a bottomless pool before, how does that even work?” questioned @Mr. Tux who walked in alongside a few other players.

“I don’t know, but this place kind of weirds me out. I mean, the mysterious dark forest that surrounds the place where it’s eternally nighttime and yellow glowing eyes peer at you at all times. No thank you” chimes in @Tegan pilots a chicken.

More and more players fill the room, discussing their time at the tennis courts, reading up in the library, or scaling the large Rock Wall. Soon enough, every player has entered the room and sit, murmuring amongst themselves, questioning who will win, what the next prompt is, and who the scary unblinking pale man standing in the corner.

“Uh, you guys see him too right?” questions @OSUPhantom

“Yeah, who is he?” Whispers @MonorailRed

“All questions that will be answered in due time” a voice cuts in through the air. Everyone turns quickly to see @Dark PerGron entering the room, taking his place in a chair. Two hooded figures follow behind, standing behind his chair, gazing out at the players, or, at least they seem to be. No actual defining features are visible.

The players look around, studying the strange man in the corner, the hooded figures, and the skeletal man in the chair.

“This place is weird weird” says @Miru

“You got that right, what did we even sign up for?” questions @ThemeParkPriest

“I’m very proud of this group” Dark PerGron interjects. “You have all completed two challenges quite brilliantly. I must admit, I wouldn’t normally be handling this business personally as I am quite a busy fellow, but upon reflection, I figure I shall engage with you all more often in our humble abode. For that reason, I bring about your long-awaited results. Do be gentle with it, the paper is ancient as priceless.”

With that, the lights cut out and darkness envelops the room. Some shrieks can be heard as players fumble around for a switch or candle or anything really. Just as suddenly as the lights cut out, they return, yet there is no sign of Dark PerGron nor his hooded accomplices, though the strange pale man remains in the corner, mouth agape and eyes unblinking.

In the table, two envelopes sit. One reads “results” and one reads “Challenge 3.”

“Let’s get to the challenge!” @Muppetsfan#1 exclaims, rushing for the envelope before @spacemt354 stops him.

“Results first” Space says, grabbing the envelope and opening it.

Inside the envelope is a gorgeous ornate piece of paper with ink reading off the results.

Results

Team Legend

While you all drastically improved both on your social game and on pitfalls from round one, unfortunately it was the lack of detail in many of your attractions that led to the judges wanting more out of it. There were some very strong elements here, but the short write-ups and minimal detail did you in.

Team Lore

Where Team Legend struggled is where Team Lore thrived. While the general land descriptions were lacking, the meat of the project shined through and made for a great project.

“Congrats to both teams and we look forward to the next prompt”

-D.P​
 

PerGron

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
“Alright, please, it’s time to start the next round!” @Muppetsfan#1 exclaims, tearing the second envelope from @spacemt354 ’s hand.

“Not so fast” says @TheOriginalTiki ”I’m still in San Diego, can’t this wait for me?”

“Nope!” @Miru replies, taking the envelope and tearing the top from it.

“Let me see!” Exclaims @Architectural Guinea Pig pushing in to get a good look at the prompt.

The faces all look on in confusion as the only thing on the piece of paper is a crudely drawn Jack-o-lantern

IMG_6927.jpeg


“Aww, it’s happy” says @Tegan pilots a chicken

“Happy for what? Our demise?” Questions @Chaos Cat

“Flip it over, there’s writing on the back” interjects @MonorailRed

The card is flipped over and on the back shows instructions.

“Turn and face the man who’s pale and he will guide the way. For if your team is to prevail, you must journey towards decay.”

With chills running down their spines, the team turns to the strange pale man in the corner. His mouth agape expression curls into a wicked smile as he reaches up for a chamberstick candle holder and pushes open a secret doorway behind the fireplace. He begins making his way down the stairway, deep into the recesses of the manor while the players remain silent and frozen.

“I ain’t following a creepy man down any stairs into any dungeons.” @AceAstro

“Well if we want the next prompt, we have to” says @OSUPhantom , grabbing a second candle and beginning down the stairs. The rest of the group follows in agreement, making their way into the next room.

No longer are we in the comfortable parlor. No, instead, we have entered the next room of our little manor:

549A6D73-8F07-446B-B358-30E8A54FC1E8.jpeg
 

PerGron

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
The Catacombs

As we leave the comfort and familiarity of The Parlor, our exciting experience here at the Manor of Mysteries plunges us deep into the bowels of the manor and into the catacombs. Here, the grim, dark, and macabre reign over us, and what a better spot to spend the few days leading up to Halloween?

Challenge 3: Create a completely blue sky boutique park dedicated to the spookiest night of the year; Halloween.
For this project, the teams are given free rein over what they put into their park. Any and all IP is free-reign, from Disney to universal to blumhouse to anything else Halloweeny you want to include. You’re also more than welcome to use any and all original non-IP ideas.

However, keep in mind this is a boutique park, not a full scale theme park. We shouldn’t have 13 rollercoasters, 100 scare mazes, and a log flume. Keep it small, keep it tight, keep it exciting. Celebrate all the things we love about Halloween, from the scares, the trick or treating, the costumes, and just the beautiful autumnal spirit.

This Project will be due Wednesday November 1 at 11:59 EST.

Each team will also be gaining a guest reviewer with Team Lore hosting @cdunlap and Team Legend hosting @Disney Warrior
 

PerGron

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
To celebrate round 3 and the Halloween season, we’re reviving

IMG_6932.jpeg


For this special edition, we’re celebrating the Top 5 Autumn experiences. Everyone has their autumnal traditions and I’d love to hear them all. For me, I’m a huge fan of Cozy New England Autumn, so you’ll see a lot of that reflected in my list.

#5- Apple Picking
IMG_6934.jpeg


A classic autumnal experience, I find there’s nothing cozier and fun than kicking off the fall season with some good ol’ apple picking. I used to go a ton as a kid with the family and now I get to go with my partner as well as sometimes with my sister, niece, and nephew. It’s always a great time getting apples and making a nice cobbler or pie with it. Then fermenting some and making some kick-*** cider.

#4- Haunted Hay Rides
IMG_6935.jpeg

As much as I adore horror movies and being scared, I can’t really do haunted houses like at HHN or anything. I have too much of a fight reflex and I’ve been known to accidentally swing at a scare actor jumping at me. Because of this, I like a haunted bay ride way more. You’re a safe distance that being scared is fun without them being too close to kick in those survival instincts.

#3- Corn Mazes
IMG_6936.jpeg

An iconic must-do every autumn, I absolutely adore corn mazes. This was my girlfriend and my first date and we hit the same one every year and every year it’s shaped to a different animal (no shock that’s why it’s my favorite). Something about getting lost in the overgrown crops just feels so exciting and fun. A must do every autumn.

#2- County Fairs
IMG_6937.jpeg

I know they’re everywhere, but living in New England, autumn means fair season and that means some of the most fun imaginable. While you’ll never get me on any of those sketchy rides, I do love eating all the sickeningly unhealthy food, checking out the livestock displays, and just enjoying myself with my friends at the ol county fair.

#1- Watching Over the Garden Wall
IMG_6939.png

Ever since I first watched this miniseries I’ve been absolutely enamored with it and need to watch it at least once a year around autumn. This show encompasses everything I adore about this season, from the coziness to the spookiness. I love horror and I love scary, but when I think Halloween and autumn, my first thoughts are the vibes of these experiences I’ve listed.​
 

JokersWild

Well-Known Member
To celebrate round 3 and the Halloween season, we’re reviving

View attachment 751091

For this special edition, we’re celebrating the Top 5 Autumn experiences. Everyone has their autumnal traditions and I’d love to hear them all. For me, I’m a huge fan of Cozy New England Autumn, so you’ll see a lot of that reflected in my list.

#5- Apple Picking
View attachment 751092


A classic autumnal experience, I find there’s nothing cozier and fun than kicking off the fall season with some good ol’ apple picking. I used to go a ton as a kid with the family and now I get to go with my partner as well as sometimes with my sister, niece, and nephew. It’s always a great time getting apples and making a nice cobbler or pie with it. Then fermenting some and making some kick-*** cider.

#4- Haunted Hay Rides
View attachment 751093
As much as I adore horror movies and being scared, I can’t really do haunted houses like at HHN or anything. I have too much of a fight reflex and I’ve been known to accidentally swing at a scare actor jumping at me. Because of this, I like a haunted bay ride way more. You’re a safe distance that being scared is fun without them being too close to kick in those survival instincts.

#3- Corn Mazes
View attachment 751095

An iconic must-do every autumn, I absolutely adore corn mazes. This was my girlfriend and my first date and we hit the same one every year and every year it’s shaped to a different animal (no shock that’s why it’s my favorite). Something about getting lost in the overgrown crops just feels so exciting and fun. A must do every autumn.

#2- County Fairs
View attachment 751096

I know they’re everywhere, but living in New England, autumn means fair season and that means some of the most fun imaginable. While you’ll never get me on any of those sketchy rides, I do love eating all the sickeningly unhealthy food, checking out the livestock displays, and just enjoying myself with my friends at the ol county fair.

#1- Watching Over the Garden Wall
View attachment 751097
Ever since I first watched this miniseries I’ve been absolutely enamored with it and need to watch it at least once a year around autumn. This show encompasses everything I adore about this season, from the coziness to the spookiness. I love horror and I love scary, but when I think Halloween and autumn, my first thoughts are the vibes of these experiences I’ve listed.​
You don’t understand how much I miss all of these. Even a serviceable cider (hard or soft) is almost impossible to come by and I live in the Apple Capitol of Japan.
 

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