working out for Disney

[HouCuseChickie]

Today begins week 9 of getting back in shape and I'm still on track.

Last week, I really started pushing it to extend my walking in addition to the biking. Most days I'm still biking more than walking, but Saturday is becoming more of a long walk/short bike day. I put in a 6.5 mile walk on Saturday on the route with all of the steeper grades. I also officially upped the biking minimum to 20 miles on days when I'm doing shorter walks. I was hoping to break the 3 mile mark on my pre-work walk today, but I got out a little late and only got in 2.5. So, I walked at lunch...which turned into a 3 mile walk on its own. Not that I was going to go out and just walk .5 miles, but the rush is really increasing and I probably could have gone a few more miles if I didn't have to work. I'll bike later on and do some other things to round out the day.

I did invest in a new pair of sneakers. My preferred brand/model went on sale because the new version was just unveiled. I saved about $35 buying last year's model...which sounds like it suits me better than the new one. At least that's what I picked up from the reviews. I was starting to experience some pain with my old ones. They're not totally dead, but I am going to start phasing them out. I also bought a new air pump, so I've got both exercise balls fully inflated now and am working them in more to the workouts. I'm also seeing more changes. Today, I wore a tech shirt from a race that I haven't been able to comfortably wear for at least a couple of years. So, that's encouraging.

 

[HouCuseChickie]

Hello-

I did an hour of yoga and I went out for walk to get some fresh air.

My husband is in NYC and he called me today to tell me he wants to talk about what to do going forward. He said he wants to possibly leave and go home. He said he could get a lot of contract work in the financial sector in London. I mean, I personally feel he's going to be RIF'd soon, but I am not sure I want to leave just yet, either. We did this 10 years ago and it was awful. I think he just wants to take his ball and literally go home.

Is there anything that took place last time that made it awful that you might be able to tackle ahead of time to make it a little bit better? It's an unnerving and upsetting situation on your end either way, but anything you can do to make it more palatable.

 

[Songbird76]

Wow, I've missed a lot in 2 weeks!!

Congrats to K on the new job! What will she be doing at the law library? Good luck to Sam with scholarships. That's great that she won the area competition! Good luck at state!

That's so sad about the cat and that Callie is so threatened by it. I hope you can figure out a way to feed both and get him taken care of healthwise. Maybe if you can work it out, once Callie realizes you are still taking care of her, she'll get used to the idea of another cat.
From what I'm seeing online, it wouldn't surprise me a bit if your husband is RIF'd. Maybe he just wants to leave on his own terms? Would he get a severance if he was let go? What made it so awful last time? Was it just the physical moving or was it trying to get documentation, or something else? How old was your son? Would your son go with you if you went, since he's an adult now? I've thought a lot about that with my kids....like, if something ever happened to my husband, I can't support myself here. I'd HAVE to go back to the US. But my kids are thoroughly Dutch. They don't have US passports, they've grown up here, and I don't think either one of them wants to LIVE in the US. So if I were to go back, I'd hardly ever see my kids because I'm pretty sure they wouldn't follow. It's kind of weird because I never actually wanted to live here. We were taught in elementary school that the US was the best country in the world and the only country that had the rights like freedom of speech, freedom of religion, etc, and so I never considered living anywhere else. Well obviously, it's not true that it's the only country with those freedoms, but I never wanted to live in a country that didn't speak English because I didn't want to have to learn a new language. That always seemed scary to me. And we agreed before we were married that we'd live in the US BECAUSE I didn't speak Dutch, and because I couldn't use my degree here. Then after we got married, my husband said he wanted to go back home once we had kids because he wanted his parents to be close to their grandchildren. I never wanted to live here. Then my mom died less than a year after we were married, and my husband was like "OH, well there's nothing keeping us here now, let's move back to the Netherlands." And I'm content here now, though the first three years were MISERABLE because we lived with his parents and had no freedom or space to live. They basically treated us like naughty middle schoolers. We weren't allowed to go out without their permission, we had to do our chores first, I had to have supervision to do my Dutch homework, we weren't allowed to speak English together, he wasn't allowed to translate for me, I wasn't allowed to go up to our room in the evening, I wasn't allowed to spend my money without permission....it was horrible. We didn't get to be newlyweds. We couldn't afford our own place, and I told him after a year or so that if we didn't have our own place in 6 months, we were moving back to the states, because I wasn't going to live like that for very much longer. I knew he wanted to be close to his parents when we had kids, but at that rate we were never going to HAVE kids, and at least if we were in the US we would have our own place and be able to live how we wanted to live. We'd be independent. So I get moving internationally can absolutely be a horrible experience, but if we hadn't had to live with his parents, I think it would have been much easier. They made it soooooo hard. The documentation and such was a long process and frustrating at times, but the worst thing was just not having freedom, living like I was constantly grounded and having to break the rules when they weren't looking. Would you have your own place if you moved, or would you have to start out with your MIL for a bit until you could find a place?

 

[HouCuseChickie]

Congrats to K on the new job! What will she be doing at the law library? Good luck to Sam with scholarships. That's great that she won the area competition! Good luck at state!

Not 100% on K's responsibilities, but I suspect it is mainly helping reshelve books, helping with materials check outs, and general inquiries. Thanks! We're very excited that she made state. Most of the people she knows didn't even make it past the testing to make it to this area competition.

 

[Sans Souci]

Is there anything that took place last time that made it awful that you might be able to tackle ahead of time to make it a little bit better? It's an unnerving and upsetting situation on your end either way, but anything you can do to make it more palatable.

It wasn't living in London that was the bad part. It was my husband's employer taking a year to decide if they were going to transfer him, telling us his transfer would last 3-5 years, only to be told "eh, nevermind." four months after we upheaved our lives to move overseas. My husband had no job back in the States and this is how we ended up in NJ for his current job.

 

[Songbird76]

It wasn't living in London that was the bad part. It was my husband's employer taking a year to decide if they were going to transfer him, telling us his transfer would last 3-5 years, only to be told "eh, nevermind." four months after we upheaved our lives to move overseas. My husband had no job back in the States and this is how we ended up in NJ for his current job.

So, you moved FROM the US to London for his job, which was supposed to last 3-5 years, and then once you got moved, the employer said nevermind and you had to scramble to get back to the US? Is that what I'm understanding from this? That's a really awful situation and I totally get why you would be stressed about that.

Has your husband heard anything more about his current job? I saw that there were a TON of people who lost their jobs this weekend. Hundreds of people in Wyoming were told on Valentines day I guess....a bunch of people who work for the forest service or national parks or something, among others. It made me think of you because you said you were expecting that your husband's job would also be scrapped. I was just wondering if this is giving you a sense of urgency that kind of triggers you because of the earlier experience. I hope you are doing ok with all the stress. We're here if you need to vent.

 

[Sans Souci]

Wow, I've missed a lot in 2 weeks!!

Congrats to K on the new job! What will she be doing at the law library? Good luck to Sam with scholarships. That's great that she won the area competition! Good luck at state!

That's so sad about the cat and that Callie is so threatened by it. I hope you can figure out a way to feed both and get him taken care of healthwise. Maybe if you can work it out, once Callie realizes you are still taking care of her, she'll get used to the idea of another cat.
From what I'm seeing online, it wouldn't surprise me a bit if your husband is RIF'd. Maybe he just wants to leave on his own terms? Would he get a severance if he was let go? What made it so awful last time? Was it just the physical moving or was it trying to get documentation, or something else? How old was your son? Would your son go with you if you went, since he's an adult now? I've thought a lot about that with my kids....like, if something ever happened to my husband, I can't support myself here. I'd HAVE to go back to the US. But my kids are thoroughly Dutch. They don't have US passports, they've grown up here, and I don't think either one of them wants to LIVE in the US. So if I were to go back, I'd hardly ever see my kids because I'm pretty sure they wouldn't follow. It's kind of weird because I never actually wanted to live here. We were taught in elementary school that the US was the best country in the world and the only country that had the rights like freedom of speech, freedom of religion, etc, and so I never considered living anywhere else. Well obviously, it's not true that it's the only country with those freedoms, but I never wanted to live in a country that didn't speak English because I didn't want to have to learn a new language. That always seemed scary to me. And we agreed before we were married that we'd live in the US BECAUSE I didn't speak Dutch, and because I couldn't use my degree here. Then after we got married, my husband said he wanted to go back home once we had kids because he wanted his parents to be close to their grandchildren. I never wanted to live here. Then my mom died less than a year after we were married, and my husband was like "OH, well there's nothing keeping us here now, let's move back to the Netherlands." And I'm content here now, though the first three years were MISERABLE because we lived with his parents and had no freedom or space to live. They basically treated us like naughty middle schoolers. We weren't allowed to go out without their permission, we had to do our chores first, I had to have supervision to do my Dutch homework, we weren't allowed to speak English together, he wasn't allowed to translate for me, I wasn't allowed to go up to our room in the evening, I wasn't allowed to spend my money without permission....it was horrible. We didn't get to be newlyweds. We couldn't afford our own place, and I told him after a year or so that if we didn't have our own place in 6 months, we were moving back to the states, because I wasn't going to live like that for very much longer. I knew he wanted to be close to his parents when we had kids, but at that rate we were never going to HAVE kids, and at least if we were in the US we would have our own place and be able to live how we wanted to live. We'd be independent. So I get moving internationally can absolutely be a horrible experience, but if we hadn't had to live with his parents, I think it would have been much easier. They made it soooooo hard. The documentation and such was a long process and frustrating at times, but the worst thing was just not having freedom, living like I was constantly grounded and having to break the rules when they weren't looking. Would you have your own place if you moved, or would you have to start out with your MIL for a bit until you could find a place?

I think Callie is like, "I worked on these humans for years to serve me the exact way I want to be served, go find your own humans to train." lol He came back Friday night and my husband tried to feed him, but he ran away.

My husband should get severance if he is RIFd and a lot of procedures before he has to go. But DOGE is not playing by the rules, so who knows. The press and the public are really laying into the federal workforce calling them parasites, lazy, incompetent. He was being spammed by DOGE with these disrespectful emails, telling them they need to go into the private sector so they can go from being "low productivity employees to high productivity employees." At this point, he is going to let the chips fall where they may. The people voted for this, so give them what they want and they can deal with the fallout. He seems to think because his pay comes from the banks and not appropriated by congress and his agency is considered mission critical, he might be safe for a while. But they are randomly firing people without input from their immediate supervisors (which is what should be happening), so I don't know. They froze employees' access to their files with performance evaluations and are telling employees they are being fired for poor performance. but they don't have poor performance. They can't access their file to prove otherwise. I am worried about my husband finding another job now with being a federal worker on his resume. The president keeps publicly deriding them, so does his press sec at pressers and certain news outlets are, too. It's not right to poison the well for people looking for new employment.

I could never have lived like you did with your in laws! You must have the patience of a saint. I get respecting the rules of someone's house while you're staying with them, but not being able to spend your money without your ILs permission and supervising you while doing your homework? If I was living with someone, I would 100% expect to help out with cooking/cleaning, following basic rules, but some of the stuff you mentioned seems needlessly controlling. We would probably have to live with my MIL until he found a job and a place. Last night, my husband was talking about taking a 3 month contract in London and seeing how that fares. He's also applied for some jobs in NYC. I think he wants to ride it out as long as he can at this point and have other options when the axe comes down on him.

 

[Sans Souci]

Happy Sunday-

Today is my rest day. I typically like to walk on Sundays, but the rain is pretty hard and pretty steadily. At least it's not snow.

I have been doing yoga, but my last two workouts were kettlebell workouts. It's kind of a gross Sunday here, weather-wise, so I am leaning towards just having a chill day. I think I am going to spend the afternoon on the couch with a blanket and Callie watching movies or reading. Then I am making a comforting dish of cheesy skillet ravioli for dinner. lol After today, I am cleaning up my food act. We went out to eat for Valentine's Day and I've been eating more candy than usual.

Also, just an FYI, if you don't already have it, consider getting credit monitoring. I also froze my credit for the time being.

 

[Sans Souci]

Good morning-

I did a circuit workout with weights and my treadmill. It is from an app and I think I just need to get used to how it works.

I slept pretty badly last night, it was (is) so windy outside. I kept hearing branches hitting the roof and my yard has a bunch of limbs scattered around, so we'll pick those up later. I felt so awful making Callie leave last night. She comes in for dinner at 6 ish and stays in as long as she can. She usually gets her attention-fix, then spends the rest of the evening in her bed. It was just nasty last night, wind and rain. If I knew she would just sleep and not freak out, we'd let her sleep indoors. But I know otherwise, so sadly, she gets put outside at night. She has a heated shelter, but it's not the same as being inside of a human house.

Here is the orange cat. He doesn't look so thin in this photo, but you can see his ribs and his shoulder blades when he's moving around. He is a large cat, though. Callie is big for a female cat, but this guy is large.

 

[Songbird76]

I think Callie is like, "I worked on these humans for years to serve me the exact way I want to be served, go find your own humans to train." lol He came back Friday night and my husband tried to feed him, but he ran away.

My husband should get severance if he is RIFd and a lot of procedures before he has to go. But DOGE is not playing by the rules, so who knows. The press and the public are really laying into the federal workforce calling them parasites, lazy, incompetent. He was being spammed by DOGE with these disrespectful emails, telling them they need to go into the private sector so they can go from being "low productivity employees to high productivity employees." At this point, he is going to let the chips fall where they may. The people voted for this, so give them what they want and they can deal with the fallout. He seems to think because his pay comes from the banks and not appropriated by congress and his agency is considered mission critical, he might be safe for a while. But they are randomly firing people without input from their immediate supervisors (which is what should be happening), so I don't know. They froze employees' access to their files with performance evaluations and are telling employees they are being fired for poor performance. but they don't have poor performance. They can't access their file to prove otherwise. I am worried about my husband finding another job now with being a federal worker on his resume. The president keeps publicly deriding them, so does his press sec at pressers and certain news outlets are, too. It's not right to poison the well for people looking for new employment.

I could never have lived like you did with your in laws! You must have the patience of a saint. I get respecting the rules of someone's house while you're staying with them, but not being able to spend your money without your ILs permission and supervising you while doing your homework? If I was living with someone, I would 100% expect to help out with cooking/cleaning, following basic rules, but some of the stuff you mentioned seems needlessly controlling. We would probably have to live with my MIL until he found a job and a place. Last night, my husband was talking about taking a 3 month contract in London and seeing how that fares. He's also applied for some jobs in NYC. I think he wants to ride it out as long as he can at this point and have other options when the axe comes down on him.

Yeah, one of my friends in Wyoming posted an article about the hundreds of people fired there from their jobs. There will be no one left to maintain some of the sites, like hiking trails, bathrooms, or sell tickets for tours. They've just dismissed everyone so none of these places can run. It's really sad.

My in-laws thought they were helping me learn Dutch, essentially. Neither of them are teachers, neither have college educations, and I graduated from college with honors, so I know how to learn. But they decided I would learn faster if they didn't allow me to hear or speak English at all. So they tried to keep us from going out as much as possible, because if we weren't in their house, we didn't have to follow their rules, and we would speak English to each other. After a full day at school, my brain was fried....I needed a break from Dutch. You can not study all the time...your brain needs rest sometimes. But they didn't get that, and they were terrified of the stigma of the foreigner who never learns to speak the language. Over here it's mostly Turkish and Moroccan immigrants, but it's just like Spanish speakers in the US. People hear someone speaking in a different language and there's a bias and a judgement. In my experience, the worst offenders were family members. I had only been here for about 4 months and I was still waiting for all my documentation to be processed so I could be placed in school. So I hadn't started learning Dutch yet, and it was my MIL's birthday and one of DH's uncles made a comment that I had been there long enough I should be speaking fluently! And this other American woman already spoke pretty decently! But that woman had been here for 2 years and she absolutely did not speak well at all. My MIL was embarassed if people in public noticed I wasn't Dutch....like, we went to the market every Friday morning to get flowers and sometimes vegetebles, and then we'd go to a cafe to get a coffee/hot chocolate. It was December, so I wore my Christmas sweater and she begged me to change my shirt because everyone would know I was American. No Dutch person would EVER wear something like that. (Guess what is all the rage now?) I refused to change....so what if they think I'm American....news flash, I AM! So she spent the whole morning apologizing to other people at the cafe for my Christmas sweater, explaining that I'm American, that's why I'm dressed this way. To this day, I wear that sweater in December when we visit them because she hates it. But the idea was if they supervise me doing my homework, they could correct my mistakes and make sure I was doing it right. If they didn't let us leave the house without them, and if they insisted we sit downstairs and watch Dutch TV with them every evening instead of going to our room, we couldn't be speaking English to each other or watching English language shows. It was all to make sure I was completely immersed in the Dutch language. And the money thing was so that we would be able to buy a house. If they didn't let me spend any money, we'd have more to buy a house. And we DID expect to have to do chores, but it was a way to keep us from going out...."No, you can't go do this, we need you to clean the bathroom right now!" "No, you can't leave. So and so is coming to pick up the keys to the school for the night class and we're going out. We told them you'd be here to give them the keys." (FIL worked at a school and had the keys and we lived next door to the school.) I finally told my husband no, this wasn't going to work. They had every right to ASK us if we would be home to give someone the keys, but that was his father's job and they could not demand that we do it for him. He could ask, but we had the right to make plans and if they wanted us to do them a favor, we had the right to decline. And as far as chores go, we WILL clean the bathroom, but it will have to wait until we get home because right now we're going out. It was just a way to keep me from getting to speak English. And we'd go out shopping and I would grab something I wanted to buy and MIL would take it and put it back, like I was a little child. She'd say "I have that at home" or "We don't need that" and I'd say I was buying it myself and she'd say no. My first Christmas there, we went to a garden center that has a bunch of Christmas decorations. I grabbed some blue ornaments and put them in the cart. She took them and put them back and said we didn't need ornaments, she already had all her ornaments. I said I wanted them for ME and she said no, because they were blue and blue was out of fashion. I said I didn't care about what was in style and I put them back in the cart. She took them back out and said as long as I was living in HER house, I wasn't putting up out-of-style decorations because the neighbors would think SHE put them up. I put them back in the cart and said I like them, I want them for my future home. I basically just put my foot down and told her she didn't get to tell me how to spend my money. She wouldn't let me put them up anywhere that was visible from outside the house. Only in our bedroom, and not near any windows. And then she refused to let me buy my own wrapping paper (hers was UGLY) because she already had some at home and we didn't need it and she wasn't going to let me spend money on that paper I didn't need when I could just use what she already had. I gave in to that one because I was choosing my battles and the ornaments were more important. But that was a common occurrance with her...just to take stuff out of the cart and put it back and tell me I couldn't buy it. It was all about trying to get me to assimilate to Dutch culture. She wanted me to ride a bike to school instead of walk, because Dutch kids all ride their bikes. Any school will always have hundreds of bikes parked outside because that's how they get to school. Most people don't drive and school aged kids can't even have a license, so everyone rides bikes. I refused. "Everyone will think you're not Dutch!" "Well....I'm NOT Dutch, so I don't care." She was very worried about what people would think of HER if I didn't appear to be Dutch. So that's why it was so miserable for me when I moved here, but you won't have that issue. There's not so much of a culture difference...you already speak the language.

 

[Songbird76]

Good morning-

I did a circuit workout with weights and my treadmill. It is from an app and I think I just need to get used to how it works.

I slept pretty badly last night, it was (is) so windy outside. I kept hearing branches hitting the roof and my yard has a bunch of limbs scattered around, so we'll pick those up later. I felt so awful making Callie leave last night. She comes in for dinner at 6 ish and stays in as long as she can. She usually gets her attention-fix, then spends the rest of the evening in her bed. It was just nasty last night, wind and rain. If I knew she would just sleep and not freak out, we'd let her sleep indoors. But I know otherwise, so sadly, she gets put outside at night. She has a heated shelter, but it's not the same as being inside of a human house.

Here is the orange cat. He doesn't look so thin in this photo, but you can see his ribs and his shoulder blades when he's moving around. He is a large cat, though. Callie is big for a female cat, but this guy is large.
View attachment 844719

Were you finally able to feed him? I hope Callie gets used to the idea.

 

[HouCuseChickie]

My husband should get severance if he is RIFd and a lot of procedures before he has to go. But DOGE is not playing by the rules, so who knows. The press and the public are really laying into the federal workforce calling them parasites, lazy, incompetent. He was being spammed by DOGE with these disrespectful emails, telling them they need to go into the private sector so they can go from being "low productivity employees to high productivity employees." At this point, he is going to let the chips fall where they may. The people voted for this, so give them what they want and they can deal with the fallout. He seems to think because his pay comes from the banks and not appropriated by congress and his agency is considered mission critical, he might be safe for a while. But they are randomly firing people without input from their immediate supervisors (which is what should be happening), so I don't know. They froze employees' access to their files with performance evaluations and are telling employees they are being fired for poor performance. but they don't have poor performance. They can't access their file to prove otherwise. I am worried about my husband finding another job now with being a federal worker on his resume. The president keeps publicly deriding them, so does his press sec at pressers and certain news outlets are, too. It's not right to poison the well for people looking for new employment.

This just upsets me so much. I have encountered a number of people dealing with this (or already terminated) and I cannot get over how many good and hardworking people are being falsely branded as lazy and low productivity. At what point does it cross into defamation with legal implications? Not that the law seems to really matter to them. It's right on brand for these people to use false information and downright lies to get their loyal puppets to jump on board with a host of horrible things. It's easier for supporters to cheer it on when they think there's some truth to everything being pushed by DOGE. So much I've seen and heard isn't being done by the book, but rules and such seem to no longer apply. I'd like to think that most people in the private sector have their eyes open and can really see what's happening (should any of these terminated people come to them seeking employment), but it's hard to know who has bought into the propaganda at this point.

 

[HouCuseChickie]

I meant to check in yesterday with a week 10 update but got sidetracked. I've been keeping up, but I'm now facing a couple of new dilemmas to keep me from overdoing it.
1. I really like the pre-work morning walk I've been getting in most days, but it's just not enough time to get in the distance I want as my minimum. I got in 3 miles before work yesterday which was the goal, but I was still 2-3 minutes late...which cannot become an everyday thing. Going during lunch or after work is the alternative for the distance, but it doesn't give me that pre-work boost I really like. I tried splitting it but found that I tend to overdo it. Last week I had a day where I got in about 2.4 miles before work and when I went out during lunch, I got in another 3.5.
2. I'm starting to add more exercises to my post-biking routine. In the past, I stacked all of these things vs. varying them up each day. It yields a lot of results by stacking, but it makes for a crazy long workout...which becomes much harder to maintain in busier times. This throws me into a bit of all or nothing mindset also if I stack it, which can set me on a pattern of doing nothing. So, I'm trying to find a balance of how much to stack each day. For example, last night I did arms, squat machine reps, abs work with the larger exercise ball, and some stretching. Still, there's this part of me that wants to do EVERYTHING.
3. Part of me would like to incorporate a shorter walk on my rest day but I have a hard time shifting to a more leisurely pace. Since my rest day is usually a weekend, I also am tempted to go farther for longer. It's basically something where I turn around and next thing you know I've done some pretty brisk and taxing stuff. So, not really rest...especially when I'm already walking 20-25 miles a week.

Not too much else new. I mean, we're busy with school ball and trying to stay in touch with Kendall. I think I need some kind of hobby or project because I feel stuck. I don't know what that is, especially since time isn't plentiful. I just have found myself ruminating on the past a lot of late. It's got me dwelling on things from 30 years ago, from things I would have done differently to loose ends where I never got answers or closure. It's strictly college stuff, so I think it may just may be me wrapping my brain around the amount of time that has passed, but it's driving me batty at times and making me think I really should find something productive to help positively define current me. Again...no idea what that is.

 

[Sans Souci]

Yeah, one of my friends in Wyoming posted an article about the hundreds of people fired there from their jobs. There will be no one left to maintain some of the sites, like hiking trails, bathrooms, or sell tickets for tours. They've just dismissed everyone so none of these places can run. It's really sad.

My in-laws thought they were helping me learn Dutch, essentially. Neither of them are teachers, neither have college educations, and I graduated from college with honors, so I know how to learn. But they decided I would learn faster if they didn't allow me to hear or speak English at all. So they tried to keep us from going out as much as possible, because if we weren't in their house, we didn't have to follow their rules, and we would speak English to each other. After a full day at school, my brain was fried....I needed a break from Dutch. You can not study all the time...your brain needs rest sometimes. But they didn't get that, and they were terrified of the stigma of the foreigner who never learns to speak the language. Over here it's mostly Turkish and Moroccan immigrants, but it's just like Spanish speakers in the US. People hear someone speaking in a different language and there's a bias and a judgement. In my experience, the worst offenders were family members. I had only been here for about 4 months and I was still waiting for all my documentation to be processed so I could be placed in school. So I hadn't started learning Dutch yet, and it was my MIL's birthday and one of DH's uncles made a comment that I had been there long enough I should be speaking fluently! And this other American woman already spoke pretty decently! But that woman had been here for 2 years and she absolutely did not speak well at all. My MIL was embarassed if people in public noticed I wasn't Dutch....like, we went to the market every Friday morning to get flowers and sometimes vegetebles, and then we'd go to a cafe to get a coffee/hot chocolate. It was December, so I wore my Christmas sweater and she begged me to change my shirt because everyone would know I was American. No Dutch person would EVER wear something like that. (Guess what is all the rage now?) I refused to change....so what if they think I'm American....news flash, I AM! So she spent the whole morning apologizing to other people at the cafe for my Christmas sweater, explaining that I'm American, that's why I'm dressed this way. To this day, I wear that sweater in December when we visit them because she hates it. But the idea was if they supervise me doing my homework, they could correct my mistakes and make sure I was doing it right. If they didn't let us leave the house without them, and if they insisted we sit downstairs and watch Dutch TV with them every evening instead of going to our room, we couldn't be speaking English to each other or watching English language shows. It was all to make sure I was completely immersed in the Dutch language. And the money thing was so that we would be able to buy a house. If they didn't let me spend any money, we'd have more to buy a house. And we DID expect to have to do chores, but it was a way to keep us from going out...."No, you can't go do this, we need you to clean the bathroom right now!" "No, you can't leave. So and so is coming to pick up the keys to the school for the night class and we're going out. We told them you'd be here to give them the keys." (FIL worked at a school and had the keys and we lived next door to the school.) I finally told my husband no, this wasn't going to work. They had every right to ASK us if we would be home to give someone the keys, but that was his father's job and they could not demand that we do it for him. He could ask, but we had the right to make plans and if they wanted us to do them a favor, we had the right to decline. And as far as chores go, we WILL clean the bathroom, but it will have to wait until we get home because right now we're going out. It was just a way to keep me from getting to speak English. And we'd go out shopping and I would grab something I wanted to buy and MIL would take it and put it back, like I was a little child. She'd say "I have that at home" or "We don't need that" and I'd say I was buying it myself and she'd say no. My first Christmas there, we went to a garden center that has a bunch of Christmas decorations. I grabbed some blue ornaments and put them in the cart. She took them and put them back and said we didn't need ornaments, she already had all her ornaments. I said I wanted them for ME and she said no, because they were blue and blue was out of fashion. I said I didn't care about what was in style and I put them back in the cart. She took them back out and said as long as I was living in HER house, I wasn't putting up out-of-style decorations because the neighbors would think SHE put them up. I put them back in the cart and said I like them, I want them for my future home. I basically just put my foot down and told her she didn't get to tell me how to spend my money. She wouldn't let me put them up anywhere that was visible from outside the house. Only in our bedroom, and not near any windows. And then she refused to let me buy my own wrapping paper (hers was UGLY) because she already had some at home and we didn't need it and she wasn't going to let me spend money on that paper I didn't need when I could just use what she already had. I gave in to that one because I was choosing my battles and the ornaments were more important. But that was a common occurrance with her...just to take stuff out of the cart and put it back and tell me I couldn't buy it. It was all about trying to get me to assimilate to Dutch culture. She wanted me to ride a bike to school instead of walk, because Dutch kids all ride their bikes. Any school will always have hundreds of bikes parked outside because that's how they get to school. Most people don't drive and school aged kids can't even have a license, so everyone rides bikes. I refused. "Everyone will think you're not Dutch!" "Well....I'm NOT Dutch, so I don't care." She was very worried about what people would think of HER if I didn't appear to be Dutch. So that's why it was so miserable for me when I moved here, but you won't have that issue. There's not so much of a culture difference...you already speak the language.

I totally understand them wanted you to become integrated into their country, but some of this seems like controlling behavior under the guise of wanting to help you fit in to Dutch society. Trying to prevent from buying ornaments for your future house doesn't seem to accomplish that. That seems very controlling to me. Then you had to make sure they couldn't be seen from the window in your bedroom! LOL Wow. Does she give you a lot of unsolicited advice about your kids?

 

[Sans Souci]

Were you finally able to feed him? I hope Callie gets used to the idea.

No, not yet. We'll keep trying, though. He tries to come up to the door, but Callie is not having it. When the weather is better, I am going to look into trap-neuter-release for him. Neither of his ears are tipped.

 

[Sans Souci]

This just upsets me so much. I have encountered a number of people dealing with this (or already terminated) and I cannot get over how many good and hardworking people are being falsely branded as lazy and low productivity. At what point does it cross into defamation with legal implications? Not that the law seems to really matter to them. It's right on brand for these people to use false information and downright lies to get their loyal puppets to jump on board with a host of horrible things. It's easier for supporters to cheer it on when they think there's some truth to everything being pushed by DOGE. So much I've seen and heard isn't being done by the book, but rules and such seem to no longer apply. I'd like to think that most people in the private sector have their eyes open and can really see what's happening (should any of these terminated people come to them seeking employment), but it's hard to know who has bought into the propaganda at this point.

The public thinks that fed workers had been WFH since the pandemic, but that is not true. There is a telework act passed by Congress in 2010 that let individual agencies set their terms. This was done as a cost saving measure, so the government wouldn't have to rent so much office space. I don't think the public knows that most federal offices aren't in federal buildings, but rented from the private sector. Also, many feds were hired as remote workers, so you could live anywhere in the US and work from home. Now these people are being told they need to be in the office 5 days a week and they live clear across the country from the office. So people have had to quit, because the terms of their employment changed.

If they are truly concerned about waste, fraud and abuse, look to the contractors. I can tell you when my husband has to fly for work, he has to use a contracted travel agency. Every route has a contracted carrier. It's not just one airline. My husband has been quoted some ridiculous fares. He has even gone to the airline website to compare the same route and it's been significantly cheaper. He said something to his boss about booking directly and his boss told him he has to go through this travel agency. So, extrapolate this across the all agencies and do the math. But, no, the employees are lazy bums siphoning money from the tax payer. I think some people are envious that the federal workforce has a lot of worker protections. That's because it's heavily unionized.

This is going to cause a brain drain out of the US. They have let go of so many scientists and specialists that other countries would love to pick up so they can continue their work. People should be concerned about the loss of expertise.

 

[Sans Souci]

I meant to check in yesterday with a week 10 update but got sidetracked. I've been keeping up, but I'm now facing a couple of new dilemmas to keep me from overdoing it.
1. I really like the pre-work morning walk I've been getting in most days, but it's just not enough time to get in the distance I want as my minimum. I got in 3 miles before work yesterday which was the goal, but I was still 2-3 minutes late...which cannot become an everyday thing. Going during lunch or after work is the alternative for the distance, but it doesn't give me that pre-work boost I really like. I tried splitting it but found that I tend to overdo it. Last week I had a day where I got in about 2.4 miles before work and when I went out during lunch, I got in another 3.5.
2. I'm starting to add more exercises to my post-biking routine. In the past, I stacked all of these things vs. varying them up each day. It yields a lot of results by stacking, but it makes for a crazy long workout...which becomes much harder to maintain in busier times. This throws me into a bit of all or nothing mindset also if I stack it, which can set me on a pattern of doing nothing. So, I'm trying to find a balance of how much to stack each day. For example, last night I did arms, squat machine reps, abs work with the larger exercise ball, and some stretching. Still, there's this part of me that wants to do EVERYTHING.
3. Part of me would like to incorporate a shorter walk on my rest day but I have a hard time shifting to a more leisurely pace. Since my rest day is usually a weekend, I also am tempted to go farther for longer. It's basically something where I turn around and next thing you know I've done some pretty brisk and taxing stuff. So, not really rest...especially when I'm already walking 20-25 miles a week.

Not too much else new. I mean, we're busy with school ball and trying to stay in touch with Kendall. I think I need some kind of hobby or project because I feel stuck. I don't know what that is, especially since time isn't plentiful. I just have found myself ruminating on the past a lot of late. It's got me dwelling on things from 30 years ago, from things I would have done differently to loose ends where I never got answers or closure. It's strictly college stuff, so I think it may just may be me wrapping my brain around the amount of time that has passed, but it's driving me batty at times and making me think I really should find something productive to help positively define current me. Again...no idea what that is.

I don't know if this is helpful, but could you sit down on Sunday and map out your week? Like, maybe doing strength training splits after your walk. You can decide which body parts you want to work which day and choose a few exercises for that workout to work those part, so you can keep it short after your walk. I have a workout DVD called "4 Day Split" and the first half hour of the workout is a type of cardio, then second half hour is strength training different parts. I was thinking something like that. I can't remember how it was split, but you could do what's good for your needs.

I have those types thoughts, but mine are more like regrets. Opportunities I passed up because I thought I would fail or do badly or schools I didn't apply to because I thought I'd get rejected. Or feeling guilty about maintaining boundaries and getting into situations where I felt uncomfortable because I didn't want the person to get angry with me, that sort of thing.

 

[Sans Souci]

Hello-

Checking in with strength training today (upper body and HIIT) and yesterday (full body) and two very bracing walks today and yesterday. It was freezing outside. I had to put on my "Chicago winter coat" and my fleece-lined leggings.

I saw daffodils in my yard starting to poke through the dirt. That made me feel a bit happy when I saw them. Everything feels so off right now to me and I am trying to look for positive things. At least spring is coming.

I scheduled an MMR booster at CVS this weekend. I am wondering if I should cancel because I just read two doses are 97% effective and last a lifetime. I just don't have my vaccination record, but I don't think I could have enrolled in school or even college without proof. I'll call my doc and see what he thinks.

 

[ajrwdwgirl]

I love daffodils, but since it has sub zero here for quite a few days I think it will be some time until I see any in my yard.

 

[HouCuseChickie]

The public thinks that fed workers had been WFH since the pandemic, but that is not true. There is a telework act passed by Congress in 2010 that let individual agencies set their terms. This was done as a cost saving measure, so the government wouldn't have to rent so much office space. I don't think the public knows that most federal offices aren't in federal buildings, but rented from the private sector. Also, many feds were hired as remote workers, so you could live anywhere in the US and work from home. Now these people are being told they need to be in the office 5 days a week and they live clear across the country from the office. So people have had to quit, because the terms of their employment changed.

If they are truly concerned about waste, fraud and abuse, look to the contractors. I can tell you when my husband has to fly for work, he has to use a contracted travel agency. Every route has a contracted carrier. It's not just one airline. My husband has been quoted some ridiculous fares. He has even gone to the airline website to compare the same route and it's been significantly cheaper. He said something to his boss about booking directly and his boss told him he has to go through this travel agency. So, extrapolate this across the all agencies and do the math. But, no, the employees are lazy bums siphoning money from the tax payer. I think some people are envious that the federal workforce has a lot of worker protections. That's because it's heavily unionized.

This is going to cause a brain drain out of the US. They have let go of so many scientists and specialists that other countries would love to pick up so they can continue their work. People should be concerned about the loss of expertise.

That's why I really think the WFH angle was fueled by the blue collar worker right wing supporters who felt slighted during COVID. Most of them have been duped into believing that real work can only occur in an in-person environment. Facts like boosted productivity and cost savings are irrelevant because hate and ignorance are now the name of the game.

The irony is that these processes looking for waste are so deeply flawed that they are the biggest waste. They should do some self reflection before dismantling things they don't understand due to their lack of knowledge/training/understanding and desire to show quick results. The fact that their hasty and poorly informed actions are already causing big problems is likely just the beginning of the fallout. The whole lazy bums stuff you've noted and what we've seen being reported from many others is just the government version of a bunch cyberbullying teenage mean girls. There's no facts behind much of anything they're saying and doing, but if they can get people to quit over treating them horribly, they see benefit.

Part of me wonders if the brain drain is intentional. Again, I know this is getting awfully political and we don't normally go that angle, but the attacks on the education system coupled with the attacks on some of our most intelligent American workers feels like a push to dumb down the nation. I won't go any farther with that idea, but I think you know where my logic on this is headed.