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What to do about a husband that doesn't like Disney!
- Thread starter blackerbys17
- Start date
kellydisney said:
Ok wow, yeah that was mean. This is this lady's husband and I think it was disrespectful for you to say those things. Just because someone doesn't like vacationing in a certain spot does not mean they are selfish, obnoxious, self absorbed, abusive!! What on earth is wrong with you?
I'm sure her husband is a great guy. I can't believe the responses in this thread.
kellydisney
New Member
Respectfully disagree. If 3 out of 4 family members like hot crowded theme parks, person #4 should grin and bear it for the love of their family. Anyone who denies their family something they love, or doesn't but acts like an infant because they didn't get their way, is selfish.
kellydisney
New Member
I don't find my response rude, I find it to be an opinion based on her posts. It isn't a pleasant opinion, but it's most certainly not meant to be rude.
She said he doesn't come out and say that he's annoyed, but he gives facial expressions and a general attitude toward the situation and she knows. She said they were in Florida for 4 days and spent 5 hours in a park, and he was annoyed at that much time. Then she said he "does well when they get 2 rooms, one for them, one for the kids. He gets "grumpy" when he doesn't have attention." I'm going by what she said. When I see an injustice, I call it out. That, to me, is ridiculous. And yes, with those posts, this guy sounds selfish. I don't think it's rude to call a red fire engine red. It is red.
She said he doesn't come out and say that he's annoyed, but he gives facial expressions and a general attitude toward the situation and she knows. She said they were in Florida for 4 days and spent 5 hours in a park, and he was annoyed at that much time. Then she said he "does well when they get 2 rooms, one for them, one for the kids. He gets "grumpy" when he doesn't have attention." I'm going by what she said. When I see an injustice, I call it out. That, to me, is ridiculous. And yes, with those posts, this guy sounds selfish. I don't think it's rude to call a red fire engine red. It is red.
Well said Laura. I NEVER said he denies us anything or that he acts like a baby. In fact, we've gone to Disney 2 X this year amd out 3rd time is coming up in about a month. My DH is a WONDERFUL, SWEET, man who just happens not to like Disney. The original intent of this thread was to help me find a way to make Disney more enjoyable for him, not to bash him.
If he were selfish, he would say that we're not going just because he doesn't like the parks. If he acted like a child, he would complain all the time while we are there. If he were abusive, well, I wouldn't be married to him. So yes, I'm quite shocked by your statements Kelly.
I knew Laura would understand because I read her posts all the time and I know she is a Disney nut and her DH not so much. Everybody has different tastes and this Disney nut can see and understand that. My husband spoils me in every way. Just because he doesn't like doing something doesn't mean he denies me or the kids the opportunity to do it.
This man of mine risks his life on a daily basis at work to provide a good decent living for his family. This man of mine cooks me dinner practically very night so I won't have to bother. This man of mine gives me the most amazing back rubs at night even when he comes home tired from work at 11 PM. This man of mine treats me like a princess. The fact that he doesn't care for Disney and how he treats me have nothing to do with eachother.
My ex-husband as a matter of fact loved Disney and guess what? He was abusive in just about every way, even though he loved Disney almost as much as we all do here. So, one thing has nothing to do with the other.
Sorry Kelly, I can understand disagreeing with him but to call my DH "selfish, self absorbed, and possibly abusive" is unacceptable. How can you say things like that about someone you don't know?
If he were selfish, he would say that we're not going just because he doesn't like the parks. If he acted like a child, he would complain all the time while we are there. If he were abusive, well, I wouldn't be married to him. So yes, I'm quite shocked by your statements Kelly.
I knew Laura would understand because I read her posts all the time and I know she is a Disney nut and her DH not so much. Everybody has different tastes and this Disney nut can see and understand that. My husband spoils me in every way. Just because he doesn't like doing something doesn't mean he denies me or the kids the opportunity to do it.
This man of mine risks his life on a daily basis at work to provide a good decent living for his family. This man of mine cooks me dinner practically very night so I won't have to bother. This man of mine gives me the most amazing back rubs at night even when he comes home tired from work at 11 PM. This man of mine treats me like a princess. The fact that he doesn't care for Disney and how he treats me have nothing to do with eachother.
My ex-husband as a matter of fact loved Disney and guess what? He was abusive in just about every way, even though he loved Disney almost as much as we all do here. So, one thing has nothing to do with the other.
Sorry Kelly, I can understand disagreeing with him but to call my DH "selfish, self absorbed, and possibly abusive" is unacceptable. How can you say things like that about someone you don't know?
ErickainPA
New Member
People are all different, he doesn't like the crowds (but he bears them to make the rest of the family enjoy themselves) and being so close to a park not far from home makes him a little uneasy I am sure. Depending on what he arrested someone for, they may try revenge (I pray that never happens to your family) Some people are crazy about all theme parks and can't get enough of them, while others like myself would prefer to do something else than going to a theme park with rides and such, since I don't care for rides much (although I like going to Disney, just the atmosphere does it for me, I ride some rides, but not high ones or roller coasters) Your husband sounds like an awesome man, he is looking out for the welfare of his family with his cautiousness.
The look on my husband's face the first time he got to Disney (back for our wedding) was priceless. He was so happy, he couldn't even wait to get a pin for his birthday (3 days after our wedding) He wore the wedding ears like a trooper although he felt foolish (gotta say he was happier when we went to pins, the hat was putting a dent into his forehead) He is even going to wear a Christmas hat with a light on the end. He said it's only once in a while we get to go to Disney so he is trying to make the most of it.
The look on my husband's face the first time he got to Disney (back for our wedding) was priceless. He was so happy, he couldn't even wait to get a pin for his birthday (3 days after our wedding) He wore the wedding ears like a trooper although he felt foolish (gotta say he was happier when we went to pins, the hat was putting a dent into his forehead) He is even going to wear a Christmas hat with a light on the end. He said it's only once in a while we get to go to Disney so he is trying to make the most of it.
kellydisney
New Member
I was just going on the posts and I stated that. And I also stated it may be mean and that it was what I would do. I didn't say it was fact or what you should do. And it was my personal opinion based on what you posted.
OliveMcFly
Well-Known Member
Divorce Him! Hehe...
That's funny. So many times I felt that way about my ex fiance. I think it was the cause for the breakup. HeHe Well...maybe 95% of it atleast.
MSTINKHERBELL01
New Member
Hi sweetie,
Well I have to say I can understand how it must feel for you to be :sohappy:
:sohappy: over WDW and your honey alittle :brick: :snore: with it. He loves you so much and i'm sure will always do whatever he can to make sure you're happy. I think finding that BALANCE is key. Perhaps find the romantics of WDW...that special thing or things to do, shared with just you and your man. I know that you want to share the Magic you feel with him....
Because I go to WDW so much (1 or 2x a mo.) I thought my partner would have gotten bored or tired w/ WDW...actually, it's totally opposite. We love WDW so much and find the Magic of simply being there so refreshing. We love getting away and trying new things everytime such as the Wishes boat cruise. Now I'm stuck b/c my sweetie wants to move closer to WDW (as if we werent close already)
You have a friend in me girl...if you ever want to go to WDW and your hubby doesnt want to join you...we don't live far from each other...come by and pick me up:wave:
Well I have to say I can understand how it must feel for you to be :sohappy:
:sohappy: over WDW and your honey alittle :brick: :snore: with it. He loves you so much and i'm sure will always do whatever he can to make sure you're happy. I think finding that BALANCE is key. Perhaps find the romantics of WDW...that special thing or things to do, shared with just you and your man. I know that you want to share the Magic you feel with him....Because I go to WDW so much (1 or 2x a mo.) I thought my partner would have gotten bored or tired w/ WDW...actually, it's totally opposite. We love WDW so much and find the Magic of simply being there so refreshing. We love getting away and trying new things everytime such as the Wishes boat cruise. Now I'm stuck b/c my sweetie wants to move closer to WDW (as if we werent close already)
You have a friend in me girl...if you ever want to go to WDW and your hubby doesnt want to join you...we don't live far from each other...come by and pick me up:wave:
sliberatore
Member
At the risk of offending, and appearing overly sappy, I address my reply directly to DH:
This simple lesson is difficult to accept at first, but with practice and experience it is life's most precious lesson and truth: DH, it's not about you. You, and each of us, will find purpose and enjoyment in whatever we do only to the extent we stop thinking about ourselves and turn our attention to others.
DH, you have a wife and two kids. So under the best of circumstances, you should not finish any better than 4th place on your list of priorities. So you had to carry your 2-year-old son around, "aching back and all." How sad. Do you think your son is going to remember that trip to WDW? Or the heat or the crowds? No, but I'll bet he felt much better about whatever his little heart and mind were taking in because he was being held by his dad. And that security he felt will stay with him and as he grows and matures and figures out what is going on he'll realize, provided you don't screw it up, that his dad loves him, even when he is too big for you to carry him around. (And, I might add, a sad day it is indeed when your kids get too big to carry around, so enjoy it--no, relish it--aching back and all, while you can.)
I wept in agony back in 2000 after my then-4-year-old daughter wanted me to carry her around WDW because she was cold and tired. I was recovering from knee surgery. The physical exertion on the knee was actually excellent therapy in rebuilding its strength and endurance, but it hurt so bad I thought my leg would explode. But my little girl did not have a clue; she just wanted and, for her, needed to be held, and the way she cuddled showed how comfortable and secure she was in my arms. I don't say that to pat myself on the back, but to point out that the pain was a small price to pay for the chance to hold her and carry her. Those days are pretty much over now, but the hugs I receive every day, even from my 17-year-son, are just one result but the direct consequence, I believe, of my having carried my kids around.
In just 10 days we head back to WDW where we have gone every year at this time of year since 1997. (Before then, we made trips to Disneyland, which is much closer to home.) We have been there in torrential downpours, in the cold, the heat (though nothing like it must be in July and August), with suffocating crowds (MVMCP), and with no one in sight (post 9/11-December 2001). What I enjoy more than anything else is being with my wife and kids and seeing them enjoy themselves and doing what they want to do. That is a BLAST!
And DH, one more lesson and truth that most husbands never figure out: You will never be more attractive to your wife than when she sees you engaged in activities with your kids that your kids want to do. She already knows that you, given your druthers, would do something else. But when you turn off the ball game to help build something out of Legos, or to play catch, or hide-and-seek, your wife will find you irresistible.
So, DH, slap a broad smile on your face and go the WDW to help your wife and kids have a great time. Enjoy it because they enjoy it. Ask the kids, "What do you want to do?!", then do it. And stop thinking about yourself. If you find yourself feeling sorry for yourself, snap out of it, look at your kids and say, "You look like you need an ice cream cone. Let's go get one!"
Last, thank you for your service to your community and to our country. As a police officer, you deserve our collective respect and gratitude; you have mine. We are able to take for granted so much of what we enjoy because of the work of you and your colleagues. But this is not about your being a cop. It is about your being a husband and a father, and those duties dwarf anything else you will ever do.
Now go have yourself a magical day!
This simple lesson is difficult to accept at first, but with practice and experience it is life's most precious lesson and truth: DH, it's not about you. You, and each of us, will find purpose and enjoyment in whatever we do only to the extent we stop thinking about ourselves and turn our attention to others.
DH, you have a wife and two kids. So under the best of circumstances, you should not finish any better than 4th place on your list of priorities. So you had to carry your 2-year-old son around, "aching back and all." How sad. Do you think your son is going to remember that trip to WDW? Or the heat or the crowds? No, but I'll bet he felt much better about whatever his little heart and mind were taking in because he was being held by his dad. And that security he felt will stay with him and as he grows and matures and figures out what is going on he'll realize, provided you don't screw it up, that his dad loves him, even when he is too big for you to carry him around. (And, I might add, a sad day it is indeed when your kids get too big to carry around, so enjoy it--no, relish it--aching back and all, while you can.)
I wept in agony back in 2000 after my then-4-year-old daughter wanted me to carry her around WDW because she was cold and tired. I was recovering from knee surgery. The physical exertion on the knee was actually excellent therapy in rebuilding its strength and endurance, but it hurt so bad I thought my leg would explode. But my little girl did not have a clue; she just wanted and, for her, needed to be held, and the way she cuddled showed how comfortable and secure she was in my arms. I don't say that to pat myself on the back, but to point out that the pain was a small price to pay for the chance to hold her and carry her. Those days are pretty much over now, but the hugs I receive every day, even from my 17-year-son, are just one result but the direct consequence, I believe, of my having carried my kids around.
In just 10 days we head back to WDW where we have gone every year at this time of year since 1997. (Before then, we made trips to Disneyland, which is much closer to home.) We have been there in torrential downpours, in the cold, the heat (though nothing like it must be in July and August), with suffocating crowds (MVMCP), and with no one in sight (post 9/11-December 2001). What I enjoy more than anything else is being with my wife and kids and seeing them enjoy themselves and doing what they want to do. That is a BLAST!
And DH, one more lesson and truth that most husbands never figure out: You will never be more attractive to your wife than when she sees you engaged in activities with your kids that your kids want to do. She already knows that you, given your druthers, would do something else. But when you turn off the ball game to help build something out of Legos, or to play catch, or hide-and-seek, your wife will find you irresistible.
So, DH, slap a broad smile on your face and go the WDW to help your wife and kids have a great time. Enjoy it because they enjoy it. Ask the kids, "What do you want to do?!", then do it. And stop thinking about yourself. If you find yourself feeling sorry for yourself, snap out of it, look at your kids and say, "You look like you need an ice cream cone. Let's go get one!"
Last, thank you for your service to your community and to our country. As a police officer, you deserve our collective respect and gratitude; you have mine. We are able to take for granted so much of what we enjoy because of the work of you and your colleagues. But this is not about your being a cop. It is about your being a husband and a father, and those duties dwarf anything else you will ever do.
Now go have yourself a magical day!
Don't you think you guys are going a little overboard? Just cause he doesn't like Disney doesn't mean you have to get rid of him. Good greif! Actually my dad Is kinda like that. The first time we when it was his idea and he had a good time. Every trip after that was not his idea, but we liked it so much that just had to go back. He has also made the comment that every dad looks like they would rather be at tortured, than be there spending there precious hard earned cash. One thing I can suggest is, don't go as often. We go two years in a row then take of a year and then go two years in a row and so on. But since you live so close I could see how that would be hard. There isn't really any one thing you can do that will fix your problem, just come to a mutual agreement.
Dragonrider1227
Well-Known Member
Disney World has something for everyone. there's gotta be SOMETHING non Magic Kingdom or Epcot related that he'd enjoy. Let him go to the golf courses, or hang at the pools, or Pleasure Island while you and the kids have fun in the parks.
Well, golf and sports aren't his thing but he does like water related activities so next time, I'll think we'll rent him a jet ski at the Contemporary and then I can meet him back at the hotel for lunch or something. That would be a good opportunity to get some rest and have a nap and we can all head to the park later in the day when it is less crowdwd and less hot.
shoppingnut
Active Member
blackerbys17 said:
This comment is just ridiculous, if you go by this line of thinking you would never leave your house to do anything ever on your off time. So where are crowds: Grocery Store or any store for that matter even Home Depot, deli, restaurants, beaches, any sporting events (even the kids little league or soccer games), teacher-parent night at their schools and any place you go will have some gathering of people. You could be anyplace or anywhere when someone has a weapon or someone creates a weapon out of a general object (glass bottle).
If you are going to worry about who you have arrested, once again you'd might as well stay in your house and don't leave. If someone was really going to do you harm, they would be stalking you to find out your movements, not some chance meeting at a theme park. And if they are in a theme park, they are not looking for you, but having a good time with their family and you are inconsequential to their day, get over yourself.
I'm sorry, but what does encountering officers at rest stops have to do with anything. They are there for everyone's protection, I see them in Maryland and Delaware all the time when we go to rest stops on I95, so does that mean I shouldn't go to visit my aunt in VA? Maybe I'm missing something here.
The other item of him making faces while you are there at WDW and knowing he is faking it, is just inconsiderate of him. I couldn't travel like that, so I would leave him home on some trips. However, I would alternate vacations each year and if you want to go on a short trip to WDW and take the kids you should do it without him since he isn't going to have a good time and just making a face is going to make you feel unhappy, so he should understand that and stay home.
I think all this talk of divorce is a bit drastic. I think you both need to find a balance between WDW and other vacations that he will like. There needs to be compromise on both sides and by doing so, when it is one persons vacation choice, the other person needs to not complain about anything because this is the way it is and enjoy their family no matter where they may be because it is all about family being together.
DisneyFanJen
Member
Ok, calm down guys and give DH a break. Not everyone likes the same things, it's just life.
The rest of this post is directed to DH.
:lol:
I don't think anyone really meant it when they suggested that. Though it may be considered sacrilege by some my partner comes before Disney any day of the week.
Saying that though, I know that my partner has and does do things with me just because I like it, and makes the best of the times when that happens.
Ok, to go over these things as I see them...
Price. Well price is subjective. You don't like Disney so no matter what it'll probably be too expensive. To us who are Disney nuts, no price is too expensive. To illustrate the point my vacation in Dec (with my partner, my sister and her family) is being paid for by me as a present to them all and to date including pre-bought spending money (in TTs) has cost just under 10k GBP (approx $17,000) and I didn't bat an eyelid when spending it. There are places I could have took them that would cost a fraction of that but I wanted to take them to the best place on earth for a vacation...
Heat. I agree on that one, I always travel off-season to avoid the worst of it, and if you don't like the heat I'd advise doing the same or hitting the water parks.
Crowds. I don't like crowds either which again is a reason to go off season. It's cheaper off-season too so including the lower temps thats three things dealt with in one go.
Cop Mode (for want of a better phrase): Again I work in security atm which is nowhere near as dangerous as what you do I know, but I know where you are coming from. When I'm away from work I often find myself looking at people and categorising them based on their possible security threat, it's comes with the job. However I found quickly that sometimes you have to turn it off. Because end of the day whether it's Disney, the Caribean, or sunny Rochdale, it's always there, it's just when you're further afield you don't notice it as much.
Hmm, as to waiting for rides that havent changed in years. Well, it's horses for courses I guess. It's their classic iconic nature that draws me to them, the very fact they've not changed for years. Disney's very canny about this, if an aging ride fairly obviously isn't becoming a classic, then it's gone and a new one appears in it's place, and even though a few of us lament it's passing it wouldn't have gone unless most people arn't interested anymore.
What does that all boil down to? Well nothing I suppose apart from clarifying some things from our point of view (our being the Disney nuts
) but I hope it did help a little.
As to advice, well my alternate vacation idea still stands. Also maybe studying the orlando area in general to see if you can find things that you like and can do while blackerbys17 goes to the parks, it'd mean splitting up for the day, but better that than being in a bad mood for the day. Most of all though, try to go in with a positive attitude. As my partner says to me when doing things for me "I'm happy because you're happy."
Of course, if all else fails you could go to Snow White and fill in for Grumpy! :lol:
P.S: Hat's off to you and all people in the force. There's been more than once I've needed your help in my job.
The rest of this post is directed to DH.
blackerbys17 said:WARNING! NON-DISNEY FAN COMMENTS AHEAD:
DH speaking here. Of the 6 replies so far no one has asked......why? (And divorce is not an option, as my wife likes to put it ...."Divorce is very expensive."
:lol:
I don't think anyone really meant it when they suggested that. Though it may be considered sacrilege by some my partner comes before Disney any day of the week.
Saying that though, I know that my partner has and does do things with me just because I like it, and makes the best of the times when that happens.
Ok, to go over these things as I see them...
Price. Well price is subjective. You don't like Disney so no matter what it'll probably be too expensive. To us who are Disney nuts, no price is too expensive. To illustrate the point my vacation in Dec (with my partner, my sister and her family) is being paid for by me as a present to them all and to date including pre-bought spending money (in TTs) has cost just under 10k GBP (approx $17,000) and I didn't bat an eyelid when spending it. There are places I could have took them that would cost a fraction of that but I wanted to take them to the best place on earth for a vacation...
Heat. I agree on that one, I always travel off-season to avoid the worst of it, and if you don't like the heat I'd advise doing the same or hitting the water parks.
Crowds. I don't like crowds either which again is a reason to go off season. It's cheaper off-season too so including the lower temps thats three things dealt with in one go.
Cop Mode (for want of a better phrase): Again I work in security atm which is nowhere near as dangerous as what you do I know, but I know where you are coming from. When I'm away from work I often find myself looking at people and categorising them based on their possible security threat, it's comes with the job. However I found quickly that sometimes you have to turn it off. Because end of the day whether it's Disney, the Caribean, or sunny Rochdale, it's always there, it's just when you're further afield you don't notice it as much.
Hmm, as to waiting for rides that havent changed in years. Well, it's horses for courses I guess. It's their classic iconic nature that draws me to them, the very fact they've not changed for years. Disney's very canny about this, if an aging ride fairly obviously isn't becoming a classic, then it's gone and a new one appears in it's place, and even though a few of us lament it's passing it wouldn't have gone unless most people arn't interested anymore.
What does that all boil down to? Well nothing I suppose apart from clarifying some things from our point of view (our being the Disney nuts
) but I hope it did help a little.As to advice, well my alternate vacation idea still stands. Also maybe studying the orlando area in general to see if you can find things that you like and can do while blackerbys17 goes to the parks, it'd mean splitting up for the day, but better that than being in a bad mood for the day. Most of all though, try to go in with a positive attitude. As my partner says to me when doing things for me "I'm happy because you're happy."
Of course, if all else fails you could go to Snow White and fill in for Grumpy! :lol:
P.S: Hat's off to you and all people in the force. There's been more than once I've needed your help in my job.
shoppingnut
Active Member
Also, I forgot to mention the comment about the ride not changing in 10 years, well I could say the same thing about many other vacations. People who like to vacation at the beach, well the sand and water are the same and the beach has the same type of beach-going people. The thing is that these folks like the beach and keep going back because it is something they enjoy. While it's not for me as I burn like a french fry, I don't discredit there vacation choice or when I go to the beach with a friend on occasion, I make the best of it and enjoy it for what it is a day out with friends or family and not sitting at home doing fixer-up projects, I just make sure I slather on the highest spf to avoid being burnt.
crazygirley
New Member
My guy had never been to WDW, had no desire to go, thought he could never like it, and went knowing he wouldn't like it. I was prepared for the worse and knew I had to deal with it.
When we got to WDW, I introduced things slowly to him. I let him go at his own pace. I didn't overwhelm him with too much of anything Disney.
Long story short, he now asks me, "Why don't we stay at AKL?" "We better go to Disney Pin Traders first thing." and "I want to spend ALL DAY in the parks!" I'm amazed when he LISTENS to Disney trivia, looks at new pictures of things at WDW, got upset when one of his pins started to oxidize (he put his lanyard away in his underwear drawer for safe keeping, LOL), and seems to be really excited for our January trip to come.
I don't know how I handled the initial "I hate Disney World" that he displayed. My only advice is to try a different approach next time! Good luck!
When we got to WDW, I introduced things slowly to him. I let him go at his own pace. I didn't overwhelm him with too much of anything Disney.
Long story short, he now asks me, "Why don't we stay at AKL?" "We better go to Disney Pin Traders first thing." and "I want to spend ALL DAY in the parks!" I'm amazed when he LISTENS to Disney trivia, looks at new pictures of things at WDW, got upset when one of his pins started to oxidize (he put his lanyard away in his underwear drawer for safe keeping, LOL), and seems to be really excited for our January trip to come.
I don't know how I handled the initial "I hate Disney World" that he displayed. My only advice is to try a different approach next time! Good luck!