What age is better 2 or 3?Help

[sbkline]

Proof positive that when you wake up from one nightmare that you are prone to taking up where you left off when you go back to sleep.:brick:

What's that supposed to mean?

 

[Hakunamatata]

What's that supposed to mean?

It means what it means.

 

[Monty]

I had a reply I was going to give, but when I got home from work, I saw that the thread had been locked. So I'll post it here.

I respect your point of view on the matter and if that's how you feel and you have fun on your trips, then that's great.

But there is another way to look at it as well, and it includes not thinking of it as "foisting your kids" off on anyone. The way I look at it is that most grandparents love to have their grandkids for a week. I don't know your family situation, whether your parents or ex in-laws are still living or not. Or if they are, for all I know they may live next door to you and get to see their grandkids all they want. But in my case, both sets of my grandparents lived more than an hour away and it was a real treat to be able to see them. I remember many times staying for a week with my maternal grandparents and those are some great childhood memories. Sitting outside on the swing with grandpa, or fishing with Grandma in their pond. Grandpa taking us for rides on his tractor and staying up late playing "Aggravation" with Grandma. I have wonderful memories of my grandparents and the times I was able to spend with them. And I was very excited about the prospect of my kids having the same experiences with their grandparents. I very much looked forward to my kids growing up and having Christmases, Thanksgivings, etc, with their grandparents. I very much looked forward to my kids, like my brother and I, being able to go down to the farm and spend a week or so with my parents. My wife's parents live about 5 minutes away and babysit our son on Mondays and Tuesdays, so they see him all the time. But my parents lived about an hour from us and didn't get to see our son as often as we would have liked.

Anyway, regarding our 2007 WDW trip, not only did the wife and I want to spend it without the responsibilities of tending to an infant, but I was also very excited about my son being able to spend a week with my parents and start the memories off from an early age. Not that he would remember the experience any better than he would the Disney trip had he gone, but it would be a good memory for my parents, of having their first grandchild for a week. My mother was very excited about being a grandma for the first time and looked forward to having our son for a week and taking him to church and showing off her new grandchild. See, it isn't about "foisting" him off on some unwilling poor sap. It's about the granparents having the joy of spending a whole week with their only grandchild and being able to "spoil him rotten and send him back home" as they say. :lol:

Well, the trip was in April of 2007 and, unfortunately, my parents were in a car wreck in Novemeber of 2006 and my Mom died. Ya know how many times she got to have her grandson over for the night? Once. That was it. My inlaws went on vacation in October, so my parents had our son for the days that my in-laws would have watched him. So my son was born on May 2, Mom died Dec 1 and in the short amount of time that she got to know her grandson, she got to have him over to her house ONE TIME. When my wife was pregnant in 2005, we got each of our mothers a plaque that said "Grandma's Kitchen", which my mother had hanging in her kitchen. I was over there one day after she died and it was still hanging there as a reminder that my son would never get to be in Grandma's kitchen like I was growing up. He will grow up without his grandma, without the memories that I have, and my mother barely got to know her first grandson before she was taken from us.

We then changed the plan so that Connie's parents watched him while we were gone. We left for Florida on Sunday morning and we went to Dad's house on Saturday night to drop off the dog. There was sadness in my heart on the way there and back, knowing that this wasn't how it was supposed to be. The original plan was that on Saturday, the wife, the dog, the baby and I would ALL go to MOM and Dad's house, stay all night, then leave Sunday while Mom and Dad have our baby and the dog for the week. Mom was to take the baby to church and show him off and then have a whole week to spoil him as grandma's love to do.

As I said, it didn't happen and now it never will. My son will not be able to have the memories of all his grandparents growing up as my brother and I do. I only have one memory of us going to Disney as a family when I was 11 years old (check my signature), but I have plenty of memories of spending weekends or full weeks with my grandparents and those are some wonderful memories. Important memories, possibly as important, if not more so, than Disney trips.

So, with all due respect, think about it that way instead of thinking of it as "foisting" your kids off on someone. If your parents are anything like my grandparents and parents, I doubt they think of it that way, either.

I don't argue a thing you've said, my parents are both no longer with us. My father never met DS in the flesh, but knows him well, DS' middle name is "Peace" - my father's birth name. My mother had the pleasure of knowing DS well, though she was never in a position to be left with him alone. My ex-In-Laws live around the corner and see him regularly [though only extremely rarely have they been asked to take him without one of us there - we choose not to impose] and DS and I stayed with them for 10 days this past February while visiting WDW [they're snowbirds and had a place ten minutes from WDW from January until April]. But to me, if I were to send him to relatives in order to go to WDW without him, I would be foisting him off [whether they are willing foistees is not the issue].

I choose to spend as much time possible with him. My friends and colleagues are all accustomed to having me leave events, parties or meetings early because it's time for me to pick him up from school or day camp. They all understand that he is my highest priority and if forced to choose between friends/work or him, he wins every time. My employer allows me flexible hours in order that the days I'm responsible for dropping him off or picking him up I have that opportunity. My employer also knows I'd quit before I accepted a change to that situation. The only compromise I make is for business trips where I am the best-suited to go. I'll leave him with my Ex, but I always make up the time missed while I'm away.

I have the good fortune to be in a position where I can insist on concessions from my employer [and tolerance from my friends] to allow me the luxury of spending the time I do with him. I can't imagine ever voluntarily relinquishing that to go to WDW or anywhere else that isn't business-related without him. As a result, despite my willingness to grant that you have every right to do so, I cannot fathom how you could.

It's clear to me that you and I will never see eye to eye, but as I said, he will always remember that we did everything together. I consider that a good end result.

 

[DisneyGigi]

I had a reply I was going to give, but when I got home from work, I saw that the thread had been locked. So I'll post it here.

I respect your point of view on the matter and if that's how you feel and you have fun on your trips, then that's great.

But there is another way to look at it as well, and it includes not thinking of it as "foisting your kids" off on anyone. The way I look at it is that most grandparents love to have their grandkids for a week. I don't know your family situation, whether your parents or ex in-laws are still living or not. Or if they are, for all I know they may live next door to you and get to see their grandkids all they want. But in my case, both sets of my grandparents lived more than an hour away and it was a real treat to be able to see them. I remember many times staying for a week with my maternal grandparents and those are some great childhood memories. Sitting outside on the swing with grandpa, or fishing with Grandma in their pond. Grandpa taking us for rides on his tractor and staying up late playing "Aggravation" with Grandma. I have wonderful memories of my grandparents and the times I was able to spend with them. And I was very excited about the prospect of my kids having the same experiences with their grandparents. I very much looked forward to my kids growing up and having Christmases, Thanksgivings, etc, with their grandparents. I very much looked forward to my kids, like my brother and I, being able to go down to the farm and spend a week or so with my parents. My wife's parents live about 5 minutes away and babysit our son on Mondays and Tuesdays, so they see him all the time. But my parents lived about an hour from us and didn't get to see our son as often as we would have liked.

Anyway, regarding our 2007 WDW trip, not only did the wife and I want to spend it without the responsibilities of tending to an infant, but I was also very excited about my son being able to spend a week with my parents and start the memories off from an early age. Not that he would remember the experience any better than he would the Disney trip had he gone, but it would be a good memory for my parents, of having their first grandchild for a week. My mother was very excited about being a grandma for the first time and looked forward to having our son for a week and taking him to church and showing off her new grandchild. See, it isn't about "foisting" him off on some unwilling poor sap. It's about the granparents having the joy of spending a whole week with their only grandchild and being able to "spoil him rotten and send him back home" as they say. :lol:

Well, the trip was in April of 2007 and, unfortunately, my parents were in a car wreck in Novemeber of 2006 and my Mom died. Ya know how many times she got to have her grandson over for the night? Once. That was it. My inlaws went on vacation in October, so my parents had our son for the days that my in-laws would have watched him. So my son was born on May 2, Mom died Dec 1 and in the short amount of time that she got to know her grandson, she got to have him over to her house ONE TIME. When my wife was pregnant in 2005, we got each of our mothers a plaque that said "Grandma's Kitchen", which my mother had hanging in her kitchen. I was over there one day after she died and it was still hanging there as a reminder that my son would never get to be in Grandma's kitchen like I was growing up. He will grow up without his grandma, without the memories that I have, and my mother barely got to know her first grandson before she was taken from us.

We then changed the plan so that Connie's parents watched him while we were gone. We left for Florida on Sunday morning and we went to Dad's house on Saturday night to drop off the dog. There was sadness in my heart on the way there and back, knowing that this wasn't how it was supposed to be. The original plan was that on Saturday, the wife, the dog, the baby and I would ALL go to MOM and Dad's house, stay all night, then leave Sunday while Mom and Dad have our baby and the dog for the week. Mom was to take the baby to church and show him off and then have a whole week to spoil him as grandma's love to do.

As I said, it didn't happen and now it never will. My son will not be able to have the memories of all his grandparents growing up as my brother and I do. I only have one memory of us going to Disney as a family when I was 11 years old (check my signature), but I have plenty of memories of spending weekends or full weeks with my grandparents and those are some wonderful memories. Important memories, possibly as important, if not more so, than Disney trips.

So, with all due respect, think about it that way instead of thinking of it as "foisting" your kids off on someone. If your parents are anything like my grandparents and parents, I doubt they think of it that way, either.

I think, according to the OP...the Grandparents are going with her, she isn't wanting someone to keep her child :shrug:

 

[Hakunamatata]

I consider that a good end result.

And how awesome will it be when he is older with his kids he will have the memories of the times he speant with you because you gave him the opportunity to have them.

 

[sbkline]

But to me, if I were to send him to relatives in order to go to WDW without him, I would be foisting him off [whether they are willing foistees is not the issue].

As a result, despite my willingness to grant that you have every right to do so, I cannot fathom how you could.

It's clear to me that you and I will never see eye to eye, but as I said, he will always remember that we did everything together. I consider that a good end result.

Sorry to hijack the thread further . But I noticed in another thread that you said your son is 12. So comparing yourself with me is about like comparing apples to oranges. At 12, I would certainly not want to leave my son behind while I go to WDW...although I still think it's important for a 12 year old boy to take a break from his parents (or parent as the case may be) and spend a week at grandma's. I think times spent with grandma and grandpa (without Mom and Dad), for whatever reason, or no reason at all, are important and make for cherished memories down the road. I cherish the memories of my brother and I staying with Grandma and Grandpa for a week, especially when a cousin would be there, too. And I don't feel like I was "foisted off" on them (especially since it was sometimes OUR idea to go visit them for a week, not our parents' idea) and I know my grandparents didn't feel that way.

But leaving a one year old to go to WDW, IMO, is totally different than leaving a 12 year old. Like you, I can't imagine leaving my son at home at that age so I can go to WDW. Because I look forward to those kinds of family outings. But at one or two, I just don't think that's the right time.

 

[Monty]

Sorry to hijack the thread further . But I noticed in another thread that you said your son is 12. So comparing yourself with me is about like comparing apples to oranges. At 12, I would certainly not want to leave my son behind while I go to WDW...although I still think it's important for a 12 year old boy to take a break from his parents (or parent as the case may be) and spend a week at grandma's. I think times spent with grandma and grandpa (without Mom and Dad), for whatever reason, or no reason at all, are important and make for cherished memories down the road. I cherish the memories of my brother and I staying with Grandma and Grandpa for a week, especially when a cousin would be there, too. And I don't feel like I was "foisted off" on them (especially since it was sometimes OUR idea to go visit them for a week, not our parents' idea) and I know my grandparents didn't feel that way.

But leaving a one year old to go to WDW, IMO, is totally different than leaving a 12 year old. Like you, I can't imagine leaving my son at home at that age so I can go to WDW. Because I look forward to those kinds of family outings. But at one or two, I just don't think that's the right time.

He's 12 now - he wasn't when we started going.

To be clear: My son and I have consistently done everything possible together since he was born, everything I've said has been accurate for his entire life, not just since he's been 12. I have taken him with me everywhere I've gone except specific business trips that he couldn't go on and which weren't by any stretch of imagination vacations. I'm not saying you're right or wrong, I really don't care what you do with your child. What I have said is I can't personally imagine making the decisions you've made and I've stated why I wouldn't personally make them.

 

[amykissangel]

I had a reply I was going to give, but when I got home from work, I saw that the thread had been locked. So I'll post it here.

I respect your point of view on the matter and if that's how you feel and you have fun on your trips, then that's great.

But there is another way to look at it as well, and it includes not thinking of it as "foisting your kids" off on anyone.

Anyway, regarding our 2007 WDW trip, not only did the wife and I want to spend it without the responsibilities of tending to an infant, but I was also very excited about my son being able to spend a week with my parents and start the memories off from an early age. Not that he would remember the experience any better than he would the Disney trip had he gone, but it would be a good memory for my parents, of having their first grandchild for a week. My mother was very excited about being a grandma for the first time and looked forward to having our son for a week and taking him to church and showing off her new grandchild. See, it isn't about "foisting" him off on some unwilling poor sap. It's about the granparents having the joy of spending a whole week with their only grandchild and being able to "spoil him rotten and send him back home" as they say. :lol:

Well, the trip was in April of 2007 and, unfortunately, my parents were in a car wreck in Novemeber of 2006 and my Mom died. Ya know how many times she got to have her grandson over for the night? Once. That was it.

So, with all due respect, think about it that way instead of thinking of it as "foisting" your kids off on someone. If your parents are anything like my grandparents and parents, I doubt they think of it that way, either.

Sbkline,

So sorry to hear about your mother; I know things like this take a long time to heal. Again, please know that I completely respect your choices with your familiy - it is your family, after all.

My parents went to Mackinack Island for their 15th Anniversary, and my brother, sister and I got to stay with Grandma and Grandpa for an entire week! We had so much fun; never would I have expected (as I look back now) my parents to take us with them, even though we LOVE Mackinack Island and have gone several times as a family. Although 5 years later, we got to do the Disney Cruise for their 20th Anniversary (at ages 18, 15, and 9)...super awesome!! :~)

I appreciate your posts - always very polite and well - stated. I hope you know that all don't look down upon you for not taking your child with you for every vacation. HAVE FUN! :wave:

 

[sbkline]

Sbkline,

So sorry to hear about your mother; I know things like this take a long time to heal. Again, please know that I completely respect your choices with your familiy - it is your family, after all.

My parents went to Mackinack Island for their 15th Anniversary, and my brother, sister and I got to stay with Grandma and Grandpa for an entire week! We had so much fun; never would I have expected (as I look back now) my parents to take us with them, even though we LOVE Mackinack Island and have gone several times as a family. Although 5 years later, we got to do the Disney Cruise for their 20th Anniversary (at ages 18, 15, and 9)...super awesome!! :~)

I appreciate your posts - always very polite and well - stated. I hope you know that all don't look down upon you for not taking your child with you for every vacation. HAVE FUN! :wave:

Thanks you very much for the kind words. :wave:

And now I guess I should apologize for hijacking another thread.

 

[maggiegrace1]

Thanks you very much for the kind words. :wave:

And now I guess I should apologize for hijacking another thread.

*Sends you to your room*

 

[H20Babie]

Another single parent here :wave:

MontyMon and sbkline: I can see both sides here. As a single parent, I take my son along with me. The only reason I am going solo in 2008 is because DS will be spending spring break with his dad for the first time. His dad has never taken him on any vacation (usually just goes away with the GF), so this is really important that DS and his dad spend time together. Otherwise, he'd be with me. That being said, when I was married, the ex and I would often get away on our own ... couples need time alone and away together to remind themselves that they are not just "mom" and "dad", but "husband and wife".

To the OP: I would absolutely, without a doubt, take my DS at 2! And I did! DS has been to WDW "in utero" (aka first trip ... lol), 1, 2, 3, and 5. Each of those trips have been wonderful! The Baby Care centers were great, even just to get him to chill out and have some quiet time. The awe in his eyes when he met Mickey to his chubby little hands clapping to the parades to his little legs dancing to the fireworks, each time has been magical. Save the money now when she's 2, because you know she'll want to go back!

 

[WDWEric]

My son was a month from his 3rd birthday when we took him now all he talks about is Disney world, all he wants to watch are my Disney World Dvd's. my wife thinks I created a monster!

 

[disneylawyer]

I am taking both this year and I have all thoughts that my 3 year old will do MUCH better than my 2 year old. She may be ok, but I am just not convinced!

 

[scorp111]

My DD is 4 and the trip later this week is her 9th. My son is 19 months and this will be his 4th.

There are advantages either way! I would definitely think in your situation the savings of going before she was 3 would make it worth it, but that's up to you!

 

[msmith]

My son was 23 months on his first trip last October...

By the 3rd day, he woke up on his own (we had wedged his porta-crib between the wall and our bed) and climed out of his crib (first time ever), then proceeded to crawl across our bed (as we're pretending to be asleep laughing quietly).
The whole time he's yelling "GO! Outside! Disney (sounded more like Din-ney) NOW!" over and over again... he proceeds to let himself down off of the bed, picks up his shoes (still in his pajamas mind you...) throws the shoes into his stroller (full-size stroller), then pushes it across the carpet (with the break on) to the door.

Climbs into the stroller with his butt on the seat and his feet above the little 'drink/snack' tray while attempting to put on his own shoes (also a first for him). The whole time still hollering Momma! Dada! Outside! Din-ney now!

Created a monster?! You betcha...

We're going back Oct.21 for his 2nd trip...

We've been talking about it a bit with planning, etc. and we're taking his cousins, etc.

Last night the wife had to run to Wal-greens for something and he asked to go with her... As they're putting on his shoes, he asked if they were leaving for Disney right then... My two nephews that are going with us ask everytime we go to their house if we're leaving for Disney yet.

3 boys, ages 35 months, 34 months, and 4 yrs. Should be interesting... (Lookout Mickey!!!)

 

[figment3258]

I know for us we brought our daughter when she was 2 and a half. She loved it. She enjoyed the rides and the characters. We had a great time and she still remembers it today and now we are going back and she will be 5.