In the spirit of fanning more flames and inciting more arguments, I bring you WDW March Madness: The Wacky Brackets III (aka, the NIT). The only tournament that lets you, the average poster, determine the official Mickey Mouse Issue of the Year. You may recall (in horror) the results of the first Wacky Brackets, in which we crowned “The Wand” as champion. That was followed up by a stellar second season, where The Wand made itself disappear and passed the torch (not a trademarked Olympic torch, mind you, but still an adequate cave-worthy beacon of dim light) to the tongue twisting “Why Does Disney Continue to Ignore My Unerring, Supremely Wise Counsel?”
With no bailout money available for Wacky Brackets in 2009, the brackets disappeared. But thanks to the Cash for Complainers program, the brackets return (and with a vengeance!) in 2010. As with previous tournaments, I make the rules, randomly determine the seedings, create the matchups, and tally the votes (I’m like Jeff Probst from Survivor, but without the clichéd patter). What will emerge as the 2010 Mickey Mouse Issue of the Year? We shall see …
This year, we’re going to start this argument by pitting long-standing arguments up against other long-standing arguments in head-to-head battle. An argument about arguing? Yes! Now, here’s where normally I’d make a witty (and possibly “lol”-inducing) reference to an Escher drawing or possibly to Monty Python’s classic “Argument Clinic” sketch to prop up my semi-cultured persona. Due to cutbacks, I won’t do that this year. No, this year I’m just phoning it in – this is essentially a lame home game version of my most recent pointless blog entry, Getting Your Posts Noticed.
In years past, many a question has been raised as to what you are supposed to vote for: what you like, what you don’t like, what sounds funny, what you’re tired of, what you can type with only your left hand, etc. Yeesh, you maniacally sane people and your insistence on order. Grudgingly, I’ll reveal the recommended logic behind your voting: vote for the topic that most makes you want to post the popcorn eating smiley. You know what I’m talking about. When the topic comes up, you already know the argument, you know who’s on which side, and you know how it’s going to end: loud, ugly, and locked, preferably with a banning or two. Say, maybe we’ll be lucky and this thread will end that way – which would put it in great position to win next year’s Wacky Brackets!
Okay, without any further circular references (a.k.a. “infinite loops” or “recursive calls” to my fellow IT geeks out there), on with the Madness:
The Freshly Stale MK Bracket
(1)“The Fantasyland Expansion is the greatest thing since Walt vs. The 2013 Fantasyland already sucks”
vs.
(14)“Space Mountain was down for a year and all I got was this lousy screen game vs. Space Mountain is darker … and less likely to collapse!”
The Displeasure Island Bracket
(2) “P.I. was a cesspool of hooligans vs. The closing of the Adventurer’s Club made me lose all hope for humanity”
vs.
(13) “DisneyQuest is unworthy of standing next to the marred, unwinnable crane game at a dilapidated Denny’s vs. DisneyQuest is the 5th gate”
The Long and Winding Epcot Road Bracket
(3) “My professed appreciation for the original EPCOT Center is proof of my superior intelligence vs. No, it’s really not”
vs.
(12) “Dropping the Lights of Winter shows just how brain-dead TDO has become vs. TDO is an infallible decision-making oracle”
The I Can’t Believe There’s Yet Another Thread Like This Bracket
(6) “Why doesn’t the Monorail – the greatest form of transportation known to mankind – connect every building in WDW? vs. Every foot of monorail track costs $1,000,000,000”
vs.
(6.5) “It’s against the rules vs. Yeah, but I’m entitled”
vs.
(7) “I hate … vs. I’ll take that troll bait and respond with all of the righteous indignation I can muster”
The Distilled to the Core Bracket
(8) “Yesterday vs. Today”
vs.
(8.5) “Disney vs. Universal”
vs.
(9) “Dolt vs. Dolt”
The Argumentative Words Bracket: Single words, acronyms, and made-up terms so powerful they need no explanation and have the ability to start a flame war in an otherwise innocuous thread …
(4) “Scooter”
vs.
(11) “FastPass”
----------
(5) “RFID”
vs.
(10) “Walmarting”
You have two years of pent up Madness, pick your fights …
With no bailout money available for Wacky Brackets in 2009, the brackets disappeared. But thanks to the Cash for Complainers program, the brackets return (and with a vengeance!) in 2010. As with previous tournaments, I make the rules, randomly determine the seedings, create the matchups, and tally the votes (I’m like Jeff Probst from Survivor, but without the clichéd patter). What will emerge as the 2010 Mickey Mouse Issue of the Year? We shall see …
This year, we’re going to start this argument by pitting long-standing arguments up against other long-standing arguments in head-to-head battle. An argument about arguing? Yes! Now, here’s where normally I’d make a witty (and possibly “lol”-inducing) reference to an Escher drawing or possibly to Monty Python’s classic “Argument Clinic” sketch to prop up my semi-cultured persona. Due to cutbacks, I won’t do that this year. No, this year I’m just phoning it in – this is essentially a lame home game version of my most recent pointless blog entry, Getting Your Posts Noticed.
In years past, many a question has been raised as to what you are supposed to vote for: what you like, what you don’t like, what sounds funny, what you’re tired of, what you can type with only your left hand, etc. Yeesh, you maniacally sane people and your insistence on order. Grudgingly, I’ll reveal the recommended logic behind your voting: vote for the topic that most makes you want to post the popcorn eating smiley. You know what I’m talking about. When the topic comes up, you already know the argument, you know who’s on which side, and you know how it’s going to end: loud, ugly, and locked, preferably with a banning or two. Say, maybe we’ll be lucky and this thread will end that way – which would put it in great position to win next year’s Wacky Brackets!
Okay, without any further circular references (a.k.a. “infinite loops” or “recursive calls” to my fellow IT geeks out there), on with the Madness:
The Freshly Stale MK Bracket
(1)“The Fantasyland Expansion is the greatest thing since Walt vs. The 2013 Fantasyland already sucks”
vs.
(14)“Space Mountain was down for a year and all I got was this lousy screen game vs. Space Mountain is darker … and less likely to collapse!”
The Displeasure Island Bracket
(2) “P.I. was a cesspool of hooligans vs. The closing of the Adventurer’s Club made me lose all hope for humanity”
vs.
(13) “DisneyQuest is unworthy of standing next to the marred, unwinnable crane game at a dilapidated Denny’s vs. DisneyQuest is the 5th gate”
The Long and Winding Epcot Road Bracket
(3) “My professed appreciation for the original EPCOT Center is proof of my superior intelligence vs. No, it’s really not”
vs.
(12) “Dropping the Lights of Winter shows just how brain-dead TDO has become vs. TDO is an infallible decision-making oracle”
The I Can’t Believe There’s Yet Another Thread Like This Bracket
(6) “Why doesn’t the Monorail – the greatest form of transportation known to mankind – connect every building in WDW? vs. Every foot of monorail track costs $1,000,000,000”
vs.
(6.5) “It’s against the rules vs. Yeah, but I’m entitled”
vs.
(7) “I hate … vs. I’ll take that troll bait and respond with all of the righteous indignation I can muster”
The Distilled to the Core Bracket
(8) “Yesterday vs. Today”
vs.
(8.5) “Disney vs. Universal”
vs.
(9) “Dolt vs. Dolt”
The Argumentative Words Bracket: Single words, acronyms, and made-up terms so powerful they need no explanation and have the ability to start a flame war in an otherwise innocuous thread …
(4) “Scooter”
vs.
(11) “FastPass”
----------
(5) “RFID”
vs.
(10) “Walmarting”
You have two years of pent up Madness, pick your fights …