OK FWIW:
My personal opinions and attitudes may not reflect the position I take on something, because I understand others may have different valid views.
For me personally, I have been a not-strict vegan + fish for about 20 years - for general health and well-being, not for political or animal-loving or religious reasons. This coming Monday I'l turn 44. My Dad died just after his 45th birthday of a heart attack. He ate a lot of junk and meat, and smoked a lot. His Dad died at 55 of the same thing. I'm trying to be the first man in the family to hit 60.
The "vegan" part comes from having mild asthma. I find that eliminating dairy greatly helps that, and I don't need to take bronchodilators, etc.
DH is not vegan, but also non-strict vegetarian + fish. Side note: he's been type I diabetic since age 10, so I am keenly aware of "choice vs. mandatory" when it comes to dietary restrictions.
We generally eat and enjoy a lot of veggie dishes most of the time. Every once in awhile I'll say screw it and eat some pizza with real cheese (I never really enjoyed cheese in any other setting than on pizza.) Birthdays, holidays, and WDW are reasons to more or less eat whatever we want - although I'll often choose a nice fish dinner over meat because I genuinely enjoy it. I believe balance is important in life. That said, if I'm going to eat meat, I've set the standard for myself that it should be "worth it" and not a fast-food burger, for example.
When choosing a restaurant at WDW or elsewhere, I examine the menu before booking to see if there is that one token vegetarian option and/or one token fish option, or if there are more options than that. When I can, I'll pick the place with more options in our wheelhouse - especially if they have a good appetizer and/or a sugar free or no sugar added dessert.
I have never once mentioned either vegetarian or diabetic restrictions on our reservations except when I have ordered a sugar free cake. I don't generally like a fuss being made, don't need to bother the chef, I can make do with what's on the menu, or I can order something "without the chicken," etc. Many restaurants have come a long way since I was a kid in the 70's with offering more than just pasta primavera.
Now, I can understand someone going to WDW, knowing they make great meals, getting stuck going to a steakhouse because the rest of the family wants to do that, and having the opportunity to ask the chef if there are any non-menu veggie options besides the standard pasta dish. It's nice if a vegetarian can partake of the stellar Disney meal as much as anyone else and not just settle for something. Now, that may be able to be done via a good waiter, but I can see where at times it can be easier for the diner to speak directly with the chef. But I expect, more often, any vegetarians asking to speak with a chef would do so more out of more important reasons like certain things making them sick, certain grill residue, etc. because their lifelong personal choice has led to such sensitivities that their bodies can't handle meat anymore.
My point is - I can see where it is reasonable for some vegetarians to speak with the chef, even if I don't - so it rubs me the wrong way when the ex-wife of a cast member lets on that a chef was so annoyed by such requests. Again, IMO that chef has the wrong job with the wrong company.
And now, I will go back to anticipating my upcoming filet with onions at the Yachstman Steakhouse for our anniversary dinner in less than two weeks. I believe my last filet was at a business Christmas dinner in NJ in the early 1990's LOL.
In the meantime, tonight it's fresh cauliflower with Indian lentil & spices. Very yummy!
