Unnecessary harsh treatment of children in public spaces at WDW

dsmith51

Member
Original Poster
Oh, I think it’s going to end exactly how a poster with 13 years standing and yet only two dozen posts is hoping.
No, I ask that you please don't post anything hateful, and that you think about what you're going to say before you post it. I'm asking people to reply in a way that will help me understand why parents do this, NOT because I'm looking for a huge debate.

Come to think of it, more replies to my post asking the question have not even been about the question! :/
 

Andrew C

You know what's funny?
Premium Member
No, I ask that you please don't, and that you think about what you're going to say before you post it. I'm asking people to reply in a way that will help me understand why parents do this, NOT because I'm looking for a huge debate.

Come to think of it, more replies to my post asking the question have not even been about the question! :/
parents are not perfect. They mess up. They screw up. They get tired.

Also, it is easy to judge without knowing the full context of the situation. And each situation is different.

And I’m sure a small minority of parents are just kinda bad at it.
 

ELG13

Well-Known Member
I get what the OP is saying. I do. I hate seeing parents loose it on their kids on vacation. Chances are the kids are exhausted and ***gasp*** over Disney world and being pulled around. I have to get on to my 5 and 8 yr old from time to time but I don't get loud and showy with it. But...of those other parents dont get all crazy in front of my kids, who will I have to use as an example?? "Do YOU want ME to pop your butt in the middle of Disney world like that little boy just got? No?! THEN STRAIGHTEN UP." This is, of course, through clenched teeth, trying to look like a smile about 2 cm from my daughter's nose 😁. But in all seriousness, I'm with you. I have kids, I get it. I think sometimes people have unrealistic expectations of their kids and themselves which inevitably leads to disaster. Maybe all the old smoking sections can be reassigned to disciplinary sections. That way no one is blocking Main Street while whooping their kids butt.
 

KrzyKtty

Well-Known Member
More often than not, when visiting the parks I see a parent (or both parents) scolding their young children (including spanking, shaking, yelling, or some other unruly behaviour) while the kid is screaming at the top of his or her lungs. This type of behaviour is totally unnecessary at the happiest place on earth (DL or WDW). Granted, children CAN be a handful at times on vacation, and yes, sometimes they may deserve scolding, but I don't think the parent should be doing this in public spaces in the parks where everyone walking by can witness it. If at all, I plead with parents NOT to hit their children, but wait until they can get to a secluded area or back in the hotel and then calmly tell their children what they did wrong.

Most kids don't understand what they did wrong, so it's up to the parent to tell them, and remind them that it's not satisfactory to do whatever they did. Most times I think it's a combination of the hot weather, walking long distances, and hunger that makes a kid become unruly. We usually don't interfere because a) it's not our kid who is misbehaving and b) we don't want to be told to mind our own business by the kid's parent. Many of us don't like confrontation, but some of us can't stand the sight of someone berating their kid. The kid is only naturally curious, is a growing human being and of course he or she is going to make mistakes. I just think there is no place for this kind of thing while everyone is watching.
I get you mean well, I really do. However, until you have children of your own, you really really really have no idea what you are talking about. Believe me, I have taught my children from day one what appropriate public behavior is. My 6 year old daughter DOESN"T CARE!!! God himself could come down and issue her a divine command. She will bristle at the command, and say no just to spite him. That is her personality. It always has been, probably always will be. Are we making progress, yes. Is she sweet, yes. However, do not let the halo fool you, it is help up by the devil horns!! There have been some Sunday's at church where my mother and I have seriously wondered if the holy water would smoke if we put her in it.

Now that the fun is out of the way, I will be somewhat serious here. Have you experienced telling your young child no less than 100 times, and I am not exaggerating here, to get off of the queue bars before they get hurt? All while your child is tired, hot, and bitchy because they haven't eaten the 10th meal in a row you have put in front of them? How about the, "Mom she is touching me. Mom he is touching my part of the line. Mom, she is looking in my direction," for 4 hours straight. Or how about telling your over excited little one for the 5 time to quit running before they fall? You can't imagine the frustration that comes with having to repeat this over and over and over again, all while you are hot and tired yourself.

While we were at Disneyland my 11 year old son went missing. He was honestly just trying to help me find my husband and daughter, but the ****head didn't tell me he was leaving before deciding to do this. So when my Husband and daughter returned without my son in tow, I lost my ever loving mind. I am not a helicopter mom by any means, but you lose track of your child two days after Christmas in the Happiest Place on Earth and lets see you keep it together. When we found him, I gave him a big hug, and then proceeded to ream him out right there. It was the only way I could bring my heart down and convince him that what he did was dangerous and stupid.

Also, children are not all logic and common sense. In my experience, with my children, regardless of the public presence, they respond better if I handle it immediately. If I wait 20+ minutes to find a quite place to discipline them when everything is calm and happy again, they no longer really understand why I am doing it. Or at least that is the case when they are younger.

For all of the magic of WDW, it is a very dangerous place sometimes for children. I don't need them to listen to me 20 minutes from now. When I tell them something, I mean NOW!

If you feel like a child is being abused, then please seek out security and have them step in. But until then, trust that the parent knows their children far better than you.

Before I had children, I had all of the grand ideas about how perfect I would be as a parent. I also shared similar beliefs to what you thought in your original post. Then I had two children of my own. After that point, it was simple a battle for survival. I think the little monsters may be winning.
 

KrzyKtty

Well-Known Member
And one more point to add. What you are witnessing is the period at the and of a very long sentence. You were only witnessing the tipping point that finally caused the parent to snap. What you weren't witness to was the hours of frustration that probably led up to that very point. Without all of the information, it really is not your place to judge.
 

ntn_haqqer

Well-Known Member
More often than not, when visiting the parks I see a parent (or both parents) scolding their young children (including spanking, shaking, yelling, or some other unruly behaviour) while the kid is screaming at the top of his or her lungs. This type of behaviour is totally unnecessary at the happiest place on earth (DL or WDW). Granted, children CAN be a handful at times on vacation, and yes, sometimes they may deserve scolding, but I don't think the parent should be doing this in public spaces in the parks where everyone walking by can witness it. If at all, I plead with parents NOT to hit their children, but wait until they can get to a secluded area or back in the hotel and then calmly tell their children what they did wrong.

Most kids don't understand what they did wrong, so it's up to the parent to tell them, and remind them that it's not satisfactory to do whatever they did. Most times I think it's a combination of the hot weather, walking long distances, and hunger that makes a kid become unruly. We usually don't interfere because a) it's not our kid who is misbehaving and b) we don't want to be told to mind our own business by the kid's parent. Many of us don't like confrontation, but some of us can't stand the sight of someone berating their kid. The kid is only naturally curious, is a growing human being and of course he or she is going to make mistakes. I just think there is no place for this kind of thing while everyone is watching.
Obviously you don't have children. I will tell you this, when I was a single dude once up a time, I would've posted something similar to this and every parent on here would've had their way with me including me being virtually drawn and quartered. But, now that I'm married and have two kids (9 year old daughter and 8 year old son), I totally get where these parents are coming from who have unruly children as even my own kids get a little rowdy at the parks from time to time.

Think about this - if "Little Suzy" did something terrible like pick up a coffee mug and mom told her to put it down, but Suzy decided to ignore mom because she's at that age where she's pushing limits and broke the mug at say 10:00am....why would the parent wait hours later to bring the kid back to the hotel to discipline? All I know is that if I didn't do something my parents told me to do, my mom especially would whoop my butt big time!

The world has gotten soft on discipline. I see a lot more of "It's ok...you didn't mean it" these days and it disgusts me. If your kids are unruly and they know it and you know it, then discipline them right then there. There's a difference between spanking and beating the crap out of your kids (as the latter would lead to jail time for child abuse). My kids get disciplined on a weekly basis for stupid crap they do. The latest was when my son thought it'd be cute to etch his initials in small print by the rear passenger wheel well. I spanked him for doing that, but later on - it also became a lesson on how to use touch up paint to cover the damage as the area isn't that large. So discipline punishment can lead to relationship building. And before anyone jumps on my case about building relationships with my kids because I discipline them? Let's just say this - all is well in my household. How are your kids behaving? ;)
 

bryanfze55

Well-Known Member
I’ve never actually seen a kid being spanked at a Disney park, but I’m not saying it doesn’t happen. I have seen it at Six Flags.

WDW has become a stressful vacation. I would imagine most parents who lose their cool are genuinely good people who are just trying to give their children an amazing experience but are stressed to the max for whatever reason. All parents are fallible and prone to poor judgment at times. But ultimately, they are contributing to the continuation of humanity. You aren’t. Hold your judgment.
 

Oddysey

Well-Known Member
More often than not, when visiting the parks I see a parent (or both parents) scolding their young children (including spanking, shaking, yelling, or some other unruly behaviour) while the kid is screaming at the top of his or her lungs. This type of behaviour is totally unnecessary at the happiest place on earth (DL or WDW). Granted, children CAN be a handful at times on vacation, and yes, sometimes they may deserve scolding, but I don't think the parent should be doing this in public spaces in the parks where everyone walking by can witness it. If at all, I plead with parents NOT to hit their children, but wait until they can get to a secluded area or back in the hotel and then calmly tell their children what they did wrong.

Most kids don't understand what they did wrong, so it's up to the parent to tell them, and remind them that it's not satisfactory to do whatever they did. Most times I think it's a combination of the hot weather, walking long distances, and hunger that makes a kid become unruly. We usually don't interfere because a) it's not our kid who is misbehaving and b) we don't want to be told to mind our own business by the kid's parent. Many of us don't like confrontation, but some of us can't stand the sight of someone berating their kid. The kid is only naturally curious, is a growing human being and of course he or she is going to make mistakes. I just think there is no place for this kind of thing while everyone is watching.
Funny you post this today. I was thinking earlier about my wife and I about 12 years ago (before children) witnessing a parent say something very unkind to her daughter. We both thought that the way the mother reacted to her child was horrendous and lamented to each other how we would never say something like that mother said to her child. We thought she was absolutely cruel.

The reason I thought of this today is because we had to punish our child after a bad afternoon at school. As I was listening to our DDs excuse as to why she behaved the way she did, and as to why we were having to punish her twice in less than a week (highly atypical), the mom from Epcot flashed in my head. After today I could see my wife and/or I acting the same way as the mom we criticized.

All to say, experience in any field tends to change a person’s perspective. Especially parenthood.
 
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carriebeth

Well-Known Member
Its not just people at Disney acting that way. I work retail management and I see people in my store acting the same way all the time Tword their children. The thing with people on vacation is they are suddenly spending 24 hours a day with their children for days at a time maybe even a week or weeks on this vacation when they probably work full time normally and see their children for a couple waking hours a day. Parents aren’t used to just dealing with the children day after day like that and when you add in the tiredness from the hectic schedule, heat, unexpected bad surprises that arise during most vacations and failed plans etc it ends up taking its toll. Also the kids aren’t used to spending so much time with their parents as well so they might not know the boundaries and limits with them and the change in the normal pace and environment of vacation can throw off their boundary perception as well so things can get more intense.
 

Disney.Mike

Well-Known Member
People who dont have kid seem to think its so easy to just "talk to them and explain what they did wrong". Its not, kids are not adults, and dont think like adults. My oldest didnt respond to anything but a smack on the rear, my middle doesnt need anything but a look, and the youngest doesn't respond to ANYTHING.

But what you see is the culmination of the frustration. I've lost my cool with the kids several times at WDW. Believe me, they knew each time what they did.

A couple of highlights of my less than finest moments:
Blew up at youngest for constantly turning cartwheels in MK... after about 5 times of telling her to stop I had to yank her up and yell at her. What was the alternative? Let her fall on her head and injure herself?

A few different blow ups for the middle and youngest constantly climbing on the rails at rides... 100's of times saying "stop, dont do that" didnt seem to work.

During summer we were at a restaurant in MK, my middle child was thirsty and the service was horrible (hadnt got refills) so no one had any drink left (except my oldest). When my oldest heard my sister say she was thirsty, she chugged her full glass so she didnt have to share with her sister... Yup another explosion..

Last trip to WDW, leaving A Bugs Life, my middle (9) pee'd on herself after we got out of the theater (I swear it was like 2 gallons of pee). I just looked at her and she started screaming at me saying "I TOLD YOU I HAD TO GO". I asked my other 2 kids and my wife if anyone heard her... no one heard here (she didnt say anything, she was scared she would miss the show if we made a bathroom stop). With this one I was so mad i didnt even say anything, i just let my wife clean her up.

There have been a few others, but if you just saw the end results of the above you would think I'm the most horrible person in the world.
 

eliza61nyc

Well-Known Member
Doesn't mean non parents can't have a valid opinion. Bit this will be heading down the road the OP wanted.
Of course everyone has an opinion, it's the valid part that comes into question. Op is forming said opinion on..

1) probably 20 secs of information at the end. Lol sort of like seeing the last 2minutes of a movie and then declaring it was lousy.

2) 0 amount of personal experience in which to analyze that information. Unfortunately IMO there really are a few things that one has to go through to fully understand. It's super easy to be critical and declare a better way to do something when you don't have any feedback or sweat in the process.
Like Monday morning quarterbacks, real easy to say how you'd throw the ball when you don't have Mean Joe Greene and Ernie Holmes coming at ya.
 
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Mr Ferret 88

instagram mrferret888
Premium Member
Of course everyone has an opinion, it's the valid part that comes into question. Op is forming said opinion on..

1) probably 20 secs of information at the end. Lol sort of like seeing the last 2minutes of a movie and then declaring it was lousy.

2) 0 amount of personal experience in which to analyze that information. Unfortunately IMO there really are a few things that one has to go through to fully understand. It's super easy to be critical and declare a better way to do something when you don't have any feedback or sweat in the process.
Like Monday morning quarterbacks, real easy to say how you'd throw the ball when you don't have Mean Joe Greene and Ernie Holmes coming at ya.
Oh i agree.
 

Gringrinngghost

Well-Known Member
Recently Overheard as we just disembarked the Epcot line at the TTC:

7-8 year old son: Dad, I have a rock on my shoe.
Dad: No you don’t!
*Son restates previous statement*
Dad: You dont!
*son starts to restate the first statement as the father started walking faster whilst holding his sons hand*

If there’s anything the parks thought me, 9 chances out of 10, the son had a rock in his shoe.

In conjunction with the heat, and being exhausted, the parks are designed to over stimulate you. And honestly with how some people plan, I can see why their party gets ****y. Some of them, have sent me their itineraries (people who go multiple times a year) and it’s literally blocked by 5-15 minutes. I’m sorry, but when you’ve micromanaged a vacation where you can tell me to a certain degree 4 months out that for lunch on Day 3 that you have 130 minutes available, when it comes to the day, that’s the fastest way to have tempers flare.

*The views above represent those single, childless millennials that go to the parks that some say need to be banned. The posters view is not that of the Walt Disney Company nor their job history and contacts*
 
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