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Trip Canned
- Thread starter demento57
- Start date
LudwigVonDrake
Well-Known Member
Does the OP have other family members he could go to to be the "bridge" to the parents? If not, make alternative plans and don't burn any bridges for yourself or your girlfriend.
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DisneyBride94
New Member
Wait, you're in California? You're not dating my friend's sister, are you? LOL.
Nah, I think she's now 23...and just finishing up film school out there...
I'd offer to chaperone... Ha ha...
Gosh... I keep standing on my head trying to get my mom and MIL to come back to Disney with US. Back when I was a working woman and we had two incomes, we paid to take my mother and mother-in-law with us to Disney for three years in a row... it gave them some quality time with the grandchildren... and they helped us out with the kids... But now that I am home with the kids, I can't afford to pay their way...
Nah, I think she's now 23...and just finishing up film school out there...
I'd offer to chaperone... Ha ha...
Gosh... I keep standing on my head trying to get my mom and MIL to come back to Disney with US. Back when I was a working woman and we had two incomes, we paid to take my mother and mother-in-law with us to Disney for three years in a row... it gave them some quality time with the grandchildren... and they helped us out with the kids... But now that I am home with the kids, I can't afford to pay their way...
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mrtoad
Well-Known Member
That is really sad. I guess some people should not be parents. I guess coming from a tight family (even though my parents are divorced) makes it seem weird to me. I speak to my sisters and parents all the time or as close to it as possible. Even though my parents are divorced they still have love for one another, just not as husband and wife. Both are re-married and my father has 2 children with his new wife. When my mother was married my father bought her and her husband a wedding gift. My mother to this day buys Christmas presents for my half brothers.
To some that is most likely odd and I admit it is a bit but in this case, odd is good.
To some that is most likely odd and I admit it is a bit but in this case, odd is good.
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lazidazi07
New Member
Exactly.
My parents realize that who they are today, is a result of all the actions they decided for themselves. They are proud of what they have and HAVENT done, simply because they made the decisions themselves, and its made them who they are today. Why would they expect that I am automatically going to learn life lessons because they told me thats how "life is." Dont get me wrong, I live in Oklahoma for crying out loud, I cant blink without being told I need religion, I understand some people dont want Susy Jones next door, knowing that their child may be making her own (even bad ones, god forbid!) decisions. My parents are proud that they have raised an independant daughter with her own ideals.
That may be too much of a rant, and a little off topic, but that kind of thing really touches home, I see so many of my friends go through it and cant help but sympathize. (sp?)
I dont know her parents, I dont know if she has a drop deap awesome relationship with them, but they are certain boundaries.
Geez, my parents were overjoyed when they were told I wanted to go to WDW for my graduation trip with my BF. I even got the "What about that Cancun place? " question.
Best of luck to ya.
There was my two cents...okay, maybe 50 cents?
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Sorry I think her parents a not only hypocrites but definatly a few sandwiches short of a pinic. There son can go out of state with a girl but there daughter can't, total hypocracy the parents need to grow up and show their daughter respect or as soon as she graduates its going to be who are you I seem to remember your face. BTW I am over 30 so am not looking at this from the perpective of a teenager.
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majortom1981
Active Member
hmm
Have you thought of juts going by yourself? I would have said, You can't go? oh well Ill write you a post card while im there lol.
Have you thought of juts going by yourself? I would have said, You can't go? oh well Ill write you a post card while im there lol.
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ChrisMyst
New Member
This thread has stunned me!
I'm in a similar yet very different situation. I'm 27 and my bf is 20 (yes we're both guys). We have a trip to Disney planned for September. His parents don't know me, have never met me and have clearly expressed that they never want to. He still lives at home and there are no problems whatsoever with his home life or relationship with his parents, they just don't want anything to do with me. It's a shame but it's something i'm just gonna have to live with.
They don't approve of us, but understand the need for their 'child' to live his own life. They don't force their views and values on him.
From reading this thread it seems that many peoples relationship with their parents is financially based, which seems a little sad. Almost as if people are tollerating their parents because they pay for things. I've lived away from home for 8 years or so, but my parents do so much to support me still. The just have more money than me! So if i have a big bill, or a problem come up, then they'll help me out. My mum lent me the money to take my bf to Disney World. Just because I still somewhat rely on my folks financially dosn't mean I'm not and adult. I'm sure the tables will turn one day and they'll need support from me, that's just how families work!
I hope her folks come around and realise she is a person and not an extention of them. If they approve or not they should have the grace to accept her wishes.
Hope it all works out for the best.
I'm in a similar yet very different situation. I'm 27 and my bf is 20 (yes we're both guys). We have a trip to Disney planned for September. His parents don't know me, have never met me and have clearly expressed that they never want to. He still lives at home and there are no problems whatsoever with his home life or relationship with his parents, they just don't want anything to do with me. It's a shame but it's something i'm just gonna have to live with.
They don't approve of us, but understand the need for their 'child' to live his own life. They don't force their views and values on him.
From reading this thread it seems that many peoples relationship with their parents is financially based, which seems a little sad. Almost as if people are tollerating their parents because they pay for things. I've lived away from home for 8 years or so, but my parents do so much to support me still. The just have more money than me! So if i have a big bill, or a problem come up, then they'll help me out. My mum lent me the money to take my bf to Disney World. Just because I still somewhat rely on my folks financially dosn't mean I'm not and adult. I'm sure the tables will turn one day and they'll need support from me, that's just how families work!
I hope her folks come around and realise she is a person and not an extention of them. If they approve or not they should have the grace to accept her wishes.
Hope it all works out for the best.
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JimboJones123
Well-Known Member
Just knock her up before hand and the relations thing won't be such an issue. My wife went pregnant 2X. Still had a blast.
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:zipit: My wife went pregnant once, though she didnt know it until we got home, she blamed her morning sickness on the sushy we ate in Japan :lol:.
Back to the topic.
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DisneyDragon
New Member
Today on Dr. Phil, a couple who wants to go to WDW but can't because her parents won't let her...
That's a bad reference, because Dr. "Hates Men" would blame it all on you...
Seriously, I've said it before and I'll say it again. This really screams of a lack of trust in her parents in their own daughter to make a decision.
This means that you cannot solve this problem. It has to be your GF who deals with the issue. Anything you do will seem like a blatant attempt to get their daughter to go away, and since "she can't make an adult decision", may do all sorts of nasty stuff.
Maybe a partial solution would be to consider the joint trip with your GF cancelled, but that doesn't mean that you have to stay home. Is there a friend that you could go with - I heard that Kate Hudson is available now...maybe she'd want to go?
Why decimate your enjoyment?
That's a bad reference, because Dr. "Hates Men" would blame it all on you...
Seriously, I've said it before and I'll say it again. This really screams of a lack of trust in her parents in their own daughter to make a decision.
This means that you cannot solve this problem. It has to be your GF who deals with the issue. Anything you do will seem like a blatant attempt to get their daughter to go away, and since "she can't make an adult decision", may do all sorts of nasty stuff.
Maybe a partial solution would be to consider the joint trip with your GF cancelled, but that doesn't mean that you have to stay home. Is there a friend that you could go with - I heard that Kate Hudson is available now...maybe she'd want to go?
Why decimate your enjoyment?
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Disneysue
Member
- In the Parks
- No
Your both adults
It doesnt matter if shes living at home or not. Your both adults and her parents dont have to like what shes doing. You should not have even asked them in the first place, just maybe informed them. If you paid for everything already, maybe go without her. She needs to stop asking for permission from Mommy & Daddy at her age. Respect her folks, yes, but not let them make her life decisions for her. There is still time to change it.
It doesnt matter if shes living at home or not. Your both adults and her parents dont have to like what shes doing. You should not have even asked them in the first place, just maybe informed them. If you paid for everything already, maybe go without her. She needs to stop asking for permission from Mommy & Daddy at her age. Respect her folks, yes, but not let them make her life decisions for her. There is still time to change it.
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Well she did end up getting a job, guess my post wasn't clear enough. But still she doesn't get many hours there, not enough to move out or anything. Her parents say she just needs to be only focusing on school.
And as for the dad, mom wears the pants.
In other news, today is our 3 year anniversary. We celebrated last night. I got us tickets to see John Williams @ the Hollywood Bowl in Sept. So we're going to make a day of it and do Disneyland during the day then fight traffic to catch the show.
And as for the dad, mom wears the pants.
In other news, today is our 3 year anniversary. We celebrated last night. I got us tickets to see John Williams @ the Hollywood Bowl in Sept. So we're going to make a day of it and do Disneyland during the day then fight traffic to catch the show.
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3fordisney
New Member
I may have to agree on the parent's side. I am now 29 and the mother to a 4 yr old son. My husband and I got married when I was 21 and he 22, a month prior to our 22nd and 23rd birthdays. We had known each other for almost 5 years when we got married.
My now husband had wanted to do a WDW trip before we were married and I told him no. I knew how my parents would feel about that, not to mention the rest of the family. If she is from a strong, Christian family, the trip would not be approved and pushing the issue would make matters worse.
I, too, lived at home til I was married. Even though I was 21, I was still living under their roof and had to respect their home. Yes, I was a legal adult and could make my own decisions and did so. However, my parents were paying for my college education, providing me a place to live, food to eat, ect and did so without complaint and with great sacrifice. Its an issue of respect for your gf and her parents. If they are not willing to accept the trip and your gf is not wanting to take them to task about it, it would be better to just let it go. If you plan on marrying her, you have a lifetime to take trips to WDW with her. There is no need to rush it. Thinking back to my early 20's, not that long ago, I can see your points. However, being 21 does not make you mature. Its just a number and how you behave and handle life events determines your maturity level.
If you value your relationship with your gf and her parents, it would be best to just drop it. If you plan on marrying her, you would not be getting off to the right start with your in-laws and have plenty of time for trips. It sounds as if she is from a family with strict morals, which isn't a bad thing. Try to look at it from their point of view, respect their wishes and relieve undue stress on your gf.
My now husband had wanted to do a WDW trip before we were married and I told him no. I knew how my parents would feel about that, not to mention the rest of the family. If she is from a strong, Christian family, the trip would not be approved and pushing the issue would make matters worse.
I, too, lived at home til I was married. Even though I was 21, I was still living under their roof and had to respect their home. Yes, I was a legal adult and could make my own decisions and did so. However, my parents were paying for my college education, providing me a place to live, food to eat, ect and did so without complaint and with great sacrifice. Its an issue of respect for your gf and her parents. If they are not willing to accept the trip and your gf is not wanting to take them to task about it, it would be better to just let it go. If you plan on marrying her, you have a lifetime to take trips to WDW with her. There is no need to rush it. Thinking back to my early 20's, not that long ago, I can see your points. However, being 21 does not make you mature. Its just a number and how you behave and handle life events determines your maturity level.
If you value your relationship with your gf and her parents, it would be best to just drop it. If you plan on marrying her, you would not be getting off to the right start with your in-laws and have plenty of time for trips. It sounds as if she is from a family with strict morals, which isn't a bad thing. Try to look at it from their point of view, respect their wishes and relieve undue stress on your gf.
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hansel1
Member
First, when I was your age (14 years ago) I would have sided with you in a heartbeat. I would have thought our relationship was mature enough for anything, especially a trip together. But, having been in long relationships I would have fooled around with my girlfriend on that trip.
Next, Parents are odd people. They all are different with different views and opinions. I had long term girlfriends whose parents were strict and long term girlfriends whose parents didn't care. (by long term, I mean 5+ years)
Finally, after all these years and seeing both sides of the fence on this issue...I don't think I would want my 21 year old daughter going on any extended vacations so far from home. An overnight stay with friends, maybe camping or renting a local condo, but not more than that so far away.
You will see things differently as you get older as well.
Next, Parents are odd people. They all are different with different views and opinions. I had long term girlfriends whose parents were strict and long term girlfriends whose parents didn't care. (by long term, I mean 5+ years)
Finally, after all these years and seeing both sides of the fence on this issue...I don't think I would want my 21 year old daughter going on any extended vacations so far from home. An overnight stay with friends, maybe camping or renting a local condo, but not more than that so far away.
You will see things differently as you get older as well.
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NOLADisneyFan
Member
Ohhh boy...how should I put this...
Well, lets see...
It sounds like your Gf is a willing participant in the BS of her mom...it sounds like mom cracks the whip on everyone, the sons pay no attention, but the daughter is the one respectful one. Sounds like double standards and mommie loves the boys more than the only daughter...that kind of BS makes me sick.
Now as for you predicament, if your GF is not willing to stand up to her mom or try to talk with them and try to get them to be more reasonable, you are outta gas on more than the trip. Its time to reassess your relationship. If she can't stand up to them now, at 21, she never will. So unless you want your mother-in-law running your life FOREVER....then you need to reassess.
Anyway, I would say cancel the trip and make a big production about it, bring it up to her mom lots. Show your displeasure. There is no reason that her mother can't let you go. If she's hiding behind her values, that is a copout. You all can sleep in the same bed even on top of each other and not violate morals.
As far as the BS excuses...I was almost brought to violence with the "its the same as Disneyland" comment. That's just ignorant...why doesn't she just say "because the name of the state in which WDW resides begins with 'F'." Its just as idiotic.
Anyway, you have a lot to think about, best of luck.
Johnny
Well, lets see...
It sounds like your Gf is a willing participant in the BS of her mom...it sounds like mom cracks the whip on everyone, the sons pay no attention, but the daughter is the one respectful one. Sounds like double standards and mommie loves the boys more than the only daughter...that kind of BS makes me sick.
Now as for you predicament, if your GF is not willing to stand up to her mom or try to talk with them and try to get them to be more reasonable, you are outta gas on more than the trip. Its time to reassess your relationship. If she can't stand up to them now, at 21, she never will. So unless you want your mother-in-law running your life FOREVER....then you need to reassess.
Anyway, I would say cancel the trip and make a big production about it, bring it up to her mom lots. Show your displeasure. There is no reason that her mother can't let you go. If she's hiding behind her values, that is a copout. You all can sleep in the same bed even on top of each other and not violate morals.
As far as the BS excuses...I was almost brought to violence with the "its the same as Disneyland" comment. That's just ignorant...why doesn't she just say "because the name of the state in which WDW resides begins with 'F'." Its just as idiotic.
Anyway, you have a lot to think about, best of luck.
Johnny
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