JokersWild
Well-Known Member
To be fair, your alternative doesn't fit the rhythm of the end of the Muppet Show either. What we posted does, actually, so I'm not entirely sure what your issues are with it.
-
Welcome to the WDWMAGIC.COM Forums!
Please take a look around, and feel free to sign up and join the community.
The Sorcerer's Apprentice - Season 3 - Discussion Thread
- Thread starter jdmdisney99
- Start date
englanddg
One Little Spark...
Yeah, this scene didn't captivate me at all. Sorry.
Off to scene 4...the Labs!
Interesting tossing in ride details as the ride goes on.
Really nice script!
I liked this, a lot!
Ok, for me, here is where your script really takes off. I LOVE this.
However, it makes the ending seemed...er...forced?
Perhaps I missed it, but the last two scenes really didn't do much for me.
But, Scene 8 with Muppets of the Carribean? Lessee?
Oh, lackluster, even the fantastic image there....
I really don't care at this point...
Reading on, you all should have stuck that summary description before the image, to give it context...
No, toss it...too much. Leave HM alone, it's worn out already.
I won't comment scene by scene except to say it was too long. I read it all, but I lost interest a bit ago.
Also posting basically the original lyrics adds nothing.
Overall?
Holy friggin crap. What an amazing presentation. I had my gripes, but I'm frankly thrilled to see this sort of output this early. Your concept was solid, well thought out, and truly....well, to quote Kermit, "truly amazing"
I guess I'll just have to wait for the rainbow connection? I label you the "Dreamers"....that leave the "Lovers and me".
Off to scene 4...the Labs!
Interesting tossing in ride details as the ride goes on.
Really nice script!
I liked this, a lot!
Ok, for me, here is where your script really takes off. I LOVE this.
However, it makes the ending seemed...er...forced?
Perhaps I missed it, but the last two scenes really didn't do much for me.
But, Scene 8 with Muppets of the Carribean? Lessee?
Oh, lackluster, even the fantastic image there....
I really don't care at this point...
Reading on, you all should have stuck that summary description before the image, to give it context...
No, toss it...too much. Leave HM alone, it's worn out already.
I won't comment scene by scene except to say it was too long. I read it all, but I lost interest a bit ago.
Also posting basically the original lyrics adds nothing.
Overall?
Holy friggin crap. What an amazing presentation. I had my gripes, but I'm frankly thrilled to see this sort of output this early. Your concept was solid, well thought out, and truly....well, to quote Kermit, "truly amazing"
I guess I'll just have to wait for the rainbow connection? I label you the "Dreamers"....that leave the "Lovers and me".
englanddg
One Little Spark...
Give me some slack, I'm pulling this off the top of my head.
If you want me to have a week to write your lyric submissions, give it to me. To be fair.
englanddg
One Little Spark...
1) Red - It's a nice gif, but that isn't gonna wow people. It's cute, but it isn't WOW. You, my good friend, need to learn how to WOW.
That said, it is hilarious! And well animated!
This will go unnoticed by many, but to get the intro title to do those colors took some work, and I noticed.
While am EXCELLENT opening paragraph (seriously, it was fantastic) it also takes you out of the world you built.
None of us need a lecture about how amazing Jim Henson is.
That said, if someone does, that is what I will quote. SO well done!
Ok, that art is Red. Sorry, Red, in this case I don't think it works. Looks too much like Fantasyland had a child with Muppets.... It's not great...and really doesn't draw me in.
You addressed the IP, ok...but it's a side attraction, not your main, so why even waste the time on it? For my team it made sense, for yours? Not so much...
I am still trying to understand what is what with your presentation....
Red knows what HS is up to better than all of us, but I still question moving it across the park...
I really like the "blueprints"...took me a moment to figure out what was done there, but now that I know, really well done.
Yeah, the Muppeteers song shouldn't be sad...it was sad...it was neat, but you should have left it out, imho.
The Blueprints have nonsense on them, which is fine, but don't present them as "truth"...
And SI does not equal a Meter, for example. That sort of style is neat, and I am the first to say you should overwhelm people with immersive stuff, but when you do it again and again it becomes repetitive, and they catch on...and it loses the impact.
I still don't know what the idea is...
The ride vehicle gif is amazing.
"The animated concept art for our ride vehicle inspired by the Muppet Mobile Lab. It seats 5 comfortably. As seen in the image, the ride vehicle will be designed to sway through turns and sudden movements (not as drastically or quickly as in the image) but enough to give an added visceral experience to the attraction. As mentioned before, The Muppeteers will be a trackless dark ride utilizing a ride system complete with 32 AGVs (Automated Guided Vehicles) which will rely on Local Positioning Systems to navigate around the scenes."
TMI
I suffer the same issue. Edit and audit your words.
"Because the attraction is on two levels, an emergency magnetic breaking system between the vehicles and the track will be installed at the base of the descent from Level 2 (L2) to (L1). Commonly knows as an Eddy Current magnetic breaking system, we organize this through the installation and interaction between a non-magnetic metal, and a magnetic field.:
As this was mentioned, but not made clear, I don't think it adds much.
That said, it is hilarious! And well animated!
This will go unnoticed by many, but to get the intro title to do those colors took some work, and I noticed.
While am EXCELLENT opening paragraph (seriously, it was fantastic) it also takes you out of the world you built.
None of us need a lecture about how amazing Jim Henson is.
That said, if someone does, that is what I will quote. SO well done!
Ok, that art is Red. Sorry, Red, in this case I don't think it works. Looks too much like Fantasyland had a child with Muppets.... It's not great...and really doesn't draw me in.
You addressed the IP, ok...but it's a side attraction, not your main, so why even waste the time on it? For my team it made sense, for yours? Not so much...
I am still trying to understand what is what with your presentation....
Red knows what HS is up to better than all of us, but I still question moving it across the park...
I really like the "blueprints"...took me a moment to figure out what was done there, but now that I know, really well done.
Yeah, the Muppeteers song shouldn't be sad...it was sad...it was neat, but you should have left it out, imho.
The Blueprints have nonsense on them, which is fine, but don't present them as "truth"...
And SI does not equal a Meter, for example. That sort of style is neat, and I am the first to say you should overwhelm people with immersive stuff, but when you do it again and again it becomes repetitive, and they catch on...and it loses the impact.
I still don't know what the idea is...
The ride vehicle gif is amazing.
"The animated concept art for our ride vehicle inspired by the Muppet Mobile Lab. It seats 5 comfortably. As seen in the image, the ride vehicle will be designed to sway through turns and sudden movements (not as drastically or quickly as in the image) but enough to give an added visceral experience to the attraction. As mentioned before, The Muppeteers will be a trackless dark ride utilizing a ride system complete with 32 AGVs (Automated Guided Vehicles) which will rely on Local Positioning Systems to navigate around the scenes."
TMI
I suffer the same issue. Edit and audit your words.
"Because the attraction is on two levels, an emergency magnetic breaking system between the vehicles and the track will be installed at the base of the descent from Level 2 (L2) to (L1). Commonly knows as an Eddy Current magnetic breaking system, we organize this through the installation and interaction between a non-magnetic metal, and a magnetic field.:
As this was mentioned, but not made clear, I don't think it adds much.
englanddg
One Little Spark...
I REALLY LIKE the blueprint tactic. Well done!
That said, I want to ride it?
Ok, the buzzer.
Fail for not using Magicbands, frankly. I knew you stole this from Dumbo, but you really need to think beyond that. It was lazy.
Unlike the last script I read, this one doesn't sound like Kermit...
Why Seinfeld?
Wy Matt Perry?
Jeezus, I'm nearly 40 and these references are already dated...
Your script is boring to read.
It is too long, it has no elements to draw in a reader, and frankly, I can't comment more without being very rude...so I won't.
Overall...
A strong start...a bad ending.
Take it for what you will, but it's about holding attention as much as it is about all the details. You guys had a TON of details later on, and an AMAZING opening.
But later on it just, frankly, got boring. I had to slog through it.
Why should I care?
(just to remind everyone, these are off the cuff reviews!)
Read what you post before you post it...context and transitions are just as important as details. However, I give you guys kudos for having the most detailed (but yawn worthy) script I've read so far.
And that really isn't fair for your story, as you had a far better one, but you got dragged down by dialogue and poor character interpretations.
That said, I want to ride it?
Ok, the buzzer.
Fail for not using Magicbands, frankly. I knew you stole this from Dumbo, but you really need to think beyond that. It was lazy.
Unlike the last script I read, this one doesn't sound like Kermit...
Why Seinfeld?
Wy Matt Perry?
Jeezus, I'm nearly 40 and these references are already dated...
Your script is boring to read.
It is too long, it has no elements to draw in a reader, and frankly, I can't comment more without being very rude...so I won't.
Overall...
A strong start...a bad ending.
Take it for what you will, but it's about holding attention as much as it is about all the details. You guys had a TON of details later on, and an AMAZING opening.
But later on it just, frankly, got boring. I had to slog through it.
Why should I care?
(just to remind everyone, these are off the cuff reviews!)
Read what you post before you post it...context and transitions are just as important as details. However, I give you guys kudos for having the most detailed (but yawn worthy) script I've read so far.
And that really isn't fair for your story, as you had a far better one, but you got dragged down by dialogue and poor character interpretations.
englanddg
One Little Spark...
IDI - We could do better with a logo!
Why is everything centered? This makes it very hard to read....
I get we were trying to make it seem like a "proposal", but we failed. We could have done better.
I think our use of spoilers instead of cluttering a final post was a good thing.
Ok, I'm going to stop this here, I can't review this...I think we had something solid. <grin>
Keep in mind, I still don't know the results, so I don't know what the judges thought?
We could be dead last, I've been there before too! <wink>
Again, these reviews are all for fun.
Why is everything centered? This makes it very hard to read....
I get we were trying to make it seem like a "proposal", but we failed. We could have done better.
I think our use of spoilers instead of cluttering a final post was a good thing.
Ok, I'm going to stop this here, I can't review this...I think we had something solid. <grin>
Keep in mind, I still don't know the results, so I don't know what the judges thought?
We could be dead last, I've been there before too! <wink>
Again, these reviews are all for fun.
spacemt354
Chili's
I was in and out, but I did appreciate the remarks!
I'm at fault for the detail in Team Goofy's. Next project needs to be a trailer more than an novel, if you know what I mean.
Just need to narrow down our stuff. Looking back we could have used less backstory (but I like backstory so that's why I included it!) And perhaps if there was less the reader could have gotten to the ride quicker, which could have made it better overall.
englanddg
One Little Spark...
Dude, I still don't know who won. I have avoided those posts.
You guys did amazing!
I was so impressed.
My posts were literally just nitpicks.
Voxel
President of Progress City
Feel free to send me a PM, even though I'm wasnt PM I still feel responsable for our showing.
Last edited:
MonorailRed
Applebees
IT WAS SO DEAD LAST NIGHT.
Rode all the mountains in the last hour.... fun stuff after work...
Voxel
President of Progress City
So jealous...IT WAS SO DEAD LAST NIGHT.
Rode all the mountains in the last hour.... fun stuff after work...
RMichael21
Well-Known Member
Well, I'm totally not jealous...IT WAS SO DEAD LAST NIGHT.
Rode all the mountains in the last hour.... fun stuff after work...
MonorailRed
Applebees
Well, I'm totally not jealous...
Have fun in Paris!
Let me know how Space Mountain Mission 2 is!
RMichael21
Well-Known Member
Funny you mention that... I went on Thursday, but Space Mountain is down all summer for refurb.
But I had a great time! BTMRR was outstanding and Crush's Coaster, Ratatouille and Pirates were tons of fun.