The Offical WDWMagic Chuck Norris Joke Thread

[Darth Tater]

In the monorail, las puertas are always warned to por favor manténganse alejado de Chuck Norris.

 

[Darth Tater]

There used to be 1,000 happy haunts in the Haunted Mansion before one of them tried to spook Chuck Norris.

 

[ExtinctJenn]

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

 

[trr1]

What is a dragon? a combination of Chuck Norris and a T-Rex. Chuck Norris breathes fire and can fly,a T-rex has small arms

 

[Darth Tater]

Once while at MK, a scooter ran into the back of Chuck Norris's ankles. The scooter is expected to make a full recovery by late September. The driver was not so lucky.

If Gaston, Hercules, and Mr. Incredible all got into a fight...the winner would be Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris accidently took a flash picture inside a dark ride. The CM's & surrounding tourists were quick to offer him an apology.

 

[Nemo14]

Chuck Norris knows what happened to Bob.

 

[Darth Tater]

Hidden Mickey's search for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can get in before the lock after a thread is already closed.

Chuck Norris once got into an altercation at F&G Festival. There were no survivors.

 

[Nemo14]

Chuck Norris wears his RFID band around his pinkie.

 

[dave&di]

I hate Chuck Norris, my 92 year old nan kicks Chuck Norris's butt!

Am i not grasping the point of this thread? I'm sorry, it needed saying!

(tip toes to the door and exits quietly)

 

[MaxsDad]

There once was a rumor that there were Nuclear Warheads loaded on ICBM's housed in silos within the turrets of Cinderellas Castle. Turns out it was just Chuck's apartment. When this got out, the USSR promptly dissolved.​

 

[Darth Tater]

I hate Chuck Norris

It was nice knowing you.

 

[dave&di]

It was nice knowing you.

I needed to say it, I feel better for saying it, I've wanted to say it for years now but felt too ashamed. But now I can release it as I am unknown to anyone here. I hate Chuck Norris, I hate Chuck Norris, I HATE CHUCK NORRIS!!! I can't stop! Woohoo!

(breaths a sigh of relief)

 

[Darth Tater]

Once a CM caught Chuck Norris line jumping. The CM was lucky & got off with just a warning.

 

[Darth Tater]

DAK's Kilimanjaro Safari uses elaborately themed trenches & barriers. This is to keep the lions safe in case Chuck Norris happens to ride.

Out of sheer respect, SGE does not operate when Chuck Norris visits MK.

On Jungle Cruise, the backside of water always faces forward when Chuck Norris rides by.

Chuck Norris is not required to keep his hands & arms inside the vehicle at all times.

Parents ask Mickey Mouse to take pictures of their children meeting Chuck Norris.

 

[MaxsDad]

There used to be 1,000 happy haunts in the Haunted Mansion before one of them tried to spook Chuck Norris.

Only Chuck Norris can scare a ghost back to life!

 

[StarWarsGirl]

If Chuck Norris is visiting WDW, any hurricanes that were supposed to be coming head the opposite direction.

 

[StarWarsGirl]

Chuck Norris knows where Bob Saget is; he's just not informing the rest of us.

 

[DisneyWall-E]

It is impossible to name a bridge after Chuck Norris because no one crosses Chuck Norris

 

[Mr Ferret 75]

To be a man you must;
We must be swift as Chuck Norris
With all the force of Chuck Norris

With all the strength of a raging Chuck Norris
Mysterious as the dark side of Chuck Norris

 

[SAV]

Chuck Norris once stomped his foot and the 7 seas lagoon was formed.