The Chuck Norris Thread!

[artvandelay]

If Chuck Norris killed Jack Bauer, Jack would stay dead.

 

[e4ymod]

If Chuck Norris killed Jack Bauer, Jack would stay dead.

That's IF he even sees Jack coming.

 

[diddy_mouse]

Chuck Norris gave a roundhouse kick so swift and powerful it caused two seperate events....the formation of the universe and the extinction of the dinosaurs.

 

[dr_teeth90210]

For those who missed SNL's "Young Chuck Norris" video, here's a link...

http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1654409/

 

[CaptainMichael]

For those who missed SNL's "Young Chuck Norris" video, here's a link...

http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1654409/

Many thanks!

 

[CaptainMichael]

Why the Walk of Fame was originally created:

Chuck Norris Fanboys:

Strategery? George, "Chuck we're gonna need ya in Iran." Chuck, "No problem, they won't know what hit 'em (laughs)"

 

[CaptainMichael]

 

[nibblesandbits]

Now that one makes me laugh! I love that Hooters has caught onto the Chuck Norris craze! :lol:

 

[CaptainMichael]

Now that one makes me laugh! I love that Hooters has caught onto the Chuck Norris craze! :lol:

You know Chuck has got to be loving this. Either that or he is scared that the whole world is now aware of his greatness and might be the next target in the War on Terror.

 

[nibblesandbits]

You know Chuck has got to be loving this. Either that or he is scared that the whole world is now aware of his greatness and might be the next target in the War on Terror.

Yeah...from has-been to people actually talking about him! My question is, how on earth did this catch on? (Besides the obvious of Chuck Norris's raw sexual prowess...:lookaroun)

 

[e4ymod]

Yeah...from has-been to people actually talking about him! My question is, how on earth did this catch on? (Besides the obvious of Chuck Norris's raw sexual prowess...:lookaroun)

I have a feeling it had something to do with the Walker clips on Conan O'Brien.

 

[nibblesandbits]

I have a feeling it had something to do with the Walker clips on Conan O'Brien.

Oh yeah...that would probably do it! :lol: Didn't think about that!

 

[Number_6]

Jack Bauer didn't need Conan O'Brien's help to show off his -kicking, he did it all himself in just four days.

Then again, Conan did pick to show off Chuck Norris' -kicking, so really which is better?

 

[Testtrack321]

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.

 

[dandaman]

When Chuck Norris has rare steak, he usually has to send it back for being "not bloody enough".

When Chuck Norris stands in front of a speeding train, the train goes around him.

Chuck Norris doesn't have a phone because he answers to nothing.

 

[figmentmom]

(...Jeff Foxworthy chimes in...):

If an episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger" has ever changed your life, you might be a redneck.

 

[darthdarrel]

(...Jeff Foxworthy chimes in...):

If an episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger" has ever changed your life, you might be a redneck.

Lot of rednecks on here!:lol: :lookaroun

 

[figmentmom]

Lot of rednecks on here!:lol: :lookaroun

...hee hee...

...uh-oh... :lookaroun

 

[artvandelay]

The bomb dropped on Hiroshima was not an atomic bomb, but actually Chuck Norris encased inside a bomb. After a test of the Norris bomb in the New Mexico desert, J. Robert Oppenheimer, inventor of the Norris Bomb, was quoted as saying, "I am become death, destroyer of worlds." Chuck Norris promptly roundhouse kicked him in the chops.

 

[FigmentJedi]

(...Jeff Foxworthy chimes in...):

If an episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger" has ever changed your life, you might be a redneck.

And 1... 2... 3.., ROUNDHOUSE KICK'D! (Jeff Foxworthy, not you...)