The Chuck Norris Thread!

Number_6

Number_6

Well-Known Member
At the end of King Kong, it was not beauty killed the beast, it was a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris that knocked Kong off the Empire State Building.
 
darthdarrel

darthdarrel

New Member
OMG! I was on Star Wars Galaxies tonight(AS Usual LOL!) and I was dancing in theed cantina when a group of guys started talking about Chuck Norris and I was like ok WTH is going on, why is this dried up old hag becoming popular again?
 
C

CaptainMichael

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
darthdarrel said:
OMG! I was on Star Wars Galaxies tonight(AS Usual LOL!) and I was dancing in theed cantina when a group of guys started talking about Chuck Norris and I was like ok WTH is going on, why is this dried up old hag becoming popular again?
Click to expand...
Conan O'Brien's Walker Texas Ranger clips + alcohol + college students + Chuck Norris' sheer awesomeness!
 
C

CaptainMichael

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
I hear that they are planning to once again change SGE. They will be adding Chuck Norris to make sure that Stitch will never escape again. Audiences will applaud after the heart-stopping finale in which Chuck kills Stitch, goes back into to time, and kills Stitch again. It will be called Stitch's Great Execution starring Chuck Norris.
 
Pongo

Pongo

New Member
In most guys, the left testicle is bigger than the right, but for Chuck Norris, both testicles are bigger than the other one.

Yeah. Think about that one.
 
dandaman

dandaman

Well-Known Member
Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.


I should probably bookmark that site... :lol:
 
Pongo

Pongo

New Member
Chuck Norris is unable to ride EE becuase, just like the Yeti and the coaster track, if he were to touch the mountain, the sheer force would make it crumble.
 
Woody13

Woody13

New Member
The gravitational field of Chuck Norris is what holds the solar system, the Milky Way Galaxy and the known universe together.
 
imagineer99

imagineer99

New Member
In Einstein's equation, "E = mc^2," the 'C' orginally stood for the speed of Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick. Realizing that this velocity was simply impossible to calculate, he downgraded it to the speed of light.

Add a Kick to your mail.

157149VBda.jpg
 
imagineer99

imagineer99

New Member
-Chuck Norris Hacked the Gibson

-Chuck Norris unraveled DaVinci's Code

-Chuck Norris finished the fibonacci sequence

-Chuck Norris calculated all the digits of Pi, and in the process got so hungry for dessert, ate 8,000 apple pies in 30 seconds. This feast was accompanied with whole milk, of course.
 

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