The Chuck Norris Thread!

[FigmentJedi]

That wasn't Tsutomu Kitagawa in the Godzilla suit in Final Wars, it was Chuck Norris. Why else would the monster fights be so short?

 

[e4ymod]

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

 

[CaptainMichael]

Expedition Everest was originally called Expedition Everest: The Legend of Chuck Norris, but Michael Eisner felt that would be too dangerous. Eisner was later roundhouse kicked out of his CEO position.

 

[nibblesandbits]

I LOVE Chuck!!!! That is all. :lookaroun

 

[CaptainMichael]

I LOVE Chuck!!!! That is all. :lookaroun

Nibbles is safe...........FOR NOW!

 

[nibblesandbits]

whoo hoo! Safe from Chuck! Although I don't see him...am I just seconds away from a roundhouse kick? :lol:

 

[imagineer99]

-Chuck Norris divides by 0.

-Somebody once asked Chuck Norris, "If a tree falls forest, and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?" Chuck promptly roundhouse kicked him and said, "I hear everything."

-In the Olympics, gold medals are givien to the athletes who came the closest to beating Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris has mastered the two most powerful emotions in an actor's Repertoire: the silent stare and the slightly bemused chuckle.

 

[CaptainMichael]

whoo hoo! Safe from Chuck! Although I don't see him...am I just seconds away from a roundhouse kick? :lol:

resulting in death yes.

 

[nibblesandbits]

resulting in death yes.

Great...well, good to know then. :lookaroun

 

[CaptainMichael]

Great...well, good to know then. :lookaroun

Wish I could save you, but my powers are no match for Chuck Norris.

 

[artvandelay]

Chuck Norris knows who killed JFK

Chuck Norris was Chuck Cunningham on the first season of Happy Days. Chuck was asked to leave the show because he was cooler than the Fonz.

 

[CaptainMichael]

 

[dandaman]

 

[CaptainMichael]

Chuck Norris doesn't have Superman pajamas, Superman has Chuck Norris pajamas!

 

[Connor002]

I want to pull the Walker Texas Ranger lever.

 

[diddy_mouse]

...Eisner was later roundhouse kicked out of his CEO position.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[AshAlytwins]

I heard that Chuck is the equation guy for the show "Numbers"!!!

 

[e4ymod]

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

 

[imagineer99]

-When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

-Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live

 

[WDWSwashbuckler]

One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Chuck Norris invented water.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.