The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

[21stamps]

Like Dr. Phil says, you can want in one hand and sh*t in the other and see which one fills up faster.....

It doesn't matter what you want, here. You have what you have. Also, I think you're wrong calling this coach "tough". He's not being tough, he's being borderline abusive. He's wrecking that kid. Probably for life. At an age we should be building our kids up, he's ripping the heart out of that kid and telling him he's not good enough and he's unwanted. And even if he never does it to your kid, your kid is seeing that, and your kid will internalize it too.

This is a tough situation to be in. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. It sucks that he's in charge of shaping such young lives.

T went thru something similar a couple of years ago.. during the indoor season and then when he guest played for a team in a spring tournament. The coach had previously played T a lot, and then the last season started pulling him every time he made a mistake. What happened was the opposite of the intended result. T lost his confidence, passed the ball quickly instead of ever keeping possession and challenging defenders,. Which means he wasn’t as valuable and sat out more. One game I think he played 5.5 minutes.

That specific coach is a friend of mine, and T played for him for 3 seasons. I will never allow T to play for him again, even though I think my son is partially at fault for getting in his own head. T didn’t respond well to him that final season, it made him withdraw so much that it has taken a long time to rebuild his confidence. That type of coach is not a good fit for T. For some boys it motivates them, for others it’s the opposite. He sent videos to me for T to work on, tried to work with him in practice, but T’s nerves and fear of making a mistake got the better of him during game time. It hurt him and diminished his love for soccer.

That was in Winter ‘17/18.. Since then, T has put so much work into his play. Practices constantly, does extra training with Coerver in the winter and did a summer camp with them this year, completely outside of the club’s training. He is motivated. He loves soccer again and it’s rare to see him outside or even inside without a ball at his feet.

I have talked to the mother of the player who’s not getting much playing time, explained this to her. That he should sign up for additional winter training with T, outside of the club, and see if he gets some confidence back.

I hope he does.

 

[Rista1313]

On a topic change the lobby smells like pizza and now I really want

 

[21stamps]

On a topic change the lobby smells like pizza and now I really want

Pizza sounds really good right now!! I’m currently in a Biggest Loser Challenge so no pizza for me.Lol

 

[MySmallWorldof4]

One last thing about our club-

2 of our players have older siblings who have been with the club for several years- they love their coaches and have had a good experience with those teams. Each one has had the same coach since age 7. Contrast that to our 3 coaches in 3 years.

My sister put her 1st grade son in the club’s rec program this year.. she didn’t want him to go select yet, but wanted more competition/better training for him than his school team. After 2 practices the youth director asked if he would come to an elite team’s practice- a year older than my nephew. He did, and has been going to their practices ever since.. along with his rec practices. He has also been a guest player in 2 games for that team... and was invited to play both Futsal and Unboarded Indoor with them this fall.

My sister was told that all he has to do is show up at tryouts and he is guaranteed a spot on that team.

My nephew is not like T... he is seriously in 1% of kids his age, in any sport. Not just natural ability and athleticism, but he understands the games tactically. That’s very rare at 6 years old.

He would be playing up a year with the highest level team, as the youngest player...
My sister said “Thanks, but no thanks. We’ll play futsal and unboarded, but I’m not ready for him to formally join a select team yet. He won’t attend supplementals, is not going to play spring soccer, but we may change our minds and let him attend tryouts in May, for next year.”
They told her that he will have a spot whenever he wants it.

I understand why he is getting that treatment, and I understand that this is competitive play...but I wish they would show some loyalty to current players too.

Anyway, just wanted to show the contrast between experiences. I think our team is just jinxed.

T was mad that the kid got rest, he viewed it as himself being the one punished. Oh he was so mad after that game.

I disagree a bit about lack of playing time. I do agree with the coach’s mentality of practices being where you earn your playing time in games- with both attitude and performance. Especially at 9 years old.. these kids need to work to earn a spot, and if you’re behind then do extra training to improve. I understand all of that.
The problem is, and where I definitely agree with you, is I think he has given up on 1 specific boy, and is just waiting to cut him from the team. Talk to his parents privately! Talk to him privately! Suggest what he needs to do, don’t give up on him! This specific kid replaced another kid who shouldn’t have been moved down (that family left the club over it and is now at a competitor club at the sam level as our team, where he deserves to be!). That’s a mistake made by the club at tryouts..they have a long year left together, do whatever it takes to make that kid better and so he can contribute more in games... even if it’s just suggesting to his parents what he should be doing in his off time. That’s where I feel the coach is treating them like high schoolers instead of 9 year olds. Kids can have slumps. We only have a roster of 9 kids, every kid needs to be able to play so we have subs. They keep the roster small because they want focused talent over bulk, so build that talent.. he must have done something right to make it in the first place.


I think the coach is trying to get this family to voluntarily move down before the spring season starts. The mother knows this now after what he said during the team parent meeting.. She won’t. She said it would be different if he would have communicated privately, but after that humiliation she is going to finish the year and then probably switch clubs (her older daughter also plays for them and would not leave as the mother loves her coach and good experience with them). The bylaws state that a player can not be forced to move down involuntarily between fall and spring. We went thru this last year with other players.. now this one is facing the same. The difference is we have a much more serious coach who will probably not play the kid more than a few minutes. Our coach last year was not like that, she was a really nice person, probably too nice, but not a good trainer. I just want something inbetween! Or a tough coach but a compassionate assistant coach to balance eachother out.

This coach needs to go. He doesn't sound like a good coach to me. One of the definitions of "to coach" is to teach. What kind of teaching is he doing? Do you like what he is teaching overall? Kids see everything and take things more to heart than an adult. Yes, he wants to win. That of course is the purpose of being in a competitive sport. As you said, that kid was put on the team because he had good qualities. The coach should be trying to bring them out. Maybe this kid is feeling so downtrodden because he sees how he is being treated. He has lost whatever confidence he has, so of course he will not be playing well. Your coach in my opinion as far as the definition goes sucks. The parents need to have a meeting not only with the coach, but with whoever runs the club. You don't treat 9 years olds who are still learning this way.

 

[MySmallWorldof4]

On a topic change the lobby smells like pizza and now I really want

Mmm... pizza!

Pizza sounds really good right now!! I’m currently in a Biggest Loser Challenge so no pizza for me.Lol

You can have gluten free pizza, sans cheese, and loaded with veggies. I do that.

 

[21stamps]

This coach needs to go. He doesn't sound like a good coach to me. One of the definitions of "to coach" is to teach. What kind of teaching is he doing? Do you like what he is teaching overall? Kids see everything and take things more to heart than an adult. Yes, he wants to win. That of course is the purpose of being in a competitive sport. As you said, that kid was put on the team because he had good qualities. The coach should be trying to bring them out. Maybe this kid is feeling so downtrodden because he sees how he is being treated. He has lost whatever confidence he has, so of course he will not be playing well. Your coach in my opinion as far as the definition goes sucks. The parents need to have a meeting not only with the coach, but with whoever runs the club. You don't treat 9 years olds who are still learning this way.

I think he speaks to harshly and flippant to the parents.. and I think he definitely has his favorite boys. But, T has learned more from his since season started than he did in an entire year with his coach last year. I think he is a good coach as far as game play and skills..but he’s horrible at parent communication... and I think there no excuse to not have utilized a sub enough in 90 something degree heat. I think what he needs is an assistant coach to deal with the sensitivity of young boys, and maybe even the parents.

I don’t agree that all boys need near equal playing time, especially at this level.. I’m not trying to sound mean.. but I don’t even give my indoor team equal playing time... although I am pretty close to it because it’s a school team not a select team.
I do think that the boy in question should be playing on a level below., I just don’t like how the coach is handling it, and I do think he can improve enough to get more playing time and finish the year. I feel horrible for the family, but I do think they need to get their son to work harder if they want him to play more...That’s part of competitive sports. If they stop loving it, or stop working at it, then they’re going to hit a slump. I think it happens to a lot of players., we don’t have a coach who’s going to go above and beyond to get the kid out of it- he still trains him, but not extra attention, which I what he would have in a perfect world.

does that make sense?

 

[DryerLintFan]

I think he speaks to harshly and flippant to the parents.. and I think he definitely has his favorite boys. But, T has learned more from his since season started than he did in an entire year with his coach last year. I think he is a good coach as far as game play and skills..but he’s horrible at parent communication... and I think there no excuse to not have utilized a sub enough in 90 something degree heat. I think what he needs is an assistant coach to deal with the sensitivity of young boys, and maybe even the parents.

He sounds like he'd make a great technical coach or assistant coach. But that they should hire a main coach who actually COACHES. Just my two cents.

 

[MySmallWorldof4]

I think he speaks to harshly and flippant to the parents.. and I think he definitely has his favorite boys. But, T has learned more from his since season started than he did in an entire year with his coach last year. I think he is a good coach as far as game play and skills..but he’s horrible at parent communication... and I think there no excuse to not have utilized a sub enough in 90 something degree heat. I think what he needs is an assistant coach to deal with the sensitivity of young boys, and maybe even the parents.

Good luck at practice tomorrow, and I hope the tournament ends on a positive note for the kids.

 

[21stamps]

He sounds like he'd make a great technical coach or assistant coach. But that they should hire a main coach who actually COACHES. Just my two cents.

Good luck at practice tomorrow, and I hope the tournament ends on a positive note for the kids.

I did add an edit to that post.. hopefully it makes sense.

Thanks! I hope so too.

Ok, enough of my soccer drama (sorry it went on that long!).. anyone have exciting plans coming up?

 

[MySmallWorldof4]

I did add an edit to that post.. hopefully it makes sense.

Thanks! I hope so too.

Ok, enough of my soccer drama (sorry it went on that long!).. anyone have exciting plans coming up?

Local fall fest where we live this weekend. The gym where youngest cheers is going to have all the teams show off their skills there. Unfortunately dd's team goes first at 9:40- 11 am. It is going to only be in the 50's. I bought her a long sleeved undershirt that is supposedly what soccer players wear when it is cold out. Hopefully it keeps her warm. Of course I volunteered myself to man their table, and volunteered dh to help them move gym equipment at 7am. He loved that! (sarc). My 2 sil's are staying with us for the weekend. They love craft shows. Other than that, nothing.

 

[FutureCEO]

Woke up at 2:30 AM, because of the nor'easter rain and wind storm (up and down the Eastern seacoast). Rain was loudly hitting the a/c unit in the window of the bedroom. Dog was freaked out with the weather, so he's been like velcro next to me ever since I got up! LOL . . . Now, he wants my crackers and peanut butter.

@FutureCEO , I read that RI is also getting hammered from this storm.

Drinking coffee. That is all.

I woke up at 2 but couldn't go back to sleep until the rain ended but it looked liked a hurricane came through on my way here this morning.

 

[21stamps]

Local fall fest where we live this weekend. The gym where youngest cheers is going to have all the teams show off their skills there. Unfortunately dd's team goes first at 9:40- 11 am. It is going to only be in the 50's. I bought her a long sleeved undershirt that is supposedly what soccer players wear when it is cold out. Hopefully it keeps her warm. Of course I volunteered myself to man their table, and volunteered dh to help them move gym equipment at 7am. He loved that! (sarc). My 2 sil's are staying with us for the weekend. They love craft shows. Other than that, nothing.

that sounds like a fun weekend!!
T wears the Under Armor heat gear (but many brands make them now) leggings and mock turtleneck under his uniform when it’s cold. It helps a lot! Bring hot coffee or hit chocolate for you, husband, and your other kids.

We have not been to a fall fest anywhere yet, unless you count Halloween Haunt and Cedar Point..Lol. Please share pics. I love fall festivals.

 

[MySmallWorldof4]

that sounds like a fun weekend!!
T wears the Under Armor heat gear (but many brands make them now) leggings and mock turtleneck under his uniform when it’s cold. It helps a lot! Bring hot coffee or hit chocolate for you, husband, and your other kids.

We have not been to a fall fest anywhere yet, unless you count Halloween Haunt and Cedar Point..Lol. Please share pics. I love fall festivals.

Hot chocolate! That is a great idea!

 

[21stamps]

Hot chocolate! That is a great idea!

I wish I had photos of me from our Saturday games last weekend. I had multiple layers on, and a blanket, and a hot coffee.. and another hot coffee as backup. First game was High 30something degrees.. second was a whopping low mid 40s out.


If you’re bringing chairs then I would definitely bring blankets. And even holding the hot chocolate helps a lot!

 

[21stamps]

I should probably check the weather for this weekend.

Edit- Wow. Pleasantly surprised. This is perfect!!! I’ll still have a blanket, but 60s and 70s is much better than 30s-50s!!!... and no rain!!!!

Oh wait., lows in the 40s. Our first game is early AM. It might be cold then, but not as horrible as last week.

 

[Rista1313]

Pizza sounds really good right now!! I’m currently in a Biggest Loser Challenge so no pizza for me.Lol

There are variations of pizza you could make to curb the pizza craving... tortillas or flatbreads... packed with veggies but light on sauce and cheese. =D

 

[Rista1313]

Hot chocolate! That is a great idea!

Starbucks Peppermint Mocha (it's not just for xmas anymore!)

 

[MySmallWorldof4]

Starbucks Peppermint Mocha (it's not just for xmas anymore!)

It feels like winter here today. It is so overcast and the wind is brutally making noise against the house. I may make my own peppermint hot chocolate here at home this afternoon.

 

[Rista1313]

It feels like winter here today. It is so overcast and the wind is brutally making noise against the house. I may make my own peppermint hot chocolate here at home this afternoon.

I had one this morning... but it was mocha so I had a little caffeine boost too! =D

I don't love coffee, but can deal with it, if it's thoroughly hidden by chocolate.

 

[MySmallWorldof4]

I had one this morning... but it was mocha so I had a little caffeine boost too! =D

I don't love coffee, but can deal with it, if it's thoroughly hidden by chocolate.

You are a cauliflower purest? I am a chocolate purest. Don't taint my hot chocolate with coffee. Although, if I throw peppermint in it, I am tainting it aren't I. Such a hypocrite.