The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
Gabe1 said:
Both of my kids have popular names and go by nicknames though both professionally now use their full names, not on purpose but it what is what they went to the businesses with and awkward to say but I go by....and then it sticks.

I have always gone by my middle name once I had a say in it, friends early on in life started it and it stuck. I don't care for my first name and my Mom thought it was cool to spell it oddly which has always made me repeat the proper spelling, quires as to why I spell it that way (like I had a choice) I understand it was my Moms second choice. Gran (her MIL) objected to the first, being Catholic and my Mom picking first a more Jewish name Gran had a meltdown. I guess when naming my kids I put some though into 'normal' names that would work throughout time though some on the table for both were fun. I just didn't know if they would appreciate fun.

My Mom didn't like the name my Sis picked for my niece (niece has 3 last names for her first, middle and last name) just made up her own name for her new Grandaughter and to this Day is what she calls her. People are really funky about names.

I have a nephew with a real old fashion name that has dogged him. His family wanted to honor a loved relative by naming him that. The parents got brownie points within the family for their thoughtfulness and the kid just grew up being mocked.

I like that you put thought into the kids names.
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We really had to think a lot about it because there are some names that, in a translation between languages, would have resulted in massive teasing, depending on where we lived. For example, I always liked the name Zachary, but if we live in the Netherlands, could not choose that name because the shortened version is Zach/Zak. Zak in Dutch is "sack", commonly referring to testicles. And a very common name in the Netherlands for a girl is "Floor", which we obviously couldn't do if we lived in the states. We had to choose names that would work in whichever country we chose to live.
I read a dear Abby type thing once where a couple wrote in complaining that their parents were insisting THEY got to choose their grandchildren's names because THEIR parents chose their kids names and so it was now their turn to choose the names. They were wanting some hideous old-fashioned names that the new parents hated, or maybe were insisting they name the child after them? Whatever they chose, the new parents hated it and the grandparents insisted that tradition in their family dictated that the grandparents got to choose the names for the next generation, and that when the new parents had grandchildren, they would be allowed to pick the names. Um....no...not the way it works. Just because you backed down to pressure from YOUR parents doesn't mean your kids are obligated to give you your way. They are the parents...they have the right to choose their children's names. You gave up your rights of naming children. You could have told your parents no. Don't expect your children to fix your mistakes because you regret it. And you can't guarantee that the children's future spouses are going to agree to give up naming rights to their offspring. :rolleyes:
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
Gabe1 said:
Your right. Most siblings are a love hate kinda thing. I always said my Sis and I get along well because there is 2 states between us. We are so very different. Not badly just different worlds even when we were growing up in the same home. The only time it comes into play now is opinions on my folks an now my Mom and what we see or choose not to see.

My kids are 5 grades apart. While they loved each other, my son was always a pain in my DD side and she had little use for him growing up. Still, he could pick on her but if anyone else did something to her he was her guardian protector. When they were in college they became best buds. Still are. Go figure.
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Yeah, now I'm grateful for the distance. When we lived in the same town, it was really easy for him to take advantage of me and he can't do that now. I was talking to him on the phone once and he was telling me all about how they were looking to adopt or if they could find a surrogate, they might do that and it was too bad I didn't live there anymore because if I did, he would have a surrogate right there....I was like...you just ASSUME I would be willing to do that? Like I wouldn't even have a vote in the matter? And I MIGHT have, IF a person asked me and treated me with respect and such...but it's not something that you just pick someone out and say "You are going to carry my child for me and then give up your rights as soon as he/she is born." You can't take that level of commitment for granted. But that's the thing...I thought we were best friends...in high school, we had the same circle of friends for the most part. We were involved in the same school activities, were interested in a lot of the same things...we hung out a lot. Now I look back and realize it was more convenient for him. I had a big car and he had a tiny one that often didn't run. If I went along to the movies, he could use my car and I paid for the gas and he could go to town for free and bring his friends. In college, if he needed someone to work the information table, he could just call me. Our relationship depended on me doing whatever he needed and him not having to do a thing, and him getting angry at me if I had to say no. He looked at it as me being obligated and if I said no, he'd call our mom and she'd call me and yell at me until I relented. It wasn't until his friend told me about his comment and I moved away and he made NO effort to talk to me and the only time he's visited is when -I- bought his plane ticket and paid for his entire trip that I realized he didn't consider me his friend the way I considered him mine. I am someone he puts up with because of however he can benefit from me and when he can't get anything out of me, he can go back to studiously ignoring me. And the more I talk to our old friends from high school, the more I realize that he treated them ALL like that and as soon as they weren't giving him things, he lost interest in the friendship. So it's not just me...he just has a huge sense of entitlement. At least while I'm living more than an ocean away from him, he can't expect a whole lot from me.
 
Mr Ferret 75

Mr Ferret 75

Thank you sir. You were an inspiration.
Premium Member
Songbird76 said:
Yeah, now I'm grateful for the distance. When we lived in the same town, it was really easy for him to take advantage of me and he can't do that now. I was talking to him on the phone once and he was telling me all about how they were looking to adopt or if they could find a surrogate, they might do that and it was too bad I didn't live there anymore because if I did, he would have a surrogate right there....I was like...you just ASSUME I would be willing to do that? Like I wouldn't even have a vote in the matter? And I MIGHT have, IF a person asked me and treated me with respect and such...but it's not something that you just pick someone out and say "You are going to carry my child for me and then give up your rights as soon as he/she is born." You can't take that level of commitment for granted. But that's the thing...I thought we were best friends...in high school, we had the same circle of friends for the most part. We were involved in the same school activities, were interested in a lot of the same things...we hung out a lot. Now I look back and realize it was more convenient for him. I had a big car and he had a tiny one that often didn't run. If I went along to the movies, he could use my car and I paid for the gas and he could go to town for free and bring his friends. In college, if he needed someone to work the information table, he could just call me. Our relationship depended on me doing whatever he needed and him not having to do a thing, and him getting angry at me if I had to say no. He looked at it as me being obligated and if I said no, he'd call our mom and she'd call me and yell at me until I relented. It wasn't until his friend told me about his comment and I moved away and he made NO effort to talk to me and the only time he's visited is when -I- bought his plane ticket and paid for his entire trip that I realized he didn't consider me his friend the way I considered him mine. I am someone he puts up with because of however he can benefit from me and when he can't get anything out of me, he can go back to studiously ignoring me. And the more I talk to our old friends from high school, the more I realize that he treated them ALL like that and as soon as they weren't giving him things, he lost interest in the friendship. So it's not just me...he just has a huge sense of entitlement. At least while I'm living more than an ocean away from him, he can't expect a whole lot from me.
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Ouch.
 
betty rose

betty rose

Well-Known Member
Songbird76 said:
Yeah, now I'm grateful for the distance. When we lived in the same town, it was really easy for him to take advantage of me and he can't do that now. I was talking to him on the phone once and he was telling me all about how they were looking to adopt or if they could find a surrogate, they might do that and it was too bad I didn't live there anymore because if I did, he would have a surrogate right there....I was like...you just ASSUME I would be willing to do that? Like I wouldn't even have a vote in the matter? And I MIGHT have, IF a person asked me and treated me with respect and such...but it's not something that you just pick someone out and say "You are going to carry my child for me and then give up your rights as soon as he/she is born." You can't take that level of commitment for granted. But that's the thing...I thought we were best friends...in high school, we had the same circle of friends for the most part. We were involved in the same school activities, were interested in a lot of the same things...we hung out a lot. Now I look back and realize it was more convenient for him. I had a big car and he had a tiny one that often didn't run. If I went along to the movies, he could use my car and I paid for the gas and he could go to town for free and bring his friends. In college, if he needed someone to work the information table, he could just call me. Our relationship depended on me doing whatever he needed and him not having to do a thing, and him getting angry at me if I had to say no. He looked at it as me being obligated and if I said no, he'd call our mom and she'd call me and yell at me until I relented. It wasn't until his friend told me about his comment and I moved away and he made NO effort to talk to me and the only time he's visited is when -I- bought his plane ticket and paid for his entire trip that I realized he didn't consider me his friend the way I considered him mine. I am someone he puts up with because of however he can benefit from me and when he can't get anything out of me, he can go back to studiously ignoring me. And the more I talk to our old friends from high school, the more I realize that he treated them ALL like that and as soon as they weren't giving him things, he lost interest in the friendship. So it's not just me...he just has a huge sense of entitlement. At least while I'm living more than an ocean away from him, he can't expect a whole lot from me.
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I'm sorry , but I'm glad you have an ocean between you. Sister and I live states apart...it seems to work pretty good.
 

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