Hello, friends.....Are you suffering from the embarassing effects of unsightly facial and body hair? Are you afflicted with painfully pungent body odor? Do you sometimes feel like your closest friends are pointing at you and whispering "smelly yeti?"
Well, they probably are...but now you can correct such unfortunate social events with....the Club.
That's right--the Club....as seen before on television, the Club is the proven leader in preventing car theft--and the new and improved model is perfect for helping prevent embarassing encounters.
Just observe the following demonstration: You'll notice that "Bob" (name changed) is an unsightly, slovenly, slug-butt whose very appearance causes his coworkers to huddle closer together and attempt to avoid his presence in all public venues. However, when "Bob" utilizes the Club correctly, such problems seem to melt away in a cloud of B.O., stale whiskey, and week-old Ritz crumbs. Observe how "Bob" grips the Club in his left hand while casually approaching "Andy" (name changed). Now, when "Andy" points at "Bob" and attempts to greet him with a comment formulated to appear friendly while in actuality intended to insult "Bob," "Bob" is able to circumvent the problem by striking "Andy" with the Club repeatedly on the temple, forehead, and cheekbone. After "Andy" crumples to the floor in a bloody heap, the remainder of the group makes an initial attempt to leave "Bob" at the table alone. However, watch what happens when "Bob" grins at them and fingers the Club in a menacing manner...miraculously, he is welcomed into the group and provided with several alcoholic beverages at no charge to himself!
Don't wait...order your own Club today...and remember..."Sometimes you need the Club when you in da club"
Now back to our regularly scheduled program....
