I will admit, this is an idea I recently had. What if the "dueling track" made famous by the Floridian Mr. Toad was used for another attraction? For this idea, let us turn back the clock...and wonder what might have been...
Imagine...What if the Imagineers who developed Walt Disney World were able to create new dark rides for the Magic Kingdom's Fantasyland to serve as analogues for the Californian dark rides? To replace Snow White, Sleeping Beauty. For Peter Pan, Mary Poppins. But for Mr. Toad...Ichabod Crane. Now, to me, this seems extremely silly, especially given that the more-fitting Liberty Square is just a hop, a skip and a jump away. So, for this idea, we re-organize. What if another idea came into play instead? Well, this is such an idea.
Fittingly located nearby the Mad Tea Party, Walt Disney World opened with a new version of Disneyland's
Alice in Wonderland dark ride. However, unlike its Californian counterpart, the Floridian Alice in Wonderland involves two tracks, each one containing a different adventure down the rabbit hole. In fact, here's a map detailing what it would look like. Some Imagineers were convinced that Mr. Toad would go on in Florida, but when plans fell through, the ever-resourceful Imagineers opted to work that concept into their Alice ride...
THE QUEUE
The ride is marked by a giant mushroom, upon which sits an "Alice in Wonderland" book. Surrounding the outdoor queue are various trees and flowers, providing ample shade in the Florida heat. Stepping into the ride building, our eyes are met by two never-ending parades of caterpillars, one on either side of a giant depiction of the rabbit hole.
As we wait in the queue, we see these caterpillars enter the rabbit hole and through a dark tunnel, thus beginning the journey into a world of nonsense and insanity. Surrounding the rabbit hole is a lush mural depicting the English countryside, with lots of trees and flowers. A lush river runs along the left-hand side of the mural, where some "nice and friendly howdy-do birds" can be seen nesting. On the right-hand side, the flowers gradually go bigger, as if we were lying in the high grass, letting them fill our field of vision.
THE RABBIT HOLE
At last, it's time to board. No matter what side you go on, all journeys in Wonderland begin with a trip down the rabbit hole. As we enter, we hear the voice of Alice herself, narrating: "My adventures in Wonderland began when I followed the White Rabbit down the rabbit hole. All of a sudden, I fell! Down, down, down..." Indeed, the fall is quite strange. The walls light up in strange colors. And if we look right above our heads, we can see furniture and other weird things floating right above our heads. At last, we "land" right in front of the Doorknob. He gives us a friendly greeting:
"Looking for the White Rabbit? Well, ha-ha, have a look around!"
It should be said that the Rabbit Hole scene is a mirror duplicate on either side, hence why it's walled off down the middle. From there, the ride is quite different, each side taking us through different vignettes from the 1951 film...
TRACK A (LEFT TRACK)
Once through the door, we find ourselves in a verdant forest. Those wacky twins, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum pop up from almost every nook and cranny, all of them giving out directions to find the White Rabbit.
"He went this way!" "No, no, that way!" Indeed, as we duck through the twists and turns of the forest, we can see the White Rabbit himself, late as usual, worrying to himself about how late he is.
Leaving the Rabbit behind, we enter the verdant Flower Garden, where all the flowers are singing "All in the Golden Afternoon". The visage of the Rose, the leader of the group, greets us as we enter. As we pass through the flower, we see all sorts of other flowers joining the song -- a Daisy
(ringing bluebells), a Lily, a group of Pansies, and a White Rose. Flowers that look like flutes and trumpets play gracefully, whilst a Thistle plays rock drums. Alice herself can be seen standing among the Pansies, listening delighted. In the air, we can see bread-and-butterflies and rocking horse-flies go gliding past. In keeping with the lyrics, some bread-and-butterflies stop to "kiss the tulips". Dizzy daffodils spin around in time to the music. We can even see the snooty Caterpillar, sitting on a mushroom, using his smoke to form letters.
"Who...are...you?" he asks. However, as we leave the room, we are met with the Iris, who haughtily exclaims
"Why, they're nothing but weeds!" Suddenly, from out of the bushes, a Dandelion and a Tiger Lily spring out and chase us away!
TRACK B (RIGHT TRACK)
Once through the door, we find ourselves on a beach. Through the use of static animatronics and a turntable, we can see a whole crew of sea creatures taking part in a caucus race. The Dodo, of course, supervises from atop a rock the animals are racing around. The waves crash along the shores, thus defeating the purpose of getting dry. Better watch out -- the water can spritz you if you're not careful! However, as we exit the beach, we see the White Rabbit wash up on the shores in an umbrella, bemoaning his lateness. Like in the movie, the beach leads the way to a forest. But don't expect to find the Tweedles on this track...
Instead, we enter the dark and mysterious Tulgey Wood. As we enter, we hear Alice say
"'Tulgey Wood.' Hmm, curious. I don't remember this..." Atop a sign reading "Tulgey Wood", we see a bird that looks like a pair of glasses. Across the way, a bird with a mirror in place of eyes. Better keep a sharp eye out--if you look at the right time, you might see a nifty optical illusion. The glasses might appear on the bird!
As we continue to glide through the wood, we see a whole host of strange creatures: Shovel storks, broom dogs, a birdcage bird (literally), an owl with an accordion neck. We pass by a pond containing ducks that look like horns, umbrella vultures frolicking under a waterfall, and frogs that look like a drum and cymbals, respectively. The final sight we come across is a strange one: We see birds with hammers and pencils for heads, working together to spell a message on wooden signs:
"DON'T STEP ON THE MOME RATHS". What are Mome Raths, exactly? Why, they're little, multicolored things that can swarm and form shapes. And it looks like they're forming an arrow pointing the way out of the Tulgey Wood!
TRACK CONVERGENCE
Then, no matter what side of the track you're on, the path becomes filled with tree branches, with signs on them leading every which way. These branches serve as a fitting entrance into the Forest of Confusion. More trees appear, replete with confusing and disorienting signs. Alice appears in the middle of the forest, just as confused as we are. Adding to the confusion, the Cheshire Cat appears at various locations, and disappearing just as quick!
TRACK A
As we exit, we hear Alice say
"I do hope I don't meet any more mad people." To which the Cat responds
"Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad here..." And with a strange laugh, the trees part to reveal the Mad Hatter's house. From the garden behind the house, we can hear whistling teapots playing a quirky melody. Passing through the hedges, we find ourselves on a giant tea table! Teapots dance and swirl around, blowing smoke musically. After passing through these teapots, we come across the Mad Hatter, the March Hare and Alice at the head of the table, singing "The Unbirthday Song". However, as we "jump off" the table, we come across the White Rabbit, standing next to an unbirthday cake that has a stick of dynamite in place of a candle! We leave just as it explodes.
TRACK B
A door in a tree opens up to reveal passage into the Queen of Hearts' garden. Here, we see panicked cards "painting the roses red" for the Queen. The path soon diverges to reveal an army of marching cards making ready for their boss. A herald trumpet alerts us to the White Rabbit, who announces
"Her Imperial Highness, the Queen of Hearts!" to great cheers; followed up with a half-hearted
"And the King", greeted only by a Mickey-esque
"Hooray!" Indeed, we find the Queen in the midst of a strange croquet game. However, as we leave, we see the Cheshire Cat appear behind her. He says,
"You know, we could make her really angry. Shall we try? It's lots of fun!" As we exit the scene, we hear a great kerfuffle happening behind us. What happened? Anybody's guess. Alas, we won't have time to find out, because the Queen's decided to blame us for it!
The doors to the Trial Room open, bringing us face-to-face with the Queen. And boy, is she ever angry! Almost immediately, we are greeted by a thunderous shout:
"Off with their heads!" Swerving wildly out of the way, we crash past her card guards.
"Stop them!" yells the Queen. But it's too late. We've escaped...or have we?
ENDING
Then, no matter what track you're on, the trip to Wonderland ends in the same fashion. The explosion of the unbirthday cake and the chaos of the Queen's wrath both serve as fitting segues into the smoke tunnel of the film's climax. As we zip through the smoke tunnel, we hear a cacophony of Wonderland characters saying their familiar phrases fill the air. As we head closer and closer to the edge, one voice rises above them all: Alice's.
"Alice, wake up! Please wake up, Alice! Alice! Alice! Alice...!" At last, we come across the Doorknob, his door opening once again...
With the chaos of Wonderland far behind us at last, we find ourselves back in the peaceful English countryside. An instrumental of the "Alice in Wonderland" theme plays, as we find Alice sitting underneath a tree with her pet cat, Dinah. As we pass her, she says
"Oh, Dinah, what a curious dream I had!" One final set of crash doors later, we emerge back in Fantasyland to a familiar voice:
"Step out to your left, please. When the car stops, step out to your left." We do, our journey through the wacky world of Wonderland brought to an end.
