Thank you so much WDW. Canceling our family's reservations for lunch during our vacation next month.
If the rumors are true, please kindly accept my sincere, genuine and heart-felt feedback as follows, for the benefit of the brand and as a token of esteem for your important and never-ending quest for improved profitability.
The business-school geniuses that you employ are doing a fantastic job of cleansing the resort from any and all experiences that run the slightest risk of being memorable, unique, affordable or entertaining.
I know, it's been an exhausting and time-consuming mission, spanning the course of decades, and as well all know, there is so much more truly important work yet to be done.
So many accomplishments, in the face of seemingly insurmountable opposition from the haughty, entitled and entirely unsuitable people that have the audacity to call themselves your customers.
It's sad, really. They just don't understand what's truly at stake, after all, and probably never will.
But that is their loss. Your bravery, grit and never-ending determination, especially in the face of such unwarranted, and let's face it, downright mean-spirited criticism, have been well worth all the relentless anxiety and scores of sleepless nights you've no doubt experienced along the way.
Because kids making noise and having fun at a restaurant (where families with kids go to have fun and make noise) must be ticking off your core customer, whoever the heck that is now, and God knows we can't have that.
Now that you have decided that the Wilderness Lodge is far too "exclusive" for anyone with a sense of humor or desire for whimsy to visit, I am sure you can proceed to reinvent Whispering Canyon Cafe as a safe, nurturing and exceedingly bland environment for the humorless, serious and "quality" clientele you so obviously long for.
No more shenanigans, thank goodness, because after all things were really getting out of hand.
Now that you have sanitized the atmosphere, I am confident in your time-tested and algorithmically-approved ability to comfortably re-work the food offerings, slyly and cunningly cutting whatever corners remain, to introduce the truly predictable, risk-free and sensible menu that all WDW visitors deep down must truly crave.
All at significantly higher and much-more-profitable prices, of course.
God bless you all and best of luck as you continue to fight the good fight for the benefit of those who truly matter most.