She left me.....and I don't know if I'll ever love Disney again...

[mbroschak]

Well... I suppose this is a cry out to a community that may understand what I'm going through.

My wife left me.

When I thought things were good, we were happy and we had spent one of our best vacations at WDW ever just two months before...she left me. For a more single life, to experience new things, because she didn't know who she was, because I wasn't perfect enough for her, whatever the reasons that I'll never understand...she left me.

She was my Disney partner.

The first time we looked into each others eyes and knew we loved each other was in the middle of each of our first Illuminations on the bridge between England and France. Our Honeymoon, a Savannah view at AKL followed by the most magical cruise line experience two people could have. And to follow that, 4 years of the most amazing Disney vacations at least twice a year that any couple in love could take. It was the place where we rekindled our love, we laughed, we shared in that special magic.

We joined Disney Vacation Club so that our kids would always have the magic too and that we would never lose sight of one thing....that we would always love each other through good times and bad. Until she changed.

I love Disney World more than any single place on earth, but I'm scared that I may never go back. From the first time I saw it, until the last time I saw it, it was with her. I've never known WDW any other way. Every inch of those parks has her name and our special memories written all over it right down to a Leave a Legacy plaque. What am I going to do? How am I ever going to be able to walk through those gates again without memories of her...some of the happiest memories of my whole life.

Burgers at the electric umbrella, a table for two at Chefs de France, strolling through the world showcase when no one else was around, all of it was such a huge part of our lives...and now I can't even go onto this website because I don't know if I'll ever be able to return to the happiest place on earth. I even turn the channel when a Disney commercial comes on, just to avoid the emotion that follows. It is a place that brings most families together....but all it reminds me of is a family torn apart.

I'm so sad.

Maybe someday I'll look back on this with a family of my own, kids and a beautiful wife that will want to share in that magic with me...but for now it's impossible for me to see the forest for the trees. I don't know if anyone else has been through this, but it is my hell and I wouldn't wish the way I feel upon my worst enemy...

 

[JoMarch]

It may seem difficult now, but you will find another Disney partner - one who deserves you - and one day you will be able to enjoy the "magic" again.

 

[Vince3]

First off, major props for having the courage to "air it out".
I am sure all of us on this site have walked a mile in your shoes in one way or another.
Unfortunately , there is no quick cure or remedy that I can give you.Tough as it might be, be positive and never give up on hope.Time does heal.
Good luck!

 

[GoochDSA]

First, I'm sorry to read about what happened. Having not been married yet (I'm only 25 and my GF is only 22 so I feel we are too young), I have no idea how you feel.

However, I do suffer from PTSD. And after years of therapy, I must tell you that the best way to deal with the pain is to deal with it head on. Give yourself some time to heal a bit on your own, but then plan a trip for yourself, alone. I've read on a few threads how people have a great time on solo trips to WDW. It will give you a chance to reflect on the current events of your life, remember the good times (and the bad), and start all over. It wouldnt be an easy trip to take and deal with, but it would be the overall best way to help you get over it.

 

[zurgandfriend]

Hang in there

My brother in-law had a very similar experience. He and his Ex loved Disney. They took their children every year and eventually they purchased a DVC condo so that they would have a “home base” for their children and now, grandchildren. Then one day she said “It’s over. I want to be single. “
It was very difficult for my brother in-law at first but now he loves Disney more than ever. He just told himself that he would not let a bad experience ruin something that he enjoys so much.
He has brought his grandchildren and introduced them wonders of WDW, believe me he is their favorite grandparent! He has arranged some of his visits when my family goes, touring a park sometimes, having a meal or two with us and taking my son for an afternoon and giving DW and me some together time, yet not “clinging on’ to us either. He also got a Mickey Mouse tattoo and he wears a Mickey Mouse watch. These were both great conversation starters and he met a very nice lady that is also “Disney nut.”
Hang in there, if you fall off a horse you get back on. If you love WDW, visit. Instead of being sad about past experiences look for new ones. Watch the children’s sheer joy at seeing a character or riding Dumbo or whatever. Talk to people, sure they might be attached but I’m guessing that they have a friend who isn’t. Indicate that you love WDW on face-book or on any internet dating sites that you join. I will bet you that you will meet someone and that WDW will be one of things you have in common.
Okay I’ll take off my Dr. Phil, hat now, Good Luck!

 

[majortom1981]

hmm

It will take time. I had almost the same experience with Great Adventure but i was able to go back there again (yes I know its not wdw).


I think if you go there without her, either by yourself or family and concentrate on the theming and being in disney you will forget about her, or will atleast not associate disney with her Anymore.

PS there are a lot fo people out there who love disney. I have not seen anybody who will say no to a disney vacation. Just think of it as a way to find somebody who likes disney as much as you do .

 

[palmage]

Time heals all wounds.......
You'll find another, trust me I did.

 

[brich]

Regardless of the circumstances, we will always hold on to memories of fond experiences of our past. Be it separations from loved ones as in your situation or through an untimely passing. There's no reason you shouldn't hold on to those fond memories. They're yours to keep. But we also have lots of room for new memories so that we can keep our past and continue to have new ones.

Probably difficult right now as you try to reason with the situation but take peace in what you had and know that you can have that again in some shape or form. We're a tough, resilient creature. This is only a test, a challenge and it will make you a better, stronger person if you allow it to. Or you can succumb. The choice is yours. I say, pick yourself back up. Whats done is done. Brush your self off and get back to living your life. You'll be back to WDW and yes, you relive all those fond memories again and again. But it shouldn't get in the way of creating new, more magical memories. You'd be surprised how what seems like the end is really the beginning of a new chapter.

Best of luck getting through this. Of course it won't be easy but I'm sure you'll make it through it. Let it be a new chapter, not the end of the story...

 

[KungalooshAL]

It was when "she" left me that I started loving Disney. I've been there by myself 50 times and it works. I'll be there on my birthday in 2 weeks and my new wife fully understands. If Disney doesn't work for a while (it will eventually) try national parks, or even..dare I say it..Universal. And there's lots to do in Orlando outsdie Disney, believe it or not.

Best wishes m'friend. Kungaloosh

 

[luvlifeinfl]

i'm sorry

First I do not think I have even the correct words to help you find healing. I do want to say that I think have to be a good man considering that you shared your experiance with us that you really do not know, but the thread of life that connects us is our love for Disney.

Please know that this is a sad & hurting life event but you will be able to over come and know that their great things in your life that you can still share with others.

Disney has given you alot of great memories and know they can give you more.

 

[H20Babie]

First of all, I am so sorry that this happened to you. My (now ex) husband did the same thing but it was more of a "I love you but I'm not in love with you" kind of thing. When we dated, our first vacation as a couple was to WDW. All our significant milestones happened there ... his proposal, our honeymoon and when I told him I was pregnant. To be honest, I didn't really want to go back. I thought the memories would be too much. But they weren't ... I made new ones. The first time I went back was with our son, then 3. Then with family, and later with friends. I even went solo to celebrate my 35th birthday and graduation from university (I went back to school after our divorce). If I can offer any little bit of advice, it's this ... don't have any regrets. I have come to realize that we had just as many good times as bad and that every experience makes us stronger, better and smarter. It's hard, but you'll get there, and make many more happy memories.

 

[Dukeblue1227]

I am so unbelievably sorry and wish there was something I could just do or say to help you out. Unfortunately that just isn't how this works.

Ya know, everyone goes through their own things and they all go through them differently. I would never try to compare one situation to another because every situation is so incredibly different. Just, speaking from my own personal life experiences all I can say is, you will be able to. In time. I know you will. I know my words don't mean much and don't have anything concrete backing them... and I KNOW from experience how foolish sometimes someone's confidence can sound when what they're saying just seems simply impossible... but in time you will.

As some people on this site sadly know all too well about; my girlfriend of seven years left me last summer. We had shared numerous trips down to disney, but not only that, she was my one and only Disney partner. So we talked Disney all the time. When she broke up with me, I had an entire proposal planned out and saved up for for only 4 months out, and to be in Disney.

This past year was extremely difficult for me... and at times seemed impossible to get through each day. Honestly, every single day of this past year seemed so slow, so difficult, such a struggle... but now looking back on this past year; I actually feel like this past year was the best year of my life. I have come unbelievably far, and it seemed so impossible I'd ever get even one-tenth as far as I've come today, but somehow I did make it this far.

All along I got over other things little by little; but the one true thing I could not get over was Disney. I was not able to watch videos, movies, listen to the music, or think about it. It was the final hurdle for me truthfully. Now... I have a tripped planned for January I simply could not be more excited about. I've been watching youtube videos of disney again with a huge smile on my face. Been able to enjoy the music... everything.

I truly thought I'd NEVER be able to love disney ever again. Legitimately thought it would be impossible. But, I have made it.

Again, I'm not trying to compare my situation to yours or anything... only trying to let you know, on some level I know how you feel, what you're going through, and that I know in time you will be able to.

Feel free to PM anytime if you want to talk or get anything off your chest.

I would love to have said more but unfortunately being at work I need to get off this site immediately and have to go... but I wish you only the best and I am so sorry!

 

[wdwhoneymooner]

Hang in there. Firstly, don't deny the pain you're feeling. By posting here and sharing your thoughts with someone it's the first step in releasing your emotions and allowing the healing process to begin. I suffered from clinical depression (mostly from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome) and also posted my experiences here back in 2005.

The connections and memories you'll have of your ex- really shouldn't be forgotten nor suppressed. It's part of you and you can't deny those feelings. The hardest part for me were the flashbacks which triggered a gamut of emotions and I mean the harsh ones: sadness, frustration, anger/rage, self-pity. I found myself doing constructive activities to counter act these episodes; releasing all the negative energy in a productive manner. I can't say that I have successfully recovered from my depression, but I can say that it no longer has control of me and I have accomplished many things since breaking free of it's hold. I set one very important goal: if I could survive this until my next birthday (2005) then I designated it as my "Survival Day" and proved to myself that I could make it. It'll be 4 years in October.

Also, don't deny yourself the enjoyment of visiting WDW from now on. I realize that this place will forever connect you and your ex- but if you never go back then she will indirectly "control" you for the rest of your days. You can't allow that. You cannot allow someone who's out of your life dictate any decisions you have in your future. She broke your heart but not your love for Disney.

 

[mousebymarriage]

I just want to say how sorry I am that you are hurting so much right now.
I know it's hard to believe but, you will find love again. Disney will obviously always have a special place in your heart, someday you will be able to make new memories with another love, just give it time.

 

[disneygirl1]

So sorry!!! Trust me, it will get better!!! I was in a similar situation a few years back... Matter to fact, I found out that my ex was cheating on me while on our Disney vaction together!!! I was absolutely devastating, but b/c our son was on the trip with us I held it together for him! Honestly, I never thought I be able to go to Disney again, for one b/c of what happen, and two b/c it was always a place we went together as a family, and I did not want those memories to haunt me when I was there! 'Cause noboby wants to be sad at the happiest place on earth!

Needless to say, my parents surprised me and my son a few years back with a trip to Disney the week my ex and I were supposed to get married. Guess you could call it and "un-wedding gift" :ROFLOL: Anyway, I was a bit nervous about going again, but it ended up being the best vacation my son and I ever had!!! We have been going back every year since and continue to have a magical time every time!! Yes, I do something think about the past, but the NEW memories of Disney now take center stage!!

Good luck... Time heals all things!

 

[Mukta]

We are a community here and we do understand your pain. I am so sorry for the pain you are going through.
I have been in a similar situation. It took me a year to go back to WDW and even longer to stop reminiscing.
My love for WDW and Disneyland topped my love for my ex. With time, I was able to regain the joy I felt there.
Please feel free to come and vent here anytime. Maybe all of the people on this thread who have been in a similar situation can meet up there sometime.

 

[mbroschak]

Thank you

I just wanted to say thank you for your understanding and compassion and I now have taken the time to realize that I'm not the first person that something like this has happened to. People that love Disney seem to think alike and it feels great to know that there are a lot of people out there just like me where life hasn't always come up roses, but they move on eventually which I know I will. Again, thank you

 

[Gucci65]

Sorry to hear that you are hurting and although you have been told a million times.................time will ease the pain.

I would not let the ex ruin Disney for you.

I honeymooned in WDW way back in 1988, so when I get divorced in 2001 it seemed like the right thing to do by having a divorce celebration about a year later!!!!

You will learn to love WDW for different reasons and eventually forget about the ones you made with the ex.

Trust me on this. I've been single for 8 years now and can truthfully say I barely bring to mind the memories of my married WDW life.

Good luck and God Bless You for what you are going thru.

 

[sueuk]

This happened to my son, and for 4 years was not able to see any reference to Beauty and the Beast or WDW / DLP without thinking of her. He is now in love again and last week told me that he and his girlfriend are planning to take her son to WDW next year - thats when I knew he was finally OK. Hang in there pet, your time will come again.:wave:

 

[corey154]

Not to make light of the situation, I have had a broken heart and it sucks, i was sick every day for months, I even lost weight...but as my grandmother used to tell me...honey another bus will be around in 15 minutes (meaning more men would be on the next one..lol) So honey you just go back to disney and remember another bus will be there in 15-20 minutes (depending what resort you're staying at...lol)

Also be smart in the break up with your finances and WDW vacation club membership.......us women can be selfish creatures so watch your back...sometimes we'll pretend to be nice to you just to get what we want...don't let her make a fool out of you!

Stay strong and remember we're all here to support you!:wave: