Here's a column in today's Orlando Sentinel :
Poor Stitch.
Instead of giving him a ride worthy of his comic genius, Disney sent its mischievous space alien on a desperate mission to rescue one of the company's biggest gaffes.
If Stitch truly were alive, he would get his revenge for this. He would snarl, stick his tongue up his nose and then wrap his jaws firmly around Michael Eisner's head. His sad tale is a microcosm of what is going on at Disney, where prices are up and creativity is down.
This story begins in 1995 when Disney gambled on a new kind of ride at the Magic Kingdom. Called the ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter, it was meant to terrify visitors with a space monster stalking them in a dark room. There was only one problem. Horror conflicted with Disney's prime directive of not offending the sensibilities of Disney's family audience. That's ABC's job (how about a Desperate Housewives ride!).
This is why Disney, which has no qualms about stealing moneymaking ideas, never ripped off Universal's wildly successful Halloween Horror Nights. Main Street USA simply is no place for men wielding chain saws.
Nor was the Magic Kingdom a place for Alien Encounter. To make it an acceptable fit, the Disney "Imagineers" toned the ride down so much that Eisner ordered them to jack up the intensity.
Here was the format: People sat in seats with bars lowered over their shoulders. The Alien was "teleported" onto a small stage in front of them. The lights went out. Various sounds, rattles and other special effects began, designed to simulate a prowling alien.
Even with all that, the Alien was not nearly as terrifying as those little singing droids at It's a Small World.
Once envisioned as the premier ride at Tomorrowland, Alien Encounter became a forgotten third fiddle to Space Mountain and Buzz Lightyear. In an unprecedented admission of failure, Disney announced it was dumping the ride before its 10th birthday. Even Mr. Toad lasted 27 years in his Wild Ride before he was ousted by Winnie the Pooh.
At least Winnie got his own format. Stitch isn't so fortunate. It seems that tightfisted Disney could not bear losing its investment in the Alien Encounter hardware, so it tinkered a bit and swapped out the Alien animatron with a Stitch animatron. The result is Stitch's Great Escape.
Disney seems to hope it can attract a younger audience by replacing horror with high jinks, but on the Internet, Disney-goers have reported several instances of screaming and crying kids. They are scared of the dark room and loud noises. Or maybe they're just commenting on the ride.
You know Stitch is going to be lame when a robot that serves as an opening act gets frightened, makes a squirting sound, looks down and says, "I think I oiled myself."
The highlight of the show is a warm blast of air shot into your face, scented to smell like a Stitch chili-dog belch. A press release actually makes this boast: "Stitch is the first Audio-Animatronics figure to spit."
Now there's a giant leap in technology -- stick a hose in a stuffed animatron's mouth and squirt water out of it.
Disney has wasted its last memorable movie creation in a tired format. Disney used to invent and create. Now it pulls things off the shelf.
It's too bad Stitch can't really escape from the Great Escape.
Mike Thomas can be reached at 407-420-5525 or mthomas@orlandosentinel.com.
Poor Stitch.
Instead of giving him a ride worthy of his comic genius, Disney sent its mischievous space alien on a desperate mission to rescue one of the company's biggest gaffes.
If Stitch truly were alive, he would get his revenge for this. He would snarl, stick his tongue up his nose and then wrap his jaws firmly around Michael Eisner's head. His sad tale is a microcosm of what is going on at Disney, where prices are up and creativity is down.
This story begins in 1995 when Disney gambled on a new kind of ride at the Magic Kingdom. Called the ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter, it was meant to terrify visitors with a space monster stalking them in a dark room. There was only one problem. Horror conflicted with Disney's prime directive of not offending the sensibilities of Disney's family audience. That's ABC's job (how about a Desperate Housewives ride!).
This is why Disney, which has no qualms about stealing moneymaking ideas, never ripped off Universal's wildly successful Halloween Horror Nights. Main Street USA simply is no place for men wielding chain saws.
Nor was the Magic Kingdom a place for Alien Encounter. To make it an acceptable fit, the Disney "Imagineers" toned the ride down so much that Eisner ordered them to jack up the intensity.
Here was the format: People sat in seats with bars lowered over their shoulders. The Alien was "teleported" onto a small stage in front of them. The lights went out. Various sounds, rattles and other special effects began, designed to simulate a prowling alien.
Even with all that, the Alien was not nearly as terrifying as those little singing droids at It's a Small World.
Once envisioned as the premier ride at Tomorrowland, Alien Encounter became a forgotten third fiddle to Space Mountain and Buzz Lightyear. In an unprecedented admission of failure, Disney announced it was dumping the ride before its 10th birthday. Even Mr. Toad lasted 27 years in his Wild Ride before he was ousted by Winnie the Pooh.
At least Winnie got his own format. Stitch isn't so fortunate. It seems that tightfisted Disney could not bear losing its investment in the Alien Encounter hardware, so it tinkered a bit and swapped out the Alien animatron with a Stitch animatron. The result is Stitch's Great Escape.
Disney seems to hope it can attract a younger audience by replacing horror with high jinks, but on the Internet, Disney-goers have reported several instances of screaming and crying kids. They are scared of the dark room and loud noises. Or maybe they're just commenting on the ride.
You know Stitch is going to be lame when a robot that serves as an opening act gets frightened, makes a squirting sound, looks down and says, "I think I oiled myself."
The highlight of the show is a warm blast of air shot into your face, scented to smell like a Stitch chili-dog belch. A press release actually makes this boast: "Stitch is the first Audio-Animatronics figure to spit."
Now there's a giant leap in technology -- stick a hose in a stuffed animatron's mouth and squirt water out of it.
Disney has wasted its last memorable movie creation in a tired format. Disney used to invent and create. Now it pulls things off the shelf.
It's too bad Stitch can't really escape from the Great Escape.
Mike Thomas can be reached at 407-420-5525 or mthomas@orlandosentinel.com.
