Complain, complain, complain...when life gives you lemons and all that. So, I've decided to turn the food pricing model that Disney has so aggressively followed the last decade into an advantage. First, you will need supplies. I recommend the following
- 5 deep welled wagons
- 1 old school Weber charcoal grill still in the box -
I recommend the model above since it is easy to remove ash.
- screwdriver
- 8-12 toddlers
- crescent wrench
- 170 pounds of charcoal briquets
- pliers (may not be necessary but when assembling the grill it can be really helpful on the step when you're putting on the vent cover)
- 600 pounds of frozen hamburger patties apportioned into separate 20 pound cardboard boxes
- 480 hot dogs (frozen, apportioned in boxes of 24 each)
- 532 slices of individually wrapped American cheese slices
- 5 adults/teenagers or one relatively large human for each stroller
- 3 water bottles filled with lighter fluid
- 3 more adults wearing backpacks full of Chick Fil A condiment packets (morons never monitor what is usually a fully stocked condiment station featuring high end mayonaisse), hot dog and hamburger buns. You're going to need big backpacks. The kind that are usually worn by folk who are carrying a small house (aka tent) and several weeks worth of food into the wilderness.
Step 0: Enter the park. Your toddlers will be on top of all the equipment you have stashed in the deep welled wagons. This will look strange to many an eagle eyed CM. If they wonder why the toddlers are riding so high in the wagon(s) assure them (the CMs) that you have more children tucked unobtrusively away underneath the top layer and that you certainly aren't going to open up an outdoor eatery in order to offset the costs of your vacation.
Step 1: Find an unobtrusive spot. In MK I prefer the crowded but manageable space between Splash and BTMRR, as near the water as I can get. I figure "George's hooting and hollerin' bbq" fits the themeing well enough.
Step 2: Assemble grill. Tools will be needed for this. You may have the urge to use the toddlers, but they really aren't so helpful. I find it is best to let them disperse into the crowds once you are in the park.
Step 3: Light the grill and get to cooking. Crowds are heavy enough in this area that I find the food really moves on its own. I've done a lot of research and find that $5.83/dog and $8.16/burger are really the ideal price points.
Two other quick tips. 1) One of the adults needs to be a smoker. You will need a lighter. But, the taste of delicious charcoal cooked meat really sells itself. 2) This is a tip that I learned from
@Monty. Get one of those fancy name tags that makes it look like you're a cast member. When someone comes up to you to see what's going on, you can then claim to be a Disney employee. I go with the name Billy Iger, Bob's beloved and eccentric nephew.
