My apologies to the entire board

[Club Cooloholic]

Allow me to begin by saying that, since I have been a member of this forum, I have had a ton of fun here, I have learned so much about WDW, and I have had some really great people answer questions for me and help me with my planning of WDW family vacations.

All that said, I have noticed that things here seem to all too often devolve into argument, including personal attacks, when people do not disagree on a particular topic, especially when that topic is the current state of WDW. It is a sad situation when people are incapable of civilly and respectfully discussing opposing views. While not alone by any stretch, I have without a doubt been one of the board’s offenders in this regard. For that I am truly sorry, and for me that stops right now.

I absolutely love WDW (as I’m certain most of us do) and all that it has meant to me and my family over the years, and I don’t see that ever stopping, regardless of what changes do or do not happen. I will continue to visit this forum for all of the wonderful reasons that I listed at the beginning of this post. What I will no longer do, however, is ruin this board with argument or any unpleasant back and forth, no matter what anyone else says to me or how they say it.

Again, I sincerely apologize to everyone here for the times that I may have negatively affected or otherwise ruined your experience. I can assure you all that it will not happen again, as I will keep in mind a saying that I recently heard - “you don’t have to attend every argument to which you are invited.”

I hope you all can accept my apology. And I also hope that your next trips to WDW are the best ones of your lives!

It can be hard to stay civil. We start get grumpy and pick at one another. I haven't really noticed too many mean comments from you

 

[Chi84]

There’s one other point I’d like to make. I’ve seen people try to pass off some of the most insulting, hurtful comments as “just jokes.” If your comment is at the expense of another and you’re the only one laughing, it’s not a joke - or at least not a good one.

 

[Raidermatt]

Personal attacks are of course not productive and should not be allowed.

But disagreement over issues, even Disney issues if that's what you/we want to discuss? The biggest problems with public discourse these days are tribalism and a lack of critical thinking. As long as the personal attacks stay off the board, there should be nothing to apologize for when expressing disagreement with a position. Unfortunately, for many, their fandom is literally a major part of their personal identity. So if you "attack" anything representing their fandom, their defense mechanism kicks in. (You can apply fandom to many things btw, not just entertainment fandoms).

This does not apply to everyone of course, but its far more than in the past. If a contradictory opinion upsets you, especially when it's about an entertainment conglomerate, you really have to ask yourself why.

 

[Lilofan]

When I was in the corporate world we had an informal rule that if responding to something contentious give it a 4 hour minimum wait before responding up to 24 hours if it could wait. Remarkable how that helped clarify. Sometimes you’d look back at your draft response and think “no, I don’t need to even send this”. We’re all guilty of quickly going off the rails sometimes.
I love this board WAY more than the others, discussions are generally interesting and helpful. I even learned about insurance in Florida . I can say this was by far the BEST board during Ian, hands down. And I find this board to actually be BETTER than some of the others on argumentativeness. Regardless OP thanks for the reflection and your post.

I use this mindset to stop and control impulse buying. I wait several hours or a day and if it’s not in my mind I didn’t really need to buy it anyway.

 

[LittleBuford]

Allow me to begin by saying that, since I have been a member of this forum, I have had a ton of fun here, I have learned so much about WDW, and I have had some really great people answer questions for me and help me with my planning of WDW family vacations.

All that said, I have noticed that things here seem to all too often devolve into argument, including personal attacks, when people do not disagree on a particular topic, especially when that topic is the current state of WDW. It is a sad situation when people are incapable of civilly and respectfully discussing opposing views. While not alone by any stretch, I have without a doubt been one of the board’s offenders in this regard. For that I am truly sorry, and for me that stops right now.

I absolutely love WDW (as I’m certain most of us do) and all that it has meant to me and my family over the years, and I don’t see that ever stopping, regardless of what changes do or do not happen. I will continue to visit this forum for all of the wonderful reasons that I listed at the beginning of this post. What I will no longer do, however, is ruin this board with argument or any unpleasant back and forth, no matter what anyone else says to me or how they say it.

Again, I sincerely apologize to everyone here for the times that I may have negatively affected or otherwise ruined your experience. I can assure you all that it will not happen again, as I will keep in mind a saying that I recently heard - “you don’t have to attend every argument to which you are invited.”

I hope you all can accept my apology. And I also hope that your next trips to WDW are the best ones of your lives!

I have found myself in your position multiple times and still haven’t learnt how to disengage and let go. I applaud you for your candour and hope you find a more productive and enjoyable way to continue participating in the forum. Many of us, myself included, would do well to take the same measured, self-aware approach.

 

[dreday3]

I think - it's not that a poster likes something and another poster doesn't, it's that the opposing poster insinuates (bluntly or passively) that the person who does like it is "stupid", "naïve", "ignorant", "ill-informed", and pretty much an idiot.

Now I don't (usually) get insulted by adult men calling me stupid on the internet (I just breeze over their posts thereafter) , but I can see that it would bother other people.
I do try to temper any complaints I have about something with also being respectful to someone who doesn't have the same complaints.

 

[Vacationeer]

The debates can be interesting. I think as a community though the problem lies with not being able to have certain discussions without being overwhelmed by negativity. It drowns out what is trying to be talked about. People get discouraged and the community shrinks.

 

[Minthorne]

I love you all equally. Except my favorite. You know who you are.

 

[Sirwalterraleigh]

It can be hard to stay civil. We start get grumpy and pick at one another. I haven't really noticed too many mean comments from you

I’d say that’s very accurate/fair

 

[Sirwalterraleigh]

I love you all equally. Except my favorite. You know who you are.

Am I gonna have to call the Cops to get you out of my bushes again?

 

[Minthorne]

Am I gonna have to call the Cops to get you out of my bushes again?

<sorry this was just better, it's October>

 

[Sirwalterraleigh]

I think - it's not that a poster likes something and another poster doesn't, it's that the opposing poster insinuates (bluntly or passively) that the person who does like it is "stupid", "naïve", "ignorant", "ill-informed", and pretty much an idiot.

Now I don't (usually) get insulted by adult men calling me stupid on the internet (I just breeze over their posts thereafter) , but I can see that it would bother other people.
I do try to temper any complaints I have about something with also being respectful to someone who doesn't have the same complaints.

Honestly…the problem as I see it is two-fold:
1. Everyone seems to think that their opinions are “facts”. Not true. We own our opinions but nobody owns the facts.
2. Judging Disney products and decisions are rarely - if ever - personal slights. They price based on large consumer groups…so we aren’t individuals. We shouldn’t look at how we buy as unique, customer tailored decisions either. We may shake loose what’s best that way.

I’ll be on that hill if you need me (I doubt it )

The debates can be interesting. I think as a community though the problem lies with not being able to have certain discussions without being overwhelmed by negativity. It drowns out what is trying to be talked about. People get discouraged and the community shrinks.

In my experience it’s usually seeing “tone” or “inflection” in a typed sentence…which can’t possibly convey that. We all fail at “interneting” some times. I do often.

 

[Club Cooloholic]

Another way to do it, is would you say what you're saying in public? If this was a conversation you got into while waiting in a line with the person behind you, would what your typing, be something you would say to that person in public? Now I realize that what someone is comfortable expressing out loud varies person to person, but it does usually help to think this way (when I can remember to!)

 

[Minthorne]

In my experience it’s usually seeing “tone” or “inflection” in a typed sentence…which can’t possibly convey that. We all fail at “interneting” some times. I do often.

This. 110%. I find reading a post out loud can give it a different voice than the one in my head and often elicit a new understanding.

 

[AndyS2992]

Users here have certainly become more hostile recently. This was the forum I always recommended to people however I have recently joined other ones and have found posting on them more enjoyable than here these days which is unfortunate.

A recent example was a few days ago I posted my bad experience with a recent Halloween party, my first and a birthday treat and posted my disappointment that it rained so all outdoor rides were closed, Pirates was closed, no Hocus Pocus stage shows, no parades, characters were moved or cancelled, the fireworks did go ahead in the rain, not a comfortable experience and I found the CMs handing out candy to be rather stingy. Just posting my experience and disappointment that such an expensive event I was looking forward to didn't pan out as planned and yet people felt the need to throw sarcastic comments my way which I felt was totally unnecessary and uncalled for.

I see other users getting treated far worse so should consider myself lucky but it makes for uncomfortable reading when people can't give a reasonable opinion without being attacked.

 

[Minthorne]

Users here have certainly become more hostile recently. This was the forum I always recommended to people however I have recently joined other ones and have found posting on them more enjoyable than here these days which is unfortunate.

A recent example was a few days ago I posted my bad experience with a recent Halloween party, my first and a birthday treat and posted my disappointment that it rained so all outdoor rides were closed, Pirates was closed, no Hocus Pocus stage shows, no parades, characters were moved or cancelled, the fireworks did go ahead in the rain, not a comfortable experience and I found the CMs handing out candy to be rather stingy. Just posting my experience and disappointment that such an expensive event I was looking forward to didn't pan out as planned and yet people felt the need to throw sarcastic comments my way which I felt was totally unnecessary and uncalled for.

I see other users getting treated far worse so should consider myself lucky but it makes for uncomfortable reading when people can't give a reasonable opinion without being attacked.

I'd email Guest Relations about your party experience. I went to party one year that was just a bad experience and wrote a nice email explaining my disappointment. Disney gave me an egiftcard refund for the 2 tickets.

 

[King Racoon 77]

I love you all equally. Except my favorite. You know who you are.

 

[Chi84]

I'd email Guest Relations about your party experience. I went to party one year that was just a bad experience and wrote a nice email explaining my disappointment. Disney gave me an egiftcard refund for the 2 tickets.

I was going to suggest the same thing. This isn’t the place to go into detail, but I’ve had wonderful experiences with Disney guest recovery.

The key is to be polite, concise and undemanding. We never asked for anything, but the few times things went wrong we were pleasantly surprised by Disney’s response. It’s one of the reasons we keep going back.

 

[ceecee101]

I think - it's not that a poster likes something and another poster doesn't, it's that the opposing poster insinuates (bluntly or passively) that the person who does like it is "stupid", "naïve", "ignorant", "ill-informed", and pretty much an idiot.

Now I don't (usually) get insulted by adult men calling me stupid on the internet (I just breeze over their posts thereafter) , but I can see that it would bother other people.
I do try to temper any complaints I have about something with also being respectful to someone who doesn't have the same complaints.

Yes it seems like when I was younger (a long time ago kids!) people could say someone’s idea was bad without saying that person was bad. My go-to phrase “let’s just agree to disagree and move on”.

 

[DonniePeverley]

Oh go on then .. your forgiven.