MJ's Mayflowers

[Uponastar]

well...see...it's kind of difficult...

But it turns out my brother is gay. And my mom is not reacting to this news very well. She's suspected it since he was a kid...but it's still not helping her. And I want to be able to help her...but I just don't know how to do it. I'm more or less ok with it. I mean it sucks not ever getting to have a sister in law...but I just want my brother to be happy in his life. So I'm really doing ok with the whole thing...but my mom is defintely not...matter of fact, she made a very inappropriate comment the other day about the fact that the Chippendale dancers are coming to town and my dad jokingly asked if she wanted to go...she said no...but under her breath she said something about maybe my dad could take my brother. My brother heard her and got really upset...and i would have too...that was totally out of line for her to say.

I just really don't know what to do. I told her she should go see a therapist...but she doesn't really want to do that...she went for a few sessions a while back, but hasn't really ever gone back. I still think she needs to deal with some issues with it though. I just don't know.

Wow.
Big one, Nibblies.
I always thought I'd be just fine with it if one of my daughters came to me with that news, but until it happens no one really knows how they will react. I'm betting your brother is relieved to finally have it out there. And I'm sure the support of you and your dad is very important to him.
I guess your Mom, being a Mom, had dreams for your brother that aren't going to turn out quite like she planned. She's gonna need some time to adjust to that. And she will. She loves your brother and she'll accept who he is.
I don't know how to tell you to help her though.
Has your brother tried a real one-on-one conversation with her?
Maybe if she were able to really let go to him about her feelings she might be able to better deal with it.
((HUGS)) Nibblies.
This is indeed a big one.

 

[Uponastar]

I'm so excited about the book. Will we get to see it? I want to scrapbook my last Disney trip using photoshop. I think it's going to be 100 times easier.

I can post some of it. . .maybe.
Like I said, I don't want to drive you guys nuts.
I really am proud of it though.

And digital scrapbooking is easy and tons of fun!
You'll love it!

 

[Uponastar]

Wow, I get here just in time for a head banging Fishy and a Nibblies with a problem. And now I have to go for a bit.
Be back soon!

 

[nibblesandbits]

Wow.
Big one, Nibblies.
I always thought I'd be just fine with it if one of my daughters came to me with that news, but until it happens no one really knows how they will react. I'm betting your brother is relieved to finally have it out there. And I'm sure the support of you and your dad is very important to him.
I guess your Mom, being a Mom, had dreams for your brother that aren't going to turn out quite like she planned. She's gonna need some time to adjust to that. And she will. She loves your brother and she'll accept who he is.
I don't know how to tell you to help her though.
Has your brother tried a real one-on-one conversation with her?
Maybe if she were able to really let go to him about her feelings she might be able to better deal with it.
((HUGS)) Nibblies.
This is indeed a big one.

That's all good stuff.

And I don't know how "cool" my dad is with this news...but I'm ok. It wierds me out a little...but I'm more ok with it then the rest of my family. And this news would kill my grandma. So that's gotta be kept secret around her too.

As I was just reading in the thread from yesterday...sometimes venting is helpful and this is really the first time I've talked to someone who isn't a close friend who knows my brother and me or my family. It feels good just to finally be able to talk about it.

My mom and my brother can't have real conversations though. My brother is a real hot head...and gets mad at everything. So any conversation they would have usually ends in a fight. With him yelling and cursing at her and her getting upset. They need to talk though...it would be really smart. And I keep trying to encourage my mom to talk to a therapist too. I really think she needs to.

 

[nibblesandbits]

Wow, I get here just in time for a head banging Fishy and a Nibblies with a problem. And now I have to go for a bit.
Be back soon!

no problem...see you later. :kiss: You're the best and thanks for listening. I think that's mostly what I need is for someone to listen. And trust me...you aren't driving any of us nuts with wedding stuff. If anyone drove anyone nuts...it was me last year with my own wedding! You should be proud of it though. That's a lot of hard work that goes into that. :lol:

 

[nibblesandbits]

whew! That lightening hit really close!

 

[nibblesandbits]

Yep...hitting right in my neck of the woods. I'm the blob by 270.

 

[joanna71985]

ok...I'm officially back now. Yay!

Yay!

ok...so I just got off the internet with my friend who's going to the army...this is what she said to tell you all:

God bless her for everything, and keep her safe.

aw...now I'm listening to COP! Yay! One of my favorites!

Mine too!

:wave:

:brick:

What's wrong Betty?

well...see...it's kind of difficult...

But it turns out my brother is gay. And my mom is not reacting to this news very well. She's suspected it since he was a kid...but it's still not helping her. And I want to be able to help her...but I just don't know how to do it. I'm more or less ok with it. I mean it sucks not ever getting to have a sister in law...but I just want my brother to be happy in his life. So I'm really doing ok with the whole thing...but my mom is defintely not...matter of fact, she made a very inappropriate comment the other day about the fact that the Chippendale dancers are coming to town and my dad jokingly asked if she wanted to go...she said no...but under her breath she said something about maybe my dad could take my brother. My brother heard her and got really upset...and i would have too...that was totally out of line for her to say.

I just really don't know what to do. I told her she should go see a therapist...but she doesn't really want to do that...she went for a few sessions a while back, but hasn't really ever gone back. I still think she needs to deal with some issues with it though. I just don't know.

*HUGS* Nibbs for helping your family through this time, and for helping to support your brother.:kiss:

 

[joanna71985]

Yep...hitting right in my neck of the woods. I'm the blob by 270.

Wow. Stay safe Nibbs.

 

[nibblesandbits]

*HUGS* Nibbs for helping your family through this time, and for helping to support your brother.

Thanks Jo!

It's a really tough situation and I never thought I'd have to deal with it. But this will definitely make me stronger in life.

 

[nibblesandbits]

Wow. Stay safe Nibbs.

Yeah...the lightening just made my moniter a really wierd color, but it managed to fix itself.

It looks like the storm is just sitting over my vacinity. It's just grown worse and worse right over my area. My friend even called and said it wasn't raining at her house...but she could see the line. She only lives like 10 minutes from me.

 

[joanna71985]

Thanks Jo!

It's a really tough situation and I never thought I'd have to deal with it. But this will definitely make me stronger in life.

Most definitely Nibbs.

I just wish I could be as strong right now with my problems as you are with yours.

 

[Fantasmic!329]

well...see...it's kind of difficult...

But it turns out my brother is gay. And my mom is not reacting to this news very well. She's suspected it since he was a kid...but it's still not helping her. And I want to be able to help her...but I just don't know how to do it. I'm more or less ok with it. I mean it sucks not ever getting to have a sister in law...but I just want my brother to be happy in his life. So I'm really doing ok with the whole thing...but my mom is defintely not...matter of fact, she made a very inappropriate comment the other day about the fact that the Chippendale dancers are coming to town and my dad jokingly asked if she wanted to go...she said no...but under her breath she said something about maybe my dad could take my brother. My brother heard her and got really upset...and i would have too...that was totally out of line for her to say.

I just really don't know what to do. I told her she should go see a therapist...but she doesn't really want to do that...she went for a few sessions a while back, but hasn't really ever gone back. I still think she needs to deal with some issues with it though. I just don't know.

That's all good stuff.

And I don't know how "cool" my dad is with this news...but I'm ok. It wierds me out a little...but I'm more ok with it then the rest of my family. And this news would kill my grandma. So that's gotta be kept secret around her too.

As I was just reading in the thread from yesterday...sometimes venting is helpful and this is really the first time I've talked to someone who isn't a close friend who knows my brother and me or my family. It feels good just to finally be able to talk about it.

My mom and my brother can't have real conversations though. My brother is a real hot head...and gets mad at everything. So any conversation they would have usually ends in a fight. With him yelling and cursing at her and her getting upset. They need to talk though...it would be really smart. And I keep trying to encourage my mom to talk to a therapist too. I really think she needs to.

Nibbles, I know this must be so hard for you.
I don't have any advice for you, but I just wanted to wish you the best.
Hopefully, your brother can live his life more happily now than he could before.
If you need us, you know where to find us.
(((HUGS))) :kiss: :kiss:

 

[joanna71985]

Yeah...the lightening just made my moniter a really wierd color, but it managed to fix itself.

It looks like the storm is just sitting over my vacinity. It's just grown worse and worse right over my area. My friend even called and said it wasn't raining at her house...but she could see the line. She only lives like 10 minutes from me.

Ooh, weird.

 

[Uponastar]

Thanks Jo!

It's a really tough situation and I never thought I'd have to deal with it. But this will definitely make me stronger in life.

You know, Nibbs, Moms are more acutely aware than others that the world is not kind to people who are different and don't fit the mold. A Father may be more likely to think, "He'll be okay, he'll find his way", while a Mom just wants the world to accept her child. . .even if that means that child must conform to make it so.
It's a shame that your brother and mom can't talk about this right now.
It's really what they need to do.
Your mom has to know this is not a choice. . it's who he is.

And you Nibbs. . .did you know? Do you want to talk about it?

Most definitely Nibbs.

I just wish I could be as strong right now with my problems as you are with yours.

Still no progress with your schedule, Jo?
Is no one getting back to you?

 

[nibblesandbits]

Most definitely Nibbs.

I just wish I could be as strong right now with my problems as you are with yours.

:kiss:

Your problems will sort themselves out too. :kiss: And you'll be stronger too.

 

[nibblesandbits]

Nibbles, I know this must be so hard for you.
I don't have any advice for you, but I just wanted to wish you the best.
Hopefully, your brother can live his life more happily now than he could before.
If you need us, you know where to find us.
(((HUGS))) :kiss: :kiss:

Thanks Freddy.

He seems so happy now. Well...moody still, but at least he doesn't feel like he's gotta hide it. I couldn't imagine what it would be like for someone back in the old days when it was basically shunned.

 

[joanna71985]

:kiss:

Your problems will sort themselves out too. :kiss: And you'll be stronger too.

But that's just it Nibbs. This one doesn't look like it's going to work out. After getting through 2 CPs without calling in, I probably am going to have to call in to work for the first time- and I'm not even going to be in FL!

 

[nibblesandbits]

You know, Nibbs, Moms are more acutely aware than others that the world is not kind to people who are different and don't fit the mold. A Father may be more likely to think, "He'll be okay, he'll find his way", while a Mom just wants the world to accept her child. . .even if that means that child must conform to make it so.
It's a shame that your brother and mom can't talk about this right now.
It's really what they need to do.
Your mom has to know this is not a choice. . it's who he is.

And you Nibbs. . .did you know? Do you want to talk about it?

You're right. They really do need to talk. I think it would help them a lot too. But he hasn't 100% come out to them...but they know he is. If that makes sense. Like he's got a boyfriend right now and everything. So they know...they just haven't really been told.

And me...yeah, I can talk about it. Did I know. Yeah...I guess I did. My brother always played with me when we were kids...Barbies and he dressed up in my dance costumes and stuff. When he was in his younger teens my parents would constantly find gay on the computers. I even found it on my computer a few times. And I know I didn't look at it. So, I did know...it's just the acceptance part of well...maybe he's just curious. But it never really turns out that way.

 

[dandaman]

What'd I miss? :lookaroun