DisneyPhD...
I've been there, and had to figure it all out for myself. I love Tofutti and Tropical Source. Now we are doing much better with the situation, but I remember it was very difficult when she was entering preschool because it was the first time that she would be away, if only for a few hours. I ended up giving the teachers a box of snacks that were acceptable for her to have, and stressed the importance of being kept up-to-date on class activities.
Probably the scariest experience was when we took her into Boston for the Scooper Bowl. There was a section for sorbet and soy ice creams, so I thought that everything would be fine. However, the person scooping the sorbet used the same scooper that had been dipped into the ice cream and then let it sit in milky water. I understand the concept of doing this in order to soften the ice cream for scooping, but when they do not grab a different scoop for the sorbet, it can be deadly. About ten minutes later she started to get really sick and her lips started to show hives. Thankfully, just down the street within walking distance was the Floating Hospital for Children.
If there is one problem that I have when we eat out is cross-contamination of allergens. At WDW we have not had many problems because the chefs will be happy to help. The hotel chefs need to be informed about her allergy because often the egg batter includes milk, so they will scramble it up plain for her. The problem tends to be pre-packaged foods that do not list potential ingredient warnings. Like with the popcorn incident. We need to know that we can trust the companies to do their part to help.
links to food allergy websites:
www.nfpa-food.org
(National Food Processors Association)
www.foodallergy.org
(Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network)
www.aaaai.org/public/fastfacts/cookbook.stm
(American Academy of Allergy, Asthma and Immunology) A list of cookbooks, with ordering information, for people with food allergies.
http://vm.cfsan.fda.gov/~dms/wh-alrg1.html
(Food and Drug Administration) Consumer fact sheet.
http://www.niaid.nih.gov/factsheets/food.htm
(National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases)
https://www.cherrybrookkitchen.com/items.asp
http://www.gakssnacks.com/default.aspx
http://www.divvies.com/
http://foodyoucaneat.com/food/NewRecipes.php
most of these sites will give you the 411 on common food allergens and recipes to try at home, as well as updates on recalls of products.