Lessons learned: who not to vacation with

[ILMdisneyfan]

Hello boys and girls!

Figured I'd give you a little insight into my recent experience travelling with friends.

We spent a week in a two queen room with plenty of space for the four of us, and I ended up wanting to pull my hair out in frustration at the other couple. Me and the wife generally enjoy a leisurely, but vigorous paced trip in Disney.

This other couple pressed their way into us standing about waiting for them to take pics with characters. Now I can condone short lines and waiting for kids to get their autograph books signed and pictures taken, because they're kids and this is their theme park. But I can't really justify standing in a 45 minute line to have friends our age take pics.

5 minutes? Sure. 10? Okay, whatever. 15? You're pushing it. 20+? Now you're encroaching on my vacation and removing from me the ability to wait in a 20 minute ride line.

Maybe I'm just talking out of annoyance, but I'm going to definately pay more careful attention and select more mature people to vacation with in the future. Or maybe people with kids so I can enjoy standing in line for characters a little more.

 

[harveyt0206]

Choosing a travel companion is always a tricky area in my opinion. I think you are especially brave to actually share your room with another couple. That is a huge no no for me personally. I need my space...:ROFLOL:

At least now you know how you feel about this particular couple and their touring style. Sorry to hear you had such a miss matched vacation.

 

[Computer Magic]

It goes to show good communication before arriving is important. Make sure you know their likes and dislikes and compare. Just because you share a room, doesn't mean you have to spend every second with them. I would have moved on and let them stand in line. It was important to them but not so much you.

 

[cdunbar]

I learned that once, I took my mom and my niece several years back. My niece is very girly, and her hair and make up would have to be perfect before we could leave the room. She would take a shower when she got up in the morning, one after we came back from the parks for dinner, and then one when we came back from dinner. The shower thing wouldn't have bothered me if she hadn't spent the next hour after she got out of the shower in the bathroom getting ready. She would complain that it was sooo hot, we were born in Florida and have lived here all our lives she knew it was hot out in July. I was willing to let all that slide till she complained about getting up in the morning. Everyone who comes down in the summer knows that it's cooler in the morning than in the afternoon, so in my mind it makes sense to get on up in the morning get started, and then come 3 or 4 pm come back swim and get ready for dinner but she disagreed. Now I travel with my best friend and she is the best travel person ever I say let's do this and she'll do it but then she'll say something she wants to do so then everybody is happy.

 

[Debbie]

I've learned to discuss the expectations before we leave for the trip. For instance---my kids know to use the restroom when we get gas or they are gonna hold it. My friends who have a habit of sipping on something and stopping once an hour----I'm careful not to expect to make good timing to reach our destination. As far as WDW--I say meet ya back here in an hour and go do my thing. No apologies.........or meet ya back here for lunch but I ain't waiting; I'm on a mission!

 

[moosie]

I can see how you were frustrated and sometimes it is even more difficult when it is friends. We just returned from a wonderful stay at WDL Villas and were a group of six adults and one 5 year old. We had three first-timers, one birthday celebration, 3 anniversaries, one tree nut allergy, one gluten-free and no dairy, plus one who is terrified of the characters. Needless to say it was a challenge to plan a trip that would meet everyone's expectations but it worked. My basic rule was that no one had to do anything or participate in any activities that they did not want to do (that included visiting the parks or meeting characters). It would be harder to do this with friends versus family.

 

[Pooh Lover]

Oh yes, I've learned that tough lesson as well. We used to travel with my parents, my sister and her family. NO MORE! My sister and her family would spend the entire vacation 50 yards ahead of us, rushing us from one place to another. Although I understand there is a lot to see at WDW, we are there for a week and running around is not necessary nor relaxing. At meals, they would finish in record time and leave, telling us they would be waiting for us when we finished. Not much fun! I refuse to go with her again but will be traveling with her 12 year old daughter and my parents in September. Trips to WDW should be carefully planned so that all parties are in agreement and understand what each other wants from their vacation. There is too much money involved in a WDW trip to let it be ruined.

 

[mousebymarriage]

I too have learned that lesson the hard way! In 2008 we traveled with dd13(11 at the time) bff and her family(mom, dad, dd bff11 at the time, bff's sis 10 at the time and bff's older sis 14 at the time) I swear I almost killed these people. The father complained about every freakin thing including the resort, food, too much walking, waiting in line, rides, etc. and the kids were just a PIA. The younger girl rode in a stroller, yes you heard me right in a stroller, the entire time and she was a complete brat. No she does'nt have any disablilty so there was no need for a stroller at 10 years old. The 10 year old refused to ride anything, had temper tantrums if her mother tried to make her ride anything and was fresh beyond belief. The 11 (dd bff) was better but didn't want to ride anything and complained about walking, the lines and being bored. The older girl was a bit of a pain at first but then even she couldn't stand her family anymore and decided to hang with us. When she did she was a completely different child, happy, laughing, wanted to ride evrything and didn't complain once.

i will never, ever travel with another family again. My sisters live in Florida and they usually join us in Disney which is fine but, I will never travel with "friends" again.

 

[blackthidot]

A good rule of thumb I use is that we probably are not going to spend every waking moment together. It is our vacation, we want and need alone time. You should have simply said..."Text me when you guys are done getting stuff signed and we will meet up" or you could have taken the KTW card and gotten fast passes or something? You do need to be careful who you go with though. I learned that the hard way myself one year...

 

[Disney05]

Our last WDW trip we took my wheelchair bound mother in law. My wife's two other sisters came to "help" with their mother. Needless to say the second they got on the plane, down to the day we left they were s***faced the whole time and never helped once. Yeah...so no more trips with that side of the family for me.

 

[RobnRachal]

I think every vacation with another family is a BIG eye-opener!!
We have friends that ended up coming to WDW with us twice. They like to spend a lot of time in the store, we eventually just said "well, we're heading here, we'll catch ya later" Too much to do. . too little time!! That's our motto.
We do like down-time, but we schedule that in. We are VERY upfront with anyone we invite now. We have a schedule, you can tag along, or not, choice is yours. Don't take it personally. . just like, we would expect, if there was something they wanted to do they would feel free to say "we're going here, let's meet up for lunch".
We went with my SIL and her family this last time and had a fantastic time. They had not been in 8+ years so their legs weren't quite up to the task (bloody stumps at the end. . lol) We were up front with our philosophy and after a few days being separate they decided they liked hanging with us cause they got more done. Their son has a pin-head sized bladder but other than that things went very smoothly. (love ya boy!! )
In the end remember. . you can be great friends at home. BUT, vacations are a whole other can o' worms!

 

[Dwarful]

Oh my gosh I love this thread! I took my daughter's girl scout troop (fifth grade girls) and family members a few years ago. A total of 36 in our group. We had done small over night camping events to get some practice in, plus all of our fund raising efforts really helped us learn to get along. Plus everyone in our group new the expectations, but they also new when and where meals were so they were free to go at their own pace. But 9 days at WDW still gave us new insight. In all that time we only had one girl cry once...in my mind that was pretty near perfect considering the # of 10 yr old girls and the length of our stay. Now they are talking about a reunion trip!

I think the key for us was we spread out. Even before kids I know my husband wouldn't share a room with another couple..not for a night, esp. not for a week at Disney.

 

[MysticOrient]

Friends, yes; family, NO!

We've vacationed several times with my family -- parents live there, sisters don't. We'd all get rooms (even my parents would get a room), but my hubby and daughter and I would stay at a DVC resort, while the rest of the clan would stay at CBR. Sounds OK, until you get a bi-polar sister involved. My last vacation was totally ruined by her. :fork: We had to take my daughter (7) to the clinic because she was running a 104 fever and had (we discovered) strep throat. After her throat culture, we spent the day (the 3 of us) going to Shell World and the Character Outlet -- nice day. However, my bi-polar sister said to me (and I swear I'm not paraphrasing), "Well, logic tells me I can't blame Lucy for getting sick, but...". She was upset that we all weren't spending every waking moment together. After I tore her a new one over that comment, I vowed to never again vacation with the family. The sad part is, my daughter was feeling guilty for getting sick. She said, "I'm sorry I ruined the vacation." That is something no 7-year old should feel... ever.

We're talking with friends of ours to go next year together, and as many have pointed out, we are setting clear expectations of "together time". For example, we'll rent a car; if they want to too, fine, if not, fine. But we're not going to expect everyone to spend every waking moment together.

Funny part is, though, when I told my mother that we're planning a vacation with our friends, she said, "Oh, you want to rethink that; traveling with friends can be really difficult!"

Um... excuse me? You mean more difficult than traveling with our whack-job of a family?? Hmmm... not so sure about that one!!

 

[HouCuseChickie]

I pray that I am not sharing a related horror story after our trip in Dec. My parents are meeting us for 3 days of our trip. They like Disney, but after living in FL for a number of years, they've soured a bit to the "magic." On top of that, they're vacation style is more relaxed than ours and have very little patience for certain things. I have intentionally planned all of our time at the MK on days when they won't be with us b/c I don't want to hear any negativity about spending too much time Fantasyland, waiting a while for a character, or get a guilt trip about the cost of CRT, BBB, costumes, etc. I've already suggested we split up for some of our time at the other parks or branch off for dinner to satisfy our individual tastes. They are too overwhelmed with all the dining options and still don't fully believe me that you need to make ADRs :brick:so they're just going to go with whatever I pick (they are adventurous eaters at least). As for the parks, I'm thinking about putting together secret touring plans for them just in case they get tired of our little kid centered plans. That's not to say our plans won't include a some time for "bigger kid" attractions, but our plans will include a lot of things for a 2 and 4 yr old. Maybe they'll make good use of the nap/rest time we're planning at the hotel each day so that we can reduce the crankiness. And hopefully they'll admit they're tired and take a bus back to the hotel if they're worn out before we're ready to go. Keeping my fingers crossed it all goes well.

 

[David Roberts]

I'm a little younger than the OP but my girlfriend and I will be sharing a room with another couple/friends of ours in August at POFQ. Hopefully I'm not posting in this thread the week after...:lookaroun

 

[disneygirl76]

My DH and I have yet to travel to with an other couple. We like to do Disney our way. And we want our friends to have a good time and well, the friendship to last. Whether your friends always run late, don't like rides, want to take a pic or everything, or don't want to see any characters - it is very hard to find another couple who does Disney like you do. So...we just don't do it. (We also don't travel with my husbands parents - my in-laws. Not good travel companions. So for the sake of my marriage - we avoid that too :brick.

 

[diddy_mouse]

A while back, my family took at trip to WDW after I graduated high school and I decided to bring my BFF along. Things were fine for the most part but she only wanted to ride the rides, didn't want to see any shows/parades/fireworks. I actually had it out with her on the bridge going to Tomorrowland during Fantasy in the Sky.

I felt like such a jerk at the time but luckily we patched things up that night and figured out how we'd enjoy the rest of our vacation.

Now my family was a whole other kettle of fish...my mom was not keen on riding a lot of the rides but my brother and I were. She would always get angry saying we didn't do anything she wanted to, yada, yada, yada. It was bad, but it could have been a lot worse...

Since then I am so careful in who I choose to travel with. That decision could make or break a vacation.

 

[mamamouse]

OMg i totally get it,I have 3 horror story "vacations" of Disney and I can say after many years I know now what combinations of people to avoid going with, and I've found that some people are great on their own but the exact opposite if you mix them with the wrong person I also will never again for the rest of my life share a room with anyone other than my own family,and there are some people who I can tour the parks with n have the best time ever but couldn't stand to even stay at the same resort as them LOL.

 

[loveofamouse]

I have vacationed with friends and family. I am very picky about who we vacation with. I have friends who I wouldn't consider even asking to vacation with. It may be that they argue too much(we argue but don't want to hear someone else's fight lol), maybe they are too "prissy" and would end up being whiny, or are just slow or something, or maybe our parenting styles are just too different to coexist 24/7 for an entire week. lol


My mom is very difficult to go to the parks with. She's not a rider but expects everyone to go to shows or whatever on HER schedule which doesn't accom. anyone else's desires. She is very controlling. She also is very whiny. We are Floridians, born and raised, but she'll complain about the heat, walking, whatever. lol. She's also diabetic but never eats the way a db should at home. Yet, when we are at the parks, she wants to eat every hour and if we say no, she pulls the db card. My dad, on the other hand, is a rider and very laid back. So we deal with her so he can be included. lol




Im a bit nervous about our upcoming trip in the fact that my 13yr old SIL is coming with us. She's a 1st timer but I really don't KNOW her at all. The last time dh or I saw her was 6yrs ago. He doesn't really know his sister either. Hopefully, she'll be cool. lol

 

[magiconmainstrt]

Cant share my stories, just in case their reading this, but rest assure--the more people you share your vacation with the more complaining and misschedules.
Whats important to you may not be important them.
So remember this is the time for your magical moments whether that is with company on your trip or not.