Is your child scared of rides? Read this.

[Disney Daddy]

This is such an interesting debate. I agree with everyone and would like to assert to OP that there are varying degrees of ride fear. Encouraging a child to go on Snow White or Peter Pan is very different than forcing them on a roller coaster or haunted house.

I was the only person in my family who didn't like rollercoasters. My parents (who are very wonderful and loving) would always make me feel bad about my fear of heights. They made me go on occasion and, while I did briefly enjoy myself, the fear outweighed the excitement and I resented my parents for making me go (and for making me feel bad if I didn't).

We are taking our DDs to Disney in 3 weeks and have discussed the rides at length with our oldest (who's 3 1/2). We will not be taking her on HM, but are encouraging her to go on POTC, Snow White and Maelstrom. because I think she will enjoy it while she's there. But if she decides she doesn't want to, we will take her out and go on to the next. There's plenty to do at WDW, no point in ruining any portion of our trip with tears and screaming

Interesting! I have been battling this decision with my own daughters...mainly my oldest. When we get to Disney, she will be 3 months shy of 4 years old. Naturally, she finds everything scary...until she tries it. I don't want to force my kid to do any ride that may terrify her. My oldest says no way to POTC, but I have been trying to prep her for other rides as well. I would really like to take her on Test Track because I KNOW she would enjoy that ride.

One thing I have been doing is letting my kids "experience" the rides through YouTube. I let them watch and I gauge their reaction. It seems to work pretty well because if it is something that she doesn't like, she'll come right out and say...that is scary. At that point, I scratch that ride off the list.

 

[Wilt Dasney]

on behalf of the millions of people whose ride experience has been altered by the screams of children whose parents followed this advise, I'd say to say a hearty "thanks a bunch".....

After a couple of times..kids do not do this....

That's a relief...to know a screaming kid only has to ruin "a couple" of rides for everybody around them to conquer their fear. Multiply that by every bawling toddler in the park during the course of a year, and what's "a couple" million ruined experiences for other paying customers to know that Junior isn't afraid of Captain Hook anymore? :lookaroun

(To the OP...yes, I feel a little guilty for joining what's become a dog-pile here, but I think it's appropriate, as I represent another demographic: The selfish guy who doesn't want to hear your kid scream during my rides, as opposed to the sensitive guy who's appalled at your parenting advice.) :king:

 

[thrupaytonseyes]

Umm if adolescent psych and child psych are the same please explain to me why I had to take two very different courses on my way to a degree in psychology. The approach you take with children is much different then the approach you take with adolescents. And there are many people that are appointed to a position at a job that should not be in that position.

 

[Brioli]

In your opinion.
I've yet to see any proof of your assertions.

The internet is NOT the place to become educated. Perhaps that's how many people get filled with misinformation.

Reading up on something does not make one educated on the subject, especially from only one source.

It means that you are not educated on the subject that you are talking about.

Wow...and who said it was from only one source or two or three or four???

I've studied this for years.....

Please if your going to debate with me, please be sure your facts are straight about me and what I have said.

 

[Brioli]

Nope it has a new icon. The icon is to identify threads started by slightly crazy people with big egos.:shrug:

It never ceases to amaze me how ugly people can be...thanks... I was trying to bring some positive laughter to this negative thread.

I believe in making light of a negative or difficult situation...

I'm sure thats wrong too...

 

[thrupaytonseyes]

I've decided that I have fallen into a pot of mostly over protectors....and I suppose I'm not really all that surprised I'm being ganged up on by them.

I knew I would probably get some negative feedback.

My mother was that way...

so unfortunately I had to learn everything the hard way. I am thankful my kids are learning while young, and are doing much better then I did already.

Believe it or not...everything that I stated you can find on the internet. Please educate yourself before drawing conclusions that I am wrong (Please read my posts that follow the original one, especially the one I copied and pasted, my original post is not clear enough)

I am far from overprotective. Yet I will not make my child do something for entertainment purposes only just because I think he should try it. My children are not spoiled, are not picky eaters, are allowed to try what they want to try, are smart, loving, and have positive self awareness. When you make blanket assumptions because of differing beliefs than you must expect backlash.

And as far as what you find on the internet...I can find ways of becoming anorexic, how to make a bomb to blow up your school, does that make it right or a complete truth? NO! Wikipedia itself is full of falsehoods. And if you have studied so much about psychology than you would know that there are hundreds of theories of what works and what doesn't work. And most of them contradict others. Studies, especially about how the mind works and techniques to correct problems of it, are easily skewed to prove a researchers point.

 

[Brioli]

Umm if adolescent psych and child psych are the same please explain to me why I had to take two very different courses on my way to a degree in psychology. The approach you take with children is much different then the approach you take with adolescents. And there are many people that are appointed to a position at a job that should not be in that position.

Let me be more specific. He is head of the psychology department of the Medical College of Georgia.

He has his Master's of Science in Psychology (focus is on) Child and Adolescent Development. Forgive me for leaving out the word "child" in my original post...they are very similar studies...you can choose your focus on one the other or both. Two different courses??? You will take several courses dealing with both types of psychology as well as adult psychology, environmental, sociology both here and abroad, etc...

You will also take many other courses that are not even relevant to child or adolescent psychology....your point is?

 

[Brioli]

Umm if adolescent psych and child psych are the same please explain to me why I had to take two very different courses on my way to a degree in psychology. The approach you take with children is much different then the approach you take with adolescents. And there are many people that are appointed to a position at a job that should not be in that position.

I would also like to say, short of giving his name, which I won't...that this man in NOT one of those people that was appointed to a position he shouldn't be. He has written many best selling books, and manuals for medical students. That doesn't just happen...We aren't talking about your basic promotion here. Why do I feel like most everyone here is in their 20's or early 30's, am I wrong about that?

 

[happymom52003]

For someone that is so sure of herself, you sure are putting alot of time into defending yourself. Is it really that important to you? I mean, I have no room to talk because I admit to spending more time on the computer than I should, but geez....the time you've put into defending yourself on this thread is kind of odd.

I do not think you realize how arrogant you are coming across. I also do not think you realize how many times you have contradicted yourself. If I were you, I'd take the high road and bow out of this thread now. You are going to develop a negative reputation on this forum.

 

[Brioli]

I am far from overprotective. Yet I will not make my child do something for entertainment purposes only just because I think he should try it. My children are not spoiled, are not picky eaters, are allowed to try what they want to try, are smart, loving, and have positive self awareness. When you make blanket assumptions because of differing beliefs than you must expect backlash.

And as far as what you find on the internet...I can find ways of becoming anorexic, how to make a bomb to blow up your school, does that make it right or a complete truth? NO! Wikipedia itself is full of falsehoods. And if you have studied so much about psychology than you would know that there are hundreds of theories of what works and what doesn't work. And most of them contradict others. Studies, especially about how the mind works and techniques to correct problems of it, are easily skewed to prove a researchers point.

One more time...I only stated the internet so that those of you with differing opinions can draw your own conclusions by researching the internet.

Out of all these posts I have yet to find anyone who has challenged what I've said with creditable information. I just see a bunch of opinions. Did anyone even take the time to see if what I said was right?

The internet by far is not my only resource.

 

[Brioli]

For someone that is so sure of herself, you sure are putting alot of time into defending yourself. Is it really that important to you? I mean, I have no room to talk because I admit to spending more time on the computer than I should, but geez....the time you've put into defending yourself on this thread is kind of odd.

I do not think you realize how arrogant you are coming across. I also do not think you realize how many times you have contradicted yourself. If I were you, I'd take the high road and bow out of this thread now. You are going to develop a negative reputation on this forum.

I have not contradicted myself when I stated in another thread how it's hard for me type and communicate what I'm trying to say, and that sometimes the way things are stated are not what I mean, I also accidently leave words out. I have distractions here at home (children)...and personally...it's a nasty day here so we only stayed at the park a short while.

It's not fair to assume that I am being arrogant or that I am odd. Matter-of-fact it's a down right nasty thing to say. To try and detect emotion through a thread is unfair (especially with no emoticons). So, if you are speaking for everyone on this forum, then maybe I am on the wrong forum.

I have not been ugly to anyone...and for the record...I am responding because I am bored and enjoy a good debate...nothing personal.

 

[disneyliv85]

Wow, gone for a few days and this thread got a little crazy! People can be very sensitive when it comes to their kids - which is quite understandable! In the future just watch how you word things. Your original post sounded very matter of fact and a bit pushy. Just relax and don't get so offensive. Everyone is just giving their opinions on your topic. It will all be allllllright

 

[Brioli]

For someone that is so sure of herself, you sure are putting alot of time into defending yourself. Is it really that important to you? I mean, I have no room to talk because I admit to spending more time on the computer than I should, but geez....the time you've put into defending yourself on this thread is kind of odd.

I do not think you realize how arrogant you are coming across. I also do not think you realize how many times you have contradicted yourself. If I were you, I'd take the high road and bow out of this thread now. You are going to develop a negative reputation on this forum.

Oh and what may sound like a contradiction to you, may be that I am tailoring my response to a specific person's situation or statement.

You can't sum up children and their differences in one 4 to 5 paragraph post. There are many scenarios. I just feel sorry that everyone took my thread so black and white. It would take me writing a book to really put it in the correct words and custom tailor to everyone's unique situation and kids.

I assumed that everyone would tweak it for their particular kids and situations...

 

[Brioli]

Wow, gone for a few days and this thread got a little crazy! People can be very sensitive when it comes to their kids - which is quite understandable! In the future just watch how you word things. Your original post sounded very matter of fact and a bit pushy. Just relax and don't get so offensive. Everyone is just giving their opinions on your topic. It will all be allllllright

I completely respect that, but I never once accused anyone of not doing what's right for their children. I just debated my side of things in general...

I don't know any of the families on this board...but boy they sure act like they know me.

If anything I gave creditability to what many other people were saying...

I actually felt like I didn't say it right, so I wanted to make that clear too.

I just simply shared what I have learned.

I am the one that people are calling Hitler, Nazi, Crazy, Arrogant, Odd, Sick, and Child Abuser...just to name a few.... for sharing this with others.

Last time I checked, name calling was for children.

I haven't called anyone names nor been ugly

Yes it is hurtful...

 

[happymom52003]

It's not fair to assume that I am being arrogant or that I am odd. Matter-of-fact it's a down right nasty thing to say. To try and detect emotion through a thread is unfair (especially with no emoticons). So, if you are speaking for everyone on this forum, then maybe I am on the wrong forum.

I was not trying to be nasty to you. I did not say that you yourself are odd....I said the way you are responding so defensively is odd for someone who is so confident that they right.

And whether you agree or not, I think you are coming across as being arrogant. I did not say "you are an arrogant person". I do not know you personally, so I have no idea if you are an arrogant person. I said "you are coming across as being arrogant". You yourself admitted to not being able to communicate what you really mean through typing, so I'm just trying to help you out here by telling you how you are coming across.:wave:

 

[thrupaytonseyes]

Let me be more specific. He is head of the psychology department of the Medical College of Georgia.

He has his Master's of Science in Psychology (focus is on) Child and Adolescent Development. Forgive me for leaving out the word "child" in my original post...they are very similar studies...you can choose your focus on one the other or both. Two different courses??? You will take several courses dealing with both types of psychology as well as adult psychology, environmental, sociology both here and abroad, etc...

You will also take many other courses that are not even relevant to child or adolescent psychology....your point is?

Yes I took many different courses dealing with many different facets of psych. My point is there are many theories that work for children that don't work for adolescents and vice versa, therefore, when you are studying for a degree in psychology you are required to take 2 separate courses.

And you are wrong in your assumption as to my age as well. I do, however, slightly exceed the upper limit of your thought. :animwink:

And I never once attacked you personally or called you names, but did feel personally offended by some of your generalizations of my parenting skills because I have a different view of how to do things and how my children will be growing up because of those views.

 

[kangaand2roos]

I have not been ugly to anyone...and for the record...I am responding because I am bored and enjoy a good debate...nothing personal.

Perhaps in all your time researching, you came across information on how it is important for all children to spend quality time with their caregivers, instead of being ignored for a computer "research" and debate. Your "advice" and "research" seems about as credible and believable as Octomom's advice and thoughts on child rearing :lookaroun Why don't you raise your children the way you want and stop being so concerned about how other people choose to raise theirs.

 

[happymom52003]

I completely respect that, but I never once accused anyone of not doing what's right for their children. I just debated my side of things in general.

Yes, you did actually. To maggiegrace in the other thread. Your exact words:

"Encouraging irrational fear under any circumstances is very damaging to your child, and will limit their abilities and experiences as adults. In my personal opinion, and I hope you don't take this wrong or become offended, you aren't really putting what's best for her or her feelings first by doing that. You are validating to her that she has a reason to be fearful. She is too young to make her own decisions or understand her feelings in regards to that."

 

[maggiegrace1]

I said I would not post here and I will try not to get in trouble..

You are not good at what you do and you have no idea what you are saying..

My parents told me many times that birds were not scary yet I still think they are and that is that..same with scary movies..I do not like them they SCARE me and I will not watch them.

My life is perfectly fine without having them in them.

I think you are the one who needs to keep defending yourself because it seems like everyone here who has posted is against what you are saying.

This is not Dr. Phil and you need to quit trying to push your analysis crap on everyone here..we are not going to change our minds and our children will grow up to be perfectly fine regardless if they do not ride a scary ride or see a scary movie.

I feel for your children if they do have real fears because you will make them do something they do not want to do.

You keep repeating yourself over and over and saying that you may have said something wrong yet you still keep on saying the same things.

Like happymom said..you did say I was not putting my daughters feelings first or doing what is best for her and that is exactly what I am doing.

I am putting her first..I will not make her do something she is scared of..I will not let her scream and yell while doing something she does not want to do..and I will not make her do those things because as her moher I am going to protect her and let her know that if she is scared of something then I will not force her to do something that will scare her more.

So you just maybe need to go somewhere else and try to push all your psycho analyzing bs on others and leave this be..

Apparently you are craving some kind of attention because no one else wants to listen to you talk about something you know nothing about.

 

[Brioli]

Yes, you did actually. To maggiegrace in the other thread. Your exact words:

"Encouraging irrational fear under any circumstances is very damaging to your child, and will limit their abilities and experiences as adults. In my personal opinion, and I hope you don't take this wrong or become offended, you aren't really putting what's best for her or her feelings first by doing that. You are validating to her that she has a reason to be fearful. She is too young to make her own decisions or understand her feelings in regards to that."

and that my friends is a fact...irrational fear...key word.

I do not nor will I ever agree it's ok to encourage or validate irrational fears in children.

and psych person ...please spare me the two courses deal....there is a Master's and a Doctorate that includes both fields..which he has.


Most psych docs that work with adolescents or children do not do just one or the other...it is usually both...again...I assumed that people would know that.

They are usually both child and adolescent docs....Look in your neighborhood phonebook...

well at least in the big cities.

and to the person claiming I'm not spending time with my children...you know what forget it...I suppose I do have more important things to do with my time, but I don't just sit in front of this computer and I can type very fast (which is part of the communication problem...) and ignore my children..

HOW RUDE!

Never in all my computer experience have I ever been so viciously attacked on a forum.

I am definitely in the wrong place, and to think this is a Disney forum...NOW THAT IS ODD.