(insert something here) walks into a bar...

No rhymes this time...So...it's bad joke and punny goodness! :lookaroun

Day One:
JetBlue to Orlando International...Great flight (on time...early even!) and the the flight attendants were :slurp:

A flight attendant walks into a bar...the bartender says, "We don't serve flight attendants here"...the flight attendant says, "Why not?" The bartender says, "Because you always try use the stool as a floatation device"

We arrive at the airport and head on to the timeshare (Vistana). We meet up with some family friends that were there and head on over to Epcot. While we're there, we meet up with this lady with the brightest orange hair ever (I'll post pics when I get a chance) and she's the biggest Yanks fan...and she was badgering us :lol: .

A Yankees player walks into the bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve Yankees players here." The Yankees player says, "Why not?" The bartender says, "Because you seem to have a knack for choking"
(awaits flaming :lol: )

Epcot had the F&W Festival going on...so we decided to partake in some delectables from around the world. Baked Ziti & Sausage :slurp: The Poddington beer was AWESOME...I highly recommend it...and the Guiness Soup...BRILLIANT!

A sausage walks into a bar...the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve sausages in here" and the Sausage says, "Why not?" and the bartender says, "Because I heard you were a pig."

We hit Mission:Space, Test Track, The Land, and SSE and then we went to eat at the ESPN Zone to watch the Red Sox and partake in greasy goodness.

An astronaut walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve astronauts in here." The astronaut says, "Why not?" and the bartender says, "Because you just sit around and take up space."

After we caught a couple of innings of the Sox/Yanks game we headed back to Epcot to watch Illuminations. That show is still breathtaking after all the times I've seen it. From there, we headed back to the resort to watch the rest of that LONG but nailbiting game.

A firecracker walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve any fireworks in here." The firecracker says, "Why not?" and the bartender says, "Frankly, we can't take the risk of one of you having a short fuse...and you'll always find a dud in a bunch."

 

[ACE]

Great trip report! Love the jokes! Here's one ya might like.

A diaper walks in to a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve diapers in here." The diaper says "Well I think it's time for a change."

We used to do these jokes as a warm up when I was in "The Leftfield Players". It was an improv comedy group I was in while stationed in Japan. This thread reminded me of how much fun it was.

Thanks again!
:wave: ACE

 

[MouseMadness]

That report gets two BIG from me!

is property of darthdarrel, inc., and can only be used with express, written permission of darthdarrel. (which I don't have, so don't tell him.)

Tenchu, did I hear my name? :lookaroun

I suppose that was about the best trip report we've had here. :lol: But now...

I'M SPENT!! :snore:

 

[WDWFREAK53]

Just thought I'd post a pic of "Big Red"

 

[TURKEY]

Just thought I'd post a pic of "Big Red"

Who is Big Red?

 

[WDWFREAK53]

Who is Big Red?

Big Red is the Yanks fan that was badgering us because the Yanks were up 3-0 in the series. We bumped into her everywhere and she'd always badger us :lol: (Met her at the ESPN Zone).

BTW...in that pic...she was wearing no shoes...IN MGM! EWWWW

 

[WDWFREAK53]

Pics have been uploaded.

http://photoalbums.wdwmagic.com/showgallery.php?cat=500&ppuser=1680

A photograph walks into a bar...the bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve photographs in here." The photograph says, "Why not?" and the bartender says, "Well, we can tell you're fine now so we can let you in...but we don't know how you're gonna come out."

 

[Irrawaddy Erik]

Pics have been uploaded.

A roll of film walks into a bar...the bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve rolls of film in here." The roll of film says, "Why not?" and the bartender says, "Well, you are pretty negative and we never can tell how things will develop."

 

[WDWFREAK53]

A roll of film walks into a bar...the bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve rolls of film in here." The roll of film says, "Why not?" and the bartender says, "Well, you are pretty negative and we never can tell how things will develop."

Will you be here all week? If so, I'll try the filet! :sohappy:

 

[DisneyJill]

A disposable camera walks into the bar and the bartender says "We don't serve disposable camera's in here" and the disposable camera says "Why not?" and the bartender says "Because if you take too many shots we have to throw you out."

:lookaroun

 

[barnum42]

(Don't know if this will translate to our American friends. I'll soon find out if you have this expression)
A car ignition system walks into a bar. The barman is relucatant to serve him but says "OK, I'll serve you - but don't start anything".

 

[WDWFREAK53]

(Don't know if this will translate to our American friends. I'll soo find out if you have this expression)
A car ignition system walks into a bar. The barman is relucatant to serve him but says "OK, I'll serve you - but don't start anything".

OK...both of those are great :sohappy: :lol:

 

[foxfire]

99 Martinis walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, olive you...get of of here now!"

99 Martinis walk into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve martinis here." and the martinis say, "What kind of bar is this?"

 

[WDWFREAK53]

99 Martinis walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, olive you...get of of here now!"

99 Martinis walk into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve martinis here." and the martinis say, "What kind of bar is this?"

HA HA HA!!! The Olive one is not only bad...(so bad that I actually like it) but it's got punny goodness as well!

 

[disneydummy125]

Very nice jokes everyone! Ok, my turn now!

A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, "Have you seen my brother?" The bartender asks, "I don't know, what does he look like?"

:lookaroun

 

[Al]

Excellent trip report, and great jokes :lol:

 

[Dr.Seeker]

Two blondes walk into a bar, you'd have thought one of them had seen it.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, the barman says ,"Is this some kind of a joke"?

A man walks into a bar with a duck under his arm, goes to the barmaid, "Here's my ugliest pig", the barmaid says,
"but that's not a pig"!
"I was talking to the duck..."

 

[ClemsonTigger]

Great read! Are you here Fridays and Saturdays as well?

Favorites were:
The Fairy Godmother walks into a bar...the bartender says, "What will you have madam?" and the Fairy Godmother says, "I'll have a Sam Adams." The bartender gives her a plastic towel for around her neck and a little one for the beer. The Fairy Godmother says, "What are these for?" the Bartender says, "Well, it's a bib for the bottle and you"

and


A wish walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't allow wishes in here" and the wish says, "Why not?" and the bartender says, "Well, because I hate when you get on the bar." and the wish says, "Why?" and the bartender says, "When you have a wish upon a bar, it makes no difference where you are!"

Not cause they are Disney theme...just original.

Great job with the Sox!