I'm going to Rant on all of My Problems...Any Advice? Desperatley need it.

[Uponastar]

Really? I always thought that being very dependent upon others was a sign of weakness. Self-reliance is in no way a negative quality. Indeed, if you can go through a "crisis" in your life and pull through on your own strength and will, and not that of others, are you not that much stronger by it? Does it not demonstrate more strength to accomplish things on your own?

"Holding it all in" and self-reliance are two different things.
And there is a huge difference between being very dependent and asking for help.
Realizing you need help and asking for it is a sign of maturity. That is how you develop your strengths. I don't think there's a whole lot to be said for going it alone, if you know that those who can help you are willing and able. There's a lot to be learned from give and take. Sharing your strengths and allowing yourself to be open to what others have to offer...that's the best of both worlds.

 

[figmentmom]

Really? I always thought that being very dependent upon others was a sign of weakness. Self-reliance is in no way a negative quality. Indeed, if you can go through a "crisis" in your life and pull through on your own strength and will, and not that of others, are you not that much stronger by it? Does it not demonstrate more strength to accomplish things on your own?

Indeed it can, in certain situations - if you're an ADULT. If you're an adolescent, you need the love and support of those closest to you in order to find your way thorough those tough times. Maturity comes with age and experience, and with it, self-reliance. Let me assure you, though, that reaching out to others for help and support is NEVER a sign of weakness, whether you're adult or adolescent. Being totally dependent on others is a far cry from asking for guidance.

 

[figmentmom]

Dot - great minds think alike!!!!!!! :ROFLOL::wave:

 

[Uponastar]

Dot - great minds think alike!!!!!!! :ROFLOL::wave:

I was just about to say the same thing...again. :wave: :kiss:

 

[Nemo14]

You two beat me to it, but I'll just chime in and agree with both Dot and Mary. Seeking help is never a sign of weakness, and I'm sure that many people in Littleton, Colorado, or on the Virginia Tech campus wish that others had had the strength and maturity to seek help.

 

[The Raven]

Indeed it can, in certain situations - if you're an ADULT. If you're an adolescent, you need the love and support of those closest to you in order to find your way thorough those tough times. Maturity comes with age and experience, and with it, self-reliance. Let me assure you, though, that reaching out to others for help and support is NEVER a sign of weakness, whether you're adult or adolescent. Being totally dependent on others is a far cry from asking for guidance.

I suppose that is so, but I don't see what being an adult has to do with it. Even in your teenage years you have within yourself the same potential to be everything that an adult is. You merely lack the mastery of it. That doesn't make you incapable, it just means you need to work a little harder at it. I think at times people severly underestimate the power of a younger person, dismissing their abilities because of their age.

One can do things on their own reasonably and efficiently. As far as "need[ing] the love and support of those closest to you in order to find your way thorough those tough times," that is nice and all but I for one choose to pass when I was fifteen. Since then I have been doing just fine. I'm not saying it is wrong to seek guidance, help, or support. I'm saying that going it on your own is perfectly reasonable. It is not evil and terrible for a youth to try to solve his own problems. If his own powers fail him and it is too much, then by all means seek immediate help. But it is not wrong to attempt success through your own strength.

 

[maggiegrace1]

Sometimes it is nice to know that you have people who believe in you even when you do not believe in yourself.

Being self reliant is a great thing..but just because you have people there to support you and encourage you does not mean that you are weak and can not do it yourself.

Having friends to cheer you on and tell you that they know you can do it..will help you to know that you can do it also.

I know when I have had some bad times and felt like nothing would ever go right..I got by with a little help from my friends..

 

[Uponastar]

You two beat me to it, but I'll just chime in and agree with both Dot and Mary. Seeking help is never a sign of weakness, and I'm sure that many people in Littleton, Colorado, or on the Virginia Tech campus wish that others had had the strength and maturity to seek help.

Good point, Betty.
Keeping things inside often creates a powderkeg situation that all too often erupts with devastating results.
So anyone and everyone...
Don't keep things inside. Don't wait till it's too late. There's always someone who will, at the very least, listen. Like us.

 

[maggiegrace1]

I suppose that is so, but I don't see what being an adult has to do with it. Even in your teenage years you have within yourself the same potential to be everything that an adult is. You merely lack the mastery of it. That doesn't make you incapable, it just means you need to work a little harder at it. I think at times people severly underestimate the power of a younger person, dismissing their abilities because of their age.

One can do things on their own reasonably and efficiently. As far as "need[ing] the love and support of those closest to you in order to find your way thorough those tough times," that is nice and all but I for one choose to pass when I was fifteen. Since then I have been doing just fine. I'm not saying it is wrong to seek guidance, help, or support. I'm saying that going it on your own is perfectly reasonable. It is not evil and terrible for a youth to try to solve his own problems. If his own powers fail him and it is too much, then by all means seek immediate help. But it is not wrong to attempt success through your own strength.

No.. it is not..but is not wrong to have people encouraging you to attempt that success through your own strength either.

Having a support system does not mean you are weak..Even the most successful people in the world have people standing behind them encouraging them and cheering them on.

 

[figmentmom]

I suppose that is so, but I don't see what being an adult has to do with it. Even in your teenage years you have within yourself the same potential to be everything that an adult is. You merely lack the mastery of it. That doesn't make you incapable, it just means you need to work a little harder at it. I think at times people severly underestimate the power of a younger person, dismissing their abilities because of their age.

One can do things on their own reasonably and efficiently. As far as "need[ing] the love and support of those closest to you in order to find your way thorough those tough times," that is nice and all but I for one choose to pass when I was fifteen. Since then I have been doing just fine. I'm not saying it is wrong to seek guidance, help, or support. I'm saying that going it on your own is perfectly reasonable. It is not evil and terrible for a youth to try to solve his own problems. If his own powers fail him and it is too much, then by all means seek immediate help. But it is not wrong to attempt success through your own strength.

I'm glad things worked out so well for you. However, the OP asked us for help and advice - and that's what we're providing here. It was clear from his original post that hiding his problems and attempting to solve them on his own was NOT working out for him, hence our advice to reach out to his parents and teachers.

 

[The Raven]

No.. it is not..but is not wrong to have people encouraging you to attempt that success through your own strength either.

??

I'm glad things worked out so well for you. However, the OP asked us for help and advice - and that's what we're providing here. It was clear from his original post that hiding his problems and attempting to solve them on his own was NOT working out for him, hence our advice to reach out to his parents and teachers.

Ok.

I'm not looking for an argument here. I was just adding my two cents. I fear this present conversation was more of a tangent than anything else.

 

[Uponastar]

I suppose that is so, but I don't see what being an adult has to do with it. Even in your teenage years you have within yourself the same potential to be everything that an adult is. You merely lack the mastery of it. That doesn't make you incapable, it just means you need to work a little harder at it. I think at times people severly underestimate the power of a younger person, dismissing their abilities because of their age.

One can do things on their own reasonably and efficiently. As far as "need[ing] the love and support of those closest to you in order to find your way thorough those tough times," that is nice and all but I for one choose to pass when I was fifteen. Since then I have been doing just fine. I'm not saying it is wrong to seek guidance, help, or support. I'm saying that going it on your own is perfectly reasonable. It is not evil and terrible for a youth to try to solve his own problems. If his own powers fail him and it is too much, then by all means seek immediate help. But it is not wrong to attempt success through your own strength.

I would never underestimate the power of a young person. I know too many really fine ones to ever do that. There is a difference between ability and maturity, though. Of course, that has nothing to do with age, either.
It is not "evil and terrible" for young people to try to solve their own problems. But it can be harmful for them to think of themselves as weak if they ask for help, or to be resentful of help offered. No one...ever...makes it through their life totally on their own steam. No one should ever wish to. Needing people is not a weakness...it's one of the things that makes life worth living.

 

[maggiegrace1]

??


.

Did that not make sense?

Sometimes I do not..:lol:

 

[The Raven]

Did that not make sense?

Sometimes I do not..:lol:

That's ok.
When people directly adress me I like to know exactly what they are saying instead of ignoring their post and not reading it. Your statement confused me a little, that's all.

 

[dandaman]

We should seriously have a rant thread around here... though moderating the language may be a slight challenge. :lol:

I certainly can't help the OP with those problems... but boy, that's a lot of stuff to be piling on at once.

Now it can't hurt to get re-tested for ADD if you're that worried about it, but like Raven said, it's far too easy to convince oneself of the worst.

Even in your teenage years you have within yourself the same potential to be everything that an adult is. You merely lack the mastery of it. That doesn't make you incapable, it just means you need to work a little harder at it. I think at times people severly underestimate the power of a younger person, dismissing their abilities because of their age.

Now THAT'S something I can vouch for. :wave:

And by the way, welcome to the boards.

 

[The Raven]

Hey Dandaman!
Howdy! :wave:
Thanks!

 

[maggiegrace1]

That's ok.
When people directly adress me I like to know exactly what they are saying instead of ignoring their post and not reading it. Your statement confused me a little, that's all.

:wave:
I confuse myself sometimes as well.:lol:

Basically I was just saying that having people support you does not mean you can not do something on your own..it just is sometimes nice to know that other people also believe in you and want you to succeed as well.

Hope that made sense.

 

[The Raven]

Perfect sense.

 

[figmentmom]

??


Ok.

I'm not looking for an argument here. I was just adding my two cents. I fear this present conversation was more of a tangent than anything else.

No arguments from me, either! :wave:

 

[SweetMagic]

I suppose that is so, but I don't see what being an adult has to do with it. Even in your teenage years you have within yourself the same potential to be everything that an adult is. You merely lack the mastery of it. That doesn't make you incapable, it just means you need to work a little harder at it. I think at times people severly underestimate the power of a younger person, dismissing their abilities because of their age.

One can do things on their own reasonably and efficiently. As far as "need[ing] the love and support of those closest to you in order to find your way thorough those tough times," that is nice and all but I for one choose to pass when I was fifteen. Since then I have been doing just fine. I'm not saying it is wrong to seek guidance, help, or support. I'm saying that going it on your own is perfectly reasonable. It is not evil and terrible for a youth to try to solve his own problems. If his own powers fail him and it is too much, then by all means seek immediate help. But it is not wrong to attempt success through your own strength.

Respectfully, I would say that, in response to the things you have either asked or stated here, that the old saying "with age comes wisdom" exists for a very good reason.

While you may honestly believe that you don't need any help or advise from others, or that you can handle anything on your own and have in fact done so successfully, please just give consideration to the idea that there is no way that you can know what you do not know.

Growing older makes a difference. Things are seen in a completely different way. Until you have lived another 20 years you cannot speculate on how it will truly feel to be 40, and how you will see and understand things differently.

Can a young person get by on their own? Absolutely. Would they benefit from the advise or encouragement of someone who has simply lived longer? Indeed. It is actually a very mature and wise decision to ask for, and receive input from others. There may very well be ways of looking at the world that you simply wouldn't have thought of on your own had you not asked. Asking and listening only allow for a broader data base of learned ideas to pull from throughout the rest of your life. That's how it works. It is not a sign of weakness, but rather of maturity and humility to realize you do not have all the answers... at any age.