How to politely suggest splitting up the group?

[Since1976]

My family and some very good friends are going down for our very first group trip down to the world this July. One couple, my very best friend and his GF, are the only ones without kids, and are honestly quite naive about how difficult it is for people who have kids to do what comes easy for childless couples. I'd also say that they are not really into Disney entertainment in general (but hey, other than the parks themselves, neither was I before I had kids). I love them to death, but I am concerned that our touring plans will cramp their style, or vice versa.

I foresee one of two scenarios: 1) They'll see our kids' (not to mention the parents') goofy enthusiasm for the parks, and they'll let go and become like kids themselves, or 2) they'll get bored, cynical and perhaps even annoyed by the experience, but they'll grin and bear it while trying to pretend they're having a good time.

As the trip coordinator, I want to make sure everyone has a great time, so I want to politely suggest that the group be flexible and occasionally split up, without implying "Hey, Dual-Income-No-Kids, you're on your own."

Any suggestions?

EDIT: BTW, all the kids in the group are 6 and under.

 

[CAPTAIN HOOK]

Are your kids "Toon Town" kids or older ??

Without their ages its a bit difficult to offer suggestions - lots of adults enjoy "child friendly" rides and lots of kids are tall enough to enjoy the "wilder" rides at WDW.

Perhaps a get together around the BBQ before the trip and discuss what rides everyone wants to do and then tackle the scenario whether your kids can ride or not.

Best scenario - your friends bite the bullet and see Disney through a childs eyes

 

[Crazy4WDW1]

I agree that a "meeting" of sorts is in order. Get the group together to pass out itenerarys or something along those lines. I would suggest to the group, not just the couple that are kid-less, that everyone is free to split from the group at any time. There may just be instances that one or two of the kids will have a meltdown and need to go back to the room, etc.

Bringing it up before the trip will make it a lot easier for people to suggest a split than waiting until you are there. Someone might feel too uncomfortable once you are there to mention anything.

Just my two cents . . . :wave:

 

[Victor]

Just politely let them know that if at any point they want to do their own thing and have time away from 'kids stuff', you have no problem with it and won't take offense. Tell them you just want them to have a good time. They'll probably appreciate it. I know I would.

 

[Monty]

Set up a specific schedule of things the whole group should do together [meals/group photos/stage shows/parades] and simply label the times between them as free-for-all, do what you want times. For meals you might want to talk to the childless couple about whether they want some romantic meals interspersed where they can get a break from dining with kids all the time.

If you have kids under 6 even they aren't going to want or be able to spend all day every day together. Different kids tire at different rates, to avoid meltdowns parents will need to pace based on their own kids' needs. Cell phones with text messaging will come in handy for reconnecting after separations.

 

[DisneyJoe]

In general, its actually more difficult trying to keep a group like this all together!

Plan for the opposite - plan to be apart, and plan a few "meet points" throughout the day, just to make contact, and maybe share a parade/fireworks/event or a meal. Then, if you happen to do some things together, great! but if not, no one will feel bad for going separate ways.

 

[castevens]

Just politely let them know that if at any point they want to do their own thing and have time away from 'kids stuff', you have no problem with it and won't take offense. Tell them you just want them to have a good time. They'll probably appreciate it. I know I would.

Agreed. That way it's to *their* benefit, which it really is. If they decide to turn you down, then there's no hard feelings on ANY side, because you can't be worried about them being annoyed for being "stuck," as they are by no means stuck.

 

[DHStutzman]

I really hate to quote dane cook but
"come on! Lets go, you wanna go together?
Come on lets go, you me and you, no no, you wait for the next group,
you wait for the next group. We'll go as a team, no no you wait,
you wait for the next group."

 

[toystorymaniacs]

Set up a specific schedule of things the whole group should do together [meals/group photos/stage shows/parades] and simply label the times between them as free-for-all, do what you want times. For meals you might want to talk to the childless couple about whether they want some romantic meals interspersed where they can get a break from dining with kids all the time.

If you have kids under 6 even they aren't going to want or be able to spend all day every day together. Different kids tire at different rates, to avoid meltdowns parents will need to pace based on their own kids' needs. Cell phones with text messaging will come in handy for reconnecting after separations.

I agree with we are coordinating a trip for 16 people in September (4 families and one single). The two of us families who go regularly together are putting out a schedule that has times labeled group breakfast at Crystal Palace, or individual family time, etc. We have also been very careful to say that no feelings will be hurt if someone wants to skip out on the plans.

 

[agent86]

I foresee one of two scenarios: 1) They'll see our kids' (not to mention the parents') goofy enthusiasm for the parks, and they'll let go and become like kids themselves, or 2) they'll get bored, cynical and perhaps even annoyed by the experience, but they'll grin and bear it while trying to pretend they're having a good time.

I actually don't see what you're concerned about. It sounds to me like either of the above scenarios is a win win for you. Either they are going to have a great time, in which case you were worried for nothing, or they are going to have a lousy time, but they're not going to complain at all about it, thus they won't affect your good time at all. Sorry, but I don't see a problem. :veryconfu It sounds to me like you're getting too hung up on worrying about everyone enjoying it to the same level that you do. Not everyone has the same love for Disney that we have. It's not your responsibility to make sure they have a good time. Obviously they are taking the trip, so they must be doing so because they think they will enjoy it. If they don't that's their problem, not yours. I would chill out, relax and just have fun.

 

[tigsmom]

We visited with a group of 9 (4 adults & 5 kids, 13- 3) and we said right from the start during the planning phase that not everyone had to stay together all the time. We all had breakfast & dinner together (our choice), but we did split up a few times. Just let everyone know that if there is something they wish to do (or not do) it's ok to head off on their own.

 

[Monty]

I actually don't see what you're concerned about. It sounds to me like either of the above scenarios is a win win for you. Either they are going to have a great time, in which case you were worried for nothing, or they are going to have a lousy time, but they're not going to complain at all about it, thus they won't affect your good time at all. Sorry, but I don't see a problem. :veryconfu It sounds to me like you're getting too hung up on worrying about everyone enjoying it to the same level that you do. Not everyone has the same love for Disney that we have. It's not your responsibility to make sure they have a good time. Obviously they are taking the trip, so they must be doing so because they think they will enjoy it. If they don't that's their problem, not yours. I would chill out, relax and just have fun.

Some human beings actually care about others' feelings...

:wave:

 

[DisneyPrincess5]

Just politely let them know that if at any point they want to do their own thing and have time away from 'kids stuff', you have no problem with it and won't take offense. Tell them you just want them to have a good time. They'll probably appreciate it. I know I would.

Exactly.

And don't forget that it is your vacation, too!

 

[daliseurat]

We traveled this way. We were the DUAL INCOME NO KIDS. As I planned the trip, I made it very clear. I first asked who wanted to do what. Our friends with kids had definite ideas about what they wanted. We did not want to do all of the same things. So I very craftily divided things up. We went and did a few things by ourselves. The moms went to the spa for half a day and me and the other dad took the kids. The moms took the kids home early one night. The Dad and I stayed and rode stuff the kids couldn't. It was a GREAT trip because we were all upfront abut who wanted what and who had special needs. Everyone got to do stuff they wanted, and everyone helped with the kids. No stress. But you can't wait until you get there. Find out NOW. Plan all meals NOW. Make sure everyone is clear on the plans. It is much easier than it sounds.

 

[agent86]

Some human beings actually care about others' feelings...

:wave:

Caring about others' feelings is one thing. Letting it consume you (as the OP seems to be doing) is unhealthy.

 

[toolsnspools]

We've done a couple of "family gatherings" at WDW. Sometimes it just comes down to doing what feels right. A couple things are given:

1. - Use Fastpass. Once you have a "booked" time on the FP rides, it gives the other people in the party who don't want to ride a nice window of flexibility to do something else.

2. - Get ADRs. Put together some reservations at agreeable restaraunts. 50's Diner at DHS is one our family favs. Everybody needs to eat, and ADR's give you a set window to spend time together.

3. - Have everyone that's going put together a top 3 to-do list. Not only will it give you some goals for the trip, it will give you a good idea of what everyone is looking to get out of the trip as well.

4. - Be flexible, but don't try to please everyone all the time. You'll spend the entire trip trying to figure out what you should do, and no one will have a good time.

Hope this helps. Have a great trip.

 

[Monty]

Caring about others' feelings is one thing. Letting it consume you (as the OP seems to be doing) is unhealthy.

Wanting all of your friends to have an enjoyable time and asking for advise from people who might know is not by any stretch being "consumed".

It's called being a friend.

 

[agent86]

Wanting all of your friends to have an enjoyable time and asking for advise from people who might know is not by any stretch being "consumed".

It's called being a friend.

I think any reasonable person who takes a trip with a group of people would genuinely want everyone to have a good time. But there comes a point where that can go too far. The trip hasn't even happened yet and the OP is worried that the one couple isn't going to enjoy kid-friendly things. A "friend" would trust others in the group and give them that benefit of the doubt. Obviously these people booked a trip and are willingly going on it (unless there is a part of the story that the OP isn't telling us...such as maybe he/she is dragging this couple kicking and screaming along on the trip). The OP didn't come here asking for simple advice on suggestions for things to be sure and see, or suggestions on what this couple might enjoy. Instead, the OP came here asking for advice because he/she is already expecting problems and expecting this couple to be "difficult" because they don't have kids. I'm not sure I'd say that's "called being a friend" as you put it.

 

[I_heart_Tigger]

the OP is worried that the one couple isn't going to enjoy kid-friendly things. A "friend" would trust others in the group and give them that benefit of the doubt. Obviously these people booked a trip and are willingly going on it (unless there is a part of the story that the OP isn't telling us...such as maybe he/she is dragging this couple kicking and screaming along on the trip). the OP came here asking for advice because he/she is already expecting problems and expecting this couple to be "difficult" because they don't have kids. I'm not sure I'd say that's "called being a friend" as you put it.

No the OP is not expecting the couple to be difficult in fact according to the OP :

I foresee one of two scenarios: 1) They'll see our kids' (not to mention the parents') goofy enthusiasm for the parks, and they'll let go and become like kids themselves, or 2) they'll get bored, cynical and perhaps even annoyed by the experience, but they'll grin and bear it while trying to pretend they're having a good time.

so they know tha the couple could have a great time but would like to plan an alternative for them in case they are not.


What the OP is asking is

As the trip coordinator, I want to make sure everyone has a great time, so I want to politely suggest that the group be flexible and occasionally split up, without implying "Hey, Dual-Income-No-Kids, you're on your own."

I don't think that has anything to do with the OP expecting problems but asking for a polite way to let them know it's OK if they go on their own. A perfectly reasonable question but I guess I'm not analyzing every nuance searching for hidden meanings, conspiracies and negative undertones to it. I actually thought the OP just wanted exactly what they were asking for...silly me. I'll put on my s_!t coloured glasses next time and try to read between the lines.

 

[agent86]

I'll put on my s_!t coloured glasses next time and try to read between the lines.

When someone writes that they think their friends are going to be "bored, cynical and annoyed", I don't think there's a whole lot of "reading between the lines" that you really need to do. :hammer::lol: