How to politely suggest splitting up the group?

[I_heart_Tigger]

When someone writes that they think their friends are going to be "bored, cynical and annoyed", I don't think there's a whole lot of "reading between the lines" that you really need to do. :hammer::lol:

maybe but saying that you want to make sure your friends do not experience all of the above is just good manners and common sense and since they also said they may let loose and have a good time (did you get that part or are you just playing snatch and grab with whatever phrase suits you best?) :brick::brick::brick::hammer::hammer::hammer::lookaroun:shrug: it shows they are preparing for any scenario. Very thoughtful I think.

 

[agent86]

Very thoughtful I think.

If they wanted to truly be thoughtful, they'd be willing to give up doing the things that they expect this particular couple wouldn't enjoy. Trying to arrange a scenario where they can send this couple off on their own just because they're not into the same stuff isn't what I'd call "being thoughtful". Personally, if I were taking someone to WDW for their first trip (and this is actually something I've done many times), I'd try to gear things based on what I would know or expect those people would enjoy. I wouldn't send them off on their own just because they weren't into doing something that I couldn't live without doing for one trip.

 

[I_heart_Tigger]

If they wanted to truly be thoughtful, they'd be willing to give up doing the things that they expect this particular couple wouldn't enjoy. Trying to arrange a scenario where they can send this couple off on their own just because they're not into the same stuff isn't what I'd call "being thoughtful". Personally, if I were taking someone to WDW for their first trip (and this is actually something I've done many times), I'd try to gear things based on what I would know or expect those people would enjoy. I wouldn't send them off on their own just because they weren't into doing something that I couldn't live without doing for one trip.

Yeah I'm sure the children will understand that they can't see any characters or go on Winnie-the-Pooh because the friends of the family don't have children and everyone has to do what the childless couple wants. The OP is trying to let everyone do what they enjoy without forcing everyone to be together all the time. I think it's the best scenario especially having been on trips with a large group, some with kids, some without and it has always worked out for us.

 

[Monty]

Yeah I'm sure the children will understand that they can't see any characters or go on Winnie-the-Pooh because the friends of the family don't have children and everyone has to do what the childless couple wants. The OP is trying to let everyone do what they enjoy without forcing everyone to be together all the time. I think it's the best scenario especially having been on trips with a large group, some with kids, some without and it has always worked out for us.

He just likes to argue... better to ignore him. :king: A lesson I admittedly have difficulty learning myself

 

[I_heart_Tigger]

He just likes to argue... better to ignore him. :king: A lesson I admittedly have difficulty learning myself

Yeah, I know, it's probably just a need for attention but occasionally it's entertaining to bait people like that, it's kind of blocking the path of a little bug just to see where they'll go next :lol:

 

[Ralphlaw]

Have a heart to heart talk, and tell them that Disney is NOT NOT NOT best enjoyed all day in a large group. Make plans everyday to meet for parades, fireworks, or a meal or two, but otherwise go your seperate ways. Maybe even have these plans made ahead of time, taking into account the crowd levels and Extra Magic Hours. Believe me, this is absolutely the best way to do it.

We went with friends of ours the last 2 trips, and we even had adjoining rooms. We usually did our own thing for most of the day, but always made plans for a small part of the day together, usually in the evening. We also mixed and matched, with the men doing the Segway Epcot tour one morning while the women watched the kids, and vice versa the next day while the women went shopping and wining around World Showcase.

The worst time we ever had together, was when all 8 of us went to Animal Kingdom for the day. It seemed we were always waiting for someone to get done in the bathroom. We actually missed a showing of Bug's Life, and had to wait underground an extra 45 minutes because of this. Some of us liked the parade, others wanted to do Everest one more time. I ran ahead to get fast passes for Kilimanjaro Safari, only to wait around while others in the group stopped for a spin down Kali River Rapids. I wanted to snack our way through the day because we had Boma that night, the other family had the meal plan and sat down to eat breakfast and lunch.

These are great friends, and we are amazingly compatible, but being together the whole day drove all us 100% absolutely nuts. Never again, but we truly enjoy getting together every day for dinner, etc . . . Be honest, print out this message and others, and let them enjoy the fun of young adulthood if they want by doing the more subtle or sophisticated things at their own pace. Perhaps show them the portions of the guide books that detail the fun things for young adults without kids. Be 100% honest. And be absolutely sure to let them know that you will NOT be offended if they wander off on their own. Communication is key. Perhaps tell them a story from your past about a great time you once had at Disney when the group split up.

Or say, "We'd love to do California Grill/Marakesh/Le Cellier, but not with the kids. Enjoy it now." Maybe they'll even offer to take the kids while you do something adultish.

That all may really help. Good luck.

 

[agent86]

He just likes to argue... better to ignore him. :king: A lesson I admittedly have difficulty learning myself

Hmmmm.... I've noticed that you've been following me from thread to thread in the past few days seeking out my posts specifically so you can post an argumentative response. In fact, in all of said threads, you aren't there to actually contribute to the discussion, but rather to just comment on MY posts. Sooooooo... WHO is it that "likes to argue"? :lol:

 

[agent86]

but occasionally it's entertaining to bait people like that,

So you're publicly admitting that this is your only intent in replying to my posts? :hammer:I believe that's referred to as "trolling" and is against forum rules.

My intent is purely to share my opinion, which is the purpose of a discussion board. If you can't handle it without reacting emotionally and making personal attacks, might I suggest the "ignore" button.

I'm editing this post in order to include a link to forum rules:

http://forums.wdwmagic.com/showthread.php?t=1790

I_heart_Tigger, you may want to take note of the second rule down which states: Anyone deliberately antagonizing other forum users by posting 'flame bait' type messages are not welcome. You will be banned if you persist in this behavior.

Care to retract your admission in post #25 that you intentionally are baiting me because it's "entertaining" to do so?

 

[agent86]

Yeah I'm sure the children will understand that they can't see any characters or go on Winnie-the-Pooh because the friends of the family don't have children and everyone has to do what the childless couple wants. The OP is trying to let everyone do what they enjoy without forcing everyone to be together all the time. I think it's the best scenario especially having been on trips with a large group, some with kids, some without and it has always worked out for us.

Well for the record (and going back to my original point), I never stated the children (or the OP) need to give up anything. However, if this is the only way to keep from upsetting everyone else in the group, then technically it's the "thoughtful" thing to do. Personally, if I were in that situation, I would assume that everyone in the group is there at their own free will and that everyone is an adult and would let me know if they prefer to go off on their own. Maybe I have a better relationship with my friends than the OP does with his/her friends. I just think it's sad that the OP is agonizing over how to handle something like that. If they truly are all good friends, and are all mature adults, I would think it would be safe on the OP's part to assume all members of the group will behave accordingly and will just let them know if they don't want to participate in something. Instead, it seems as though the OP is already anticipating problems and is putting it on his/her own shoulders to carry the burden of "how to deal with it". Actually, I don't know if that's sad or humorous. But what an unpleasant way to look at a vacation that is supposed to be fun! :veryconfu

 

[Since1976]

Wow, I leave my thread for a couple of days and a flame war nearly breaks out :ROFLOL:

So there's no reading "between the lines" necessary, here's the deal: my childless best friend is a great guy, but when it comes to making decisions, he's very unlikely to speak up, a trait which sometimes annoys others when we travel in groups ("What do you wanna do?" "I dunno. What do you wanna do?" "I dunno. Something."*). He's the kind of guy who will sacrifice his own happiness just to stick with the group. It's a trait which I usually admire, but when you have to slow down to deal with kids, and he's clearly impatient to go and do something...well, you know how that goes.

The issue isn't "consuming" me per se, but I do realize that if one person is unhappy, that can pretty much ruin a trip for everyone else.

Anyway, thanks for the great advice everybody. We are already planning to get the group together to meet before the trip to discuss what we're going to do. :wave:

[*Those characters in WALL*E are sooooo spot on.]

 

[Lucky]

Some human beings actually care about others' feelings...

:wave:

Yeah, you Canadians are always the softies in the bunch.

 

[Since1976]

Have a heart to heart talk, and tell them that Disney is NOT NOT NOT best enjoyed all day in a large group.

Thanks for this Ralphlaw! The thing I am most looking forward to is sitting down for dinner at the end of each day and talking about the different things we saw and did that day.

 

[agent86]

my childless best friend is a great guy, but when it comes to making decisions, he's very unlikely to speak up, a trait which sometimes annoys others when we travel in groups

Not to play therapist or counselor here, but this seems like a trait that is your friend's issue to deal with, and not one which you should allow to impact you. If it's something that he cannot overcome, and its enough that it "annoys others", then why bring him on the trip at all? I understand he is your "best friend" and you would probably feel bad leaving him behind, but at the same time, it sounds as though you're the one making the sacrifice here, and agonizing over making sure he and the others have a good time. If, on the other hand, it's only mildly annoying and is not a big deal, then the whole point of this thread is probably moot. Bottom line is that it just doesn't seem like a fun way to look at a Disney vacation. That was basically my original point, which unfortunately got twisted around by others looking for an argument just for their own "entertainment".

Whatever happens, have fun on your trip and don't let any of your group members ruin it for you. Life is too short! :wave:

 

[JiminyandTink]

I bet you your friends without kids are already thinking of how they can bring it up to you, so they'll probably be relieved

 

[scheat]

^^I agree with above poster. Wife and I are childless(not by choice, another story), but if we were going with friends with kids we would have let them know when the decision was made to go that we will be going off a lot on our own. You may be surprised to find that your friends are already thinking the same thing you are.

 

[I_heart_Tigger]

Wow, I leave my thread for a couple of days and a flame war nearly breaks out :ROFLOL:

So there's no reading "between the lines" necessary, here's the deal: my childless best friend is a great guy, but when it comes to making decisions, he's very unlikely to speak up, a trait which sometimes annoys others when we travel in groups ("What do you wanna do?" "I dunno. What do you wanna do?" "I dunno. Something."*). He's the kind of guy who will sacrifice his own happiness just to stick with the group. It's a trait which I usually admire, but when you have to slow down to deal with kids, and he's clearly impatient to go and do something...well, you know how that goes.

The issue isn't "consuming" me per se, but I do realize that if one person is unhappy, that can pretty much ruin a trip for everyone else.

Anyway, thanks for the great advice everybody. We are already planning to get the group together to meet before the trip to discuss what we're going to do. :wave:

[*Those characters in WALL*E are sooooo spot on.]

Don't worry i think most people on the thread realize that this isn't "consuming" you and we know that it's just a perfectly normal and thoughtful thing to do to want people to have a good time on vacation...after all, why would you want anything else :shrug:

I think your friends will probably be a bit relieved if you suggest that you pick some meeting spots throughout the day and the have free time for people to separate if they see fit.

It's also a good idea to pick a meeting place in the parks even if it's just to check in with the group. If you're having a meal together than meet at the restaurant but you could also just meet up outside a ride.

Attractions that are theatre style are good ones to go to together, if everyone is into the show of course.

You might even find that one group wants to do a waterpark and another wants to do Disneyquest and take a whole day of "separate time" then meet up somewhere for dinner.

You're definately doing the right things letting them know that it's OK to take time apart from the group if they wish...take it from me, after vacationing with 14 people from age 3 to 71 time apart makes the together time even better.

Just try to get at least one good photo of the whole group. It's hard with a big group but it will be worth it

 

[I_heart_Tigger]

Care to retract your admission in post #25 that you intentionally are baiting me because it's "entertaining" to do so?

no...because I didn't say that I was "intentionally baiting you because it's entertaining to do so" and other than my direct response to a post, to me, from Montyboy every post has been directly related to the discussion so I would hardly call it persistantly antagonizing you with flame bait messages, unless one post to another person is antagonizing to you and obviously, that would hardly be considered persistant.

I realize you would like to have me banned because I disagree with your opinion but I suspect that won't happen so don't quote or reply directly to my messages and I will do the same then there will be no futher problem for either of us and the threads can continue on topic.

 

[Elonwy]

I wouldn't worry to much about whether you're going to hurt their feelings or anything by suggesting that the groups split up. Sounds like you have more than one family going and maybe even each family would like to have their own time in the park.

Remeber there are a lot of attractions that will offer the couple some priveate time while still being part of the group. Attractions like the Haunted Mansion, The Seas, and Peter pan (and lots more) gives them a chance to sit together, just the two of them and enjoy the ride but still be with the group. So it may not be as much of a headache to them as you think.

I'm not saying you should overplan which rides to go on when they're around but just to say that you can have "alone" time even when traveling with a group

 

[Montyboy]

no...because I didn't say that I was "intentionally baiting you because it's entertaining to do so" and other than my direct response to a post, to me, from Montyboy every post has been directly related to the discussion so I would hardly call it persistantly antagonizing you with flame bait messages, unless one post to another person is antagonizing to you and obviously, that would hardly be considered persistant.

Personally, I think Expedition Everest is an exciting and well themed attraction - far better than anything Universal Studios has in their parks.

It takes four days, not three, to see everything at Disneyland.

MontyMon is too polite to bait.

 

[I_heart_Tigger]

Personally, I think Expedition Everest is an exciting and well themed attraction - far better than anything Universal Studios has in their parks.

It takes four days, not three, to see everything at Disneyland.

MontyMon is too polite to bait.

whoops....here I am hopping from thread to thread reading posts from all the Monty's and I mixed you guys up. Hopefully you'll both forgive me, I don't want to get mixed up in a Monty gang war :lol::lookaroun