Isn’t he describing the dictionary definition of “tolerate” though?
allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one does not necessarily like or agree with) without interference.
Actually I am kind of with Bill here. My personal definition of tolerance whether it comes to everyday life, something that annoys me, politics, religion or anything else is just that. Some things don't align with the way I live my life but don't bother me in the least. Some things bother me a bit but I don't let it get to me. Some things really bother me but I am tolerant and just coexist with it. In each of these of these cases I live my life and tolerate anything that is different
WITHOUT trying to change it. Let me give you a few examples:
I am straight, but I have a lot of gay friends. Some may say I am tolerant of different life choices
I am not that religious, but would consider myself a Christian. I could really care if someone else is Hindu, Jewish, or Muslim. Some may say I am tolerant of different religion choices.
I enjoy a cocktail from time to time but not a big drinker. One of my neighbors has huge parties at least twice a month with many drunken guests. They usually are pretty good but sometimes go a bit late with the noise. I let it go because I was young once.
some may say I am tolerant of my neighbors, or even people who like to party a bit.
If I am paying over $100 a plate for a meal at a nice place, I do not want to hear a screaming child(ren) the entire time.
BUT Some may say I am tolerant of people with kids because I had them and now have grandkids.
I would never try to convince a gay person to be straight.
I would never ask someone from a different religion to join mine.
I would never ask a friend or neighbor to act more like me.
I would never think to offer advice to a parent about a child unless they asked for it.
I would never tell someone my view on life is better than theirs.
I would never ask anyone to change what they are doing to conform to my standards. That in my opinion is being tolerant.
I have a real problem with those who are
TOLERANT and tell others how they are right, or how you should think like them.
Statements like "I'm pretty sure if your idea of tolerance is quietly disapproving of how gay people live their lives & just managing the bare minimum of not telling them so directly, you're not going to be very well liked within legitimately tolerant circles." are absolutely wrong.
"you're not going to be very well liked within legitimately tolerant circles"
Who make the judgement what is "legitimately tolerant circles?"
How would this person be liked or not liked? They are not stating an opinion. It is in their mind. They may think it is bad, but not telling anyone.
That IS tolerance.