Joe you have the choise of being happy by yourself. You don't need anyone or anything to be happy. Just be happy with yourself.
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Have You Heard? Magic Friends Are The Word
- Thread starter nibblesandbits
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Dukeblue1016
New Member
I know... I'm trying...
being in an apartment has been a lot easier on me.
I just have good days and bad ones... for some reason I've been in some pretty tough shape since Saturday... I just miss her so friggin much...
it sucks so bad too that I cannot stand by her decision... if something had happened, or there'd been a bad fight... I get it. Had we "grown apart" after 2, 3, 5 years... okay...
When you have a seemingly perfect relationship for seven incredible years... plan on having a family together, plan and dream out your future together... spend all your time together happy as can imagineably be... I just don't see that we "grew apart" at all...
*sigh*
sorry guys...
I'm gonna go to lunch, when I get back I'll stop talking about this stupid stuff...
Joe...the thing is...I think you did grow apart...maybe not you...but she obviously did. You just didn't see it b/c you were so head over heels. It sucks...but in order for you to get over the relationship, you're going to have to realize that. It was a slow, gradual thing...so you didn't see it...but she obviously did. And that's why things happened the way they did.
No one can help you until you realize that fact though, but you'll have to realize it to move on even more. Someone in the relationship did grow apart...and it was unfortunately, her.
BTW...hello all!!!
Hi Susan...how are you?
at least he is being something. :shrug:
doing good
How about you?
Oh...doing alright. Just trying to get back into the swing of a work week.
It has been a Monday hasn't it? :lol:
phone's been ringing off the hook
Pongo
New Member
This time last year I didn't really have any friends up here and I wasn't involved with much so we would have a lot of time to talk and whatnot. But this year I have commitments and a job a late classes and a lot of homework that I have to make up in the time that I'm not doing all of that, so I haven't really had time to talk to him since school started.
So he's complaining about it. Excessively.
Are you complaining? He likes you! Not that way most likely. :lookaroun
Dukeblue1016
New Member
you couldn't be more right nibbs. You really couldn't.
and yet at the same time I just feel like...
ugh... Allie is very irrational and impulsive and does things without thinking them through... I don't wanna go through the record of things, but she just does... she gets overwhelms, freaks out... she doesn't talk to anyone about stuff until its so bad she just acts out irrationally and impulsively...
i dont think we grew apart... cuz i don't think the problem had to do with "us" as much as it did with her not liking where we were in the relationship...
I said before, we haven't talked in 10 days... but prior to those 10 days we talked for like a week straight and she's so over the top hung up on me, knows she'll never be over me... she wants to be with me so badly but she's too afraid to let herself because she's afraid the relationship will go back to where it was... with us in a "routine" that didn't involve really going out with other people and being social as a couple...
you'll disagree as anyone who isn't me and isn't naive will disagree (because I know I'm wrong) but I don't think it was growing apart... I think she felt the relationship wasn't right for her anymore, and she realized while it become a slow gradual realization over the last 2-3 months of it that it wasn't right for her anymore, she realized the relationship was ALWAYS like that and so feels it was NEVER right for her...
only she blindly looked that way because it wasn't always like that, but I know how/why she sees it that way...
mousefan1972
Well-Known Member
Joe, I haven't talked to you in a long time about this, but I feel I may have some helpful feedback for you. You said in your last post that Allie is afraid your relationship will go back into a "routine", meaning you won't go out with other couples. To me, that is a huge red flag. You should WANT your relationship to be routine. Maybe not the mundane boring stuff that happens every day, but more of a comfort level of "this is who I am and this is us and I am happy with that" It sounds like you were happy with it but she wasn't.... I really think a big part of it is that she is not ready for that level of commitment.
Dukeblue1016
New Member
You also are right.
I definitely agree with this. I thought about this very often.
But I mean, to play devil's advocate. Literally EVERY friday night was the same thing... dinner somewhere, movie at my house.
I mean... we're not married yet, we only 23... we really didn't go out and have a good time with people. Never went to parties, never went on double dates... never went out. The routine part was great, and she did like it, and the comfort of it... but she hated that it was literally ALL we did. Which I fully understand and respect.
My problem is that... TELL ME... I mean honestly... TELL ME.
That was immature.
Okay, the routine is great, but it needs to be broken at times to go out, we never go out and I want to.
Done.
So I tell myself... I shouldn't be with someone who after seven years literally just gives up, without a fight or even so much as a word... just cowardly gives up. Why would I want to be with someone who does that...
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