Family Argument Prior to Disney

[DisAl]

Yes, each family has their own reservations. And thankfully we are arriving and departing Disney at different times.

First, I hope whatever the problem is can be reconciled.
POP has at least two "preferred" buildings, one on either side of the main desk / food court building so if you know which building they have request the other.
You could try modifying what fastpasses you can. If they are all together on one fastpass, just log into MDE and choose to modify ONLY your family if something else is available.
The dining is a little more complicated. For this I would call WDW and see if you can modify the reservations. If they are all together, i.e. a reservation for 8, see if they can split it into two reservations for 4 and choose a different time for yours.
What I would NOT do is just cancel everything if everything is in your MDE account. If you cancel their reservations without telling them it would just add to the problems you already have. (If all ADRs and FPs are in THEIR account make sure they have not cancelled yours!)
If your ADRs and FPs are already on separate MDE accounts just try to modify yours to different times.

 

[maria_wdw2012]

Call TODAY and request to specifically NOT having rooms that have doors open into each other's rooms, as they may have booked it with rooms that are requested to be connecting or adjoining. I agree with everyone else, go and have fun with your family. Modify your dining reservations if possible, to have your family do their own thing. FP's should not be an issue. I feel for you and I hope that everything ends well for you!! Best wishes!! Marie

We did request connecting rooms with myself and my mother since our oldest son may want to bunk with her on some nights. That's another wrinkle in this whole fiasco, in that a lot of the fast pass selections we made were assuming my mother would be there to help us out with our little ones. We have a 9 year old and two year old twins, my mother was going to stay behind with the twins so we wouldn't have to use rider switch on some of the coasters. Now that she may be a NOGO, I'll have to rethink a lot of our plans.

 

[CaptainAmerica]

Having no idea of the circumstances of the situation, I feel a bit ignorant in saying this, but I am a big advocate for communication, communication, communication in situations like this. Even if you at 100% sure you are not in the wrong, it is still beneficial to communicate so you can understand their perspective and they can understand yours. I firmly believe that people take actions that they believe to be logical, so I bet there is information that both sides are missing and communication is likely the key to repairing the relationship.

I got into a pretty serious family confrontation a few years ago. At the time, I almost got up and just walked away because it seemed like the easier thing to do. Unfortunately, my nature is to conclude I just don't need that person anymore in my life. However, thankfully, I quickly realized that that person was not someone I could just right-off, and so I forced myself to confront my family member and the situation directly, but with love. In the end, feelings were hurt and words were said that couldn't be erased during the confrontation, but talking it through allowed me an opportunity to hear their perspective, and they go to hear mine. We realized there was a lot of information that was missing, and we began to heal as a family. It's been a few years, and we are now better than ever.

This is all great "general life" advice, but it's not the kind of thing you should be working through on a WDW vacation. People melt down on their WDW vacations all of the time even with healthy family relationships. The fatigue, heat, travel, cost, etc. all weigh on people and this will just compound things.

 

[LeighM]

I'm sorry that happened before your trip. It seems like family drama has always followed me to Disney so I understand. I have some unhappy memories at Disney because of the drama that others tried to pull me into. I thought I had escaped it this past March, but nope. Some in laws back home felt like they should share their opinions on some things that were not their concern while we were on vacation. Love waking up to nasty text messages. And it did cause some negativity our last 2 days there. I was furious because it was our 15th anniversary trip. In fact, I still haven't spoken to any of the ones involved since I'm tired of the BS. If you're sure it won't be over before your trip, then I would definitely change dining. I wouldn't worry about the FP because you have an hour window and you might not even get there at the same time if they do decide to go to them.

 

[JohnD]

I know exactly where you're coming from. I had the same problem on a trip with my folks several years back. But it didn't become apparent until we were on the trip. While I was grateful they paid for the trip, let's just say I wouldn't want to tour with them to WDW again anytime soon. One night, we had a heated argument at CG. Afterward I was just stewing on the monorail. I saw them back to the bus at MK then told them I was going to blow off steam in MK.

As for your trip, if you're going with your husband and kids, enjoy your time with them and let your mother and brother do their own thing. Everyone enjoys WDW in their own way without being underfoot. Good luck!

 

[maria_wdw2012]

Does anyone think I should let the other parties know that I am removing them from the reservations before hand? I feel kind of stuck here. If I do tell them ahead of time, then they'll probably be furious with me before we go. If I don't tell them, they might be furious with me if they see me at Disney. Just trying to avoid the worst.

 

[LeighM]

Does anyone think I should let the other parties know that I am removing them from the reservations before hand? I feel kind of stuck here. If I do tell them ahead of time, then they'll probably be furious with me before we go. If I don't tell them, they might be furious with me if they see me at Disney. Just trying to avoid the worst.

I think it would be polite to let them know about the dining reservations so they can make other plans if necessary. If it gets people talking, that would be great. If it just makes them more angry, then you know you did the right thing by thinking of your family first. Disney is too expensive of a trip to be miserable the entire time.

 

[Kamikaze]

Does anyone think I should let the other parties know that I am removing them from the reservations before hand? I feel kind of stuck here. If I do tell them ahead of time, then they'll probably be furious with me before we go. If I don't tell them, they might be furious with me if they see me at Disney. Just trying to avoid the worst.

Can't you just text/email/call and say "Hey, I planned these reservations together, do you still want to attend them with us?" Might go a long way to mending fences, or they can decline and you don't have to feel bad.

 

[JohnD]

Some in laws back home felt like they should share their opinions on some things that were not their concern while we were on vacation.

You got that right. On a trip to WDW several years back, my mother made it her business to be concerned about my driving route. On a trip with the folks for my birthday in April, I shared with Mom I was going to drive from Tallahassee to see her in Jax for Mother's Day weekend then drive down to WDW from there. She told me I "was going out of my way". How do I respond to that statement? Am I to cancel the WDW trip so that my driving to see her is "on my way"? Or do I drive directly from Tallahassee to WDW and not see her so that my trip to WDW is "on my way". How about driving due East from Tallahassee to see her is "on my way" because the point is to see her for Mother's Day. Where I drive after that is none of her business. It got heated from there. Sigh. . .

 

[wannabeBelle]

We did request connecting rooms with myself and my mother since our oldest son may want to bunk with her on some nights. That's another wrinkle in this whole fiasco, in that a lot of the fast pass selections we made were assuming my mother would be there to help us out with our little ones. We have a 9 year old and two year old twins, my mother was going to stay behind with the twins so we wouldn't have to use rider switch on some of the coasters. Now that she may be a NOGO, I'll have to rethink a lot of our plans.

Good idea on the rider switch for that and your 9 year old will get to go on twice on those rides!!! Sounds like a win now!!! Marie

 

[wannabeBelle]

Does anyone think I should let the other parties know that I am removing them from the reservations before hand? I feel kind of stuck here. If I do tell them ahead of time, then they'll probably be furious with me before we go. If I don't tell them, they might be furious with me if they see me at Disney. Just trying to avoid the worst.

Yes. If at all possible let them know that you will be cancelling the reservations (specially if it is under your credit card) and that they are certainly free to make their own plans to have a great time on vacation. It is a tough enough situation without having meals together and trying to fix stuff just then. Marie

 

[Nemo14]

I just want to say that life is short and your family will always be your family warts and all. Hope you put some effort into resolving your issues before it's too late.

 

[maria_wdw2012]

You got that right. On a trip to WDW several years back, my mother made it her business to be concerned about my driving route. On a trip with the folks for my birthday in April, I shared with Mom I was going to drive from Tallahassee to see her in Jax for Mother's Day weekend then drive down to WDW from there. She told me I "was going out of my way". How do I respond to that statement? Am I to cancel the WDW trip so that my driving to see her is "on my way"? Or do I drive directly from Tallahassee to WDW and not see her so that my trip to WDW is "on my way". How about driving due East from Tallahassee to see her is "on my way" because the point is to see her for Mother's Day. Where I drive after that is none of her business. It got heated from there. Sigh. . .

Unfortunately, I feel your pain. This whole argument stemmed from Mother's Day. Long story short, my mother disappeared without warning on Mother's Day because she was angry and had our whole family panicking as to what happened to her. After filing a missing persons report, working with a detective and contacting her pastor, we were finally able to track her down. My family has been at odds since then on how to respond to her and the whole situation.

 

[JohnD]

Unfortunately, I feel your pain. This whole argument stemmed from Mother's Day. Long story short, my mother disappeared without warning because she was angry and had our whole family panicking as to what happened to her. After filing a missing persons report and contacting her pastor, we were finally able to track her down. My family has been at odds since then on how to respond.

Wow.

 

[wannabeBelle]

Unfortunately, I feel your pain. This whole argument stemmed from Mother's Day. Long story short, my mother disappeared without warning on Mother's Day because she was angry and had our whole family panicking as to what happened to her. After filing a missing persons report, working with a detective and contacting her pastor, we were finally able to track her down. My family has been at odds since then on how to respond to her and the whole situation.

OMG. Marie

 

[wannabeBelle]

Given that information is it possible to see if the rest of the family wants to go to WDW together and just not have Mom along? Marie

 

[maria_wdw2012]

Given that information is it possible to see if the rest of the family wants to go to WDW together and just not have Mom along? Marie

That may be the best solution. Given the circumstances, I don't see us resolving anything before our trip and like CaptainAmerica suggested above, Disney can be stressful even for "happy" families. I'd hate to sweep it under the rug for the sake of the trip and then have a total meltdown while there.

 

[ELG13]

I'm gonna be a rebel and say don't change it. Maybe the magic of Disney and a fmaoly vacation will help remind everyone whats important. Do your own thing in between fast passes, but see if y'all can eat together. We had a similar issue before our last trip but we were all so happy to be there, and be there together, knowing it may be the last time we can all do something like that together before someone passes or moves too far away...it really adjusted everyones attitude. Granted the issue was still there but everyone played nice...and sometimes you just have to fake it till you make it!

 

[note2001]

Please use caution when airing family issues on the web. All to easy to track down reports, tie them in with addresses and vacation plans. Just sayin.
Also - really none of our business.

 

[JohnD]

That may be the best solution. Given the circumstances, I don't see us resolving anything before our trip and like CaptainAmerica suggested above, Disney can be stressful even for "happy" families. I'd hate to sweep it under the rug for the sake of the trip and then have a total meltdown while there.

If you can do that, it's probably for the best. While my trip was a birthday present, I found myself pouring myself out for the folks and my plans going up in smoke.

Short version:

• Lunch at Raglan Rd. Dad had allergies. He wanted "to get the H out of here". That set the tone.
• Me: Let's try F&G food booths for lunch. Dad: I want lunch NOW. We settle on cafe in Norway
• Me: Let's take the bus to MK then boat over to the Poly for dinner at 'Ohana. Folks: On the bus, they're reminding me every minute we'll be late. I was so frazzled that by the time we arrived at the MK bus depot, I saw a boat leaving. We got on it. It was the ferry to TTC. Sigh. . .
• Argument over my trip to see Mom for Mother's Day. I blew off steam in MK.

It was a memorable birthday present, alright. Just not the memories I wanted.