Epcot82Guy
Well-Known Member
If she seemed happy and care-free 5-10 years ago and was a closeted lesbian at the time, the "happy" side you were seeing was likely a facade to fit in. I know from experience. After coming out, she likely started more feeling comfortable expressing the challenges and frustrations that she previously felt in private and kept to herself. Her talk of identity is also likely tied to the fact that she now feels that she is expressing her true self, whereas before she was holding parts of herself back.
As someone who helps others with this and has experienced it himself, it's a very case-by-case situation. Your assessment may very well be spot on. There's also the secondary aspects of internalized rejection that many of us face. In that case, we still deal with all the internal hatred we have for ourselves. So, we can cling to identities as shields vs. authentically taking them good or bad. We then see the slightest afront to our identity as a huge attack - because we're still trying to run from those parts within. Coming out is sort of a two-phase process (speaking in very gross overstatements). You accept your identity - then you accept yourself, you strengths, your limits and what that means being part of a diverse society. In other words, your humanity. (And, that exists well beyond the queer community. I'm just using it as an example.) It's all part of the process of acceptance - and a very personal one.
Now - back to topic... Nothing that finding the humanity within each of us and between each of us actually has some pretty powerful meaning. Illuminations: Reflections of Us...?