Okay, I've watched a couple other videos of tonight's debut now, and made one (1) more French 75, and I now realize...
This isn't good enough. This show does not meet, much less even begin to exceed, longtime Disney standards for major theme park entertainment. It's too sparsely populated. Too much screens, not enough action. Not enough boats and interactivity happening on the river. Not even an attempt to tap into new technology like aerial drones, robotics, laser imaging, etc.
Just because Disney's recent water spectaculars have been mediocre at best, to hilariously awful at worst; KiteTails, Rivers of Light, Harmonious, etc. does NOT mean that they can keep getting away with this crap level of performance and showmanship.
If anything, the recent failures at nighttime entertainment (aside from just abandoning it entirely like MSEP, Paint The Night, etc.) should have guided them to expect more and deliver more for Disneyland's Fantasmic!.
They failed at their jobs here. And it took them over a year to reach that level of failure? This isn't good enough.