Boyfriend and I Broke Up

[maelstrom]

My boyfriend and I broke up last night. He cited not going to his concerts (he has a band), not supporting him, and being selfish as his reasons. I have some pretty bad anxiety about being in crowds, and that's why I don't go to his concerts. It's not that I don't like his music. We've been fighting for awhile now and whatnot, and I had thought about breaking up with him. But now that we have, I feel horrible. No more calls to say good morning and good night, no calls to say he loves me, no calls to say that it's cold outside and to bundle up. No more singing to me, no more holding me. He loved me like no one else did and I feel like such a moron. He really cared about me. And I hate myself so much right now.

 

[AliciaLuvzDizne]

aw Im sorry to hear that. I just got singled myself a few weeks ago after 2 years. Its hard and I wonder every day if I made the right decision. But you wont be able to tell that unless you spend some time apart, and think about what you both want. Take this time to hang out with friends and do things you havent done in a while. I know its hard and Im sorry anyone has to go through this! Hang in there!

 

[jesserin]

OK sweetie -

1. stop hating yourself. there's not a thing in the world you can do about retarded men, and anyone that would break up with someone for not going to their concert is just that.

2. I know you'll miss his calls and hugs (buy a dog! They're good for hugs) but just remember that there are a million guys out there that will respect your crowd anxieties. and besides - my hubby plays hockey, soccer, and baseball - if he expected me to go to each of his games we'd never get anything done.

3. You should have your own life where you respect yourself and those around you - anotherwords, give yourself some time before you start calling him and making the decision even more permanent.

4. Smile - you love disney world and we love all those who love disney world so that means you have a whole lot of friends out here!



Hope your day gets better - just remember you never know when you might just meet that one person that will make you forget about all others.... it happened to me during some of the darkest moments of my life... and someday it WILL happen for you!

 

[Wilt Dasney]

*huggles*

Stop blaming yourself. If you were fighting all the time, then that sounds like a pretty clear sign to me. Just because he loved you like nobody ever did doesn't mean he loved you like nobody ever will. The thing that's right in front of you and feels good isn't always the thing that's best. You'll be fine. Take some time to hurt. Learn from this, internalize it, use it to become a better person--just don't let it eat you.

 

[imagineer99]

well..I-99 is always here for ya..

(why did that sound so pervasive and creepy? :lookaroun)

 

[SpongeScott]

My boyfriend and I broke up last night. He cited not going to his concerts (he has a band), not supporting him, and being selfish as his reasons. I have some pretty bad anxiety about being in crowds, and that's why I don't go to his concerts. It's not that I don't like his music. We've been fighting for awhile now and whatnot, and I had thought about breaking up with him. But now that we have, I feel horrible. No more calls to say good morning and good night, no calls to say he loves me, no calls to say that it's cold outside and to bundle up. No more singing to me, no more holding me. He loved me like no one else did and I feel like such a moron. He really cared about me. And I hate myself so much right now.

Ok, I'm gonna look at this from a fatherly perspective.....you are so much better without him. Look at what you typed at the beginning about him being upset that you weren't going to HIS concerts, you weren't supporting HIM, but then you close with "he really cared about me". No, it sounds like he cared about himself more than anything. Didn't he care that you had an anxiety problem of being on crowds? Is that not reason enough for you not to be at his concerts? If he really loved you, wouldn't HE make the sacrifice for you and be understanding of you not being there? And now you're fighting? Trust me, you're better off without him. Does it hurt? Heck yeah, it hurts and it hurts bad. But like all wounds, in time they will heal and you will move on. Give yourself some time, pour your life into your other friends you have around you and you'll be fine. I hope all works out for you.

 

[maelstrom]

I can understand why he wants me to go to his concerts. Music is a very big part of his life. And you know what, I wish I could've gone. But I can't. I am proud of him either way. He fails to see how proud of him I am. And maybe he did care about himself above all, but he did care about me. He ways always there for me no matter what. I'm having such a hard time with this, because I hear what everyone else is saying, and then what he is saying, and then what I feel. I can't stop crying and I just want to stay here in my bed forever.

 

[dandaman]

^ If he fails to see how proud you are of him, then he isn't worth it.
*Sorry to hear about all this, BTW.

 

[WDWKat26]

I'm really sorry to hear about your breakup, but hopefully you'll listen to my story, i'm a girl who knows about bad breakups.

First of all, he's breaking up with you because it's not what HE wants? Sounds like a selfish little boy to me, "I don't get what I want/You're not doing what I want by going to my shows" that's not right.

I dated a guy for 8 months who treated me like total (add word in here). I wasn't a priority in his life, and he was still talking to his ex of 2 years who moved to Texas. I would find e-mails, text messages from her saying that they still loved each other, and it would break my heart. I would spend my nights crying, and he would put me down, and verbally call me things that no man should call a girl. About 3 months before I moved down here, I decided to break up with him. Believe me, I thought I was in love with him, I thought he was the only man in my life right now who I could get and who would REALLY LOVE ME. Funny thing is, he didn't love me at all, and I didn't realize it until 2 weeks after we broke up and he was already dating a new girl. Of course, he begged and cried and said "Please, Please don't leave me I NEED YOU." I said, "You need yourself" and left him.

But, now that I think back, I don't want to talk to him anymore. You never realize how selfish or how bad a guy is until after you break up with them. Now I know what I want in a guy, and I do regret staying with him and putting up with what I did. But, now i'm with someone who treats me the way I want to be treated.

Either way girl, don't take it hard, and don't blame yourself even though he might be blaming you. A new day comes and in the words of Hilary Duff, "Laugh it off, let it go and when you wake up it will seem so yesterday, so yesterday, haven't you heard that i'm gonna be okay"

 

[Pippa]

Oh Maelstrom, we've all been there and hurt like nothing on earth but time really does heal, hang in there we're all here for you on WDWMagic :kiss: (Maybe theres a nice young man on the boards for you!)

BTW staying with a rubbish man is soooooo not worth it, I did and ended up divorced by the age of 23.

And if you want to stay in bed, you do that but as long as its with your friends Ben & Jerry!!!! But don't stay there too long!

:wave:

 

[maelstrom]

(Maybe theres a nice young man on the boards for you!)

Oh gosh. Talk to Benny (wilt dasney) and Adam (jaylenofan86). They'll tell you how dysfunctional I am, heh. Been there, dont that, got the t-shirt.

Thank you everyone. :kiss:

 

[barnum42]

Oh Maelstrom, we've all been there and hurt like nothing on earth but time really does heal, hang in there we're all here for you on WDWMagic :kiss:

I second the motion. I can't say how long the hurt will last, but I guarentee it does go away. :wave:

 

[Pippa]

Oh gosh. Talk to Benny (wilt dasney) and Adam (jaylenofan86). They'll tell you how dysfunctional I am, heh. Been there, dont that, got the t-shirt.

Thank you everyone. :kiss:

Its a womans right to be dysfunctional!!

 

[Disnut]

Its a womans right to be dysfunctional!!

Amen to that!!!!!

 

[mattb]

Amen to that!!!!!

Dysfunctional women? Preposterous. Never heard of 'em. :lookaroun

 

[dandaman]

Maybe you could check on the Disney singles thread?

 

[jesserin]

as my father always said -

"women put the fun into dysfunctional"
&
"they're a sad bunch to live with - but it's even worse trying to live without them."

I guess that says it all...

Just think of how lucky you are that you didn't end up marrying this guy before he pulled something like this - at least now you can have a fresh start!

 

[ClemsonTigger]

Before you beat yourself up too much, and coming from a male point of view, consider:

Weighing what you said. His criticism of your being selfish and unsupportive and the like ONLY mean you are not doing what he wants. Yes, he provided some nice comfort and a feeling of being needed, but take my word that that was a much because he wanted it, not for you.

There ARE better opportunities out there, and someone who does know how to put you first if there is real caring and love. If you had continued in this relationship, the arguments would only have escalated with you being at fault for more and more. Please don't even consider that you could go back to him and thinking that things would get better. I can bet that after he doesn't have the convenience of your attention for a week or two, he will come back to you. DON'T! Just move forward.

 

[stranger]

I agree with ClemsonTigger. To add on, having this time away from him, things will become clear as to why it didn’t work out and you’ll be more aware of what you want or don’t out of your next relationship.

The heartbreak you're feeling will go away, I promise. Now go treat yourself like the queen that you are. :wave:

 

[maelstrom]

Well, I just want to say thank you to everyone for your support.

We are (were) still talking on the phone. We'd both sit there crying, missing each other, and still saying "I love you", thinking maybe we had a chance to get back together. But you know what, !#$@ that. Today he calls me telling me that I changed my hotel at Disney (from Pop to Wildy) so that he couldn't go, as if he couldn't stay at Pop while I was at Wildy. I told him no, and he says, "oh, well that's not what I'm hearing?". Yeah, from who? My so-called "best friend" who likes to twist things and stick her nose in where it's not her business. Fine, whatever. I'm sick of the accusations. Certain "friends" are no longer friends, and I was thinking about going to his show on Saturday to show "support", but forget it now.