OK....here it is. I couldn't promise then not deliver.
***WARNING***
There are a couple areas of the article below that may not be deemed very "DISNEY" (ie. suitable for all ages). While they are humorous, I wanted to alert you to make the judgement call on your own...
Could this guy kill 'American Idol'?
By Edna Gundersen, USA TODAY
John Stevens may not have the pipes or personality of his peers, but a plurality is all he'll need to grab the American Idol title.
Music consultant Dennis O'Donnell says "I don't think anyone who's voted for him could sit and listen to 12 cuts of John Stevens."
The show's low-watt crooner sparked outrage and debate after surviving his sixth elimination round last week. The judges pronounced Stevens the weakest performer, yet the pink slip went to Jennifer Hudson. Simon Cowell predicted that the contest would narrow to a battle among soul divas, but the call-in vote shoved them to the bottom three.
Industry observers dub the amiable Stevens a green and marginal talent ill-equipped for pop stardom. Voters say otherwise.
"I have a feeling John Stevens will win!" reads one of many fawning posts on the show's Web site, idolonfox.com. "He is so special, and he improves every week."
Gag me, says George Varga, pop critic for the San Diego Union-Tribune and Copley News Service.
Stevens "could be the savior of devoted music fans across the nation," Varga says, "or he could be Satan's most promising young emissary. Assuming the former is true, his win should provide the best chance yet for American Idol's much-deserved cancellation. If not, I'd suggest a joint tour with William Hung and have Janet Jackson's right nipple as the opening act, although the nipple is probably the superior singer."
Similar views are echoed by industry observers, who snicker at the franchise but grudgingly admire its lucrative first two runs. Inaugural winner Kelly Clarkson, second-season victor Ruben Studdard and his runner-up, Clay Aiken, delivered big-selling albums.
A Stevens triumph could end that streak, says music consultant Dennis O'Donnell.
"With this kid, what can you do?" he says. "He's not an engaging personality. He's not even (U.K. music-hall popster) Gilbert O'Sullivan. You have no one-hit-wonder capability in this equation."
Stevens' lounge style appeals to "a very narrow audience, and we're already swung out to death," he says. "He's no Brian Setzer, and he's not going to sing with the Squirrel Nut Zippers. There might be a television theme in him, like a Jack Jones/Love Boat kind of thing."
The 16-year-old's inexperience and meager skills pose huge obstacles, even with Idol's high-profile platform and army of pros.
"The first thing I'd recommend is vocal lessons," music consultant Tom Vickers says. "I'd broaden his material so he's not locked in this lounge-wannabe genre. He doesn't have much charisma or firepower. He's a one-note samba.
"I imagine the only reason he's gotten this far is that he's a really attractive kid. Teen girls may be voting for him in droves, but I doubt they'll buy his record."
O'Donnell concurs: "I don't believe there's a record in John Stevens. And I don't think anyone who's voted for him could sit and listen to 12 cuts of John Stevens.
"This guy is the bland, mellow and inoffensive voice of Muzak's future, a new Roger Whittaker," he adds, referring to the British easy-listening singer/whistler.
A Stevens win could damage the talent show's credibility by tilting toward novelty figures, "a door that was opened by William Hung, who is the best hook American Idol had this year," he says.
Idol risks its reputation each time Stevens squeaks through, says Vickers, noting that finalists at this stage in earlier races displayed more raw talent and potential.
"They may not have been the greatest talents on the planet, but they could get through a song," he says. "This guy can barely do that. The show is starting to play itself out. If Stevens wins, it would be another nail in the coffin."
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