A VERY sensitive topic

[WaltzingMatilda]

Our trip is booked for the last week of September and a member of our party has...don't know how else to say it..."weight" issues. My hope is that this person will make an effort to get into shape but every time I've tried to broach the topic I'm rebuffed (which I understand...who wants to be criticized?). I want everyone involved to have a good time, but most importantly this person and I think they will have a better time (in life, not just Disney) if steps were taken to address this issue. I don't care about looks, just health and general enjoyment of life. There is no medical condition involved, just poor nutrition choices and lack of execise. I think this person will enjoy their visit to the park much more if steps were taken towards a fitness goal.

Wow..I'm kind of freaked out about even posting this.

Thanks for your understanding.

 

[William Marsden]

Weight can be a very personal issue. Not just because many people are sensitive about how much they might weigh, but because there are so many factors that go into someones body size. Some of these issues are beyond a persons control such as genetics and the enviornment you were raised in. Of coarse, many factors are controlable and an overweight person needs to take personal responsability.

I'm 6'0 and around 370 lbs. Both of my parents were obese. 3 of my 4 siblings have struggled alot with weight issues. As a kid I was always rewarded with food. All of this is beyond my control. That said, when a little kid asks me why I'm fat I tell him or her that I'm fat because I eat too much of the wrong foods and I don't excercise enough. Most problems are caused by personal choices. Your friend is the only person who is going to be able to help himself with this problem. You can encourage, you may be able to give him some helpful tools like walking with him or giving him Dr. Phils book (I would suggest staying away from severly restrictive diets like the high protein or vegetarian diets promoted by so many).

Another thing to remember; dealing with obesity is a tough problem. I've met a lot of fattys in my 46 years. I've yet to meet one who wouldn't prefer to be skinny. Unlike cigarettes, alcohol or drugs, you can't just tell someone to stop eating. Alot of us fatties are waiting for some wonderful drug(s) that can give us a more permanent solution. Whoever finally markets that drug is going to be richer then Bill Gates. Millions of people would pay anything for such a solution.

My short term answer for being with your friend at WDW, and I cannot stress this enough; RENT AN ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIR!!! I don't know why I was so resistant to this. For years when I went to WDW I dealt with an aching back, hurting, aching feet, resting every 15 to 30 minutes and an impatiant wife and now an impatiant daughter. Maybe it was the money. Maybe it was the fact that people may stare at me. Maybe it was that I felt that I shouldn't be in a wheelchair because I didn't have a broken leg or a dehabilitating disease, I was just fat. Finally, I just told myself that all of these concerns were stupid. Here I was at my favorite place on earth having a miserable time. I rented the wheelchair. I was happier. My wife, and my daughter were happier. No more aches and pains. No more frequent rest stops. The WDW staff couldn't be more helpful and kind. You'll be so much happier not hearing any complaining from your friend. You even get an added perk of being able to bypass most of the lines. I'm now trying very hard to lose weight. There's too much out there that I still want to do and being morbidly obese is really taking a gamble with my life expectancy. I don't want to leave my wife a young widow or my daughter fatherless. One day I hope to be able to spend a day at WDW without becoming tired and sore but until that day I'll spend the extra $35.00 a day for happiness versus misery.

 

[brich]

As has been stated....I'm sure that they are aware of their weight being a problem and if they really wanted your advice on losing weight, I'm sure they'd ask for it.

So offense...but if you were really concerned for their health you would or should have said something long before now.

Not only that....they didn't put the weight on overnight so they shouldn't lose it overnight either. Even if they start today, they probably won't lose enough for your satisfaction by the time the trip comes anyway.

Basically....mind your own business.

So beautifully and eloquently put...
A little information for ya, some people don't know how to ask for help. And you base your judgment on the OP's motives on what? And who's satisfaction?

Sounds like you got some issues yourself. Maybe you just need a hug or something.:hammer: In any event, very constructive tone you took. I'm sure that's what we all wanted to hear. Good stuff. Keep it up. Great contribution..

 

[fers31]

Weight can be a very personal issue. Not just because many people are sensitive about how much they might weigh, but because there are so many factors that go into someones body size. Some of these issues are beyond a persons control such as genetics and the enviornment you were raised in. Of coarse, many factors are controlable and an overweight person needs to take personal responsability.

I'm 6'0 and around 370 lbs. Both of my parents were obese. 3 of my 4 siblings have struggled alot with weight issues. As a kid I was always rewarded with food. All of this is beyond my control. That said, when a little kid asks me why I'm fat I tell him or her that I'm fat because I eat too much of the wrong foods and I don't excercise enough. Most problems are caused by personal choices. Your friend is the only person who is going to be able to help himself with this problem. You can encourage, you may be able to give him some helpful tools like walking with him or giving him Dr. Phils book (I would suggest staying away from severly restrictive diets like the high protein or vegetarian diets promoted by so many).

Another thing to remember; dealing with obesity is a tough problem. I've met a lot of fattys in my 46 years. I've yet to meet one who wouldn't prefer to be skinny. Unlike cigarettes, alcohol or drugs, you can't just tell someone to stop eating. Alot of us fatties are waiting for some wonderful drug(s) that can give us a more permanent solution. Whoever finally markets that drug is going to be richer then Bill Gates. Millions of people would pay anything for such a solution.

My short term answer for being with your friend at WDW, and I cannot stress this enough; RENT AN ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIR!!! I don't know why I was so resistant to this. For years when I went to WDW I dealt with an aching back, hurting, aching feet, resting every 15 to 30 minutes and an impatiant wife and now an impatiant daughter. Maybe it was the money. Maybe it was the fact that people may stare at me. Maybe it was that I felt that I shouldn't be in a wheelchair because I didn't have a broken leg or a dehabilitating disease, I was just fat. Finally, I just told myself that all of these concerns were stupid. Here I was at my favorite place on earth having a miserable time. I rented the wheelchair. I was happier. My wife, and my daughter were happier. No more aches and pains. No more frequent rest stops. The WDW staff couldn't be more helpful and kind. You'll be so much happier not hearing any complaining from your friend. You even get an added perk of being able to bypass most of the lines. I'm now trying very hard to lose weight. There's too much out there that I still want to do and being morbidly obese is really taking a gamble with my life expectancy. I don't want to leave my wife a young widow or my daughter fatherless. One day I hope to be able to spend a day at WDW without becoming tired and sore but until that day I'll spend the extra $35.00 a day for happiness versus misery.

As long as you wait in line like everyone else (and not go to the front), enjoy your wheelchair.

 

[William Marsden]

As long as you wait in line like everyone else (and not go to the front), enjoy your wheelchair.

Not my decision. On many of the rides, the rails in the waiting cues are too narrow for wheelchairs. Most rides have a special wheelchair access. The attendent asks if you can get into the ride vehicle without any help and you then get on the ride most times in front of everyone else. Sorry if this offends you.:lol:

 

[minnie2000]

I do not take offence at the opening post, but I think the OP is a little insensitive. The person you are talking about knows that they are overweight - trust me - its not something that you can ever forget.

So many people think that people who are overweight just sit and watch tv and eat junk food! That just isn't true. Until I had my first child I could eat anything and not put on weight. I was even comfortable in a bikini!

With both my pregnancies I put on weight - although I didn't overeat- and worked full time. Then I had an illness and had to take betablockers for 6 months. That put an extra 2 stone on me. Now I eat very healthily, lots of fruit and veg, chicken and fish, I don't eat chocolate, crisps, ice cream, biscuits etc. although I do treat myself once a fortnight and have a Chinese takeaway. I don't even drink alcohol, as it is full of calories! I have tried diets and exercising, and both together, but so far nothing has worked. I will keep trying. But - please be aware - people say that you only need to eat healthily and do a little exercise - it doesn't always work.

 

[WaltzingMatilda]

My Apologies

The first thing I want to say is I'm sorry for any offense or hurt feelings. In retrospect I can see it's an issue that I shouldn't have brought up. Wasn't thinking it all the way through...sorry!!!!

Second, thanks for the insights and input. There are a lot of good suggestions here (including the "mind your own business"!) and I appreciate everyone's responses.

 

[Mystic]

I'm not going to get into the weight issue but here's a suggestion for you WaltzingMatilda. Why not get the person involved in picking out places to eat. Let them see what the menus are like (you can find them here and on allearsnet.com). Also, you don't have to skip dessert. Why not split it between you? My mom and I do this all the time and the waitstaff never questions us on it. We order 1 dessert and 2 spoons/forks. This way we still get dessert but not too much of it. Also by planning your meals ahead of time, and this includes having an idea, not necessarily ressies unless it's a sit down restaurant, of where you want to eat each day. You'll find that if you more or less plan out your plan of attack when it comes to food, you're party will snack less. I'm not saying cut out all snacks entirely. When my mother and I plan out trip, where we're eating each day is big part of our planning. This lets us not worry about it when we're there and we still have 1 snack a day.

Look at the menus and get your friend involved. Let them see that DW has the healthier food choices without getting into it about their weight.

 

[PurpleDragon]

I think the "get your Disney Legs ready" is a great idea for anyone and everyone and would fit any scenario, regardless of weight or age.

I think getting into shape before going to WDW will help everyone enjoy their vacation that much more. Cause it lets you spend more of the day visiting parks without getting worn out or tired. Its a good way to maximize your day.

My wife and I are doing something similar for our trip to the beach in August, we are riding our bikes 2-3 days a week to get used to riding them when we take them down to the beach. Great way to get exercise, and will pay off when we finally do get to the beach and use our bikes as our main form of transport.

 

[masterv]

Stop being so touchy about your weight...you want everyone to "accept you for who you are," but then you don't accept yourslef or how other people are. Just relax! And have a good time at Disney

Trust me. I've "accepted who I am". It's other people who can't "accept who I am." I haven't always been a big person and picked up the weight in college. In fact, in high school I played sports and was thin as a rail. But when I was thin, I was NEVER rude as some people have been to me. Dirty looks and mean spirited comments are just some of the crap I've had to indure being a big person. I've also had people who thought they were looking out for my best interest want to have this intervention style talk with me. IF I WANT YOUR HELP I'LL ASK FOR IT. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! I believe thats what most people in this thread have been getting at with their posts.

And I always do have a good time at Disney. I'm sure your overweight friend will too. Dont' assume just becuase they are a big person that they can't do the parks. Like I mentioned in a post earlier, I'm a big guy and could probably wear most of you thin people out. I love Disney what can I say.

 

[banimall]

Hey, look at Chris Farley doing that cartwheel in the begining of Tommy Boy, you never know what people are capable of. Enjoy the trip.

 

[Tweedle Adie]

The first thing I want to say is I'm sorry for any offense or hurt feelings. In retrospect I can see it's an issue that I shouldn't have brought up. Wasn't thinking it all the way through...sorry!!!!

Second, thanks for the insights and input. There are a lot of good suggestions here (including the "mind your own business"!) and I appreciate everyone's responses.

I was not insulted (however I accepted that I am average sized 5'6" and a size 14) and I am guessing that a lot of the posts here were more of a becareful how you approach this then a this is flat out insulting topic. I know from my point of view I would be deeply hurt if I felt like I was being singled out for any reason. The last thing you want to do is make this person feel like they are "too fat" for WDW. I remembr being at IOA and they had seats outside of all of the roller coasters to see if you could fit. I remember thinking thank goodness WDW doesn't have such size limits. I always hate when people cannot go on a ride they really want to go on.

 

[Glasgow]

For those saying 'Mind your own business, I'll ask for help if I want it', what if said person actually does have a problem? Would you let them eat themselves to death? Would you let a friend with a drug problem get to within inches of death because they wouldn't ask you for help?

My point is that as long as you are thinking of someone elses well-being and not your own, I don't think you can go wrong as long as you go about it the right way. If they reject you then fine - if they are a true friend they will understand that you are thinking of them and their health.

I can appreciate everyone's opinion and good job to most posters for keeping the topic constructive.

 

[masterv]

I remembr being at IOA and they had seats outside of all of the roller coasters to see if you could fit. I remember thinking thank goodness WDW doesn't have such size limits. I always hate when people cannot go on a ride they really want to go on.

Which is one of the many reasons I'm not that big on IOA or US. I've been to other theme parks other than Disney and these two places are the only ones that had one or two rides that I couldn't fit. They need to understand that not everyone comes in a small package.

 

[masterv]

For those saying 'Mind your own business, I'll ask for help if I want it', what if said person actually does have a problem? Would you let them eat themselves to death? Would you let a friend with a drug problem get to within inches of death because they wouldn't ask you for help?

My point is that as long as you are thinking of someone elses well-being and not your own, I don't think you can go wrong as long as you go about it the right way. If they reject you then fine - if they are a true friend they will understand that you are thinking of them and their health.

I can appreciate everyone's opinion and good job to most posters for keeping the topic constructive.

Can you really compare someone with a drug problem to someone who is overweight? It's like comparing apples with oranges. Sure, If I had a close friend and I knew they had a drug problem that would kill them I'd try to get them help. But they would have to be a close friend and they would have to want the help. Honestly, I try not to set myself up for those situations. I'm not a drug counselor so I wouldn't want to say something to upset that person that might push them over the edge. We are all responsible for our own actions. That's not a fair position to put me in. So I guess that is why I ususally just mind my own business when it comes to certain situations.

The only way I'd agree with you is if they were putting some other person is harms way. For example, if a parent was absuing a child I feel I'd have to step in for the sake of the child.

And I echo your statement about keeping the topic civil. It just goes to show you that Disney fans are pretty cool folks.

 

[slappy magoo]

Speaking as a member of the Fatty Fatty Boombalatty Brigade (though now I'm more of a junior member, having dropped over 100 lbs, and sloooowly gained 35-40 of it back), I'd definitely use the "Disney Legs" excuse as a means to get this person-heck your whole party-some exercise so they can handle the exertion most of us face when at WDW.

But it doesn't have to end there.

Now knowing your schedule or that of your friend, if you truly care, I'd suggest you taking this friend out for as much physical activity as you possibly can. Shoot some hoops, kick a soccer ball around, do some gardening or lift some weights. NEVER make it about your friend losing weight, and never make it a competitive thing. ALWAYS present it as "Hey, I'm bored, wanna go do something?" "Hey, I'm gonna try to bench more than I'm used to, could you spot me, and then I'll spot you?" Anything to disguise the fact that you're both getting some exercise in will yield more surprising, less-stressful results for the two of you. And if you go out to eat locally, try to find places with healthier fare, and say the place was recommended to you by coworkers.

The only other thing to remember is to not get angry with your friend (or yourself) if the weight doesn't drop. Everyone who needs to lose weight only does so when he or she is ready, and if your friend eats Ring Dings at midnight, there's not much you can do about that.

I, for one, figured your question came from concern and love and not out of a sense of selfishness. It's not that you don't want to be seen with overweight people, as if that were some sort of stigma (and plenty of people do indeed think that way), but that you want everyone to get as much enjoyment out of the vacation as possible. Just know that perhaps your friend derives the most fun from eating whatever seems pleasing at the time. Can't do much about that, but it's nice to know you think about the health and well-being of your friends.

 

[pinjim]

I love getting in shape to go to Disney - it's a big help.
I love being at Disney - the food is great and the walking helps keep it off!

 

[Glasgow]

Can you really compare someone with a drug problem to someone who is overweight? It's like comparing apples with oranges. Sure, If I had a close friend and I knew they had a drug problem that would kill them I'd try to get them help. But they would have to be a close friend and they would have to want the help. Honestly, I try not to set myself up for those situations. I'm not a drug counselor so I wouldn't want to say something to upset that person that might push them over the edge. We are all responsible for our own actions. That's not a fair position to put me in. So I guess that is why I ususally just mind my own business when it comes to certain situations.

The only way I'd agree with you is if they were putting some other person is harms way. For example, if a parent was absuing a child I feel I'd have to step in for the sake of the child.

And I echo your statement about keeping the topic civil. It just goes to show you that Disney fans are pretty cool folks.

I'm absolutely not trying to make light of anyone's situation and definitely do not see weight and drug struggles as equal situations.

I was only meaning that as long as the OP (or anyone, for that matter) has the other person's best interest at heart then I think they'll be okay. :wave:

 

[Kadee]

I'm someone who is constantly struggling with my weight, and trust me, I know when I'm "fat" so neither need nor appreciate it when someone else points it out to me.

If losing, and KEEPING, weight off were easy, we would all be at our ideal weight. It takes me almost a month to lose a pound or two, but I can gain 5 pounds in a week.

AMEN! Can I give you a hug?!!! I am the same way. It is an all out war for me to lose weight. I know every ounce of fat that is on my body. I completely agree with you that I nor anyone else does not need anyone confirming that.

 

[Erika]

Weight aside, I agree that anybody who is not used to exercising needs to prep a little before hitting the parks. My poor MIL was miserable when we went- her legs and feet were so sore after the first day that the rest of the trip was really hard for her.

 

[shoppingnut]

I really like the idea of getting your working on your disney legs. I think that is a great idea.

I'm a bit overweight too, so I understand the struggle to an extent. However, someone's struggle who is severely overweight is way different than mine. If I had a box of yodel's, I'd probably eat two because I love them, but a severely overweight person might not be able to stop there, not until they reached the end of the box. I can also pass it by in the food store, but they might not be able to, their problem is different and is more along the lines of an addiction.