I've been a Chicago Cub fan since 1971.
I chose the Cubs as my team not because of where I lived, whether it was northside or southside of Chicago as most do, I was born on the westside of Chicago.
It was a very simple decision a 6 year old boy can make.
My Mom enrolled me in little league that summer and the team I was placed on was the Cubs. I wore #3 proudly, I remember at that young age that #3 was Babe Ruth's number, though never a Cub, "the Babe" was one of my early heros as a child.
I chose the Cubs because it was the team I played for, the uniform I wore, I felt a kinship. For me loyalty is always everything even at that age. At that young age I made that connection to the Chicago Cubs and I began watching Fergie Jenkins, Don Kessinger, Ron Santo and Billy Williams on my little B&W TV set. I didn't know then of the Cubs history, I probably wouldn't have cared if I did.
I didn't spring from a very big sports family. My dad didn't throw a ball to me ever in our backyard neither did my Grandfather. There were other things we did to connect with each other. Sports was not one of them. I don't even remember my family coming to many of my games. I remember being dropped off and picked up after.
I played baseball in high school as well, my primary position since little league was right field and I played 1st base as secondary. When I sat on the bench I would catch for the pitchers warming up.
I love baseball, more than football even, I don't know why so much, just that I do. I went to the games on my own as a teenager. I remember the first time I walked into Wrigley Field and saw the diamond and field below from the upper deck aisle along the first base line. I was in awe, it was so beautiful, smaller than it looked on TV and so very green.
I took my little brother to the game that day, he looked up to me and I wanted to give to him what I was giving to myself and what our dad never did. My brother died 8 years later.
It was free hat day, we both got a Cubs cap. It was 1984 and the Cubs were just starting the season, the Cubs were playing the Astros and after a rain delay or two, the Cubs won that game. It was a perfect spring day, despite the rain.
As many Cub fans before me, I have suffered immeasurable agony and disappointmment for my team since that first summer I made my choice.
I won't go into every incident, but it was after 1984 when I felt the worst.
As a Cub fan I have suffered through the ribbing from fans of other teams, some light hearted and good natured, but some downright mean and confrontational.
I remember one morning on vacation I was having some coffee and a bagel in the concierge lounge at the Polynesian in 2007. I was wearing a Cubs T-shirt at the time. The Cubs were trying to come back that year from being in last place the year before. The Cubs looked promising.
Some guy came walking through the lounge and I heard him scoff loudly as he walked by me. I looked up, previously minding my own business. I noticed this guy looking at my shirt and he said, "Cubs?, You've got to be kidding! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Not only was it very rude to insult a perfect stranger, but I was over twice this guys size, though I was sitting at the time. I've never been ashamed to be a Cubs fan, though I have been ashamed of how they perform. I looked up at the guy very sternly and matter-of-factly and said..."Yeah,...da Cubs, You got a problem wit dat? I don't know how far I would have gone to defend my team, but hey, the guy called me out, I'm not backing down! The guy must have realized that he probably bit off more than he could chew and put up his hands and said "no, no, no, no problem!" He then scurried away. I wondered to myself what the purpose of that was. I thought the guy had to be a White Sox fan, could be wrong though.
Back to 2008, I woke up early this morning, readying myself for work, all the time thinking to myself will I watch Game 3 tonight. I, like many Cub fans really thought we were going to do it this year. After game 1 and 2 I feel like I did in 1984 and 2003 and 2007. How did it come to this?
I overcame the temptation to trash my team to others, I am raging inside and it's not because of the losses. It is because I know this 2008 team is the best Cubs team I have ever saw, even better than 1984 in my opinion. To watch game 1 and 2 this week was like watching some other team.
I have read and heard many fans from other teams trash the Cubs and Cub fans in general. I have also heard Cub fans retaliate in kind and act like total idiots. I won't trash anyone for who their team is and I won't let the failings of my team cause me to lash out at others.
My decision to watch or not watch my team in game 3 tonight is not based on my anger or frustration, it is mostly to save myself the pain of watching them go down and swept under the rug. Not because they were beaten by a superior team. Because my team is not playing to their ability.
I never believed in "the curse," silly superstition which has been a stigma over the Cubs for a long time, for awhile a romantic distraction. This curse talk is also very dangerous, I do believe the heaviness of what these play off games mean has gotten into the heads of the players and they wind up beating themselves. As the years go on and a championship continues to elude the Cubs it makes that stigma only worse and heavier. It is in the makeup of the fans and it carries over to the players.
I will watch tonight's game with the anticipation I had before game 1. After all, to quote actor Bill Murray another Cub fan who said in the Chicago Tribune this morning. If the Padres could do it to the Cubs in 1984, the Cubs can certainly do it to the Dodgers tonight. Wishful thinking most certainly, especially coming from a Cub fan. But it is true, it is what baseball is.
I may waver and in the heat of a crushing loss I may curse and shake my fist. But I will always recover. I told my wife while I sat up in bed watching the Cubs lose game 2 Thursday night. I told her that I could never go over to the White Sox or any other team and change my allegiance. I could more easily cut off my right arm. I've seen those people, friends, co-workers that wear a teams colors one season and anothers the next, that's not me.
My wife, not a big baseball fan, nags me, "Why do you do it to yourself?, You know they're going to break your heart again!" My response to her always is, "Not this time it's different, this year!" She shakes her head in sympathy.
I don't have sons but I've got two young daughters. My oldest has shown interest in my baseball. She has come into the room while I'm watching the Cubs and sits quietly next to me watching the game with me. Automatically I find myself turning to her teaching her the game, the strategy, the science the emotion. She asks me questions as if she really wants to know. I know she probably just wants to connect with me and maybe I'm doing her a disservice. She may fall into becoming a Cubs fan like her father and be doomed to a life of disappointment. As I'm explaining the game to her I remember having no one there to explain it to me when I was a kid. I had to find out on my own. I'm glad I can be there for her, not just about baseball but in life in general. It feels good spending that time with my daughter watching the Cubs win or lose.
If the Cubs lose tonight, oh well, it's not like I've never been there before. It is my hope that this team will still do it tonight and come through, as a team they deserve it, they played so well this year. I wouldn't want it handed to them though, they have to earn it to be respected.
Just something I needed to get off my chest on this eve of the Cubs demise or unbelievable comeback.
Being a Chicago Cubs fan is like living life, many moments of excitement and anticipation with moments of crushing disappointment to keep you in perspective.
I chose the Cubs as my team not because of where I lived, whether it was northside or southside of Chicago as most do, I was born on the westside of Chicago.
It was a very simple decision a 6 year old boy can make.
My Mom enrolled me in little league that summer and the team I was placed on was the Cubs. I wore #3 proudly, I remember at that young age that #3 was Babe Ruth's number, though never a Cub, "the Babe" was one of my early heros as a child.
I chose the Cubs because it was the team I played for, the uniform I wore, I felt a kinship. For me loyalty is always everything even at that age. At that young age I made that connection to the Chicago Cubs and I began watching Fergie Jenkins, Don Kessinger, Ron Santo and Billy Williams on my little B&W TV set. I didn't know then of the Cubs history, I probably wouldn't have cared if I did.
I didn't spring from a very big sports family. My dad didn't throw a ball to me ever in our backyard neither did my Grandfather. There were other things we did to connect with each other. Sports was not one of them. I don't even remember my family coming to many of my games. I remember being dropped off and picked up after.
I played baseball in high school as well, my primary position since little league was right field and I played 1st base as secondary. When I sat on the bench I would catch for the pitchers warming up.
I love baseball, more than football even, I don't know why so much, just that I do. I went to the games on my own as a teenager. I remember the first time I walked into Wrigley Field and saw the diamond and field below from the upper deck aisle along the first base line. I was in awe, it was so beautiful, smaller than it looked on TV and so very green.
I took my little brother to the game that day, he looked up to me and I wanted to give to him what I was giving to myself and what our dad never did. My brother died 8 years later.
It was free hat day, we both got a Cubs cap. It was 1984 and the Cubs were just starting the season, the Cubs were playing the Astros and after a rain delay or two, the Cubs won that game. It was a perfect spring day, despite the rain.
As many Cub fans before me, I have suffered immeasurable agony and disappointmment for my team since that first summer I made my choice.
I won't go into every incident, but it was after 1984 when I felt the worst.
As a Cub fan I have suffered through the ribbing from fans of other teams, some light hearted and good natured, but some downright mean and confrontational.
I remember one morning on vacation I was having some coffee and a bagel in the concierge lounge at the Polynesian in 2007. I was wearing a Cubs T-shirt at the time. The Cubs were trying to come back that year from being in last place the year before. The Cubs looked promising.
Some guy came walking through the lounge and I heard him scoff loudly as he walked by me. I looked up, previously minding my own business. I noticed this guy looking at my shirt and he said, "Cubs?, You've got to be kidding! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Not only was it very rude to insult a perfect stranger, but I was over twice this guys size, though I was sitting at the time. I've never been ashamed to be a Cubs fan, though I have been ashamed of how they perform. I looked up at the guy very sternly and matter-of-factly and said..."Yeah,...da Cubs, You got a problem wit dat? I don't know how far I would have gone to defend my team, but hey, the guy called me out, I'm not backing down! The guy must have realized that he probably bit off more than he could chew and put up his hands and said "no, no, no, no problem!" He then scurried away. I wondered to myself what the purpose of that was. I thought the guy had to be a White Sox fan, could be wrong though.
Back to 2008, I woke up early this morning, readying myself for work, all the time thinking to myself will I watch Game 3 tonight. I, like many Cub fans really thought we were going to do it this year. After game 1 and 2 I feel like I did in 1984 and 2003 and 2007. How did it come to this?
I overcame the temptation to trash my team to others, I am raging inside and it's not because of the losses. It is because I know this 2008 team is the best Cubs team I have ever saw, even better than 1984 in my opinion. To watch game 1 and 2 this week was like watching some other team.
I have read and heard many fans from other teams trash the Cubs and Cub fans in general. I have also heard Cub fans retaliate in kind and act like total idiots. I won't trash anyone for who their team is and I won't let the failings of my team cause me to lash out at others.
My decision to watch or not watch my team in game 3 tonight is not based on my anger or frustration, it is mostly to save myself the pain of watching them go down and swept under the rug. Not because they were beaten by a superior team. Because my team is not playing to their ability.
I never believed in "the curse," silly superstition which has been a stigma over the Cubs for a long time, for awhile a romantic distraction. This curse talk is also very dangerous, I do believe the heaviness of what these play off games mean has gotten into the heads of the players and they wind up beating themselves. As the years go on and a championship continues to elude the Cubs it makes that stigma only worse and heavier. It is in the makeup of the fans and it carries over to the players.
I will watch tonight's game with the anticipation I had before game 1. After all, to quote actor Bill Murray another Cub fan who said in the Chicago Tribune this morning. If the Padres could do it to the Cubs in 1984, the Cubs can certainly do it to the Dodgers tonight. Wishful thinking most certainly, especially coming from a Cub fan. But it is true, it is what baseball is.
I may waver and in the heat of a crushing loss I may curse and shake my fist. But I will always recover. I told my wife while I sat up in bed watching the Cubs lose game 2 Thursday night. I told her that I could never go over to the White Sox or any other team and change my allegiance. I could more easily cut off my right arm. I've seen those people, friends, co-workers that wear a teams colors one season and anothers the next, that's not me.
My wife, not a big baseball fan, nags me, "Why do you do it to yourself?, You know they're going to break your heart again!" My response to her always is, "Not this time it's different, this year!" She shakes her head in sympathy.
I don't have sons but I've got two young daughters. My oldest has shown interest in my baseball. She has come into the room while I'm watching the Cubs and sits quietly next to me watching the game with me. Automatically I find myself turning to her teaching her the game, the strategy, the science the emotion. She asks me questions as if she really wants to know. I know she probably just wants to connect with me and maybe I'm doing her a disservice. She may fall into becoming a Cubs fan like her father and be doomed to a life of disappointment. As I'm explaining the game to her I remember having no one there to explain it to me when I was a kid. I had to find out on my own. I'm glad I can be there for her, not just about baseball but in life in general. It feels good spending that time with my daughter watching the Cubs win or lose.
If the Cubs lose tonight, oh well, it's not like I've never been there before. It is my hope that this team will still do it tonight and come through, as a team they deserve it, they played so well this year. I wouldn't want it handed to them though, they have to earn it to be respected.
Just something I needed to get off my chest on this eve of the Cubs demise or unbelievable comeback.
Being a Chicago Cubs fan is like living life, many moments of excitement and anticipation with moments of crushing disappointment to keep you in perspective.
