working out for Disney

[Sans Souci]

That's the thing....we're taught such bad things in regards to that. Number one, we're taught that boys harassing us is just how boys are and that we should be flattered, because it means they like us. Number two, we're taught that it's up to us to prevent harassment by wearing modest clothing, and not being where we "shouldn't be", etc. My mom always taught me to laugh and smile when someone was awful to me, to not let them know they got to me. Which sounds fine in theory, but in reality, it just made him and the teacher think I liked the attention, so they didn't take it seriously when I reported it. And I would have gotten in major trouble if I'd have slapped him or anything, but if you DON'T, then they ask you why you didn't do anything....you must have liked it. It's so contradictory. There was no way I could win. It was my fault because I "encouraged" it, but fighting him off would have resulted in MY getting into trouble, not him. We supposedly had a zero tolerance policy, but if that were true, the science teacher would have handled it as soon as I reported feeling uncomfortable. And no one seemed to know this was going on. Other kids probably would have said no, there's no problem with that in our school, and there's a lot of joking that goes on, but they wouldn't have characterized it as harassment. I used to pin my shirt to the waistband of my pants, because boys were pantsing girls in the hallways. And there was a thing where boys would go up to a girl and ask "How do you scare a bee? BOO, bee!" and they would grab her chest. So there was absolutely a problem with harassment in our school, and there was absolutely a culture of "boys will be boys". And the boys would have just said they were joking around and didn't mean anything serious by it. School administrators probably would have touted the zero-tolerance policy and said it didn't happen in our school. It 100% happened, and I don't think it was ever really handled. They agreed to look the other way with my harasser as long as he agreed to leave me alone, but really, considering that he admitted to doing it, he should have been suspended. I could have pressed charges, but then I would have been seen as "over-reacting" and again, it would have been my fault because I blushed and had the nervous giggle and tried to act like it wasn't bothering me, etc. It wouldn't have done any good to press charges...look what happened when I reported it, and when my brother slammed the kid against a locker. Nothing was done to him. He didn't get in trouble. So zero tolerance policies are not always zero tolerance policies. And just a few years ago, when I was talking about the incident online, someone called me a Karen for complaining about the harassment and saying I should have pressed charges at the time.

Exactly. All of this. I hope things are better for girls now.

 

[Sans Souci]

Good afternoon.

It's very warm, but breezy here, so it feels great to be outdoors. I did a quick workout this AM. I had an appointment at 8, so I wanted to do something short, but sweet.

I finally got a return call about getting my images. OMG, the man I spoke to seemed so put out by what I was asking for. I still have an appointment at my local radiology department JIC. I am going to drop it this week. He could see that I have an appt locally and told me I don't need them. I told him I was going up to Princeton because they could fit me in sooner. He said, "It's only 8 days sooner." Yes, it's 8 days sooner to get an answer. I'm not apologizing for that. Anyway, he told me he'd try to have it by the 17th and I asked if I could pick them up locally, instead of going into Philly. He sighed and said, "Anything else?" You would have thought I was asking him to copy the Bible by hand and to have it for me today at 5.

On the bright side, I saw my new gyn NP and she made me feel heard. She took the time to answer my questions and she didn't dismiss my concerns. I left the office in good spirits.

 

[Songbird76]

Exactly. All of this. I hope things are better for girls now.

I wish, but I'm pretty sure they aren't. One of my best friends back in the US has a daughter in high school and has had to fight the administration about a ton of issues. I know I read about a guy, and it may have been in the news, or it may have been at this girl's high school, but a girl was sent home to change clothes because her shirt was considered "distracting". So a boy decided to see what would happen if HE wore the shirt...and it was fine. They did nothing. I know it's slightly different than harassment, but it's definitely a related issue.

 

[Songbird76]

E and I have been doing pretty well with exercise in the last week. On days that I haven't had to work, we've gotten out to take a long walk. Today, we opted to ride our bikes because I needed to go to the Centrum to pick up new shoes I ordered for E, and we wanted to go to Bagels and Beans that just opened. Normally we would walk to the Centrum, but it takes a long time, and E's exams start tomorrow, so she needs the time to study instead. So we did bikes today. The weather didn't play nice last week, but we got out Saturday and Sunday and walked about 3 miles. And I mowed the lawn this morning, so that's a little extra.

 

[ajrwdwgirl]

I wish, but I'm pretty sure they aren't. One of my best friends back in the US has a daughter in high school and has had to fight the administration about a ton of issues. I know I read about a guy, and it may have been in the news, or it may have been at this girl's high school, but a girl was sent home to change clothes because her shirt was considered "distracting". So a boy decided to see what would happen if HE wore the shirt...and it was fine. They did nothing. I know it's slightly different than harassment, but it's definitely a related issue.

That's why I don't really say anything about what the girls wear at my school. Although I did ask one girl to put on a different shirt once because when she reached up the shirt came up mid bra, that was a little too short of a shirt. But in general it isn't up to a girl to not "distract" boys, it is up to the boys to not get distracted.

 

[Songbird76]

That's why I don't really say anything about what the girls wear at my school. Although I did ask one girl to put on a different shirt once because when she reached up the shirt came up mid bra, that was a little too short of a shirt. But in general it isn't up to a girl to not "distract" boys, it is up to the boys to not get distracted.

I got really mad a couple of years ago because one of E's teachers approached her after class and told her she should maybe not wear the dress she was wearing, because some of her male colleagues might find it a bit too tempting. There was nothing promiscuous about her dress, but she is well-endowed and the dress had ruching on the bodice and obviously you could tell she is female. But the dress wasn't low cut, it went almost to her knees, it had short sleeves...it was very flattering for her figure. For a teacher to tell a girl to dress differently because old men will look at her...yuck...first of all, she's being pretty unfair to her male colleagues if she thinks they are looking at teenage girls inappropriately. Second, if she SAW someone looking at E, then she needed to take it up with that teacher or the higher ups in the school....that's not E's fault, that's the man who's looking at a young girl. E never dared to wear that dress again, because she was afraid of attracting attention, even though it looked super cute on her. And it was a FEMALE teacher who told her she should dress differently. It made me really mad that she said that to E. It was inappropriate for her to comment on it.

 

[Sans Souci]

I wish, but I'm pretty sure they aren't. One of my best friends back in the US has a daughter in high school and has had to fight the administration about a ton of issues. I know I read about a guy, and it may have been in the news, or it may have been at this girl's high school, but a girl was sent home to change clothes because her shirt was considered "distracting". So a boy decided to see what would happen if HE wore the shirt...and it was fine. They did nothing. I know it's slightly different than harassment, but it's definitely a related issue.

Yeah, that sort of stuff is still happening and still makes the news, unfortunately.

Florida high school altered girls’ yearbook photos to hide their chests - National | Globalnews.ca

A Florida high school digitally altered 80 students' yearbook photos to raise their necklines under its controversial dress code.

globalnews.ca

 

[Sans Souci]

Good morning

I did another quick workout. Right now, I've rather have an intense workout that is short over a longer, moderate workout. I'm trying to let go of worrying about how many calories I burn in a workout vs. what I want to do because I enjoy it. I think this can be a downside of activity trackers.

I also went out for breakfast. My husband is off today. I was getting ready to go on a full assault of cleaning the bathrooms, when he asked me if I wanted to go out for breakfast. Oh, gee, let me think about it, cleaning bathrooms or going out for breakfast.

 

[Songbird76]

Yeah, that sort of stuff is still happening and still makes the news, unfortunately.

Florida high school altered girls’ yearbook photos to hide their chests - National | Globalnews.ca

A Florida high school digitally altered 80 students' yearbook photos to raise their necklines under its controversial dress code.

globalnews.ca

Yikes. Yep....it's disgusting that they do things like this. It just exacerbates the problem. It draws attention to the very things they want covered up.

 

[Sans Souci]

I got really mad a couple of years ago because one of E's teachers approached her after class and told her she should maybe not wear the dress she was wearing, because some of her male colleagues might find it a bit too tempting. There was nothing promiscuous about her dress, but she is well-endowed and the dress had ruching on the bodice and obviously you could tell she is female. But the dress wasn't low cut, it went almost to her knees, it had short sleeves...it was very flattering for her figure. For a teacher to tell a girl to dress differently because old men will look at her...yuck...first of all, she's being pretty unfair to her male colleagues if she thinks they are looking at teenage girls inappropriately. Second, if she SAW someone looking at E, then she needed to take it up with that teacher or the higher ups in the school....that's not E's fault, that's the man who's looking at a young girl. E never dared to wear that dress again, because she was afraid of attracting attention, even though it looked super cute on her. And it was a FEMALE teacher who told her she should dress differently. It made me really mad that she said that to E. It was inappropriate for her to comment on it.

I missed this yesterday, but wth? Blaming a girl for tempting grown men? Who is the adult and who is not? Adults should always be able to control themselves. Then you have the people who are attracted to girls 14 and up who bristle at being called pedophiles and call themselves ephebophiles. Like that makes it better.

 

[Sans Souci]

Happy Friday!

Someone turned off the nice, warmer weather overnight. It's rainy and 50F. Boo.

I did another quick workout with my kettlebell, jump rope and pull up bar.

I am hoping it dries later on. I'd like to sit outside in front of a fire. It's that kind of weather and it's probably one of the last chances to do it before the weather gets too warm for sitting around a fire.

 

[Sans Souci]

Hello-

Checking in with my workout. It was pretty much as the same type of workout I have been doing the past 2 weeks.

I really don't like to go out for Mother's Day. I'd rather just take it easy and not worry about getting ready to go out, etc. I told my husband I want food from PrimoHoagies for my Mother's Day meal.

If I am not online tomorrow, Happy Mother's Day to the moms of 2 legged and 4 legged kids.

 

[Songbird76]

I missed this yesterday, but wth? Blaming a girl for tempting grown men? Who is the adult and who is not? Adults should always be able to control themselves. Then you have the people who are attracted to girls 14 and up who bristle at being called pedophiles and call themselves ephebophiles. Like that makes it better.

Well I don't even know if she saw some of the male teachers looking or anything. She may have just decided that SHE thought E looked too...voluptuous? in that dress and taken it upon herself to talk to her. There's no dress code per sé, so it wasn't anything she could have been sent home for or anything, and her dress would have been allowed according to MY school's dresscode. Her shoulders were covered, her midriff was covered, it went past her fingertips...there was absolutely nothing inappropriate about it. Did she look attractive, yes. Was it flattering for her figure, totally. And that was apparently the problem. But what is she supposed to do? Wear a garbage bag over her torso so that no one can tell she's female? And if boys or men are looking at her, that's THEIR issue to deal with, not hers. She can't control where anyone else looks, or what they find attractive.

 

[Figgy1]

 

[Songbird76]

Happy mother's day to all! There are so many women in my life who have "mothered" me, mentored me, and/or just been there for me, and I'm sure everyone here has been that for someone, even if it's not their own children. You are all mothers in your way. This is your day! I hope you all get spoiled.

 

[StarWarsGirl]

Well I don't even know if she saw some of the male teachers looking or anything. She may have just decided that SHE thought E looked too...voluptuous? in that dress and taken it upon herself to talk to her. There's no dress code per sé, so it wasn't anything she could have been sent home for or anything, and her dress would have been allowed according to MY school's dresscode. Her shoulders were covered, her midriff was covered, it went past her fingertips...there was absolutely nothing inappropriate about it. Did she look attractive, yes. Was it flattering for her figure, totally. And that was apparently the problem. But what is she supposed to do? Wear a garbage bag over her torso so that no one can tell she's female? And if boys or men are looking at her, that's THEIR issue to deal with, not hers. She can't control where anyone else looks, or what they find attractive.

My cousin's daughter had a ridiculous dress code at her school (she does an online charter school now). She got dress coded so many times for outfits that were perfectly appropriate. I'm like, maybe these teachers should focus a bit more on teaching and less on what these kids are wearing? Like, god forbid any boys see a girl's SHOULDER. The horror.

 

[Sans Souci]

My cousin's daughter had a ridiculous dress code at her school (she does an online charter school now). She got dress coded so many times for outfits that were perfectly appropriate. I'm like, maybe these teachers should focus a bit more on teaching and less on what these kids are wearing? Like, god forbid any boys see a girl's SHOULDER. The horror.

My junior high was like this and this was a public school--no shorts, no tank tops. The school was air conditioned, but it felt like it was kept at 80. Teachers would bring in fans and open the windows anyway. I did wear baggy, board shorts once because I was so uncomfortable. They did call my mom to bring me jeans or pants. My mother thought it was so ridiculous to get in trouble for wearing shorts and I think they wanted more buy-in from her that I was this deviant juvenile offender that flouted the rules. It killed me, because office where the receptionist, principal, assistant principal, nurse, etc worked had the A/C on full tilt.

My son eventually attended this school, but they dropped the silly dress codes.

 

[Lilofan]

My junior high was like this and this was a public school--no shorts, no tank tops. The school was air conditioned, but it felt like it was kept at 80. Teachers would bring in fans and open the windows anyway. I did wear baggy, board shorts once because I was so uncomfortable. They did call my mom to bring me jeans or pants. My mother thought it was so ridiculous to get in trouble for wearing shorts and I think they wanted more buy-in from her that I was this deviant juvenile offender that flouted the rules. It killed me, because office where the receptionist, principal, assistant principal, nurse, etc worked had the A/C on full tilt.

My son eventually attended this school, but they dropped the silly dress codes.

I wish our schools had AC back in the day but we did not. The only AC was a window unit at the principal office. The heat at times broke down in the winter so we wore our coats in class. The school bus had no AC or heat. We toughed it out.

 

[StarWarsGirl]

My junior high was like this and this was a public school--no shorts, no tank tops. The school was air conditioned, but it felt like it was kept at 80. Teachers would bring in fans and open the windows anyway. I did wear baggy, board shorts once because I was so uncomfortable. They did call my mom to bring me jeans or pants. My mother thought it was so ridiculous to get in trouble for wearing shorts and I think they wanted more buy-in from her that I was this deviant juvenile offender that flouted the rules. It killed me, because office where the receptionist, principal, assistant principal, nurse, etc worked had the A/C on full tilt.

My son eventually attended this school, but they dropped the silly dress codes.

For my schools, shorts just had to be fingertip length. This was a non-issue for me because at five feet tall, finding shorts that are short enough has always been my issue. For taller girls, it was more of an issue. You also couldn't wear tank tops unless they were three male fingers wide.

They were more strict when I was in middle school, but when I was in high school, the school was partially unairconditioned and teachers were more willing to let stuff go.

 

[Sans Souci]

Hello-

I hope everyone had great Mother's Day. I really didn't do much, which is exactly what I wanted. It was cloudy and chilly, but I went out for a walk anyway.

Callie was here yesterday and my husband very kindly woke me up to tell me she was waiting to be fed. After she ate, she came over for some pets. She was purring, kneading and closing her eyes as I was petting her and for the first time, she climbed up into my lap. She started kneading my thigh and I wasn't expecting it. It hurt and I tried to keep quiet about it, but she sensed something was wrong, so she jumped off and ran away. It's been 2 years this month since she showed up at my door and she has gone from being scared of me just putting her dish outside to eating indoors, taking naps indoors and approaching me for attention. My husband and I both noticed her tail seems to have a bit more movement to it that it previously had, so maybe having proper nutrition and positive attention is helping her in small ways.