working out for Disney

[StarWarsGirl]

@Sans Souci One of those disgusting lantern flies landed on me aas I was on a roller coaster. So I killed it. With my hand.

 

[Songbird76]

My mom had poor boundaries, too. She was always spying on my phone calls. I would hear her pick up the phone and she would deny it, while acting offended that I thought she was capable of doing such a thing. I might have told this story here before, so forgive me if I have, but my mom came to visit me when I moved to England. I don't know what her problem was, but I could tell she was in a mood when she got off the plane. She did nothing but tried to create discord between my husband and me (we weren't married yet). She would call my grandmother and tell her my husband and I were fighting (we weren't). She got angry because my husband had an office Christmas party and I had the flu. He went without me and offered to stay behind, but it doesn't look good not to show up at these things. Plus, even if I wasn't sick, I would have stayed behind. I'm really not a social person. She bad mouthed him to me all night long. When that didn't work, she told my husband what a rotten person I was, that I was lazy and selfish.

After two weeks of this (at which point I was just an anxious mess), she brings down her luggage and dented the wall, left gouges in the wooden handrails and tells me I am coming home with her. I was 25! I told her I wasn't. The airport was 90 minutes away and it was the longest, most awkward car trip ever. My husband got her bags out of the trunk and I tried to hug her. She pushed me away. That made my husband angry and he told me to get into the car and pulled away leaving her curbside.

About a day after she went home, I started getting phone calls from my grandmother, my brother and other concerned family members asking me if my husband was beating me and did I need help getting home! I was shocked and angry, because it simply wasn't true.

It wasn't until years later, my grandmother told me she went to pick my mom up from that flight and as soon as she got in the car, my mom started hitting her.

I finally stopped talking to her this year and I wish I'd done it sooner. I gave her so many chances, because she was my mom, but it took so much out of me emotionally. Each outburst, words of abuse, smear campaigns against my husband and me, etc. got progressively more difficult to heal from. I just couldn't do it anymore. I am sorry she has emotional issues, but it doesn't give her carte blanche to abuse people.

I'm so sorry that happened to you! I don't remember you ever telling that particular story, though you've mentioned that she is abusive and narcissistic. My mom definitely had her good qualities, and I do have some great memories of her. But so much is just tainted and now that I'm older, I see some older memories through a different filter now. I'm not sure what kind of a relationship I'd have with my mother if she were alive. She passed when I was only 25 and we never got to repair or even talk about some of the most damaging things. My mom wasn't one to take ownership in her own contribution to a relationship. Everything was always someone else's fault, it was never hers. So I'm not sure we could have repaired it if we had had more time anyway. I'm so sorry you had to take that step to stop talking to her, but it really does sound like you are better off for doing it.

 

[ajrwdwgirl]

My mom had poor boundaries, too. She was always spying on my phone calls. I would hear her pick up the phone and she would deny it, while acting offended that I thought she was capable of doing such a thing. I might have told this story here before, so forgive me if I have, but my mom came to visit me when I moved to England. I don't know what her problem was, but I could tell she was in a mood when she got off the plane. She did nothing but tried to create discord between my husband and me (we weren't married yet). She would call my grandmother and tell her my husband and I were fighting (we weren't). She got angry because my husband had an office Christmas party and I had the flu. He went without me and offered to stay behind, but it doesn't look good not to show up at these things. Plus, even if I wasn't sick, I would have stayed behind. I'm really not a social person. She bad mouthed him to me all night long. When that didn't work, she told my husband what a rotten person I was, that I was lazy and selfish.

After two weeks of this (at which point I was just an anxious mess), she brings down her luggage and dented the wall, left gouges in the wooden handrails and tells me I am coming home with her. I was 25! I told her I wasn't. The airport was 90 minutes away and it was the longest, most awkward car trip ever. My husband got her bags out of the trunk and I tried to hug her. She pushed me away. That made my husband angry and he told me to get into the car and pulled away leaving her curbside.

About a day after she went home, I started getting phone calls from my grandmother, my brother and other concerned family members asking me if my husband was beating me and did I need help getting home! I was shocked and angry, because it simply wasn't true.

It wasn't until years later, my grandmother told me she went to pick my mom up from that flight and as soon as she got in the car, my mom started hitting her.

I finally stopped talking to her this year and I wish I'd done it sooner. I gave her so many chances, because she was my mom, but it took so much out of me emotionally. Each outburst, words of abuse, smear campaigns against my husband and me, etc. got progressively more difficult to heal from. I just couldn't do it anymore. I am sorry she has emotional issues, but it doesn't give her carte blanche to abuse people.

Wow that sounds terrible. I admire you for the effort you put in and your bravery to pull away and do what was healthy for you.

 

[Songbird76]

Wow that sounds terrible. I admire you for the effort you put in and your bravery to pull away and do what was healthy for you.

^^^This. And please don't let anyone make you feel guilty for doing what you needed to do. When I was in high school, I'd break out in a rash whenever I was around my father. I had so much anxiety around him and even talking to him on the phone would elicit a physical reaction in my body. I had friends who would tell me he was my father and I should be forgiving and I should do this or that, and I did eventually, but for a while I had to limit the time I spent with him for my own health. My friends didn't understand the toll it took on me. Everyone's experience is different, and we don't always share everything we are experiencing, so they can't always completely empathize. You do what you need to do and if you someday get to a point where you can work it out, great. But if not, don't feel like you owe it to her because she's your mother. Other people didn't go through what you did. They aren't traumatized by her, so they don't get a vote.

 

[Sans Souci]

@Sans Souci One of those disgusting lantern flies landed on me aas I was on a roller coaster. So I killed it. With my hand.

Ick. Whenever I open my front door, there is always one out there, daring me to kill it. I can't get over how many I have seen this summer vs. the single one I saw last year. These things multiply quickly, it's kind of frightening.

 

[Sans Souci]

^^^This. And please don't let anyone make you feel guilty for doing what you needed to do. When I was in high school, I'd break out in a rash whenever I was around my father. I had so much anxiety around him and even talking to him on the phone would elicit a physical reaction in my body. I had friends who would tell me he was my father and I should be forgiving and I should do this or that, and I did eventually, but for a while I had to limit the time I spent with him for my own health. My friends didn't understand the toll it took on me. Everyone's experience is different, and we don't always share everything we are experiencing, so they can't always completely empathize. You do what you need to do and if you someday get to a point where you can work it out, great. But if not, don't feel like you owe it to her because she's your mother. Other people didn't go through what you did. They aren't traumatized by her, so they don't get a vote.

I know some people don't understand or they think you should tolerate it because it's a parent. There was one time my MIL came to visit and my mother gave her the silent treatment--for no reason. They never had any sort of falling out. I apologized to my MIL like a madwoman. I grew up walking on eggshells and trying to read and anticipate her moods. It went on into adulthood. I'm exhausted.

She threatened to call DCFS on me. I told her to go for it. I had absolutely nothing to hide. She told my grandmother that my husband was punching our son in the crotch. My grandmother, the one my mother hit, called me up crying asking it was true.

It took me moving here, because she lived a few blocks away in IL and came over unannounced all the time, to see none of this was normal. I mean, I always knew it wasn't, but I tried be understanding because she had bipolar disorder and a personality disorder. I realized moving far away from her that I didn't have to indulge or enable her behavior at the expense of my mental health.

So, I didn't see her at all last weekend, even though she wanted to meet up with my husband.

 

[StarWarsGirl]

Neither of them are interested in designer clothing or specific brands like Levis, or Tommy Hilfiger, or Vingino, etc

Are Levi's more expensive over there? I buy them off of Amazon because they're what fits me, and they're usually $20-30 a pair.

 

[Songbird76]

I know some people don't understand or they think you should tolerate it because it's a parent. There was one time my MIL came to visit and my mother gave her the silent treatment--for no reason. They never had any sort of falling out. I apologized to my MIL like a madwoman. I grew up walking on eggshells and trying to read and anticipate her moods. It went on into adulthood. I'm exhausted.

She threatened to call DCFS on me. I told her to go for it. I had absolutely nothing to hide. She told my grandmother that my husband was punching our son in the crotch. My grandmother, the one my mother hit, called me up crying asking it was true.

It took me moving here, because she lived a few blocks away in IL and came over unannounced all the time, to see none of this was normal. I mean, I always knew it wasn't, but I tried be understanding because she had bipolar disorder and a personality disorder. I realized moving far away from her that I didn't have to indulge or enable her behavior at the expense of my mental health.

So, I didn't see her at all last weekend, even though she wanted to meet up with my husband.

Kind of telling that she wanted to meet up with your husband rather than you. She probably knew you wouldn't agree and she was maybe hoping she could get him to work on you to change your mind. Very manipulative. Perhaps it's a good thing that your son wasn't with you.

My mom wrote letters to my friends asking them to "fix me" and make me obedient again, when I was in my 20s!

 

[Sans Souci]

Hello--

Today was a rest day, but my husband and me found this really nice walking trail. We got kind of last, but we made it back in the end!

I went to apply for the FA position this AM and it was closed, so I guess the decision was made for me. It was only open for 9 days. TBH, I'm not upset. I'm not wanting to jump through hoops right now. United is hiring and I went to apply, but it then it told me to allot 20 minutes for a personal assessment. Nah. I'm good. I'm not letting these places waste any more of my time. I think this pandemic has forced me to think about the things I will accept in my life. I'm not jumping though anymore hoops unless it's a matter of life and death. I'm not trying to sound like sour grapes, but it's not medical school, you know? You only need a GED as a minimum to apply.

 

[Songbird76]

Are Levi's more expensive over there? I buy them off of Amazon because they're what fits me, and they're usually $20-30 a pair.

Honestly I have no idea. I have never been into a Levi's store and even though we sell them where I work, I have never looked at the price. We sell brands that cost 60 euros for BABY sizes...no baby needs $80 designer jeans. I just know that E says Levis are the big brand all her classmates where.

 

[StarWarsGirl]

Ick. Whenever I open my front door, there is always one out there, daring me to kill it. I can't get over how many I have seen this summer vs. the single one I saw last year. These things multiply quickly, it's kind of frightening.

They were so obnoxious yesterday. After I posted that, another one flew onto me on a different roller coaster. I didn't get that one. My mom was with us and killed one that landed on my brother's back with her bare hand. Woman must be made of iron. We tried killing some and they jumped away. We were successful in killing others. Near the launch towers, I guess they're spraying for them, because there's hundreds of them dead around the towers. Not to mention on the paths where people have killed them.

We did a thorough check on the car before we left. Normally when I leave directly from the park, I do a quick walk around, and I never see them in the lot, I guess because there's no vegetation nearby, but we went to a Panera nearby and I saw more dead ones in the parking lot, and we thoroughly checked. We were not going to be responsible for bringing them here.

 

[StarWarsGirl]

Honestly I have no idea. I have never been into a Levi's store and even though we sell them where I work, I have never looked at the price. We sell brands that cost 60 euros for BABY sizes...no baby needs $80 designer jeans. I just know that E says Levis are the big brand all her classmates where.

I just Googled it. Apparently the exact same pair of jeans we buy here for less than $50 is over $100 in Europe. That's insane.

 

[Songbird76]

I just Googled it. Apparently the exact same pair of jeans we buy here for less than $50 is over $100 in Europe. That's insane.

It doesn't surprise me. We do a lot of shopping when we go somewhere else because everything is cheaper NOT in the Netherlands. When we're not restricted, we get gas in Germany because it saves beaucoup bucks. I work just a couple hundred yards from the German border, so my husband drops me off, goes into Germany to tank up, and then goes back home. Gas prices are somewhere between $7-10 per gallon in the Netherlands....probably closer to $6-8 in Germany.. We bought our first digital camera in the US way back before we even had kids because the camera we got for $250 was more than 400 Euros back home. The cost of living here is a lot higher than in the US.

 

[Figgy1]

I'm sure that's a lot of it. She's old enough to want all kinds of things, but not at the point where she's got perspective on costs and reality. I also don't think she understands how some parents put on a show when they have guests. She thinks it would be so much better to live with this person's family or that person's, but she is seeing them in guest mode and not really understanding. She forgets that she has friends who would prefer to be at our house. She's also under punishment...which doesn't help either, but she broke the "no food in your bedroom" rule in grand fashion and then tried to spin a web of lies to get out of it. At the end of the day, she got a nice gift and hopefully she'll come to appreciate it.

Hang in there it gets better. James is into video games, always has been. Anyhoo up until this year he'd always ask for the latest system, assorted gamed, accessories the works. This year for his birthday he asked for Legos and a stuffed Pokemon and has a realistic Christmas list and a budget for gift giving.

 

[Figgy1]

I don't understand not wanting homemade cake. Although some years, I do get a store bought cake for my birthday.

Like others have said here, it just teen years. It's part of separating from your parents, too. It's also that time where you think you are sooooo much smarter than your parents.

I can top the bed thing. I was cheeky enough to ask for a Vespa for my 16th. I knew the likelihood of that happening was like .00000000001%, but I thought it cost nothing to ask. I think I got a bottle of "Electric Youth", instead.

I got one before then but only because it was used for commuting to and from work. It was also 2nd hand

 

[Figgy1]

I can't stand crisco in buttercream. It's why I don't buy cupcakes at WDW. I know buttercream wouldn't work for most of the year there, but I hate the way it feels in my mouth.

Every time I try to make Swiss or Italian meringue buttercream, I can never get the egg whites to whip into a meringue. I make sure there are no traces of fat on my bowl or whips and I wipe everything down in white vinegar, so I end up making an ermine frosting.

Have you been to Erin Mckenna's?

 

[Figgy1]

Today my life hopefully settles back down a bit. My dh is doing better, still on the restrictive diet but adding foods in and had his colonoscopy Friday. Mom fell and broke her elbow about a week ago and had a plate put in Thursday thankfully she's now on the mend. Oh yeah we we had a little something called Henri show up which meant cooking and freezing food because while living in the woods is blissful most of the time we're at the end of the line for repairs. Knocking all sorts of wood the power is still on and the worst seems to have passed. I'm getting my steps in most days and hitting the mat when i can. Today I'm resting because I haven't gotten proper sleep all week. There's some flooding but i don't care I'm at the top of the hill and going nowhere.

 

[Figgy1]

@Songbird76 is E fully mobile yet?

 

[Sans Souci]

They were so obnoxious yesterday. After I posted that, another one flew onto me on a different roller coaster. I didn't get that one. My mom was with us and killed one that landed on my brother's back with her bare hand. Woman must be made of iron. We tried killing some and they jumped away. We were successful in killing others. Near the launch towers, I guess they're spraying for them, because there's hundreds of them dead around the towers. Not to mention on the paths where people have killed them.

We did a thorough check on the car before we left. Normally when I leave directly from the park, I do a quick walk around, and I never see them in the lot, I guess because there's no vegetation nearby, but we went to a Panera nearby and I saw more dead ones in the parking lot, and we thoroughly checked. We were not going to be responsible for bringing them here.

They are sneaky little jerks! They got here on a shipment of pavers from China that was delivered to a landscaping company in SE PA. This was in 2014. They have proliferated so quickly. It's good you're checking your car before leaving, but how many others are doing the same? This is how they migrate.

They do move fast, too. I have gone to stomp on one, they hop-flutter away.

 

[Sans Souci]

Have you been to Erin Mckenna's?

I went in there once, because my friend wanted a coffee. It was towards the end of the night, so it was picked over. I think I'll get some goodies the next time I am there. I refuse to wait in line hours in line or whatever it is for Gideon's. I can make cookies at home, cheaper--which is probably the most mom statement ever.