working out for Disney

[HouCuseChickie]

Thanks, yeah, she was not a nice person. Luckily after we told my mom and dad about the gift experience we didn't see them much. I think she really missed out, we were the grandchildren that lived the closest to her and in theory could have had a great relationship. I think that is why it is important to me to have a good relationship with my niece because my childhood experiences with extended family was so bad I want her to have healthy family relationships.

It is interesting how we often use the bad relationships in our lives to form better bonds with other people.

 

[HouCuseChickie]

OK, the first paragraph sounds like that TV show, "The Riches" with all of scamming and criminality.

Why did your MIL have to bring Typhoid Mary with her to see K for her first birthday? That is really inconsiderate of her. I have this imagine of a bunch of kids running around with green snot running out of theirs noses.

Did this change in her begin with her new husband? It sounds like he expected her to prioritize his family over her. My parents divorced when I was 10 and after my father remarried (he never bothered to tell me) he started making noises about the amount of child support he was paying. Then, it was he wanted to get off of the hook out of paying for college, even though the divorce settlement stipulated my mother was going give up receiving his pension in exchange for paying my tuition. My step mother was behind all of it.

I've never seen the show, but it sounds like possible parallels. I know the step kids were all getting government funds and had some overlap between MIL's healthcare and government healthcare for at least a little while. So, it often felt even more scammy than what I've already shared.

I remember having a discussion with DH's grandmother over some of it. She didn't understand why MIL didn't understand that resistant staph was a serious issue. MIL used to be very vaccine supportive and in conversation, sounded like she understood that contagious people shouldn't be around others, especially those with weak immune systems. We opted to see it as ignorance, but over the years and seeing all of the favoritism, I can't help but wonder if it was more than lack of knowledge.

Everything changed with him. She used to be a very strong and independent woman, insisting that her kids be the same. That's a good thing, but the new husband was of a different mindset and it altered everything. I don't know if it's just him having different philosophies, him also being a con artist/moocher, or a bit of both. Looking at your story with your stepmother and some of the other situations on here, it's making me think he is behind much of this and he found ways to break down her defenses.

 

[HouCuseChickie]

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

 

[StarWarsGirl]

That's awful! Seriously...the "what's your name again?" is a heartbreaker. I don't love the ideas of favorites, in general, but at least your grandfather was able to use her passing to rekindle a relationship with your dad.

Yeah, he also has a relationship with my mom now. They were estranged for many years. Which is good because he's 89 and has some health problems. My uncle lives with him and does the majority of his care, but he shouldn't have to do all of it, so my mom and her sister can jump in so my uncle can go on vacation and doesn't have to always take time off work to run him to doctor's appointments and such.

He and I have somewhat of a relationship, but not much. Not like I had with my step grandfather. I'm also close to my longtime best friend's family. I was super close to her grandmother and still am close to her grandfather (though my brother is probably closer to her grandfather while I was closer to her grandmother). Her grandmother was a gem, like absolutely one of the best people I ever have known. When she died, it was still during Covid, so they did her funeral on zoom. No lie, over 500 people were on zoom for this lady's funeral. I've never experienced grief like when she died; I was literally sick with grief.