I'm going to say something nice (or somewhat nice) (well, nice for me) here. If the things that you tell us are going on in your household are even half true (and I don't have any reason to think that they aren't completely true), then what you are doing is not nagging, it is an effort to maintain mental health and some semblance of control of your own life. I don't understand your patience at all, but, you are one of the nice ones so just do what you feel is right and do not take any carp from anyone. That's what I tell my Daughters and I am a strong advocate of non-doormat status for all women.
Personally, I would have been running around the house, frothing at the mouth, wielding an axe by now.
