Where in the World Isn't Bob Saget?

JenniferS

JenniferS

When you're the leader, you don't have to follow.
Goofyernmost said:
Just remember that life is full of no's! There are many reasons why you might receive a no, none of them directed at your level of attraction or any other reason other then the fact that not everyone is attracted to whomever comes along. Most of the time we don't know that until we have had time to know them better.

Actually, the one that should feel more awkwardness is the one that says no without really knowing you. We are all strangers to others until we aren't. I can't convey confidence over a chat room, but, from what I know of you there really is no reason for you to lack confidence. Perhaps in a biker bar, but, not in a church environment. In that case it would be me that would be the one feeling out of place. Some random Hockey Player once said.... 100% of the shots not taken will not go into the net. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Go for it... life is short.🙂
I suppose I could look up the name of that Hockey Player, but, it is the point that was important and not speaker.
I'm sure @JenniferS will look it up since she is embedded in the land of Hockey.🏒
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It was Gretzky - the guy whose daddy-o still lives a few blocks away from me. 😉
 
MinnieM123

MinnieM123

Premium Member
Today I went to a local Memorial Day tribute in a city park. About 500 people were present, and there were guest speakers from various military organizations, some clergy, a few local politicians, and a high school band. The weather was really nice -- not hot, and it was sunny. Nice way to spend an hour this morning. :)
 
Goofyernmost

Goofyernmost

Well-Known Member
Nemo14 said:
We didn't get to the cemeteries today - we'll probably get there tomorrow though and bring some flowers.
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I went to my ex-wife's grave for a few minutes. I felt I had too. My children, I'm ashamed to say, are still mad at her and neither will go to the gravesite. I accepted long ago that my wife's last 20 years were totally under the control of her mental illness. They are still angry because she was not available to help them with questions about their newborns and almost never made the effort to attend the events like birthdays or even remember to send a card. Someday I hope they will be able to accept that she could not control her actions in those years and was in a sad, sad state of mind. When she passed no one was willing to immediately make the commitment to find a final resting place for her. Her urn spent close to two years on top of my youngest daughters knick knack cabinet in their living room. So I volunteered half of my plot in the Military section of the Raleigh's Historic Oakwood Cemetery. I did get them to pitch in with me to pay for a granite ground memorial which was all that was allowed in that section of the Cemetery.

Sorry, this was a downer. I hope you all can tolerate my venting.
 
ajrwdwgirl

ajrwdwgirl

Premium Member
Goofyernmost said:
I went to my ex-wife's grave for a few minutes. I felt I had too. My children, I'm ashamed to say, are still mad at her and neither will go to the gravesite. I accepted long ago that my wife's last 20 years were totally under the control of her mental illness. They are still angry because she was not available to help them with questions about their newborns and almost never made the effort to attend the events like birthdays or even remember to send a card. Someday I hope they will be able to accept that she could not control her actions in those years and was in a sad, sad state of mind. When she passed no one was willing to immediately make the commitment to find a final resting place for her. Her urn spent close to two years on top of my youngest daughters knick knack cabinet in their living room. So I volunteered half of my plot in the Military section of the Raleigh's Historic Oakwood Cemetery. I did get them to pitch in with me to pay for a granite ground memorial which was all that was allowed in that section of the Cemetery.

Sorry, this was a downer. I hope you all can tolerate my venting.
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I think it very kind to show respect to your ex-wife. Your understanding shows wisdom and that you are a person of quality and values.
 
Nemo14

Nemo14

Well-Known Member
Just got back from the cemetery rounds. I know this sounds awful, but the older I get the grouchier I get about all this. The fact of the matter is that the cemetery is nothing more than a landfill when you think about it. Those loved ones aren't there - they're living in my heart and in the memories I have. Fancy headstones and flowers are meaningless to them, and I don't feel any strong bonds visiting the place where we buried their earthly remains. Indeed I feel closer to them just visiting places we enjoyed, or doing things we laughed about together. Just my humble and often misguided opinion...
 
MinnieM123

MinnieM123

Premium Member
Nemo14 said:
Just got back from the cemetery rounds. I know this sounds awful, but the older I get the grouchier I get about all this. The fact of the matter is that the cemetery is nothing more than a landfill when you think about it. Those loved ones aren't there - they're living in my heart and in the memories I have. Fancy headstones and flowers are meaningless to them, and I don't feel any strong bonds visiting the place where we buried their earthly remains. Indeed I feel closer to them just visiting places we enjoyed, or doing things we laughed about together. Just my humble and often misguided opinion...
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Having just read yours and Goofyernmost's opinions on visiting grave sites, it all comes down to what feels right to you. His experiences and yours were different; hence, different feelings about expressions of loss. I think you're both right, actually.

As for moi, I'd be content to either be buried in a Glad Bag (relieved that it's finally over ;)), or creamated. Neither one of us wants a headstone or anything like that. We both feel strongly about putting that money to better use, such as donating it to help the living -- such as cancer research, church, animal protection agencies, etc.
 
Nemo14

Nemo14

Well-Known Member
MinnieM123 said:
Having just read yours and Goofyernmost's opinions on visiting grave sites, it all comes down to what feels right to you. His experiences and yours were different; hence, different feelings about expressions of loss. I think you're both right, actually.

As for moi, I'd be content to either be buried in a Glad Bag (relieved that it's finally over ;)), or creamated. Neither one of us wants a headstone or anything like that. We both feel strongly about putting that money to better use, such as donating it to help the living -- such as cancer research, church, animal protection agencies, etc.
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There's a very pretty little cemetery I know of that lets you have your ashes scattered. It's very pretty, by a river, and bald eagles have been spotted there often. That's good enough for me. DH wants a big black plastic bag by the curb on Trash Day.
 
MinnieM123

MinnieM123

Premium Member
Nemo14 said:
There's a very pretty little cemetery I know of that lets you have your ashes scattered. It's very pretty, by a river, and bald eagles have been spotted there often. That's good enough for me. DH wants a big black plastic bag by the curb on Trash Day.
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Yes, your DH has the right idea!! :joyfull:

My only stipulation to hubs was that I'd refuse to be buried in a Hefty bag, as that might be misconstrued that I had a weight problem. :p
 
Goofyernmost

Goofyernmost

Well-Known Member
Nemo14 said:
There's a very pretty little cemetery I know of that lets you have your ashes scattered. It's very pretty, by a river, and bald eagles have been spotted there often. That's good enough for me. DH wants a big black plastic bag by the curb on Trash Day.
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Back about 3 years ago, after she passed away I started to set up my final wishes. I saw what a strain it was on them to try and figure out what their Mom would have wanted to happen. There was an additional problem as well. She died broke. Any plot purchase or containment location was going to be paid by the girls. I could have contributed some money, but, not a lot. That made me decide to have it taken care of before I went on the Long Black Train. I created living wills, updated my original will, went searching for a piece of land in NC that I could buy to plant myself in when the time came.

I settled on a huge, very old municipal cemetery in Raleigh. It was established during the civil war. Since it is old, it has many large trees, very nicely landscaped with lots of flowers and is really pleasant to look at. Anyway, since she and I never remarried I asked if it was alright if her ashes were placed on one end of the site and mine, hopefully a while from now, on the other. They agreed, so she is interned there. I wanted a permanent stone for her (I get one from the military) and asked the girls to pitch in for the cost. I told them that yes, I know... she walked out of me, was unable to think of anyone but herself for a number of years and, quite frankly, had minimal contact with her daughters, and none with me. That was when I made my verbal command, if you will. I told them that she was my wife for 29 years, she was their Mother, she cared for them and raised them well (something they seem to forget) and sternly said... I DON'T WANT HER TO BE FORGOTTEN AND NOT EVEN HAVE A MARKED GRAVE. Then I calmly requested that they make sure they carry that out for me after I am gone. They seemed to agree, but, after I'm gone I'm not sure how I am going to enforce that. I keep hoping to lead by example and that sooner, rather then later, a little bulb lights up and they realize that it was an illness and not to be taken personally. That period of time was apparently very hard emotionally for them. The burden of her care was on them completely, so I think a little immature bitterness crammed in there too.

Again, sorry for the vent and release of TMI.
 
MinnieM123

MinnieM123

Premium Member

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