When spouses diagree about DW

[Captainvideo]

Our family has enjoyed 3 great trips to DW for 3-4 days each(00 Contemporary, 01 WL, 04 WL) and have enjoyed this forum in helping me plan and helping me look forward to the next trip. My kids(8,7,5) have all had a blast, have been spoiled by staying at the WL our second trip and have fallen in love with the "feeling" we get when we're there. My problem is with my wife when I brought up the idea of going again this winter. She said: " People don't go to DW every year you know." Obviously she has never been on this forum nor does she see/feel the excitement these discussions generate. Our kids are still at a cute age(it's not just about me) but I need advice on my approach or else we'll be snowtubing in NH some cold weekend this winter(her idea).

 

[netenyahoo]

Is it a money issue or does she not like going?

 

[rosebud's mom]

There have been other threads where the topic of one partner loves Disney more than the other. There are no easy answers. People can give you flip and comical ideas to some who might teasingly suggest a new wife.

The bottom line is... how important is the Disney trip to you, and how important is the winter trip to her ? In my personal experience I have been married to my second husband for 10 years now. He is not a vacation person at all. Even getting him to take a day trip is a major accomplishment. I have a daughter who will soon be 17, and our little one is 4. I decided that I was taking the girls and going to Disney, no matter what. Once I started the plans and made the reservations, he decided he could spare a week's vacation and is coming with us. You simply have to find what works for the both of you.

Good luck. I'm sure you'll enjoy yourselves either way.

 

[tommyboy12099]

I would go every year if it were up to me. I actually wanted to buy into the DVC but I had a better chance of being struck by lightning when I brought that up. She wants to go to Cedar Point next summer and thats fine as long as we get to Disney at some point next year.

 

[The Mom]

My husband can tolerate WDW about once a year, so I have always made trips with just the children, or solo trips. We'll be together for F&W in Nov. (one of the few times HE initiates the trip) and I'll be with only my son for the meet. My husband has a rowing thing that weekend, so it works out fine.

 

[popkid]

take comfort in the fact that at least you are not alone. There are several of us with non-disney spouses. Just like everything else, its a balancing act - and compromises do need to be made.

I've heard somthing very similar to the 'people dont go to WDW every year' comment myself, and as terrifying as that is, it's how she feels, so balance I shall. I guess it's just a matter of what is more important. Visiting WDW every year is definately high on my list, but not at all comparable to my girl's happyness.

I'm saying all this, but a year without WDW has yet to happen

 

[CAPTAIN HOOK]

Your wife's right - people don't go every year - Some Get To Go More Often !!!
We only get to go every other year as the flights cost so much, but given the chance we'd be there each and every year.

 

[DisneyNme]

Whoa whoa whoa......Nothing wrong with Snowtubing in NH! haha But a Trip to Disney in the winter is definately better ..... of course until you come back to snow on the ground and 30 (or lower) degree weather! :lol: If i had the money i would go back to Disney every year, weather it means im going by myself or with the fam! Good luck with that!!! :wave:

 

[MKCustodial]

Yeah, that's a Disneyholic greatest fear. My original plan was to convert my bride-to-be on our honeymoon. But alas, it won't happen. So I gotta start planning a trip for our first year. She knows that sooner or later I'm gonna drag her up there, and she's fine with it. But she knows I wanna convert her, so she's a little scared. :lol:

 

[tigsmom]

First off, Welcome ! Yes, people do go every year, some go more often.
Living in NY we love to go during the winter...usually extended weekends and we love the WL also. (I've lost track of how many times we've stayed there...8 maybe?)

If she really doesn't want to go with you, there is nothing you can do to make her want to. I say take the kids and head on out yourself!

Of course, you could always trade her in for a more WDW friendly model. :animwink:

 

[DisneyPhD]

Being from a northern state part of the magic is getting a small escape from winter. For me it is more then magic, it is sanity. Hubby and I had a talk a few years ago and we made a deal, as long as we could aford it we would take a winter vacation every year to some place warm. Then we bought DVC so that clinched it!

The other part of the magic that brings us back every year (or more often on the years be get annual passes) is our shared memories. WDW is our magical place. I don't think I would want to go with out him, I would miss him too much. Now it is even more fun to wacth DD love WDW, and see it from her eyes.

Some people only go once in a life time, or every few years. So people go every year, tradtions are made that way too.

I think Disney is counting on annual trip people like us. Last year we went in January. I just stopped writting this to go get my mail. When I got it there was a flyer from Disney, adressed to my family (The D family) Inside it said we know you like staying with us around January, so start planning now! How funny (and a little scary) is that? Since we are DVC we don't make resivations from CRO, but it has a number for it.

In the winter, I swear WDW is calling to me. This year it will be end of Febuary early March!

However as a therapist I do say you do have to give and take in relationships. It might be her year to get what she wants!

 

[waltdisny]

Being from a northern state part of the magic is getting a small escape from winter. For me it is more then magic, it is sanity. In the winter, I swear WDW is calling to me. This year it will be end of Febuary early March!

However as a therapist I do say you do have to give and take in relationships. It might be her year to get what she wants!

I agree, that winter break is a godsend for those of us in the rust-belt.

I'm not a therapist but I did stay at a Holiday-Inn Express last night. This just might be a good chance to give a little. I had a similar discussion with my better half a couple of years ago (she is a major Disney fan, but..).

I heard "the people don't go every year" tape too. So here's what happened when I gave in and we took an early spring trip to Myrtle Beach (she wanted to go skiing, I said it had to be WARM):

It was a DISASTER! The traffic sucked, the weather was colder than at home, it rained most of the time, the hotel pool closed due to a broken pump, and we couldn't find many family friendly things to do (we have 4 kids). It's a bit awkward driving down the main road and your 7 year old yells out, "Daddy what's an adult toy?" because she's been reading the signs in the shops.

Finally, after 4 days and yet another unsuccessful attempt at finding a decent dinner, my wife wanted to go home. I said "if one more thing goes wrong, we'll leave." Sure enough on the way up to the room, the elevator in the hotel did it's best impression of the Tower of Terror!! That's right, the sucker dropped twice, far enough to knock down 2 of my kids and lift me off my feet! No one was hurt, but everyone was badly shaken.

So, after reading the hotel management the riot act, and receiving an insulting apology (a bottle of wine and cheese plate); we picked up the shards of our vacation (and dignity) and did what any self-respecting American would do: We drove 10 hours to Disney World. :sohappy:

We only had 2 days there, but they were GLORIOUS.

Since then I haven't gotten any push-back when it comes to WDW vacations.

 

[wsapooh]

As I think about it, I don't think I've ever given my husband the option!
I plan the trip and say, "We're going!" I've never heard any complaints though. And I know that if he didn't want to go, he'd say so.

I get that urge to get out of the north about mid-January. And if we don't go, I start to get really crabby about mid-February. It gets ugly until spring hits. :lol:

 

[disneytati]

Well, I used to worry about such things, but now I just don't anymore... My husband doesn't even want to go to WDW, he says that he won't waste his money. :fork: I am learning how to deal with my passion for Disney by keeping it to myself (and to my friends from this forum). I used to feel like an outcast (I heard people saying that I was a dreamer, that I should accept my reality, that I am brazilian and trips to WDW every year is dreaming too much, that I should be thankful for being able to be there once, and many people think I am childish and shallow). I kept trying to convert people, or at least show them that WDW is a wonderful place... But I have learned that, unfortunately, not everyone likes Disney, and trying to make them enjoy it would lead me to disappointment. Now I just plan my own trips, I don't need any kind of company to have fun at WDW! If I can have someone who enjoys it, nice, but if I can't, I will just go by myself and have lots of fun!!! And I am taking my daughter there, no matter what happens, and how long it takes to save all the money I need.

So, my advice is: why don't you just go with your kids? Or maybe, why don't you split the vacations in two, like you go to WDW and somewhere else she chooses? I guess it would be fair to both of you, you would keep the family together and each one would adapt to the other's wishes. I am sure things will turn out fine!

 

[Raven66]

Luckily, I haven't run into this problem. We all love to go and we go once a year. But, I do want to take a Disney Cruise and he isn't interested in that at all. I did tell him I would take our daughter and go without him and I don't know why, but he was less then thrilled :lol: . I think he just might change his mind.

 

[WDWFanatic]

My fiancee felt the same way untill i got her there in october, she didnt understand why my family went so much. If my father has a rough month at the office him and my mom will just up and fly down there for a few days. She was last there like 10 years ago and had never even been to epcot. Just the other night was the best when she out of the blew asked if we could watch the disney promotion video they send us every year. I was like shes hooked!!

 

[Mom's the word]

Hard decisions. How about splitting vacation time - a warm week at WDW in the winter and a nice week somewhere else that she picks? You can do them back to back or split them up through the year so you are getting more breaks from routine. I'm a warm weather person so I don't get why doing anything in the snow could be considered a vacation. Still, to keep wifey happy - it's always worth it - try suggesting some compromise. And, when you're down there, give her some beach or spa time on her own while you take the kiddies and do your thing for a day! Good luck, hope you get to go this year!

 

[mattfz]

Since there is SOMETHING for everyone at DW, concentrate on those things your spouse likes and hype them up before the trip. Prior to 4 years ago, I wasnt even familiar with the Disney characters that much and hadnt seen too many of the movies, even as a child. The food and resorts totally won me over after some research.

I can't imagine someone who couldnt find SOMETHING to love about DW. Even the fact of going on vacation would be enough for most people. Is your spouse extemely boring or something? Depressed? Maybe medication is the answer....hehehehe

 

[mattfz]

And another thing too...convince her that you can afford it...and pay for everything! That worked in convincing my wife that we could go again in January 2005 (we just went last month)

 

[Nicole]

While *I* am in the "is there anywhere to go on vacation but Disney?" stage, my question for you, Captianvideo, is do you take any other vacations?? If your wife isn't as caught up in the magic as you are, I can see that she might like to have some variety. Just like you want her to support your enjoyment of Disney, I am sure she would like it if you would support her desire to do something else. It doesn't sound like she never wants to go to WDW again, just that this time she'd like to do something that appeals to her more. Compromise is a good thing for a happy marriage.