... Everyone here agrees this attraction was amazing from a design perspective aside from you. ...
There are certain individuals whom the Ignore button was designed for. Blocking folks who consistently engage in bad faith discussion (or try to push some kind of outside agenda) did wonders for me a while ago. If someone is
really trying to claim that certain attractions (ex. Splash, Mansion, Pirates, etc.)
aren't objectively good from a design standpoint, then you might actually be having a discussion with a brick wall. You can't instill logic in it, just understand the futility and walk away. Your mind will thank you.
... they assumed Disney would apply the genius design intent of the original Splash Mountain to the PatF IP. Of course, the two properties aren’t one to one, but they certainly could have gotten closer if they wanted to. ...
Count me as one of those folks who was actually super stoked on this announcement when they made it. Whatever their reasoning, I love Princess and the Frog (certainly much more than Song of the South) and felt like the announcement was a
perfect fit for Disneyland given the attraction's location between New Orleans Square and Critter Country. As I've said, I don't hate everything that I see with how it ended up, it looks like a serviceable attraction. But I, like many others, also assumed we'd be getting something else when it was announced. Stuff like "Are ya ready?!" as you ascended the final lift seemed like no-brainers to me, for example. I certainly think they overthought much of the final product.
Sure, there are no mountains in the Bayou but we didn't
need an explanation for why the whimsical attraction (in a place like Disneyland, where the Matterhorn is next door to Sleeping Beauty Castle) looks the way it does. But they shot themselves in the foot when they started talking about stuff like when this story takes place canonically and trying to come with with some reason why going through a salt mine would make sense. That sort of thinking can work for certain attractions (I think Rise of the Resistance does it well) but something like Princess and the Frog
probably should have gotten the storybook, "Hey, you're in Disneyland!" treatment. Guests don't ask why Rapunzel still has her long hair when they meet her, so they're probably not going to question someone like Dr. Facilier being present.
Unless you try and tie yourself down with timelines, canon, etc. Which they did. That being the case: why is Ray singing "Going Down the Bayou"? I thought he was dead. We see him and Evangeline in the sky right before the dip drop! See? If you hadn't of come out and told me that I now need to judge this attraction in a certain context, this wouldn't even be a complaint. But because they told me this ride takes place after the movie, now it is.
... Tiana tries to tell a linear story that isn’t compelling and doesn’t fit the ride system. ...
My wife had a similar complaint with Mission Breakout. The "OhmygodI'mgoingtodie" falling elevator ride system was a perfect fit for the spooky atmosphere and story of the Tower of Terror. But when she rode Guardians, the music and characters, etc. felt to her like it was trying to be a party of some kind that she should be enjoying. Not fearing for her life. Basically, she felt the ride system didn't feel like it was a good fit for what was happening around her.
