THE ARGO
A semi-prequel to
Hercules, following Phil, the satyr trainer of heroes, in his earlier days.
Hercules messes around a lot with the chronology of Greek myths, but we can work around that. This adventure would adapt Jason and the Argonauts, taking some liberties, and making certain parts of the epic a little more suitable for family audiences. Philoctetes is a nymph-chasing satyr who is prophecized to participate in a great voyage and become a trainer of heroes.
The film begins with King Pelias declaring himself ruler of Iolcus after the death of his brother Aeson. Hearing from the Oracle of Delphi that his newborn nephew Jason will succeed him as king, and he will die killed by a "man wearing one sandal". Pelias acts to remove the baby from the picture. Jason's mother Alcimede flees to the temple of Hera, begging for help. Jason is spirited away, but his mother is killed. Jason is given to Phil to raise, being a young, inexperienced grumpy goat, but he warms to Jason, believing he is the hero he will train.
Years later, Jason is a dashing, handsome, brainy youth, popular with nymphs, but has a growing issue with being an attention-seeker. Like an anti-Hercules, soon to evolve into a Gaston wannabe. Jason helps an old woman across a river, who turns out to be Hera, who reveals his true heritage and tells him to go to Iolcus wearing one sandal. Phil and Jason present themselves to King Pelias, who pretends he doesn't recognise Jason, instead challenging him to go on a quest to prove his heroism and royal might. Jason opts to acquire the mythical Golden Fleece from Colchis. Pelias swears to Zeus that he will abdicate if Jason returns, though is confident that his quest shall fail.
Phil and Jason form the Argonauts to sail for Colchis, commissioning for the creation of the Argo, by master shipbuilder Argus. They recruit a ragtag group of warriors to join them. These include the bantering twins Castor and Pollux; romantic poet Orpheus; Atalanta, a wild acolyte of Artemis, and the lone woman onboard; brainiac genius Nestor; Peleus, a warrior who likes to brag about his young son Achilles; and the eagle-eyed Lynceus who literally thinks he is a cat.
The Argonauts set sail, encountering a few obstacles along the way. They meet Phineus, a blind oracle who abused the gifts of prophecy given to him. He is attacked by harpies, but the Argonauts cage them. Phineus tells Jason that the best way to reach Colchis is by sailing through the treacherous Crashing Rocks. The heroes go on a perilous course through the rocks, but through Phil's guidance, are able to overcome them, though lose a couple of shipmates on the way.
After many leagues, the Argonauts arrive in Colchis, ruled by King Aeetes. Aeetes is deceitful, having been informed by Pelias of Jason's intent to steal the Golden Fleece. Aeetes acts hospitable, introducing the crew to his moody daughter Medea, and beloved little brother Absyrtus. Medea is a talented mage, but lacks the means to truly show off her talents. Jason takes a shine to Medea, asking her to help him get the fleece. Rather than be bewitched to fall in love with him, Medea does in naturally. Jason takes on Aeetes' mechanical fire-spitting bulls before a crowd, winning their affection. This ramps up Jason's need for adoration to pure egotism, which upsets Phil.
At night, Medea guides Jason and Phil to the gardens where the Golden Fleece is kept, but it is guarded by skeletal warriors spawned from a dragon's teeth. Jason is able to fight the warriors whilst Medea destroys the magical barriers blocking the fleece. They escape onboard the Argo, where Jason claims the entire fleece theft was his achievement. Aeetes gives chase on a ship, when Medea discovers her brother Absyrtus has snuck onboard to go with them. To deter Aeetes, Medea creates an illusion that makes it look like her brother is thrown overboard into the sea, much to the Argonauts' horror. In truth, Medea places her brother in a rowboat, sending off into the sea to be picked up by their father (much better where she willingly cuts him to pieces and throws him into the sea!)
To return to Iolcus, the Argo sails for the direction of Crete. Phil objects, fearing the bronze giant Talos that guards the coast, but Jason starts getting cocky. They encounter Talos, who tries to destroy the Argo, until Medea once again saves the day by using her magecraft to disable the giant, knocking it into the sea. Having cowered before the bronze giant, Jason has a go at Medea for stealing his glory. The mage argues back, claiming his success has been achieved through the support of his allies, and he would be useless without them. Jason has a falling out with everybody, who plan to desert him once they get back to Iolcus, since there would be no room in his new kingdom beyond his ego.
The Argo sails into Iolcus, where a downtrodden Jason puts on a brave face and presents the Golden Fleece to his uncle. Pelias throws a large banquet and party, planning to abdicate in the morning in a proper ceremony. Jason finds himself alone at the party, despite being surrounded by praising sycophants and many women. Medea watches in disgust, sweeping out of the hall, followed by Phil, who has second doubts about abandoning his adopted son.
At the same time, Pelias dons the Golden Fleece and proclaims to the kingdom that he shall become the immortal ruler of Iolcus, arresting Jason and throws him into the dungeons, whilst the Argonauts will be burnt on their own ship. Medea and Phil evade capture, finding a beaten Jason in the dungeons, who has a direct view of the Argo about to be destroyed. Jason finally realises what a prat he has been, blinded by his own expected glory and is about lose all his friends. Phil gives him a pep talk, encouraging Jason to be the hero he was destined to be.
Jason, Phil, and Medea charge through the palace, encountering guards. Medea uses magic and dragon teeth to summon skeletal warriors, who clear the way for them to reach the Argo. Jason confronts Pelias, challenging him to a duel, even when wearing the fleece. It is down to skill, not pride. Medea and Phil free the other Argonauts. Pelias reveals he murdered Jason's mother, but hints he may have poisoned his father to seize the throne. Their duel continues, until it looks like Pelias has the upper hand. Jason is able to play on Pelias' ego, tricking him into cutting through the Argo's mast. It collapses on Pelias, splitting the Argo in two, which sink into the sea. Tangled in the fleece, Pelias cannot escape, sinking to the depths to drown for eternity. Jason appears to have perished too.
The Argonauts mourn Jason, but come sunrise, Jason miraculously appears, having used his wits to escape drowning like his uncle. He reunites with Medea and Phil, but believes he is a lousy hero and would make a lousy king. Jason and Medea depart for the unknown, with rumours spreading that Jason became a jerk, and was historically seen as one. Phil returns home, finding the mast of the Argo waiting for him as a gift from the gods. Although Jason wasn't the hero of prophecy, Phil will train him, whenever he appears.
