It's that time of the month! I've officially seen all of the February releases I'm going to end up catching for the month and so that means its time to rank them! I will be going through all 24 new releases that I caught and ranking them worst to best.
Keep in mind, these are not all the movies that dropped this month, just the ones I caught. I think I've seen all the really notable ones besides
Ordinary Angels. Also, these rankings are subject to change by the end of the year and are also not ranked against my January movies that I saw.
With that said, let's do it!
#24- This is Me... Now
[Watched on PrimeVideo]
I'll be honest, calling this a movie is probably being overly-generous. This was an hour long Jennifer Lopez album film that was all about getting back with Ben Affleck and it was an absolute waste of time. I watched it because I'm going for a full 365 this year (I guess 366 cuz leap year) but otherwise there is zero reason unless you're a big JLO fan. I am not, so this was a huge miss for me.
#23- Madame Web
[Watched in theaters]
Every bit as bad as it's being made out to be. Nobody in this movie wanted to be in it, the whole thing is ADR'd to hell, and the story just plain sucks. Absolutely not worth the watch and I think it's time for Sony to just give up on this live action universe and stick to the Spider-Verse animated franchise.
#22- Mea Culpa
[Watched on Netflix]
I expected nothing from this Tyler Perry directed "steamy legal drama" and still I was in for a ride with a completely unlikeable lead, a story I did not care at all about, and a completely boring rest of the film. Even if you're a Tyler Perry fan, I can't see any reason to watch this. Plus, Trevante Rhodes really needs to fire his agent.
#21- Somewhere Quiet
[Watched on VOD]
It's been a rough year in general, but especially for horror. Somewhere Quiet looks like it's going to be some sort of supernatural horror that would maybe at least be a little fun, but instead it's about a gaslighting husband and his very creepy relation with his cousin. It's a gross and weird movie without any actual horror element and is not worth a watch.
#20- Lover, Stalker, Killer
[Watched on Netflix]
I already don't really like true crime, I find it weird and predatory, but this began a trend that lasted the whole month of stories that just didn't at all need a documentary about it. The twist that happens is so heavily foreshadowed by the TITLE OF THE DOC that it doesn't even make for engaging true crime.
#19- Operation Arctic Cure
[Watched on Disney+]
Another story that just didn't at all need a documentary about it, even a short one like this. It follows some veterans with PTSD and other issues taking a therapy trip to the arctic and while some of the shots of Aurora Borealis are super cool, the whole thing felt invasive to these peoples' struggles and I didn't enjoy watching it.
#18- The Tiger's Apprentice
[Watched on Paramount+]
Animation might rival horror for how rough it has been. This was a super boring and surface level animated movie with some interesting enough ideas, but so concerned with keeping the attention of the audience with action that we learned next to nothing about the characters, the world, or why we should care at all.
#17- History of Evil
[Watched on Shudder]
This one was ALMOST interesting, it had an interesting setup with a dystopian setting, a political message, and a haunted house and I think that would've made for a neat movie. Unfortunately, it ended up being a really generic haunted house movie that thought it could nail the same concept as The Shining and it didn't really work.
#16- Players
[Watched on Netflix]
This was a really by the books Netflix rom-com that worked fine for what it was, but that's because you don't really expect quality in those. The cast here was fun though and I actually really enjoyed the first 15 or so minutes where it felt a lot like an episode of New Girl (maybe it's just because Coach was in it though...) but the rest was just kind of meh and forgettable.
#15- Bosco
[Watched on Peacock]
Elements of this movie were interesting, particularly the in-prison segments, but I didn't really like any of the characters, I didn't care about the escape, and the only elements I really cared for were the very sparse moments of commentary on the US prison system. Otherwise, I don't think this one really needs to be watched.